


What The World Needs Now Is Love: Part Two - An Aaron Hotchner Story

by Abixx7



Series: What The World Needs Now Is Love [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Action & Romance, Crime Fighting, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Guns, Hate Crimes, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, Meet the Family, POV First Person, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 16:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 93,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11855304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abixx7/pseuds/Abixx7
Summary: It's December and festive cheer is in the air; Lizzy is preparing for the annual Harmon family get-together and is looking forward to celebrating her first Christmas with Aaron and Jack as part of the festivities. But the road to happiness is never a straight one and with the added pressures of new co-workers, conflicts within her family, finding time for her newfound love life and a potential group of killers roaming Quantico, will Lizzy get her perfect white Christmas? Will she be able to face a part of her past that she'd rather forget? And will they all manage to escape unscathed?





	1. Praefatio

Welcome back to Part 2 of What The World Needs Now Is Love! - If you haven't read the first part, then I would strongly recommend doing that before diving into this part.

\- I'll be updating this story twice a week on Sunday at 11am GMT and Wednesday at 6pm GMT

\- Roughly, this story takes place at the beginning of Series 6 - basically it is post-Hayley's death

\- In this world, Beth never came into the picture

\- This story will contain swearing

\- I don't own Criminal Minds, nor do I own Hotch, Reid, Rossi, Morgan, Prentiss, JJ, Garcia, Sean, Jessica or Jack, Hotch's son. The rest of the characters, however, are my own.

\- For those that are interested, Lizzy looks a little bit like the picture below

\- Again, the chapter titles are in Latin because Lizzy is a bit of a Latin aficionado

\- You can check out the Spotify playlist that I created for this story which features songs which describe Lizzy, songs that she likes, songs that feature in this part, songs that are inspiration for sequels and songs that fit with certain moods and atmospheres within the story (open.spotify.com/user/abicxx/pla...)

\- Enjoy!

 

**** ~~~~

 

 

 


	2. Unum

I pulled up in front of my parents house, killing the engine and listening to the radio fade away. In the back seat, Lola, Lexi and Jack were chatting away about one of their favorite cartoons while Aaron sat quietly in the seat next to me, his hands clasped in his lap.

He'd been silent for the entirety of the 15 minute journey. He'd made no observations about the weather or shared any further details about the case he'd just returned from - no more grisly details about the murder or amusing conversations that he'd had with the team.

This was completely out of character. Something wasn't right.

'This is definitely the most stressed out I've ever seen you and that's saying something.' I joked after a moment, turning to face him. His eyes shot to me and narrowed.

'What're you talking about? I'm fine, I'm more than fine, I'm - '

'You've been tapping your foot like mad since we set off and you keep clenching your teeth.' I smiled, watching Aaron raise an eyebrow at me. I shrugged. 'Dating a profiler will do that to a person. You've taught me a few things.'

Aaron swallowed and his eyes flitted towards the floor. I didn't think that I'd ever seen him look so nervous before, except apart from the first time we'd gone on a date. I felt a pang of guilt. I was making him feel this way.

'I know that my family can be pretty crazy but they know me well enough by now and trust me to make my own decisions and chose the things that are best for me.' I reached over and took his rough hand in my own. 'And that means that they're going to love you and Jack because you're what happens to be best for me, okay?'

Aaron smiled slightly and nodded, squeezing my hand. I turned back towards the kids. Jack had quietened down slightly and I noticed he was staring at the house closest to us: the house of my parents.

'You okay, buddy?' Aaron asked and Jack, albeit not too convincingly.

'Have you told Jack about the fish?' I looked towards Lola who shook her head. 'No? How have you not told him?' My dad was particularly proud of his ever growing fish collection and Lola was particularly enamored with it, seeing as she loved animals so much.

Lola instantly started explaining how all the fish had named and some were exotic and that they weren't just goldfish. I was hoping that Jack would be able to focus more on the fish, rather than the four new people he was about to meet.

'I guess we should get going.' I murmured, gesturing to the time on the dash. I'd said we'd be there for 12:30 and it was currently 12: 28. Aaron didn't look too thrilled by the idea but courageously popped open the car door.

Lola and Lexi quickly clambered out and ran up the path, half-dragging Jack behind them. I locked the car and followed behind them, Aaron next to me. The sun was shining high in the sky but the air was still frosty; it was clearly the first of December.

His hands were pushed deep into the pocket of his gray slacks, his jaw tense. 'I'm not ready for this.' He muttered quietly under his breath and I gave him a hard look.

'Yes, you are.' I said firmly. Out of everything his job entailed, the fact that he was worrying about facing my parents made me smile slightly and showed that he wasn't the untouchable, stony-faced person that many presumed. 'If they don't love you then I'll...I'll...I'll quit my job and become an astronaut, how's that?'

'That's quite a career change.' Aaron admitted and I rolled my eyes, looping my arm around his elbow as Lexi rang the bell. If the windows had been open, I knew I would be able to hear Aimee and Joe practicing for their next gig. The music pretty much never stopped.

The door swung open to reveal my dad, dressed in a blue striped shirt and black slacks. He didn't really do casual dressing.

'Morning!' He said, sounding remarkably cheerful, as Lexi latched onto his leg.

'Technically, it's afternoon.' I said, gripping Aaron's arm tighter as I watched my dad discretely survey him. Of course, nothing was discreet to Aaron. He somehow managed to pick up everything surrounding a person's behavior.

'Just trying to make conversation.' He joked and I rolled my eyes. 'I know that's more your mother's area - '

'You'll get told off for saying that.' I said warningly but he only smirked.

'Let's get you out of the cold.' He said, stepping backwards as Lola ran forwards to hug him and Lexi ran past into the main part of the house.

My dad straightened up, turning his attention to Aaron and I squeezed his hand. I could see him clenching his jaw. 'Dad, this is Aaron.'

'It's a pleasure to meet you...sir...' Aaron said quickly, offering his hand for my dad to shake. Was this an involuntary response after years of greeting people in the name of the FBI? Or was it for this very reason, that my dad was an FBI agent, that he'd pulled out the handshake and the sir?

'Call me Frank.' My dad replied, shaking Aaron's hand and smiled, his face tight and slightly strained. 'I don't want to be taken back to work quite yet. And it's lovely to meet you too.'

I saw Aaron swallow hard as I took his hand, his palm offering a gentle warmth in the cold air. I tried to look encouraging. Why did Dad have to look so unimpressed?

'And who's this young man?' Dad asked, looking down towards Jack who was standing close to Aaron's leg.

'Jack.' Jack answered, his voice a little quieter than usual.

'Do you want to come in, then? You must be getting hungry.' Dad said warmly as Jack nodded and was consequently pulled into the living room by Lola. I could already hear her gossiping about the fish.

I hoped they hadn't died in the week since I'd last been at my parents.

'Sorry, I'll just be a minute.' Dad hastily said as cries of 'FRANK!' echoed through the corridor from the kitchen. My mom.

'I don't think he likes me very much.' Aaron said quietly, once Dad was out of earshot. I was going to have strong words with him if he didn't.

'That's nonsense.' I said as strongly as I could, taking off my coat, hanging it up and wiping some fluff from my dark jeans and striped jumper. 'That's just my Dad. I could be dating the President and he'd still think I could do better. He's just protective.'

'You sure?' Aaron adjusted the cuffs of his navy sweater and shot me a look.

'Yes!' I promised, half-shocked by the way a meeting with my dad was breaking Aaron apart. 'You can amaze him with all your BAU missions. They're much more exciting than what he gets up to in the Postal Inspection Service.'

'They're a very important department.' I heard Aaron mutter quietly as I pushed open the door to the living room. Of course Aaron would go for the diplomatic answer.

Aimee and Joe were belting out 'Creep' as I led Aaron into the living room. I settled down onto the sofa, shooting Aimee a wave as Aaron sat down cautiously next to me. Through the window, I could see Lola, Lexi and Jack gathered around the pond and pointing animatedly at it. I guessed the fish were still alive then.

'You're going to have to get used to this.' I said, gesturing towards where Aimee and Joe were singing in the conservatory.

'They're really good.' Aaron replied and I nodded, as the music trailed off. 'I know you said they were good but - '

'They're good now.' I said with a smile. 'I've had to put up with them for the last 20 years.'

'How rude.' Joe said sarcastically, approaching me from the conservatory and I rolled my eyes.

'She didn't mean it about me. I've been amazing since birth.' Aimee quipped, coming up behind him and running a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up on his head. Joe glared at her.

'So, this is Aaron.' I said with a grin as Aaron stepped forwards to shake Joe's hand and give Aimee a kiss on the cheek. I had a to stifle a laugh. I didn't think anyone had ever actually shaken Joe's hand before. 'And this is Aimee and Joe. '

'It's good to meet you both.'

'Lizzy's told us a lot about you.' Aimee said with a wide grin on her face and I looked pointedly at her. It was no more than she usually told us about her boyfriends.

'All good things I hope.' Aaron joked. If he was joking around, then he must be feeling slightly calmer and less like he was going to have a heart attack.

'Well...' Aimee trailed off, shooting me a smirk and I felt Aaron stiffen next to me.

'All good things, I promise. Aimee's just being annoying.' Dad suddenly stuck his head out of the kitchen door, calling Joe in to help with something and Aimee grabbed me by the elbow and dragged me to the corner of the room.

'What the hell? What - '

'If I'd known that was what FBI agents who aren't my dad looked like I would have gone to all Dad's Christmas parties decades ago.' Aimee smirked, peering over my shoulder to where I knew Aaron was stood, probably wondering what the hell we were talking about.

'Very funny.' I deadpanned, turning back towards Aaron before Aimee pulled me back again.

'He looks a bit like Dad, you know - ' I rolled my eyes again and yanked my elbow from her grip.

'Stop.' I said sharply, which only resulted in her smiling even wider. 'Stop.'

Yes, both Aaron and my dad were tall with dark hair and eyes but that was where the similarities ended. I did not need to be reminded of my dad every time I kissed Aaron.

'Sorry about that, Aimee is still being Aimee.' I dragged Aaron back towards the sofa. He looked like he didn't really know what to do with this information. He was going to have to learn that Aimee was a bit nuts.

'Do you want me to do anything to help? He asked, taking my hand in his just as I heard my dad shouting from the kitchen.

'Lunch is nearly ready!'

'No?' I said with a grin and Aaron chuckled.

'Sorry, I forgot to ask if you want a drink?' Joe said, pulling the sleeves of his green jumper down where I was sure mum had just had him chopping vegetables or something. 'Apple juice for Lizzy.' He said wit a nod, before I could even open my mouth. 'Aaron? Beer? Wine?'

'Beer would be great. Thanks.'

'Don't we get to say hello to Mom?' I asked. Knowing my mom, I thought she would have been all over Aaron and quizzing him about every single aspect of his life. Apparently not.

'The kitchen is a bit manic.' Joe said grimacing and I narrowed my eyes.

'What's she doing? I specifically said that she didn't need to go crazy.' I had specifically said that Aaron wasn't expecting a big thing and that she didn't need to go all out.

It seemed like my instructions had been ignored.

'It's a bit late for that.' Joe said grinning. 'There's a full roast dinner and a three tiered chocolate cake. You're not vegetarian or diabetic are you, Aaron?'

'Great. Thanks for listening to me, Mom.' I joked, squeezing Aaron's hand.

'You didn't have to do - '

'Oh, I know, I told her that. And seriously, you're not vegetarian or diabetic are you?'  
***  
15 minutes later, Aimee had managed to wrestle the kids indoors away from the fish and we had all somehow assembled around the creaky, 6-person table, bar my parents who were still fussing around in the kitchen.

Aaron was perched at the end, with Lola, Lexi and Jack taking up one side, and myself, Aimee and Joe on the other. My parents were going to have to perch at the other end. I wasn't sure if all the plates would actually fit on the table.

Dad was slowly bring out the plates of food while continually nagging my mother to come out and meet Aaron, or my 'young man' as he kept putting it.

It was a universally known fact around the table that Aaron was a few years older than myself and was by no means my 'young man'.

'That makes it sound like I'm 16.' I complained, taking a sip of my apple juice and shooting a reassuring smile in Aaron's direction.

'You always are in our eyes.' Dad replied, placing a gravy boat down in the middle of the table. The scent of food wafted in from the kitchen as my Dad handed me my plate and made my stomach groan. Mom was an amazing cook.

'That means I'm forever 8.' Aimee grumbled and I grinned as she stuck her tongue out at me.

'Sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm here.' Even though, according to Joe, Mom had spent the majority of the morning locked away in the kitchen and yet her hair still looked perfectly blow-dried and her skin flawless.

She could spend all morning in a steaming kitchen and still look perfect. Some things weren't fair.

'Mom, this is Aaron.' I said, catching her eye before she lost her train of thought and the reason that we were having this dinner in the first place. 'Or Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner if we're being formal.'

'It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Harmon.'

'Another in the FBI.' Mom said, clearly sounding impressed, moving over so Aaron could kiss her on the cheek. 'We'll have the whole set if we keep up at this rate. And call me Margaret.'

'Not if me and Joe have anything to do with it.' Aimee beamed.

'And I see we've recruited another member.' She said, looking over at Jack who was busily chomping down his pieces of broccoli, before slowing when he realized he was being watched.

'This is Jack.' Lola announced cheerfully and I felt a surge of pride. 'He's in my class at school. And in my swimming group.' Jack seemed to calm a little when he remembered that Lola was sat next to him.

'Lunch looks delicious, thank you.' Aaron said with a smile, picking up his fork and I saw Mom blush a little. If there was one way to get into her good books it was by complementing her cooking.

'Thank you, dear.' Mom beamed.

'How big do you think I am? I'll never be able to eat all this.' Aimee whined, aimlessly stabbing at her potatoes.

'Just leave what you can't eat.' Mom said firmly, taking a large sip of wine. She probably needed it after cooking for 9 people. 'And everyone, dig in!'

FEATURED SONGS:  
Radiohead - Creep

\- How's Aaron doing with meeting the family? What do you think?


	3. Duo

'I can definitely see where Lizzy gets her cooking skills.' Aaron said after a moment, breaking the silence that had broken out over the table as everyone enjoyed their food, shooting me a smile.

He was really laying on the compliments to Mom, probably as a way to combat his nerves - his jaw was still tense. But she was lapping them up like a cat with a bowl of milk.

'You're not too bad, either.' I replied, looking over the table to where Lola, Lexi and Jack were deep in conversation. You would have never known that Jack had been nervous just minutes ago.

'A man who cooks.' Mom breathed, as though she was talking about some fantastical creature. 'I like you already, dear.'

'I'm feeling very attacked right now.' Dad pointedly, looking glumly down at his plate of food. 'Because I can cook. But you never let me in the kitchen!'

'He can make a mean lasagna.' I continued. 'And spag bol. But cake not so much.' The task of baking a simple batch of muffins had turned into a whole afternoon of chaos and raw cake batter. I still didn't know whether this was down to the fact the kids had been 'helping' or Aaron's ability to handle sugar, but it had been very endearing.

And for some reason, I'd been particularly attracted to Aaron wearing an apron.

'I can't bake to save my life.' Aaron agreed, shooting me a knowing look. So he did remember this particular incident.

'Lizzy's the better cook.' Jack agreed with a grin and I beamed, sheepishly looking down at my plate. Aaron was a very good cook too. I'd been thoroughly impressed the first time I'd gone over to his house for some food.

'You're only saying that because Lizzy makes you cake.' Aaron said pointedly, raising an eyebrow, and Jack chuckled. I shrugged.

'Lizzy would be a cake if she could be.' Aimee said with a smirk.

'And you'd be a coffee pot.' I shot back with a hard stare. Aimee's caffeine intake was a regular topic of conversation; I was surprised that she hadn't had a caffeine overdose yet.

'Where did you two meet?' Mom quickly interrupted before a full on debate could develop. Here we go. The start of the probing questions.

'I've told you how we met.' I said, my lips quirking into a smile. Every time I told someone how we'd met or the story of our first date or whatever else they wanted to know, I'd find myself smiling without even realizing it. Kelly said I was lovesick. Penelope said it was sweet.

'Yeah Mom.' Aimee said with a smirk.

'And we've been here what, 15 minutes? And we're already being interrogated - '

'25 minutes actually.' Joe interrupted, quickly checking his watch and correcting me with a nod.

'Right, sorry.' I said sarcastically, watching Joe smirk as he gulped down his beer.

'I'm just trying to make conversation!' Mom defended, with a seemingly innocent smile on her face. She was not just trying to make conversation. Curiousity was pretty much a Harmon family gene and this was her way of digging for information.

'Because 'on a case' isn't enough information.' Aimee continued, showing that curiousity really was a family gene. 'We want the juicy details.'

I looked over at Aaron. I'd lost count of how many times we'd had to tell this story over the last three months and yet still, it turned out, there were people who were blissfully ignorant and wanted to be told.

'One of Lizzy's patients was a victim in a case of ours.' Aaron paused eating for a moment, neatly placing his cutlery down on his plate. 'So we asked her to come in and answer a few questions. Then I found out she was Lola's Mom and that Jack knew Lola too. We kept seeing each other at the hospital and then - ' He shot me a smile and I looked down at my plate, blushing slightly. I still wasn't good at talking about myself. 'The rest is history.'

'The Behavioral Analysis Unit, right?' Dad asked and I had to refrain from rolling my eyes. Dad had asked me this multiple times over the last few weeks, undoubtedly checking Aaron's record on the FBI systems, so there was absolutely no way that he didn't know this.

He was trying to figure out just how high up Aaron was in the FBI. I'd told him before that he was the leader of his team, the Unit Chief in fact, and had been a highly respected prosecutor before joining the FBI.

Apparently, this wasn't good enough.

'Yes, sir. I've been there for a number of years now.' The sir must have slipped out without him realizing it. It was cute how much effort he was putting into this conversation and it made me smile, even if my Dad still looked a little dubious as to Aaron's intentions.

'It certainly sounds more exciting than what we get up to in Postal Inspection. A lot more leg work, though.' Dad chuckled under his breath, no doubt recalling the hilarious missions he'd been on in the past, chasing dubious packages

'But no less important.' Aaron said quickly, which was clearly the diplomatic answer. While both were important, the closest Dad had ever come to dealing with a murder was by listening to the tales from other departments. 'I think I heard that you recently got a much-deserved promotion? Congratulations.'

Had Aaron been doing his homework on my family? I doubted a promotion in Postal Inspection would ever make it up to the BAU, even if Dad was now an Assistant Deputy.

Dad beamed and nodded. 'Why they're bothering promoting me at my age I've no idea but I'm now the boss of 25 people so...' He shrugged and I saw Aimee and Joe both roll their eyes. 'But thank you.'

'You're hardly a fossil.' Aimee said. This was true, but it was also true that Dad was 62 years old and that FBI agents had retired decades before him and lived long and happy lives.

'I'm the oldest in the department.' Dad quipped back, shrugging.

'That means nothing.' I encouraged. 'They clearly value you if they gave you a promotion and trust you to do a good job.' I was going to mention that Aaron was actually one of the oldest within the BAU, given the high-risk nature of the job and how many agents went onto other departments but I decided against this.

I didn't want the looks I'd received from people when I told them that Aaron was nearing 40 while I was 32 from my own parents. Not when Aaron was already feeling nervy. I felt like I was getting off easy. He wasn't close to his mother anymore, his father was long dead and his brother was dashing all over the place.

I didn't have to go through the awkward family dinner. At least, not yet.

'Don't you get scared sometimes?' Aimee asked suddenly, drastically changing the tone of our conversation. 'Dealing with murderers and stuff?' Aaron nodded and I saw Mom shoot a look in the kids direction.

'Yeah, especially when I'm out in the field with my team. Sometimes a Kevlar vest doesn't cut it but - ' He paused for a moment. 'We're there to help the victims and their families and bring the people responsible to justice. I try and concentrate on that.'

I could only imagine the emotions that must run through his head on a daily basis when he was on a case: anger that this was happening, panic at whether they were going to kill again, fear that one of his team members would be hurt.

I couldn't deal with that on a daily basis, having life and death in the balance. Yes, I did deal with diseases that could kill people but I dealt with deaths that were spread out over months, deaths that you could almost anticipate because there just wasn't the treatment to do anything about it.

I couldn't deal with someone dying in my arms.

'Why can't you all just have low-risk, low-stress jobs?' Mom complained, not even Aimee being able to complain about this. Fitting in her work as a waitress as well as being part of a band was certainly not low-stress.

'Because we find them more rewarding.' I said. This was something I'd talked with Aaron at length about in the past. We didn't do our jobs because they were easy but because we felt like we were making a difference.

'And they pay a ton of money.' Aimee said bluntly. This was another frequent topic of conversation - how I was paid a seemingly massive amount of money - and while it did mean I could have quite a comfortable lifestyle, it was representative of the thousands of dollars of student debt I'd racked up in my years of studying.

'Does it feel strange not performing on stage every night?' I asked after a moment, looking down at my half-empty plate. I wasn't even aware of how much I'd eaten. Everything tasted so good and I knew I was finishing the whole plate.

'Yeah.' Aimee said nodding. The last performance of Hairspray had been yesterday evening, after nearly a month of solid performances. I'd been to see all the Saturday performances and both Aimee and Joe had been amazing.

But of course I had to say that. They were my baby brother and sister.

'But auditions are starting for Grease in a couple of months, I think.' Aimee said excitedly. 'So I'm polishing up on Hopelessly Devoted To You.'

'You'd be a great Sandy.' I said and this wasn't because she was my baby sister. She could be cute and innocent one minute and then tough and bold the next. She practically was Sandy. 'Joe?'

'I don't think so.' He said slowly and my eyes widened. I thought he'd enjoyed his time in Hairspray. What had changed? 'I prefer it when it's just me and my guitar in my room where I can watch soccer games and don't have to think about how much fake tan I'm wearing.'

I smiled at this. Aimee and Joe were both several shades more orange than they usually were. It would take days of scrubbing in the shower to fully remove it.

'Fair enough.'

'At least I get one of my children back. It seems like you were never away from that theater.' Mom muttered, pouring herself another glass of wine.

'Does anyone want another drink while I'm in the kitchen?' Dad suddenly asked, glancing at my empty glass. I shook my head.

'You can't get Lizzy or Aaron too drunk, Dad.' Aimee said with a smirk. 'They've got a hot date later.' I rolled my eyes, concentrating on spooning potatoes onto my fork rather than what Aimee was insinuating.

Yes, Aaron was hot, particularly when he got a little dressed up. But nothing was going to be happening tonight, aside from having a good catch up. We'd only been dating for 3 months and I wasn't ready to even think about taking the next step, in the direction of what Aimee was suggesting.

'What're you wearing?'

'Something.' I replied quickly, not having spared my outfit tonight any thought. Aimee raised an suggestive eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes again, noticing that Aaron looked a tad awkward. I was going to wear a nice dress, nothing particularly flashy or interesting and certainly not sexy in the way Aimee was suggesting.

Aaron had been on a case out in a remote part of California for the last week so we'd seen nothing of each other and had very little contact, seeing as there had been no cell signal. Therefore, we'd arranged to go out for dinner tonight to have a good catch up.

The only reason that Aimee knew about the whole thing was because I'd asked her to babysit at first but seeing as she was working a late shift, Kelly was now coming round instead and the girls were ecstatic.

I'd known when I entered into my relationship with Aaron that our conflicting schedules was going to put a strain on things. Things were going to be difficult. I'd known that.

But that didn't make the distance any easier to bear.  
***  
After I'd stuffed myself with chocolate cake, I settled onto the sofa alongside Aaron, my parents and my siblings. The kids were back outside, playing in the frost. Aimee and Mom were busily watching a property auction show which they watched religiously. It was like a bonding experience for them.

All in all, I was very surprised that Aaron hadn't been interrogated further by my parents. But, then again, Dad knew only too well of the rigorous background checks that were used in the FBI and, seeing as Aaron used to be a prosecutor, he probably wasn't a criminal.

I'd be telling them he was a good guy for weeks now. And now they finally knew it.

It seemed that after firing enough questions at him, Dad had begun to calm down a little and had realized just how high up in the BAU Aaron really was.

I rested my head on Aaron's shoulder, his arm snaking around my waist. I'd wanted Aaron to meet my parents for weeks now, but due to everyone's busy routines it hadn't been possible until now.

'Lizzy said that you like running?' Dad said suddenly, turning to look at us. Dad had seemed to warm up to Aaron pretty quickly, realizing that a Supervisory Special Agent couldn't be that bad.

'Not when the weather's like this.' Aaron smiled, gesturing to the weather outside. 'But in the summer I run a lot, yes.'

'How the hell are you with Lizzy?' Aimee breathed with a grin and I narrowed my eyes. 'She'd rather live in a cave than run anywhere.'

'That is not true! I was in 3 sports teams as I teenager and I - '

'The only reason that you were on those teams was because you were the tallest girl in your year and you could just stand there and wait for the ball to hit you in the chest.' Aimee replied, leaning forwards before Mom shushed her and dragged her back by the shoulder.

I might abhor running and have no idea how Aaron could find the whole thing fun, but that didn't mean I wasn't active. I did ballet.

And I'd been a valuable member of my netball, basketball and volleyball team. I'd been good at it. Kind of...

'I'm with you because you're hardworking and funny and kind...' Aaron murmured quietly in my ear, drawing circles along my sides with his fingertips. I smiled shyly, meeting his gaze for a moment before kissing him quickly on the lips.

'You'll inflate my ego even more.' I joked quietly, before looking up sharply as Joe began making retching noises from behind his phone.

'Stop being so cute before someone throws up.' Joe teased and I rolled my eyes, knowing that if my parents weren't sat in the room I would have undoubtedly given Joe the finger.

\- What are your thoughts so far? Thanks for reading!


	4. Tribus

I turned left into the car park, the FBI building looming imposingly over me. It was practically my second home now. Or at least, the BAU floor was.

I checked the time on the dashboard as I pulled into a parking space. 5:58 PM. If I hurried up, I'd probably be able to have dinner at my parents with the girls before going home. If Jack hadn't gone to his Aunt's after school, then I'd be picking him up from my parents too.

It wasn't every day but usually once a week, whoever was picking the girls up from school would pick Jack up too and then I'd either take Jack back home or Aaron would.

I wouldn't normally be stopping by the FBI building on a Monday evening but Aaron had left his umbrella at my house last night when we'd come back from dinner and considering the weather forecast for this week, I reckoned he would need it again pretty soon.

We'd gone to a Spanish restaurant and while it wasn't exactly the cuisine I was used to, it had still been lovely.

I hadn't seen Aaron since the previous Sunday morning until yesterday and I'd needed a catch up with him - to talk about the kids and how work was stressing us out and how quickly Christmas was creeping up on us.

And, of course, to have some good food and se him in a nice shirt, which always made me feel better.

We'd already discussed the fact that the only way we were going to make our hectic schedules work was if we regularly talked and spent time together. We'd had an open and honest conversation and that was the only way our relationship was going to work.

I clambered out of the car and locked the door, passing through the security measures and into the foyer. I knew my way around the building pretty well now. At the very least, I knew which floor to get off at.

It had been three months so I should be able to figure my way round, really. It didn't feel like three months, though. I could still remember the day we'd told the team we were dating and it felt like yesterday.

For the first month of our relationship, we hadn't told anybody and that had nearly killed me. But I wanted the kids to get to grips with us being together, particularly Jack.

I didn't want Jack to think in any way that I was replacing Haley. Because I could never do that and I would never want to. And I'd needed Jack to understand that, really understand that, before I could tell anybody.

We'd told pretty much everybody on the same day which may have been a mistake - one crazy Wednesday where my phone had been buzzing every 30 seconds with a new message.

I'd shown up at the BAU under the pretense of seeing Penelope while the team were buzzing over the fact Aaron was going to introduce them to his girlfriend. It seemed that David had been interrogating him for weeks and Aaron had finally, at least partially, cracked.

It just hadn't clicked with them that that girlfriend was, in fact, me.

I'd gone with it, though, asking questions about what they thought she would be like and how Aaron had been acting. Apparently he'd been smiling more often and telling more jokes and talking about Jack more which filled me with a warmth that I couldn't explain.

Aaron had been stood there the whole time, trying not to crack and reveal all. I'd glared at him several times. I was having too much fun here.

But all it had taken was one look to Penelope and she'd read my knowing smile like a book.

Aaron had then joked that he should be concerned that his team hadn't been able to read the signs. Penelope had stopped smiling for about a week. Kelly had practically fainted and had then started spouting sarcastic comments about my non-existent sex life and how that was all about to change now that I had Aaron wrapped around my finger.

It had been a fun day.

I stepped out onto the elevator and onto the BAU floor, quickly making my way through the bustling group of agents and up towards the room where the team, including Aaron, could usually be found.

As I'd predicted, I heard the sound of familiar voices as I approached the doorway. Sat around the table, busily filling out pieces of paper, was the team.

Or rather, they were supposed to be filling out forms but were chatting instead.

I knocked on the door before rummaging around in my bag for Aaron's umbrella. Everyone greeted me as I pulled out the object I'd been looking for, a plain, standard black umbrella, and waved it in Aaron's direction.

'You're a lifesaver.' He said getting out of his chair to take his umbrella back and kiss my cheek. I smirked. That was an exaggeration.

'It's fine.' I promised with a smile, turning towards the team. 'He left it in my car.' I said, in way of explanation. 'How is everyone?'

I scanned the five seated figures in front of me, my eyes latching onto Emily who was looking several shades darker from when I'd last seen her. She must have noticed my stare and she sighed.

'This is what happens when you spend a week in California running around a desert and then my entire weekend in Phoenix at an outdoor conference with Reid and Rossi.' She clarified with a grin. 'The dream team. Bet your weekend wasn't as good as mine. What did you get up to?'

'You know, same old.' I said nonchalantly, shooting Aaron what I thought was a subtle smile which he relayed. I saw Spencer's eyes narrow a little and I straightened up. If Spencer noticed it, then the others probably did too. Sometimes, being friends with profilers could be very inconvenient.

'Anyway, what about the rest of you?' I asked quickly, turning my attention to Derek. 'How was your weekend?'

'Very pleasant, thank you.'

'Get up to anything exciting?' Aaron asked, passing his file over to Spencer, and shooting me another subtle glance. Derek shot Aaron a sharp look, clicking the top of his pen.

'Have we missed something?' David asked from across the table, smirking slightly.

'I don't know, you'll have to ask Derek I don't want to miss anything.' I smiled, shrugging. He glared over at me. I loved hanging out with the team, mainly because I got to joke around with people who weren't my family.

Aaron chuckled as I watched the rest of the team shoot each other bemused glances. Derek rolled his eyes. 'Great, you're in on this too.'

'Would someone like to explain what's going on because I'm lost.' JJ said finally, holding her hands up. I met Aaron's eye and he nodded at me. I guess I was telling the story then.

'So. Last night I was out having dinner with a certain somebody - ' Everybody's eye suddenly shot to Aaron who simply raised his eyebrow and smiled slightly at me. He'd got used to it by now.

'Aww, that's cute.' smiled JJ and I grinned.

'Anyway, that's not the story, we'll come back to that.' I continued. 'We were in the restaurant and then happen to spot a certain Agent Morgan sat across from us, talking so intently to a woman that he didn't notice us all evening.'

As soon as the words left my mouth, the team were firing comments, thoughts and jibes in Derek's direction who was accepting them all with a smile, though was glaring over in my direction.

'She was telling me about her cats!' Derek protested, 'I had to look interested or she'd get upset!'

'Cats plural?' David asked and he nodded.

'Yeah. Six cats.' He breathed, almost as if he couldn't believe the number. He didn't seem like a six cast kind of guy.

'So nothing's going to come from it?' I prompted and he shook his head.

'I don't think so.'

'You're such a Casanova.' Emily said with a grin, biting the end of her pen. 'It's a new date every week.'

There was a sudden bustling behind me and I turned to see Penelope hurrying along the corridor clutching a stack of paper. Her face lit up when she saw me and I greeted her, before she turned to face the team.

'These were just faxed through for you, sir.' She said, passing Aaron the papers. He nodded.

'Thanks Garcia.'

'Have you heard about Morgan's date yesterday?' Emily asked, raising her eyebrow and Pen nodded.

'Course. I set him and Ashleigh up. She's from my pottery class.' Pen beamed. 'And he's not the only one who saw some romantic action at the weekend.'

'We know, these two had a date too - ' JJ started but Pen cut her off.

'And, someone met the in-laws.' Pen said, relishing the words as though she was uncovering top-secret government information.

I inwardly groaned, watching the victorious and somewhat surprised looks bloom on everyone's face. Why did I tell people these things? Nothing was every kept a secret for long.

'You met her parents for the first time?' David asked and Aaron nodded.

'Yeah. And her brother and sister.' He said cautiously, his eyes meeting mine.

'And?' Aaron shrugged.

'They were lovely, as if they'd be anything else.' He said with a smirk. I smiled at the memory, of Aaron practically being a nervous wreck, of Dad being his typically overbearing self, of Aimee being crazy.

'You should have seen him.' I said fiendishly, 'He was a wreck.'

'Not true.' He combatted and I shrugged.

'Kind of true.'

'It was nerve-wracking!'

'They all loved you, even Dad who is seriously overbearing. And they're enamored with Jack because who wouldn't be.' I grinned, watching Aaron smile and see the amused looks on everyone's face.

'It looks like everyone had a successful weekend then.' Spencer smiled.

'Apart from Ashleigh.' I said, looking over at Pen. 'Will she be upset?'

'Nah, she'll be fine. I can set her up with our resident genius next!' Pen announced and Spencer immediately furrowed his brows, his mouth dropping open.


	5. Quattour

Tuesday morning was manic. I got stuck in a horrendous traffic jam on the way back from dropping the girls off at school, so I missed the morning briefing and nearly missed my first patient. Then I had non-stop patients until 11AM, one of whom was heavily pregnant and was sick all over the floor of the waiting room.

So that was fun.

Since the moment I arrived at the hospital, I was itching to check my computer and see the inevitable stack of emails that Evan had sent me. In the last few months, he'd suddenly become very thorough with his paperwork and was constantly sending me emails with patient updates and new information.

It seemed that all my comments about his lack of organization had actually got through to him and had kicked him into gear. His office was now impeccably tidy and rivaled me in terms of how many filing cabinets he had in there.

It was kind of scary. But was also great.

Not only had he become more organized, but he'd also become a lot calmer and more compassionate. Something told me that this was a direct result of the killings that had happened 3 months ago where we'd lost 3 members of the hospital. He'd realized that he wasn't untouchable and become a lot more human as a result.

I finally found myself with a 15 minute break, which gave me time to breathe, check my emails and glug down some water. Talking for 2 solid hours was tiring.

As well as Evan suddenly developing a sense of humanity, we'd also got a new head of Gynecology. Dr. Coren had been whisked off to the other side of the state to head up a hospital there which I certainly wasn't sad about. He might have been a good doctor but he wasn't particularly good at running a department.

His replacement, Dr. Terzaki, was a slightly eccentric but seemingly capable Greek doctor who was obsessed with dogs. He seemed nice and allowed Kelly as long a lunch break as she wanted, so she was fully on board with him.

I looked up at the knock on my door to see Sylvie peering her head around the corner, her long blond hair pinned up at the nape of her neck. 'Terzaki wants you for a minute.' She said with a smile and I sighed, pushing myself away from my desk and going out into the foyer.

Terzaki was standing in the foyer, the desk void of Kelly who was presumably taking an early lunch break, talking to a young woman and everything finally clicked into place. There was a new trainee doctor starting today, or rather, she was a fully qualified doctor but was training to become a licensed gynecologist.

And I was going to be the doctor who was looking after her and guiding her through the whole thing. I'd never done anything like this before, where someone else's career relied so heavily on me. But it was all going to be fine.

She was fairly short, around Aimee's height, with fiery auburn hair, pale, freckled skin and bright blue eyes and was talking animatedly to Terzaki and laughing at something he said. She was wearing a striped blue t-shirt and some black jeans, her hair tied up into a ponytail.

Terzaki spotted me approaching and turned towards me, his graying-blonde hair sticking up on his head. 'Dr. Harmon, this is Dr. Griffin. Dr. Griffin, this is Dr. Harmon.'

I smiled, stepping forwards to shake her hand. 'Becky.' She clarified with a smile. 'Or Rebecca. Or Becca, I don't mind but - '

'It's really good to meet you, Becky.' I replied. Terzaki stepped forwards to tap me on my shoulder.

'I'll leave you to it, then. If there's any problems then I'll be in my office.' Terzaki said before walking away, whistling quietly to himself.

I had no idea what I was doing. Becky was stood in front of me, the energy and enthusiasm emitting from her in waves, her bright smile lighting up the corridor. And I had no idea how I was supposed to guide her, how I was supposed to help her.

I thought back to five years ago when I'd arrived at St. Addison's and had first met Sylvie who had guided me through the whole process. I'd been wracked with nerves. It was one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of my entire life.

And while Becky had a wide smile on her face, her hands were clutching at the bag over her shoulder and her eyes were darting around the corridor. She was kidding herself that she wasn't nervous. We'd all been in the same boat. And now it was my turn to help her.

'You don't need to be nervous, I promise.' I said, watching her took a look of her curly hair behind her ear. 'Your CV's impeccable and you've got some really strong references. You'll be licensed in three years, maybe even two.'

I saw her let out a sigh. She was clearly attempting to keep her nerves under control. 'You think so?' She asked quietly and I nodded.

'I'm positive. You're going to great. We'll start you doing some small jobs around the hospital, helping with patient paperwork, getting to know the methods that we use and how we work. And you won't have any specific patients of your own, at least at first, but you'll be seeing some of my patients that I've selected that I think would be okay with you taking over their primary care. I'll always be on hand to help with anything.' I explained, as Becky listened intently to everything that I said. 'Does that sound alright?'

In some ways she reminded me of myself: eager to please, enthusiastic, devoted to learning, a bit of a teacher's pet.

'That sounds great.' She said, perking up and smiling. 'Thanks. It's a little bit daunting if I'm honest but...'

'You absolutely have nothing to worry about.' I insisted, shooting her a kind smile. 'Your grades are stellar, all your tutors clearly think the world of you. You wouldn't be here if you couldn't handle it.'

Becky smiled at this, awkwardly playing with her hair. 'Are you from around here?' I asked, picking up that her accent sounded local but I couldn't be wholly sure. And it was a way to make some small talk.

'Yeah. I don't live very far away so I know the area well.'

'Well, I'm not from around here. Originally.' I said, watching her raise an eyebrow. 'Oklahoma.' I explained. 'But it's a really nice hospital, good facilities, the people are all really friendly. I'm sure you're gonna fit right in.'

'I hope so.' Becky laughed, as my eyes caught sight of my next patient stepping out of the elevator. Jodie Ferdinand was on the list of patients that I'd compiled who I knew wouldn't have any objections with Becky watching over our sessions. She waved at me and I smiled back, turning back towards Becky.

'How are you feeling? Ready to start?'  
   
***  
   
By the time 2PM rolled around, it was clear that Becky was a natural. She was clearly nervous but managed to keep all of her nerves under control and she definitely knew what she was talking about so any of the patients that she talked to needed no further encouragement from me to let her sit in on our sessions.

Kelly had also taken a shine to her, saying that there needed to be more girls around the place, and the last time I'd seen them, Kelly had been showing her around the break room and the coffee machine that was in there.

They seemed to be getting on like a house on fire. Which was quite worrying.

Something that hadn't been featured in any of Evan's emails, because they only mentioned anything that was related to Gynecology, was the fact that there were two new surgeons walking around the place who had started today.

After Tomas had been arrested, a couple more surgeons had moved hospitals and after a cycle of temporary surgeons it seemed like the two new doctors, who I was yet to meet, were permanently filling the vacant positions.

I didn't feel like I needed to meet them, though, because I'd heard enough about them from other people. Apparently, their CV's were outstanding and what they'd achieved at such a young age was amazing. I wasn't exactly sure what to make of this, I'd met my share of annoying, young doctors who thought they knew everything in my time, but I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt for now.

I knew I was going to meet them eventually - the main surgery unit was at the opposite end of the corridor - so I was going to try to hold off any opinions until then.

During another lapse in my patients, I found myself in the foyer, wondering where Becky had disappeared to but knowing that wherever Becky was, Kelly had inevitably dragged her there.

Among the bustle of patients and employees, I found Evan leaning over the front desk, checking a couple of details on the computer. He looked up at the clicking of my heels, pushing his glasses up onto his head.

'And the hermit emerges...' He joked and I rolled my eyes, adjusting the waistband of my blue midi skirt and straightening the collar of my white blouse. 'You're supposed to be showing Dr. Griffin around, not hiding from her.'

'Becky is more than capable of looking after herself.' I said firmly, noticing how I easily called her Becky rather than the standardized Dr. Griffin. 'The last time I saw her, Kelly was showing her around the break room.'

It was Evan's turn to roll his eyes: this probably didn't sound particularly reassuring to him. 'Exactly. You need to find her.' I ignored his comment.

'On another note, when are we getting the Christmas decorations up?' I asked. The girls reminded me at several points through the day, every day, as to what day it was and apparently I should have had the decorations up days ago.

Evan shrugged. 'Do I look like I know the answer to that? I don't even know where the decorations are, never mind when they're going up...'

'Good point. You don't look like you know the answer to much, to be fair.' I shot back, watching Evan smirk a little before turning on his heel.

'Find Griffin!' He called as he walked back down the corridor, towards his office.

I crossed my arms and leaned against the desk. The only good thing I could find that had come out of Tomas's actions were that they'd turned Evan into a much nicer, less annoying boss who I could kind of get along with.

'I'm here.' I spun around to see Becky standing in front of me. 'Kelly was showing me around the rest of the floor but then she had to go and do...something...so...' She shrugged and my eyes narrowed slightly. This wasn't the Becky that I'd met this morning. She seemed like a deflated balloon; something had zapped the energy out of her.

'You okay?' I asked, slightly curiously. 'Is there anything I can help you with?'

'Yeah, I'm fine.' Becky shrugged, smiling slightly but it seemed forced compared to the smiles she'd given me this morning. What was going on?

'You look a little worried about something. Can I help?' I said gently, stepping closer and pulling her out of the main stream of traffic coming up and down the corridor. Becky paused for a moment, her eyes flitting to the floor before she sighed.

'Just some stupid comment...' She said, smiling. But I wasn't buying it. Whatever this comment was, it was seriously playing on her mind. I instantly started to worry. This comment had come from someone in this hospital and was therefore my responsibility to sort it out for her.

'Who said it?' I asked and Becky shrugged.

'I don't know. I didn't know them. Kelly hadn't introduced me to them so...'

'What did they say?' Becky started playing with her, twirling one of her curls around her finger. I could hear Aaron speaking in my head: this was her nervous tick, an action that brought comfort when she was feeling anxious or stressed.

'It doesn't matter...'

'Dr. Griffin.' I said firmly, using the voice I used when the girls were misbehaving or I was proving a point to Aimee. It was my Mom voice. The only way I could help Becky, help her to become the enthusiastic, bubbly person I'd met this morning, was to get her to talk to me.

Becky sighed again, muttering something under her breath. I caught the word 'stupid'. 'It's not stupid if it's affecting you like this.' I said warmly. 'Nothing's ever stupid.'

'It's...It's on my admission form that I've got a girlfriend so it's not exactly difficult to find out but...' Becky trailed off and my heart started racing, panic and guilt rushing through me. I'd read her form a hundred times and the fact that this could be an issue had never clicked in my brain.

I'd hoped that it wouldn't, that I worked with enough like-minded people that it wouldn't be. But apparently it had. And that made me want to scream, give Becky a long hug and slap the perpetrator across the face.

'What did they say?' I asked again, gently reaching up to rub her shoulder as she looked up to meet my gaze.

'That I'm...That I'm...too pretty to be, to be...gay.' Becky said slowly and I held her gaze for a moment. I didn't know what to do to make this better. I needed to do something, the anger and guilt slowly building up in my veins.

'Lizzy! I've not seen you much - ' Kelly suddenly appeared in the corridor, having just come down from the surgery wings. The same direction Becky had just come from.

'Who did you walk past?'

'What?' Kelly pulled a face, not knowing where I was going with this.

'When you were walking this way, who did you walk past?' I repeated quickly, knowing that this was the most common time for surgeries to be taking place and that there couldn't be that many people walking the corridors.'

'Oh. The new doctors, I can't remember their names. Sylvie told me before but - '

'I'm going to kill them.' I interrupted, cutting her off.

'I don't want any trouble.' Becky pleaded. But this wasn't the kind of thing I could just blantly ignore. They'd already come after her, whatever I said couldn't make it any worse.

'They can't just waltz in and start treating other people like crap, no matter how good their CV's are.' I said forcefully, Kelly's face clearing as she began to put the pieces together. 'It will be completely justified homicide.'

\- It looks like Lizzy's going to have a word with the new doctors. What do you think is going to happen?


	6. Quinque

By 5:30 PM I was finally done with patients for the day and was tidying up my office, clearing the endless number of patient forms that I seemed to acquire and generally prepping myself for tomorrow. If the traffic was half as bad as it had been today, then I was going to miss tomorrow's briefing too.  
  
I was still yet to meet the two new surgeons and I felt like I was the only person in the entire hospital who was out of the loop. There seemed to be two conflicting opinions: some people really liked them and found them charming and amazingly skilled whereas some people thought there were a bit too self-assured and all round jerks.  
  
I didn't know which camp I wanted to be in - I already didn't like them because of what they'd said to Becky, although she had assured me that it had only been one of them, so if I didn't like them in person then I was going to have a serious vendetta.  
  
But what if I did like them in person? Then I was going to have to persuade myself that they were awful people, because of what they'd said to Becky, despite what my eyes were telling me.  
  
I didn't know why I kept clumping them together. They _were_ two different people.  But as I hadn't met both of them, neither of them had any distinguishing features.  
  
After tidying up, I'd been bribed by Kelly into making her a cup of coffee because she'd been stuck to her chair all afternoon with a stream of patients trying to make appointments before the Christmas holidays.  
  
I passed her the steaming cup of coffee, while Kelly jotted down the latest appointment time before hanging up the phone. 'I've seen them.' She said abruptly and I didn't even have to think - there had been enough chatter around for me to know exactly who she was talking about.  
  
'And?'  
  
'They're both really hot.' Kelly grinned, taking a long sip of coffee and I rolled my eyes. Of course they were. 'Hartner is tall and brooding, very much _your_ type. And Gonzalez is charming and tanned, very much _my_ type.'  
  
Of course Kelly had already divided them up into my type and her type.  
  
'But one of them is a homophobic dick because of what they said to Becky.' I said firmly but before Kelly could reply, the phone rang again.  
  
Speaking of Becky, I hadn't seen her for a while. She'd sat in with my 4:20 PM patient but I hadn't seen her since.  
  
'Becky?' I asked Kelly as she started typing down some details.  
  
'Helping Sylvie.' She answered quickly. I nodded. Sylvie had a much better idea of what she was supposed to be showing Becky than I did and no matter what Evan had said, I knew she was in capable hands at the moment.  
  
So Hartner and Gonzalez were their names. I didn't care if they were good looking or not, that was just another tool they used to get what they wanted from other people.  
  
All I knew was that when I did meet them, I was going to have to be restrained from punching them in the face.  
  
'Right then. I just need to take these forms down to surgery - '  
  
'I'll take them.' I said immediately, trying my best to look innocent. Kelly shot me a sharp look.  
  
'No, I'll do it. You should be getting home - '  
  
'What if the phone rings?' I asked, prying the files from Kelly's hands as she shot me a smug look.  
  
We both knew why I wanted to take the forms. I wanted to meet Hartner and Gonzalez in the flesh. I was kidding anyone, not really.  
  
'Fine. But don't get yourself fired.' I rolled my eyes and started down the corridor, the forms tucked close to my chest. It was true that I wanted to go home. But that would have to wait for a moment. I had other things to deal with.  
  
My eyes snapped onto a figure coming out of one of the surgery rooms who fit with Kelly's description of Hartner: he was tall, taller than me, with dark features. It was true: he _would_ be my type. If he wasn't a homophobe and I wasn't already taken.  
  
'Dr. Hartner?' I hazarded, and he paused down the corridor turning to face me. _Be nice, Lizzy. You can destroy him later._  
  
'Yes?' He had a gruff New York accent and sharp eyes that widened slightly when he saw me. He didn't look particularly friendly.  
  
'I'm Dr. Harmon from Gynecology. It's nice to meet you.' I stepped forwards, holding my hand out and he took it. His grip was firm, his hand cold.  
  
'Right.'  
  
'How's your first day been?' I asked as he started walking down the corridor. I kept in pace with him, his strides long. He might be intimidating with his height and piercing eyes but I wasn't about to let him get away from this.  
  
'Good. The hospital is smaller than what I'm used to, of course.' Oh, _of course_ it was. According to his file, he'd come from the biggest hospital in Virginia and I'd be surprised if they hadn't worshipped him like a god there.  
  
Well that wasn't going to cut it here. Not if I had anything to do with it.  
  
'I heard that you were speaking to Dr. Griffin earlier.' I said lightly, watching his expression. I still didn't know whether it had been him or Gonzalez who had spoken to her and I didn't know exactly where Becky was to ask her.  
  
'I might have done. I've spoken to a lot of people today - ' He shrugged nonchalantly, stepping around a cluster of nurses who followed him with their eyes. Yes, he was insanely attractive but that was until he opened his mouth.  
  
From the way he was talking to me, it looked like he'd rather gouge his own eyes out than continue the conversation. And there was something about the set of his jaw and the way his eyes narrowed on my face that told me he knew exactly what I was talking about.  
  
'Right. So you don't remember telling Dr. Griffin that she was too pretty to be gay?' He abruptly stopped walking, turning to face me, his eyes boring into mine.  
  
'I've no idea what you're talking about, Dr. Harmon.' He said coolly and I raised an eyebrow.  
  
'Really? Because I'm not going to let you go around saying things like that to my colleagues.' Hartner didn't say anything. He simply turned on his heel and started to walk away from me. I folded my arms. He couldn't just ignore me.  
  
'So you're homophobic?'  
  
'No.' He said pointedly, turning around to face me, almost looking smug.  
  
'So Dr. Griffin is lying?' He didn't reply, looking me up and down, his eyes slowly trailing over my body, his smirk growing wider.  
  
I noticed his eyes still around my neck. My crucifix necklace had come untucked from my blouse. I quickly adjusted the fabric, hiding it, and I felt my stomach clench. 'What's that?' He asked.  
  
'None of your business.' I replied firmly.  
  
He murmured something quietly, the words ringing out clearly in the empty corridor. Bible basher.  
  
'Excuse me?' I exclaimed, stepping forwards. He couldn't be serious. Had he really just said that?  
  
'You're a Southerner.' He said, as though that was obvious and suddenly clarified everything. I wanted to hit him.  
  
'What does that have to do with _anything_?'  
  
He shrugged again, in the nonchalant, casual way of his that made me want to strangle him. 'They're all Bible bashers.'  
  
'So you're a homophobic bigot? Brilliant...' Hartner turned on his heel without replying and walked through the double doors at the end of the corridor.  
  
His smug smile was going to be engraved in my brain for the rest of humanity, I knew it.  
  
I didn't know whether to cry or punch him or immediately go and report him. His words were still swirling around my head. I'd never had someone call me a Bible basher before which I suppose was surprising seeing as I had come from a very religious background.  
  
If Gonzalez was the same, then I didn't know how I was going to cope. How was Becky going to cope? And Evan? Oh crap, I'd completely forgotten about Evan.  
  
While he hadn't explicitly said anything, he'd made some subtle hints and hadn't refuted any of the rumours. From this, I'd gathered that he wasn't exactly confident around his sexuality - and now they was one, possibly two, homophobes walking around the hospital ready to call him out on it.  
  
And to think that I'd been excited about going to deliver these forms.

 

  
***

 

I woke astonishingly early the next morning, my room still dark as I peeled my eyes open. I'd had a fitful night of sleep, Hartner's words still consuming my brain and I'd thought of little else.

How was I going to deal with this? How could I stop him from being such a smug and arrogant idiot?

My cell buzzed on the nightstand next to me and I grudgingly rolled over, reaching for it and blinking back against the light. I had 5 messages from Penelope, the latest having come in only seconds ago.

**Hotch is gonna be pretty busy for the next few days.**

**A body's been found at the bottom a fire escape.**

**Gunshot to the head. Cops are calling it a suicide but the guy's aren't so sure.**

**Was wearing a wristband from a gay nightclub.**

**Was hoping to come and see you and the girls soon but it looks like I'll have to change my plans :(**

If I needed a cherry on top of my already terrible cake, this was it.

 

 


	7. Sex

In the days leading up to Christmas, I usually found that the time would fly by in an instant. It would seem that one moment ago it was the 1st, with all the anticipation of the month resting on its shoulders, and in another second it was already New Year, the festivities completed and the promise of a New Year looming.

There was always the exception to the rule, though. And it seemed that the exception to this particular rule happened to be this Christmas.

My 6 hour shift had dragged in ways that it had never done before and the only example I could think to compare it to were the calculus classes that I'd endured back in High School.

Hartner and Gonzalez were changing the dynamic of St. Addisons and it certainly wasn't for the better. They'd begun to divide the staff into two camps: those who liked them and those who didn't. Or rather, those who they would act civil towards and those who they would discriminate against.

I was firmly of the mindset that they were both idiots and made it my mission to have as little to do with them as possible. But Hartner's stinging comments still rang in my ears whenever I got a break. I'd noticed that Becky had become a little more reserved and while Evan hadn't said anything outright, I felt certain that he too was one of their victims.

I'd had no calls of 'Harmon!' from down the corridor, none of our daily bantering with each other. Of course, he could just be snowed under with paperwork in an attempt to get it all completed before Christmas but the fact that I'd barely seen him in 48 hours didn't go un-noticed by me.

Saying all this, I still hadn't witnessed anything directly or heard anything about Gonzalez. But seeing how close he seemed to Hartner and how I often saw them chatting together, I could only assume he shared the same beliefs.

After what felt like a 12 hour shift, I was finally stood outside of the school gates. I presumed that Jack was coming over for tea and I hadn't even confirmed it with Aaron because I knew that he would be.

Judging from Penelope's texts and the rather frantic phone call we'd had last night, Aaron had enough on his plate trying to convince the cops that the dead man hadn't committed suicide and that there was actually something more sinister going on, as everyone at the BAU predicted.

'Mom!' Lola and Jack were hurrying out of the school gates, wide smiles on their faces while Lexi ran alongside them. It was times like this when I could ignore the dismal atmosphere at work and just feel content.

'You guys had a nice day?' I asked, ruffling Lola's hair as they swarmed around me. I took Lexi and Jack's lunchboxes and led them over to where I'd parked the car.

'Yep. We're making Christmas cookies tomorrow.' Lola said as they all piled into the car.

'And Christmas decorations!' Lexi added and I instantly smirked.

'Is that a hint at something?' I asked, looking intently at her. She shook her head, a small smile creeping onto her face. 'Are you sure?' She let out a giggle as I checked her seat belt, shut the car doors and climbed into the front seat.

Everything was quiet for a moment. No one spoke. I rolled my eyes.

'Okay, okay, we can put the tree up when we get home.' Cheering filled the car and I rolled my eyes again as I slowly drove away from the school and towards home. 'Only after tea though. Is that a deal?'

'Yes!' Lola instantly started chatting about how much tinsel we had and how she and Lexi had their own specific ornaments that they put on the tree, with Jack joining in with his own specific Christmas traditions.

'Are you alright, Jack?' I called, turning to look at him as I paused at some traffic lights.

'Yeah. I thought you'd be picking me up because Dad's busy at work.'

'Yeah, he's really busy at the moment.' I agreed, thinking back to how stressed Penelope had said the whole team was last night.

'Does he work at Christmas?' Lola asked.

'He tries really hard not to. He hasn't for the last few years.'

'I'm sure he does. I'm glad I don't have to work at Christmas.' I replied, truthfully. I was never required to work on any bank holidays because Gynecology wasn't an emergency department.

'I get a letter too, Mommy.' Lexi said as I turned the corner leading into our street. 'It's in a fancy envelope.'

'I'll look at it when we get in, okay sweetie?' I said, racking my brains for what could be in the letter. I didn't have any payments to make for any school trips and there were no events coming up that I could think of. And why was the letter in an envelope?

'Have you got any homework that needs doing? Jack, have you got any that you want to get out the way?'

'I don't think so.' He answered, rummaging through his school bag. 'No, nothing.'

'What about you, Lex?' I asked.

'Nothing.' She replied.

'Are you sure?' I pressed. She had a constant habit of forgetting that she even had homework, never mind doing it. And forcing her to keep her mind occupied on one singular thing for 10 minutes had always been a struggle for her too.

'Yep.' I made a mental note to double check her bag when we got inside, just to make sure.

'What's for tea, Mom?' Lola asked as I pulled up in front of our house.

'Is mac and cheese alright?' I asked, thinking that it might warm everyone up a little. The air was definitely beginning to get colder and the days longer. It was practically pitch black at 7pm yesterday.

'Yay!' Another cheer erupted in the backseat and I smiled, grabbing my bag as well as Lexi and Jack's lunchboxes and clambering out of the car.

I opened the door, helping Lexi jump out and watching Lola and Jack run up to the front door. Locking the car behind me and following them, I was stopped by Lola who was smiling up at me.

'Remember, we're doing the Christmas tree.' She reminded me and I rolled my eyes, unlocking the door and ushering them inside.

'I know, I've got it.' I thought that I was probably more excited than they were to put the decorations up because I loved the warm, welcoming atmosphere that they created.

Although I wasn't quite sure how I was going to get the tree down from the attic. All of the other decorations were stored in easily transportable bags but the tree was in a box that was almost as tall as me. Last year, I'd dragged Joe into helping me but he was currently working, as was Aimee and Dad and Mom had gone out for afternoon tea with a friend.

Okay, maybe the tree would have to wait till the weekend...

Or maybe I could get Aaron to help me, if he managed to get out of work at a sane hour? He could probably use something to cheer him up. And I was sure that tinsel and gold stars would do just the trick.  
   
***  
   
'Tea's ready!' I called, placing the four bowls of steaming mac and cheese onto the table. As per usual, I made too much so I had spooned some into a tub meaning that Aaron could take some home if he wanted.

The kids came running to the table, and quickly sat down and started eating while still talking about the game they'd just been playing. As I swallowed the first warm, cheesy mouthful, I reached for the letter that I'd retrieved for Lexi's bag. I honestly had no idea what it could be about and was rather intrigued.

The letter was indeed in a fancy envelope like Lexi had said. I tore it open, throwing the envelope into the recycling and quickly skimming the letter.

The letter was from Lexi's class teacher, Mrs. Carter, and wasn't one that was simply photocopied and handed out to the entire class. It was personalised. She wanted to see me whenever it was convenient to have a talk about Lexi. That was all information she gave me.

'Lex? Has anything happened at school recently?' Lexi was halfway through a mouthful of mac and cheese so just shook her head. Lola and Jack's conversation fizzled out as they look to me.

'Why? What does it say?' Lola enquired and I narrowed my eyes, reading the letter again. What could she possibly want to see me about?

'Mrs. Carter just wants a word with me.' I said, still puzzled.

'About what?' Lexi mumbled, suddenly looking anxious and I plastered a smile onto my face.

'I don't know but I'm sure it's nothing, doodlebug.' I promised. 'You won't be in trouble, I'm sure.'

While Lexi was a very excitable and lively child, she certainly wasn't naughty. And while she had to be pushed to do homework most of the time and her sleeping schedule wasn't something to be admired, she was by no means a troublemaker...  
Really...

So what the hell did Mrs. Carter want?

I recognized the silence that was still lingering in the room and I placed the letter back onto the counter. Out of sight, out of mind right?

'Come on.' I ushered, smiling over at each of them. 'I thought someone wanted to put up some Christmas decorations.'

The kids all cheered and hurriedly turned back to their food. I was still perplexed, though. I'd never received a letter like this concerning one of my children and I had absolutely no idea what to make of it or what to think.

I'd have to see if I had any breaks in my schedule tomorrow where I could go and see Mrs. Carter because I wasn't sure that my curiousity would be able to last another week.  
   
***

'Right, come on team! Let's get these decorations up!' I'd put all the bowls and cutlery in the dishwasher and put it off for long enough. The kids were also beginning to grow restless and to be perfectly honest, I was eager to fully emerge myself in the festivities.

'Can we put some Christmas music on, Mom?' Lola asked excitedly, as they all jumped up from the sofa.

'Sure! Any requests?' I asked, syncing my phone up to the speakers that sat in the corner of the room.

'The one Auntie Aimee always sings.' Lexi said, grinning. If she'd been worried before about what Miss Carter wanted to see me about she'd forgotten it now and I was thrilled.

'Oh, okay.' I said, knowing exactly which one she meant and a minute later 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' was filling the room.

The putting up of the Christmas decorations was rather like a military operation. Everything was organized and planned and it was sad really how much I, a grown adult woman, enjoyed putting up the Christmas decorations. If anything showed how much of a secret 5 year old I was, this was it.

The tree was kept in the loft, purely because the loft wasn't actually very big and the rest of the decorations probably wouldn't be able to fit in there as well as several other boxes of stuff I stored up there. I kept the rest of the decorations in the smallest of the spare rooms because it was the one that was used the least.

'Right, okay. How about we leave the tree to the end - ' Lola and Lexi immediately started moaning and winging about how the tree was their favourite bit. 'Well, we're going to have to leave it to the end because I can't get it out the loft on my own without breaking my back.' I said firmly.

'We can help!' Lola said and I sighed.

'Let's just leave it, Loles. It's a bit heavy. I'll ask Aaron to help me when he gets here, okay?'

'Okay.' I'd taken to calling him Aaron rather than Jack's dad lately and while it had felt a bit strange at first, it was probably better in the long run.

'There's loads of things that we can put up in the meantime!' I said and I saw Lola smile a little. 'Let's start in the living room so we don't get ahead of ourselves.'

'The light-up snowman!' Lola gasped with excitement, grinning, and I nodded.

'What I need you guys to do is very carefully get all the picture frames - ' I said, gesturing around the room to almost every surface where a photo frame was placed, 'And to put them gently on the sofa, okay? Can you do that?'

They all nodded and they quickly set off, gathering all of the photo frames into a pile. I hurried up the stairs and into the smallest spare room, taking hold of the bag that had LIVING ROOM written on it in marker pen and returned to see all of the photo frames lying on the couch.

'Right then, let's get going!'  
   
***  
   
In the next hour and a bit, we managed to put up all of the decorations, save for the tree. We'd danced to Christmas songs, laughed at all of my various Christmas decorations - some of them were quite old - and now the kids were snuggled up on the sofa drinking hot chocolate and watching a cartoon.

A large multi-colored bauble wreath was hung on the front door. The light-up snowman was smiling in the corner of the living room. Strings of tinsel and bunting decorated with glimmering starts were hung above every doorway and weaved between the posts of the stairs. Miniature Christmas trees, sparkling with fairy lights, were positioned on the floor in the hallway and on the dining table.

On every surface tucked next to the photo frames that had all been replaced was a glittering reindeer or snowman. The Christmas scented candles had been uncovered and even the cushions on the sofa had been replaced with ones printed with stars and angels and furry reindeer.

This was one of the reasons that I adored Christmas, regardless of anything else. It was the feeling of warmth and safety and happiness that descended when the fairy lights were sparkling and the comforting scent of cinnamon filled the room. Everything felt happy and safe, despite whatever else might be going on in the world.

Despite that a man had recently been killed but had covered it up as a suicide. Not that anyone really knew that. The media hadn't got word of anything yet, mainly because the cops didn't think a crime had even been committed.

At 6:15pm, which was surprisingly early, Aaron arrived for Jack. As soon as I opened the door I could see the dark bags under his eyes and the deep, tired lines that ran through his face. Even though he acted as though nothing was off - he kissed me on the cheek as he entered and ruffled Jack's hair as soon as he latched himself onto his leg and asked how his day had been and how amazing everything looked - he was missing the sparkle in his eyes.

'Is everything alright?' I asked carefully, as the kids ran back to watch the cartoon. Aaron shrugged, the exhaustion clear in his body.

'The cops are still convinced there's nothing going on so we're still not on the case. There's now not much we can actually do. We can't look at the body, because we don't have jurisdiction. We can't go and look at the crime scene because we don't have jurisdiction.' He sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

'I'm so sorry.' I said and he let out a harsh breath.

'We'll keep pushing.' He said confidently but I guessed he didn't feel that confidence inside. I hated seeing him look so miserable and deflated.

'We need your help to put the Christmas tree up!' Lexi asked bluntly and I rolled my eyes.

'Well no, we don't need your help to get it up. But I was hoping you might just help me get it down. The box is almost the size of me and if I do it on my own, I'll break something. Either my back or the floor.' I rambled and Aaron nodded, smiling a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

'Sure, I'll help.' He said and I grinned.

By the time he left my house, he was going to be so full of festive cheer that he'd practically have tinsel growing out of his ears. I was going to make sure of it.  
   
***  
   
'You can just put it down over there,' I said, pointing to the corner of the room. Aaron nodded and after a few more plodding steps, carefully put the box down. It had been much easier to get out of the loft with Aaron's help and Jack had now convinced him to stay until we'd fully decorated it.

I'd also promised Aaron mac and cheese and hot chocolate although I knew that it was Jack's wishes rather than my cooking that was keeping him here.

Despite my best efforts to be as lighthearted as possible, Aaron's smile still wasn't reaching his eyes. And as he helped me take the various parts out of the box and start to assemble it, I was racking my brains of things I could try to cheer him up.

Lola and Lexi, along with Jack, had been upstairs for the last ten minutes decorating their rooms with the leftover tinsel and assorted decorations. And while I knew there was nothing they could actually do to hurt themselves, I was beginning to get a bit worried.

'I'm just going to go and check on the kids for a minute.' I said, as we finished assembling the tree. 'See what they're up to.'

'Sure. Do you want me to start untangling these lights?' He asked, gesturing to the box of golden fairy lights that circumnavigated the tree every year.

'That would be great, thanks.' I said with a smile, dashing up the stairs to see what they were up to.

I'd also discovered that it probably hadn't been a very good idea to be handling extremely glittery Christmas decorations while still wearing my black pencil dress because it was now coated in multi-colored glitter. I could pass as a Christmas decoration now.

'How's it going in there?' I asked, knocking on the door before stepping inside Lola's room. Strings of red and silver tinsel had been draped across the back of her dresser and the windowsills of both her windows. There was also a small red and gold mini Christmas tree twinkling on top of her bookcase alongside a family of glittering reindeers.

'You've done a great job,' I applauded them, as Lola finished adjusting the tinsel. 'Do you want to come and help with the tree now?'

'The tree's up?' exclaimed Lexi and I nodded, descending back down the stairs as the kids followed me. The festive tunes were still floating around the house although I was sure we'd reached the end of the playlist a while ago and the songs were now just repeating themselves.

'How's it going in - ' My words died in my throat. I didn't know what had happened because he'd been perfectly fine when I left him but -

But now Aaron had somehow managed to get completely tangled up in the Christmas lights which were also tangled around the tree, meaning that he was pretty stuck. The lights were wrapped around his hands and his arms and his shoulders and it would have been rather comical if he didn't look so annoyed.

'What happened?' I exclaimed as the kids ran into the room and started giggling. 'Okay, it's not that funny.' I said, thinking it actually was that funny but Aaron's mood probably wouldn't improve if we just stood there laughing at him.

'I don't know!' He shouted frustratedly as I started to try and untangle him. 'One minute I was trying to untangle them and the next I was...here.'

I gave him a good natured smile. 'So, you can tackle serial killings and arsonists and manipulative, devious psychopaths. But d'you know what does Aaron Hotchner in?' I had managed to free his right arm and he was now rolling his eyes at me, a small smile on his face as I whispered, 'Christmas lights.'

'It's not funny.' He said determinedly, as I finally freed him from his bindings.

'They think it's funny.' I said, gesturing to Lola, Lexi and Jack who were still giggling.

'What did you do, Dad?' Jack asked, stood completely still and looking as confused as I was.

'I don't know, do I?' And even though I never would have thought of it, it seemed that getting tangled in fairy lights had brought the sparkle back into his eyes.

Bingo.  
   
***  
   
We spent the next half an hour decorating the tree with the assortment of decorations that I owned: glimmering white and silver baubles, sparkling reindeers, snow men, ballerinas, angels and nutcrackers and the simple paper decorations that Lola and Lexi had created in kindergarten that I didn't have the heart to throw away.

And with each one we placed on the tree, Lola or Lexi would spout another interesting story concerning it - how it had originally belonged to a distant relative or had been knitted by my Mom or had been bought by me on vacation in Maine. And every story brought a chuckle or a grin out of Aaron and by the time we'd completely covered the tree, he seemed lighter and happier.

'There's just one thing left.' I said, picking up the sparkling golden star that always graced the top of my Christmas tree. 'Who's putting it on?' We worked on a rigid rotating system - one year I would do it, the next Lola, the next Lexi and so on.

But this year we had two other pairs of hands to consider.

Lola and Lexi both started shouting at the same time, pleading and begging me to give it to them but I just held it teasingly in my hands.

'I was thinking we should let out guest do it.' I said, smiling over at Jack and holding the star out to him. 'Do you want to put it on?'

'Can I, Dad?' He asked excitedly, turning around to face Aaron who was smiling.

'Well, if Lizzy says that it's alright then sure. But I think you might need a boost.'

Clutching the gold star in his fist, Aaron lifted Jack up so that he could place the star at the top of the tree. As soon as he did, Lola and Lexi started cheering and I was clapping.

'I think it's the best tree that we've ever had.' I commented as Aaron placed Jack back down on the ground. 'So a big thank you to our helpers for helping us out.' Jack bowed as though he was accepting a round of applause at the theater and Aaron smirked at me.

'We should probably get going buddy, it's getting dark.' Aaron said. And it was. I hadn't realised but the sky was quickly turning dark.

'What about the outside lights?' Lexi pressed. We had a few simple outside lights that I hung across the front of the house but there was no way I was doing that when it was dark out.

'I'll put those up at the weekend, okay?' I said as Jack pulled on his shoes and his coat. Lexi nodded and ran off with Lola to say their goodbyes.

'Outside lights?' Aaron pressed.

'Yeah, we have a few lights that we put up every year. It's not much and they're easy. I'll be fine.' Aaron nodded.

'If you need any help, you know you can call me.' I nodded, suddenly remembering Aaron's mac and cheese and his hot chocolate which I poured into a flask to keep it warm. He grinned as I passed them to him, kissing me on the cheek. 'And I'll return these when I'm done.'

'Sure thing.' I was so happy that he appeared back to his old self, back with the twinkle in his eyes that I'd come to recognize.

'What's this?' He asked suddenly and I looked up to see him gesturing to the letter I'd received off Mrs. Carter.

'Lexi's teacher wants to see me. I don't know what for but she does.' Aaron looked as puzzled as I had felt as Jack came running over to him. 'I guess I'll find out whenever I go and see her. Which will probably be next Thursday.'

'Intriguing,' he mused, as Jack took his free hand. 'You ready to go buddy?' Jack nodded and I ruffled his hair.

'He's been as good as gold, as per usual.' I said grinning.

'Good to hear.' Aaron said smiling as I opened the door. Aaron pressed a brief kiss to my lips as he passed, sending my nerves into overdrive, as Lola and Lexi started shouting their goodbyes.

'I hope tomorrow is better.' I muttered and Aaron nodded.

'Me too. Oh, and Lizzy?' I paused before I went back inside, the air biting my skin so much that I craved the warmth of a blanket.

'Yeah?'

'Thanks.' He said, his eyes twinkling and I felt my cheeks heat up. Whether he subconsciously knew that I'd been trying to cheer him up or whether that was his profiler instinct I didn't know. I was just glad that I had.

'You've nothing to thank me for.' I replied, as Aaron and Jack made their way down the path.

\- Thanks for reading guys! Thoughts?


	8. Septem

I neatly tied the red ribbon into a bow, peeling the scraps of sticky tape from my fingers. My bedroom had been transformed into Santa's grotto and every available surface was covered in wrapping paper and ribbon and gift tags and glitter.

It was organized chaos. At least, in my head it was.

I'd invited Kelly over for dinner, partly because I wanted to see her but also so that she could play with the girls while I wrapped presents. I had a good system.

I basically had Christmas present buying down to a fine art - I knew the best stores to go to, the best times to go to avoid the crowds. I'd used my knowledge again this year, only this year I'd had a couple of extra presents to buy - Aaron, Jack and the rest of the BAU team because I couldn't leave them out, not when I'd become friends with them all.

I'd received a brief text from Aaron this morning explaining that he couldn't make our lunch appointment and he was sorry. That was all the contact I'd had with him since Thursday evening and it was now Sunday afternoon.

From Penelope I'd learned that they'd finally been able to convince the cops that the man's death hadn't been a suicide and was actually homicide, so now had to play catch-up in collecting evidence the cops had missed and trying to build a profile. There was no time for lunch dates.

It also didn't help that two more bodies had been found in similar locations across the city.

But I still had no idea as to the intricacies of the case. All I knew was that all three men looked to have frequented gay nightclubs. And that left me feeling slightly sick.

Now that the FBI were involved, the story had quickly been picked up by the press and was all over the news. It seemed that on every news channel there were different ideas as to what was happening and who could be responsible. I had no idea as to what was the truth.

All I did know was that panic was quickly rising within the city. Mom had practically banned Joe from leaving the house in case he was the next target. He kept teasing her by reminding her that he was in fact bi, not gay, but no one seemed to find it very funny.

I had only spoken to Mom once since the news had hit the press and from the sound of things, she was getting annoyed that Joe wasn't taking the threat more seriously. And Joe was getting annoyed that she was trapping him inside the house when he was a grown adult.

Tensions were high and consequently, Aimee spent most nights working overtime at the café. I felt sorry for her.

The door suddenly swung open and I dived to cover the stack of presents next to me as Kelly casually leaned against the door frame, her hair piled up on top of her head and her green jumper covered with stickers. I didn't want to think what the girls had been doing to her.

'How's it going?' She grinned and I glared at her, trying to shift my body into a more comfortable position while still hiding her presents. I hadn't been planning her gifts for the last six months for the surprise to be ruined now.

'Close your eyes!' I demanded, watching as Kelly raised a hand to cover her eyes and smirked.

'It looks like Santa's favorite elf has been busy this year.' She joked while I hurriedly tried to hide Kelly's presents under the reams of wrapping paper that layered the floor. 'What have you got me?'

'You know that I'm not going to tell you.' I said, pushing some hair from my face. I'd forgotten how sweaty I could get by simply wrapping presents. 'Okay, you can look.'

'You'd think you were hiding government secrets or something.' She smirked, folding her arms. 'Although I suppose that's never an impossible possibility - '

'I usually have everything wrapped by now.' I said by way of explanation, stretching my legs out in front of me and wiggling my toes. I'd been sat in the same position for three hours and they were beginning to cramp up. 'But I'm a bit behind this year.'

'It's the 8th!' Kelly shrieked, raising both her eyebrows and I smiled. 'The 8th! I haven't even bought everything yet! I haven't even bought anything yet!'

I shook my head, my palms sweating at the thought. 'No, that would stress me out. And besides, I've got a massive family. You only have to buy, like, 5 sets of presents...'

'I'll watch the girls for a bit longer, then.' Kelly said, pushing away from the doorframe. 'It seems like the safety of the free world depends on these presents getting wrapped so...'

'Thanks.' I said, rolling my eyes but smiling. Kelly never objected or complained to any of the chaos that I dragged her into. Her help was invaluable.

'I think we're going to go and make a blanket fort in the living room.'

'You're a star!' I called as she slid out of the room, selecting the wrapping paper I wanted to use on Joe's present.

'I know!' She called back. 'Do I get a reward?' Her head popped back around the door and she winked at me.

'Yes, I'm making your dinner.' I said without looking up.

'Not even a little peek?'

'No!' I shouted, raising an eyebrow at her. What even constituted as a little peek? Once she'd seen her presents, she'd seen them and that was the end of it. 'Now go away and build your blanket fort. And don't destroy my living room! Or no presents!'  
***  
Two hours later, after continuous wrapping, I was coming to the end. I still had a couple more bits that I needed to buy, and consequently wrap, but I was pretty much done.

That was more than could be said for Kelly. But then she did only have a handful to buy.

'Tea's ready!' I shouted, carefully ladling out the soup that I'd made into bowls. The girls came running to the table, followed more slowly by Kelly. Half her hair had escaped from her ponytail and was trailing down her back. She had specks of mascara around her eyes and her lip gloss was smudged.

She heavily sighed as she dropped into the empty seat next to Lola and I shot her a smile. Playing with the girls was the only workout she needed.

'You need to keep your energy up.' I joked, passing her a spoon. 'Didn't you challenge them to a dance off later?' Kelly groaned loudly and Lola and Lexi immediately started giggling.

'I shouldn't be held accountable for what I say when I'm being attacked by the tickle monster.' Kelly said sharply, giving Lexi a hard look, who instantly started giggling harder.

I set myself down into the seat next to Lexi and started on my soup. It was just what I needed on a cold Sunday evening. But, of course, some people were never satisfied.

'Why is it tomato soup and not chicken soup?' Lexi asked, reaching for a chunk of bread from the middle of the table.

'Because tomato soup is Auntie Kelly's favorite.'

'Tomato is stupid.' Lexi deadpanned and I chuckled, watching Kelly roll her eyes.

'You wound me, young bean.' Kelly replied as I watched Lola's eyes suddenly grow wide as she stared out of the window.

'It's snowing,' She breathed as if the words themselves were magical. Lexi spun around to look out the window too and I saw Kelly shoot me an amused look.

'No, it's not.' I said frantically, knowing there was no way the girls were going to sit down and eat properly now.

'YES IT IS!' Lexi cheered excitedly, pointing at the white flecks of snow that were falling quickly from the dark sky, 'CAN WE GO OUTSIDE?'

'When you've eaten your soup...'

'NO! NOW!' She shouted, slamming her little fists down on the table and frowning at me. It made her blue eyes look even bigger, almost to the point were they consumed her entire face. It was adorable and the weapon that she used against me any time that she wanted to do something.

I'd had to learn to become immune to it. That, and her tumbling blonde curly hair.

'No, when you've eaten.' I repeated, more firmly this time, looking her sternly in the eyes. 'The snow will still be there if you hurry up - '

I wish I hadn't spoken because the second the words left my mouth, the girls started shoveling the soup into their mouths as though they'd never eaten food before.

Lola was definitely going to have indigestion later. I gave it an hour.  
   
***  
I breathed in the rich aroma, letting the warmth seep through the mug and into my hands. Next to me, Kelly was breathing in the scent of her coffee as we watched the girls stomp around in the snow. A blanket was slung over our shoulders, the bite of the cold stinging my face. I tugged the cuffs of my jumper down; the cold was still managing to sink into my skin.

'It's sad, isn't it?' Kelly said, folding her legs under her. We were perched on the top step of the porch, watching the flecks of snow still fall. It looked like it was going to stick. 'How people are being killed at Christmas. I mean, it's sad at any time but - '

I nodded, gazing down into my mug. It was less than 3 months ago that Tomas had gone on a killing rampage and here it was happening again, innocent people being killed for no reason at all.

'When was the last time you spoke to Aaron?' She asked, looking over at me.

'Thursday.'

'Why? Have you called him?'

'He's very busy at the moment.' I said firmly. He was. I saw Kelly roll her eyes.

'You can't use that as an excuse. He's in the FBI! He's going to be busy a lot of the time and if you keep saying that then you'll only speak to him once a week for the rest of eternity and is that really the kind of relationship you want?'

She was right, obviously. I knew that. But every time I went to pick up the phone, I'd feel guilty that I was pulling him away from his work, the work that was so obviously important.

That was ridiculous. He was my boyfriend. I could speak to him whenever I wanted.

I still hadn't called him since seeing him on Thursday.

'You'll never get any action then.' I gave her a sharp look. 'Or have you somehow managed to sleep with him via text?' I rolled my eyes, taking a long gulp of hot chocolate as Lola started to show Lexi how to make a snowball.

'I'll call him later.' I said. I would.

'Call him now!' Kelly said, seizing my phone from where it sat in my lap and handing it to me. I rolled my eyes, carefully setting my mug down next to me.

She was right. I needed to stop being such a coward and just call him.

'What if he's busy?' I said, clicking onto his number and holding my phone to my ear. Kelly sighed looking exasperatedly.

'If he's too busy for you, then he'll have me to deal with.' She said with a grin, as I heard the dial tone on the other end. My stomach was doing backflips. It switched over to answerphone.

I shot Kelly a look, feeling a slight pang of disappointment that I didn't get to hear his voice. But that was my fault. I was the one who hadn't rung him earlier.  
   
'Hey Aaron, it's me.' I said slowly, my mind whirring. What did I say? 'I - I hope you're not working too hard. Can you call me when you've got a free moment? Or I'll call you or, whatever. Stay safe and tell Jack there are Christmas cookies for Thursday. He told me he liked them so...Alright, bye...'

'Have you ever left a message before?' Kelly joked as I dropped my phone back into my lap.

'I didn't know what to say,' I shrugged. It was hard to condense everything that I wanted to say to him, every thought that I'd had over the last week, into a 30 second slot.

'It's better than nothing, I suppose.' Kelly said and I nodded. I'd try again tomorrow. But tomorrow was Monday. Surely he'd be busier tomorrow than he had been at the weekend? Although going from his recent schedule, that wasn't true.

I took another gulp of hot chocolate, staring down at the now blank screen of my cell. It was being so clingy. I needed to calm down a bit. I needed -

I suppressed a scream as a lump of ice suddenly slammed into my neck, sending shockwaves down my spine. I looked up to see Lola staring at me, her gloved hands covered in snow, while Lexi tried to contain her giggles.

Kelly was chuckling next to me, trying to hide her laugher behind her mug of coffee. Oh, okay. So that's how it was going to be, huh?

'I'm gonna get you for that.' I said bluntly, placing my mug down next to me and springing to my feet. Lexi started shouting for Lola to run as she ducked behind a tree.

Snow might be a pain because it was cold and made your clothes soggy but it sure was fun to throw at other people.

\- Thoughts? It looks like some problems are starting to develop for Lizzy!


	9. Octo

Monday mainly consisted of me being caught between ultimatums: avoiding Hartner and Gonzalez as much as humanly possible and confronting them whenever I heard their names mentioned.

Terzaki seemed to be oblivious to what the staff were whispering about - it was either that or he was choosing to ignore it and just getting on with his work. Which, I suppose, I should have been doing as well.

This was hard, though, especially when there were two bigots walking around.

I had a lot on my mind at the moment.

Aaron hadn't replied to my message, nor had he texted me back. And despite what I'd said last night and the fact that I knew he was busy and he wasn't doing it deliberately, it was affecting me more than I liked to admit.

Was this what it was always going to be like? Would I constantly have to compete with a case for his attention?

That was cruel and harsh. I hated myself for thinking it.

I'd found some small ways to distract myself, the main way being the work that I was actually supposed to be doing. I'd had a handful of new patients added to my patient list, women who'd recently moved states or hospitals.

I never expected to know any of my patients on a personal level. I didn't see any of my direct friends or family, it was a conflict of interest.

And that was why I'd been so shocked when Natasha had walked through me door. Of course, she wasn't Natasha Caulfield anymore, she was Natasha Westfield since she'd re-married a couple of months ago. I hadn't seen her for 6 months and if I was perfectly honest, I'd never expected to see her ever again.

But she'd walked calmly into my office, her eyes firmly fixed on me, and had sat down. It had been the most awkward 15 minutes of my entire life.

Meeting your ex-boyfriend's ex-wife was never an enjoyable experience, never mind if I then had to discuss some of the most intimate parts of her personal life.

I was pretty sure my palms had been sweating throughout our conversation.

It wasn't that I had anything against Natasha because she was really lovely. She was an elementary school teacher, she was kind and funny, she was eager to have children with her new husband and I couldn't say a bad word about her.

It was the elephant in the room that had been scaring me, that had been glaring down on the both of us as I'd asked her some questions and filled in the paperwork.

My messy break-up and our tumultuous relationship wasn't something that I particularly liked to dwell on.

But I'd managed to get through our discussion and the rest of my patients for the day and was almost ready to leave. The days seemed to drag on now that it was getting darker earlier and the fact that the sun had disappeared by the time I left the hospital was jarring.

I halted by the front desk, swinging my bag over my shoulder. Kelly was sorting something out in the break room before making her way home, Sylvie and Becky had already left. But there was something preventing me from leaving, something else niggling away in the back of my mind.

I hadn't seen Evan at all today. And while I'd normally brush straight past this, I couldn't do that today.

His office was only down the corridor. It wouldn't take more than a minute. I could him a patient's forms for him to look over while I was there.

I knocked on the door leading to his office, hearing a muffled 'come in' from the other side. I pushed open the heavy glass door, noticing how his office was pretty much twice the size of mine, the walls painted a bright blue in contrast to my magnolia.

Evan was sat behind his desk. He looked exactly the same as he had the last time I'd seen him. Of course he did. Why had I expected anything different?

At least he looked roughly the same. His hair was slightly more ruffled than it usually was and his glasses had practically slid off his face but he hadn't seemed to notice. He barely looked up when I entered, only catching my eye when the door shut behind me.

'I've got Maxine Stanton's pre-op report for Thursday.' I said, passing him the form. He was probably being snowed under with work, that tended to happen in the weeks running up to Christmas and would explain why he was looking so disheveled.

'Thanks.' He said, not looking up from his computer, taking the file from my hand and adding it to a large pile next to him.

'You okay?' I asked, adjusting the strap of my bag which was digging into my shoulder. 'I didn't see you today.'

'I'm trying to get everything up to date.' He said blankly. 'Terzaki's got me doing a load of reports as a 'favour' for him. He's completely changed Coren's filing system and - '

'I thought we hated Coren's filing system?' I interrupted. We'd always commented on how we ended up doing more paperwork and filling out more forms than we ever needed to when Coren was around. Evan shrugged.

'I'm just really busy, right now.' This sounded believable enough but for Evan, even the new Evan, spending so much time on paperwork wasn't something that I'd ever seen before.

'You sure you're fine?'

'Yes. Have a good evening.' I would have replied, would have told him that if he was having problems he could tell me, if my phone hadn't suddenly buzzed. It was a text from Penelope. I automatically assumed the worst, since the only contact we'd had over the last few days was her giving me updates into the case.

Can you come to the BAU? Now? Need to ask u something 

I said a hasty farewell to Evan before quickly leaving his office and making my way down the corridor towards the elevator. What did she want? Was this something personal? Or something to do with the case? And why couldn't she just ring me or tell me over text? Why did it have to be in person?

I knew I was panicking but I couldn't help it. I didn't know anything and my mind was going to the worst place.

Sure, I'm on my way  
   
***  
'Is everything alright? That text was rather cryptic - ' I burst into the meeting room, to find only Penelope sat at the table. Her blonde hair was tied up in pigtails, a fluffy pink pen in her hand.

I'd been thinking of every single possibility on the drive over and I was yet to come up with something that seemed plausible. I was utterly confused.

'The guys told me to call you in. They need your help with something - '

'What?' This was not what I had expected. A group of FBI agents needed my help? What was happening?

'I don't know. They shouldn't be a minute, they're just sorting something.'

I turned at the sound of footsteps, seeing Aaron walking purposefully down the corridor. I hadn't seen him since Thursday, so even this, with his FBI badge clipped to his belt wearing a suit and a group of profilers behind him was something.

I was always on board for seeing him in a suit. I hadn't thought anyone could pull off a suit so well...

'Hey,'

'I'm sorry I've not been around.' He said in greeting, lightly touching my elbow. 'I've been busy.'

'I know. I get it. I'm just glad to see you.' I did get it. But that didn't mean I liked not seeing him. He leaned forwards, his lips lightly brushing my forehead as the rest of the team filed into the room. 'What do you need?'

'Have a seat.' Where was this going? I slowly slipped into the empty chair between Emily and Spencer, shooting them both a smile. In the space of 3 months, I liked to think we'd all become something that resembled friends. I pulled off my coat, pulling some fluff from the sleeve of my cream sweater. What was going on?

'This can't leave this room.' David said, his eyes meeting mine, and I instantly thought back to the incident that had brought me into the world of the BAU in the first place, the murder of Sara Barkley who had been one of my patients.

'Okay.'

'We need you to sign this.' I was handed a confidentiality agreement and a pen. I gave Aaron a wary look before picking up the pen and signing my name. I was feeling uneasy now. Why all the secrecy? Did this concern the murders? Was I involved again in some way?

'I thought doctors were supposed to have shit handwriting.' Derek gestured with a grin and I rolled my eyes, feeling the tension diffuse slightly.

'I'll take that as a compliment.'

'Alright.' JJ was stood at the top of the table, a board filled with writing behind her. 3 photographs were clipped to the top. The 3 murdered men. '3 men have been found dead in the last week, all in their 20s and 30s and all shot with a standard issue hand-gun. They were all staged in a way that made their deaths seem like suicides...'

'But they're murders?' I said, speaking the words I'd been afraid to say and had been pushing out of my mind for the last week. JJ nodded.

'They all died because of a single shot to the head, so we know that the un-sub is efficient and probably has experience using firearms.' Spencer said.

'The latest bodies were found on Sunday morning, having been killed on Saturday night, so that suggests that we're looking for more than one un-sub.' Aaron continued. 'But they're isolated incidents; different un-subs killing for the same motive.'

'Like a cult?' I said.

'A cult can be a system of religious veneration and devotion directed towards a particular figure. But it can also be a relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or as imposing excessive control over members. In fact, the word cult itself comes from - ' Spencer started. Spencer really was the cleverest person that I'd ever met and his intelligence was staggering sometimes.

'Kind of a cult.' Emily confirmed, smirking in Spencer's direction.

'We set up a hotline to receive any information from the public on Wednesday.' JJ continued. 'And yesterday, a man came forward.'

'Someone actually came forward?' I had gathered from Aaron that most of the time the hotline never really amounted to anything but was just standard procedure. She nodded.

'He suspects his colleague who we brought into questioning but had to release because we didn't have anything to hold him on.' David said. 'But we're interested in both of them: both were textbook narcissists and by injecting themselves himself into the investigation, it makes him feel important and possibly deflects attention away from himself. They're both involved in some way.'

Aaron really had been busy over the last couple of days. Not that I hadn't believed it when he'd barely returned any of my messages but still...

I was trying to process all the information. There was more than one killer, possibly a group similar to a kind of cult. There were already at least two suspects on the board. I narrowed my eyes. But what did this have to do with me?

'Where do I come in?' I asked, noticing Aaron's jaw tighten. Something was definitely up. Something that Aaron wasn't too happy about.

'The guy who came forward claimed he and his colleague work at a club downtown, which checks out with what we've been able to find.' Derek said, leaning back in his chair. 'And we think this could be the base of their operations.'

'Operations?'

'We think the un-subs all know each other from this club. But because it's a club, it doesn't have very thorough employee records.' Emily explained.

'But he saw all of us when he came forward.' David said. 'He'd recognize us. So what we need is someone trustworthy, who has a brain, to go in instead.'

Ah. Now I could see where this was going.

Aaron still didn't look very happy about the whole thing. I was guessing it wasn't his idea.

'What would I be doing exactly?' I asked. This wasn't exactly my idea of a good time but if I could do something to help stop these people from killing then I was going to do it. Whatever it took.

'Surveillance. We'd fit you with a hidden camera and an earpiece and see if we learn any new information about who else might be involved in this...cult...' David said, throwing a look in Spencer's direction.

'A little snooping around, seeing what you can - ' Derek started, winking at me but Aaron cut him off.

'No, no snooping.' He said firmly and I raised an eyebrow at him. 'This is potentially dangerous people we're dealing with. We don't need anyone else getting hurt.' He looked pointedly at me. So that's why he was so against the idea.

'You don't have to.' Emily said quickly. 'You have a life, we'd get it - '

'No, I'll do it.' I said, firmly. 'Anything I can do to help. When were you thinking?'

'Tomorrow night?' I nodded. I'd have to sort somewhere for the girls to go, but I couldn't see that being a problem.

'We'll text you the details when we've figured everything out.' JJ said, as everyone began getting up from the table. I guessed they all had things to be getting on with.

'That's fine.' I said, feeling a tad nervous. But I was just going to have to do it. I pulled on my coat and swung my bag over my shoulder, when suddenly an arm slipped around my waist.

'I take it this wasn't your idea?' I said, teasingly as I turned to see Aaron standing next to me.

'No.' He said, straightening out his lapel before meeting my gaze. 'Not that I don't trust you, obviously, I know you'll do great but - '

'It's dangerous.' I finished. 'I know.'

'We don't exactly know what these guys are capable of.' He continued, his jaw still tense. He was really concerned. This comforted me a little.

'I attacked a guy with a fork. I think I can handle a club full of people.' I said smiling, watching his brows furrow a little. 'What is it?'

'I am sorry for not being around much, you know.' He said quietly and I nodded.

'It can't be helped.' I said, shrugging. I mean, it wouldn't hurt for him to answer one phone call but -

'I know, but - '

'It's fine.' I promised, running my hands over his shoulder blades. 'And besides, now you can make it up to me.' His steely façade finally broke as I saw him smirk slightly and his hand lightly squeezed my waist.

'Of course.' He said and I was glad that the room was empty as he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and leaned forward to kiss me.

\- Lizzy's going spying! What do you think will happen?


	10. Novem

As promised, JJ had texted over the details of my surveillance 'mission' so by 8pm the following evening, I was stood in front of the floor-length mirror in my room, wondering for the hundredth time if my dress was okay. Downstairs, I could hear Joe explaining the plot of Star Wars to the girls for what seemed like the millionth time.

The team would be here any minute to pick me up. I still couldn't decide whether my dress was too short or too tight and I'd been pondering this for the last half an hour.

It wasn't like I frequented clubs or anything. The last time I'd been out clubbing, properly, was about 4 years ago and even then, Kelly had had to drag me out of the door.

The dress I'd chosen was one I'd owned for several years and hadn't worn in a long time. It was black, cutting off mid-thigh - I was sure the skirt was shorter than it was supposed to be, at least it felt that way. Or maybe that was because I was used to wearing much longer skirts on the account that I wasn't a particular fan of my legs.

Either way, there was nothing I could do.

The neckline was a high-neck halter style which at least solved the problem of me having to keep pulling it up all night. The dress was tight and formfitting, showing off every curve off my hips and waist.

At least I had no problem with wearing high heels, or we'd really be in trouble.

I'd at least attempted a dark, smoky eye which was something I rarely ever did and had simply left my hair in its natural waves. I didn't have time to straighten it.

The nerves had been building in my stomach all day, even if I wasn't doing anything particularly nerve-inducing. I was going to a club, getting a drink and looking around at the bartenders. That was it.

I still felt sick.

'Lizzy? Your friends are here!' Joe suddenly called up the stairs and before I could convince myself otherwise, I grabbed my coat and purse and hurried down the stairs.

JJ and Emily were gathered near the front door, while Joe continued explaining what was happening in the film and why exactly they were trying to blow up the Death Star. Lexi still wasn't getting it.

'Bye then!' I said, bending down as Lola hugged me on my right side and Lexi on my left. 'Be good.'

'Your dress is pretty, Mommy.' Lola said and I grinned, feeling a pang of guilt. I hadn't been able to tell them what exactly I was doing or where I was doing. It was confidential. I'd signed an agreement.

'Thank you, sweetie. Don't drive Uncle Joe mad - '

'Have fun doing whatever it is you're doing.' He said with a smirk and I rolled my eyes, opening my mouth to speak. 'I know, I know, you're helping Aaron do something.'

'Thanks for doing this.'

'And I won't tell Mom you left the house looking like that - ' He continued, gesturing to my dress and I rolled my eyes. I wasn't a teenager anymore. I could wear what I wanted.

'You're not talking to Mom anyway.' I shot back bluntly, watching him glare at me before turning back to the film.

'Everything okay?' JJ asked as I opened the door and stepped out into the cold night air, quickly belting my coat around myself. I nodded, trying to ignore the curious looks in their eyes.

They didn't need to know about the conflict between Joe and Mom. I didn't concern them in any way, even if it was seeming to tear the house apart.

'Do I look okay?'

'You look amazing.' JJ confirmed and I rolled my eyes, subconsciously tugging the hem of my dress further down my legs.

'Hotch is going to faint when he sees you.' Emily joked, leading me towards a black jeep that was parked up across the street. I rolled my eyes shooting her a sharp look.

'Ha ha.'

I'd almost been able to convince myself that this wasn't really happening but as Derek opened the back door of the jeep, it finally hit me. This was actually happening. I was doing this. Really.

'I'm not letting you in my jeep until you show me what you're wearing - ' He teased with a smirk and I raised an eyebrow.

'For starters, it's not your jeep.' I shot back. 'It's the FBI's.'

He shrugged, his feet firmly planted on the ground. JJ rolled her eyes and hopped into the drivers' seat. 'Still...'

'You're incorrigible, you know that?' I said finally, opening my coat to give him a quick show of my dress and his eyes widened. I rolled my eyes and pushed past him to get inside, the cold wind whipping at my bare legs.

'Damn...' He whistled, slapping me on the shoulder as I clambered inside.

'Funny.' Both walls of the jeep were covered in high-tech surveillance equipment, which David, Spencer and Aaron were sat at. This was actually happening.

'You look hot. Right Hotch?' I turned to catch Aaron's eye as I sat down on the floor, my back against the partition that divided up the surveillance equipment from the driving seat, where JJ was sat.  
   
'Hmm?' I couldn't help but notice that his eyes had been fixed on my figure but he quickly looked over to Morgan who was stepping into the jeep after Emily and shutting the door. 'Oh...yeah. Sure.'

The jeep suddenly lurched into motion and Derek grabbed onto David's back to stop him from falling. I smirked, my cheeks heating slightly as Aaron stared intently at the screen in front of him. He wasn't big on sharing his feelings but it was nice to see that I could at least get under his skin some of the time.

'So we're going with English?' Emily said, as I cast my mind back to the discussions I'd had with JJ. In order to keep me out of danger, I wasn't using my true identity and that meant using an accent which I was thankfully pretty good at.

I'd wanted to go for my raw Oklahoman accent to show some loyalty to my Southern roots, as well as the fact that it made everything sound more sexy. Emily had shot me down, though, saying it would bring too much attention to myself.

'I should be fine, considering I am half English.' I said with a grin.

'Really?' I nodded. Mom might have lived in the US for 45 years but that didn't change her English heritage.

'Mom was born in London before she came travelling around the US. Then she met my dad and everything went from there.'

'That's cute.' David said with a smirk.

'Yeah, she gave up everything to come here. But that doesn't mean she's a pushover, she was a cop - '

'You just get more and more interesting, don't you?' Derek said with a grin and I rolled my eyes, biting my tongue and wondering how they were going to react to my next tidbit.

'And Dad's in the FBI - '

'Really?' Spencer exclaimed and I smiled, taking in everyone's surprised expression, aside from Aaron.

'Yeah.' I saw Derek quickly log onto the FBI database.

'Name?'

'Frank Harmon.' I knew that if Pen were here she'd definitely have something to say about his typing speed.

'Look at that, he is.' David breathed with a smirk. As if I'd lie about that.

'He was in charge of that $10,000 drugs bust last month?' Derek exclaimed, shooting me a surprised look. I had known that Dad's work was impressive but I didn't know just how reverent he was considered with other FBI members.

'Postal Inspection definitely isn't the BAU but still...'

'He looks a bit like Hotch, you know - ' Spencer said cheerfully, squinting slightly and I saw Derek and David both suppress a smirk.

'No, he doesn't.' Aaron was dutifully trawling through a file in front of him but I could see that his eyes had pricked up at the mention of his name.

'He does!' Emily insisted, leaning forward. 'It's the hair - '

'Stop it - '

'Does it make you uncomfortable?' Derek grinned and I rolled my eyes, crossing my legs over as the jeep bounced over a bump in the road.

'Yes, so stop it - '

'Shall we get back to business?' Aaron said firmly, giving the team a stern look and I held in my smirk. Aaron was so different when he was around Jack to how he was at work that the difference made me laugh.

'Right.' Emily said, moving forwards towards me. 'This is your wire, so we'll be with you the whole time.' She passed me a small microphone attached to a wire and a slip of tape. I taped the microphone to my collarbone, hidden by the fabric of my dress. 'And your camera.' My 'camera' was actually a necklace, where the gem was a camera lens.

The joys of modern technology.

The jeep suddenly halted and JJ killed the engine. I let out a deep breath, pushing myself to my feet. Adrenaline was fueling my body. My palms were sweating and I wiped them on my dress as I moved to the back of the jeep, my purse slung over my shoulder.

'Good luck - ' Spencer called, smiling at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

'If there's any sign of trouble, get out of there straight away.' Aaron said, taking off the headset he'd been wearing and leading me out of the jeep. The club was a couple of blocks down, the music blasting through the door.

'I will.' I didn't plan on getting into any trouble, as far as I could help it. In some respects, I hoped that this whole thing would be a bust so at least I'd get out safely. But that wouldn't help anyone.

'Be careful.' He said, his voice lower, his hand skirting my hip. I could feel the warmth radiating from his body and the gleeful looks from the rest of the team. Teasing him mercilessly about our relationship was one of their favorite hobbies.

'I will.' I repeated. 'I've got my guardian angels looking out for me. And I'd kiss you, but I don't want to smudge my lipstick.'

Aaron rolled his eyes at this. 'You really do look good.' He said slowly, his nose brushing against my own and his eyes darkening. I ignored the knot building in my stomach and lightly tapped him on the nose with my finger before checking the road for any incoming traffic and crossing it.

My heart was doing cartwheels. I wanted to get back into the jeep and have JJ drive away. But that wasn't an option.  
***  
My newly acquired not-fake-but-not-real ID got me inside the club with no questions asked by the men at the door. I glanced at them both, trying to soak up everything about their appearance. Were they involved in this cult that was possibly killing people?

If I had any suspicion about them, then I couldn't show it. I had to pretend I knew absolutely nothing about the club because tonight I was Victoria Wallace, a woman visiting her extended family in the city who'd been stitched up by her date.

That was what Emily and I had come up with. And now it was time to put it into practice.

I weaved through the masses of people that crowded in front of me, the flashing disco lights partially blinding me. The music was almost deafening, the sound of Demi Lovato swirling around in my ears. I was going to have to really listen if I was going to make out anything the team were saying to me.

I approached the bar, my eyes eying up the bartenders that were working across it. I flicked some hair from my face and threw my purse down onto the counter, practically falling onto a stool in a huff. I had never actually been stitched up by a date but I'd spent 3 months with some profilers, so surely I could blag it.

'What can I get you, darling?' A bartender suddenly appeared in front of me and I slowly eyed him up: his hair had so much gel in it that I was sure it was permanently fixed in that position. His shirt was tight, too tight really, and I could see his muscles bulging through the fabric. He didn't pass me as a killer but then, who did?

I pursed my lips, as though I was considering his words. 'Surprise me.' I said eventually, turning my eyes away from him as though his sole existence bored me, my English accent clicking into place. I was going for the whole spoiled rich girl vibe, as per Emily's suggestion. I didn't know what that said about me.

'Coming up.' He replied, his accent showing he was local. I saw him grinning as he reached under the bar for a glass and shot a fellow bartender a grin, gesturing to me. It was happening.

'You okay, love?' The other bartender asked me and I slowly trailed my eyes up his body.

'Not really.' I sighed, turning round to fully face them, tapping my red nails against the surface of the bar. 'When you spend half an hour waiting for someone in the freezing cold, you expect some form of message to say they can't make it.' I rolled my eyes as though the existence of my 'date' drove me mad. 'Apparently, I'm just naïve.'

'That guy obviously wasn't worth you, darling.' His eyes narrowed over my lips and trailed down the rest of my body. I might have been in a relationship for 11 years but that didn't mean I couldn't flirt. 'Let me fix you something special.'

'Why, thank you - ' I beamed, pouting slightly and taking sight of the rest of the bartenders. My eyes locked onto one in particular. I recognized him from Aaron's house, from the few photos he had scattered around. I was sure that it was his brother, Sean.

That was a development.

Was he mixed up in what was going on here? I desperately hoped not.

'You've got them wrapped around your finger.' Derek said suddenly, sounding both smug and surprised.

'What is it about American men and English accents?' I mused, gazing around the room and making sure my necklace was lying flat against my chest. Every face I caught could be run through Penelope's computer systems.

'You should do it more often.' Derek continued. 'At home. If you get - '

'Stop - ' I muttered under my breath, as the bartender returned with a glass that was an alarming shade of orange. I had no idea what was in it but could already smell the alcohol wafting from the glass. I grinned up at him. 'Thanks.'

'No problem.' He winked at me and then slipped past me, disappearing down a corridor to my left. I pushed the glass away from me. I wasn't drinking that, even if it was the last drink on Earth.

'How about following that guy?' Spencer suggested and I sucked in a breath, sliding off my stool and tugging my dress down.

'No.' Aaron said firmly. 'Lizzy, don't follow him.' I wasn't wholly listening as my eyes had locked on to something else, another figure that I knew. He too slipped down the corridor, his hands casually in his pockets, his hair cut much shorter than the last time I'd seen him.

I felt my heart skip a beat. He hadn't seen me. There was no way he could have.

'Where is he going?' I asked, slowly making my way through the crowd as the music suddenly shifted to Flo Rida and everyone started cheering.

'It doesn't matter.' Aaron said. But it did. Was it a shift change? Or something else? And what the hell was Mike doing there? 'It's too dangerous, Lizzy.'

'I'm not getting anything here other than that guy was trying to poison me.' I said, continuing to make my way through the crowd, my hands twitching at my sides. 'I'm going in.'

'But - '

'Shut up Aaron, I'm fine.' I hissed. I was just looking around. Nothing was going to happen. I hadn't found out anything that could help the investigation and that wasn't good enough for me.

The corridor was dark and free of people. The first three doors I came across led to the bathrooms and a janitors closet. I passed through another set of double doors, my heart thumping. If I was caught, I could just play the drunk card: I was so drunk that I'd taken a wrong turn and couldn't find the bathroom.

I came across another set of double doors, that had a STAFF ONLY label plastered across it. I peered through the small window in the door. It was a storeroom, filled with barrels and wooden boxes. There was a group of about 10 people inside, all men, all wearing employee uniforms.

I tried to slow my breathing. I could hear a faint murmur through the door but couldn't make anything out. Holding my breath, I nudged the door open with my heel and made sure that my necklace was capturing the image that I was seeing.

I could make out the figure of Hair Gel and Mike under the shady lights. They were talking in hushed whispers, most of the words getting lost. I needed to get closer.

I nudged the door open slightly further, a breath of cool air kissing my face. I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to press my body into the door so that I wouldn't be detected.

I didn't know if my drunk-person ruse would work when I was caught eavesdropping through an open door.

Mike was stood facing me, his eyes focused on a man to his left. What was he doing here? I couldn't think about him. I wasn't here to think about him. I was -

His eyes suddenly shot up and met mine. I gasped and jumped backwards into the corridor. Shit. Shit.

'GET OUT OF THERE NOW!' Aaron shouted in my ear as I pushed my way through the crowds, not thinking about who I was bumping into or whether they were following me. I heard a crash behind me, followed by screams and something that sounded like a gunshot.

'WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?' I cried back, heaving open the heavy metal door with my shoulder. Shooting a look over my shoulder, I saw Mike surging towards me holding something in his hand - a gun.

'THEY'VE GOT GUNS!' I shouted, not caring who heard me as I stumbled out into the crisp night air. My legs were shaking as I pushed some hair from my face.

I heard another round of bullets and forced a breath through my lungs.

What the hell was happening? What was this?

And why the fuck was Mike involved in it?

FEATURED SONGS:  
Jax Jones & Demi Lovato - Instruction  
Flo Rida - Right Round

\- Who do you think Mike is? How's he involved with the story?


	11. Decem

I turned towards where I could see the jeep parked a couple of blocks down, the doors thrown open. I would have ran towards it, ran as though my life depended on it, if another door to my right wasn't suddenly thrown open and a group of men wearing club uniforms and clutching guns spilled out into the street.

Shit. I wasn't going that way then.

Without thinking, I sprinted in the opposite direction, not giving a thought to how close Mike was to me or how many men were now on my tail. I just ran, the adrenaline in my system waking me up more than any alcohol ever could.

I shot into a side street, moving through the alleyways without a real clue where I was going. I wasn't as familiar with this part of town and I certainly wasn't acquainted with the back alleys behind a club.

I tried to keep track of which way I was going as I ran through the streets, my only thought that Mike was probably close on my tail and I really didn't want to bump into him alone in a dark alley where he had a gun. It wouldn't end well.

I allowed myself a second to breathe, a second to check my surroundings, a second to see if there was anyone on my tail, whether a friend or a possible enemy. There was no one, at least for the moment. Maybe I'd lost them. Maybe I'd lost him.

How the hell was Mike mixed up in all this? It didn't exactly surprise me, though. It would just be something else that he'd kept from me, that he had a penchant for murder.

It was safe to say that even if the employees of the club weren't involved in these killings, there was definitely something suspicious about them. I didn't think it was normal for all club employees to own a firearm. Or to have secret meetings in storage rooms.

I had to keep moving. I wasn't safe until I was back inside the jeep. I continued down the alley, slowing my pace as I weaved through the trash cans, abandoned bikes and the rest of the junk that littered my path.

My heart was racing. I didn't know where I was. I'd just have to keep moving until I came out back into the street. And pray that there would be no armed men guarding the backdoor of the club, otherwise I was done for. I'd have to beat them off with my stiletto heel and I didn't really like my chances.

I suddenly heard another crack of a gunshot and pushed myself into the wall, ignoring the dirt that was now coating my dress. Was anybody hurt? Had it -

I held my breath. I could have sworn I heard something moving behind me. I cautiously checked over my shoulder, squinting in the darkness.

Nothing. I was letting my nerves get ahead of themselves.

I needed to stop being so paranoid and get myself back in the jeep.

I forced myself to keep moving, weaving through the alleys that I was hoping would bring me back out into the road. The air was eerily silent. At least if people were shouting then I would know where they were - where the team were and that they were safe.

I suddenly stopped again, my ears pricking up. I could hear the low murmur of voices in front of me. Two people. Shit.

I quickly unfastened my heel and seized it, forcing myself to ignore how cold the ground was and just what I was stepping in. I had no weapon. No gun or knife.

I was going to have to hit them over the head, or in the eye, or something. 

This was not what I would have thought I would be doing with my evening. Nothing ever went smoothly with the BAU, did it?

I counted to 3 in my head, knowing there was no other way to get past them. I was going to have to hit and run, quite literally.

I flew around the corner, my heel poised in my hand, and the sight I saw made me want to faint in relief. It wasn't an armed employee, it was Spencer leaning against the wall, panting heavily, while Emily reloaded her gun.

'Thank God - ' I breathed, not realizing how I'd been holding my breath.

'You okay?' I nodded, hurriedly checking them both for any sign of injury. They weren't bleeding anywhere, they hadn't been shot. They were okay.

'What happened?'

'We were chasing after one of them, nearly had him too.' Emily grumbled. 'But he got away. And Reid's injured - '

'I'm fine.' He insisted as my eyes shot to him, scrutinizing the way he seemed to be gingerly standing, resting most of his body weight against the wall rather than on his feet.

'You're limping.' I corrected, replacing my heel before stepping forward so that he could at least put some of his body weight against me. 'How's everyone else?'

'They were okay a couple of minutes ago.' Emily said bluntly. 'But we didn't plan on this. We didn't hand out communicators like we normally do. We all split up - '

'We need to get back to the jeep. I can't have a look at your feet until we're somewhere safe.' I said. 'Can you walk?'

'Not really.' Emily answered, before Spencer could say that he was fine when it was clear that he wasn't. 'What's the plan, doc?'

'We'll have to walk with you. You can put some of your body weight onto us - ' I said, shifting one of Spencer's arms so that it was slung over my shoulder and Emily did the same on the other side. Spencer was still taller than me, even in my heels, but there was nothing else we could do.

'This is silly. What if we get attacked, what - '

'Lizzy can fight them off with her shoe.' Emily said as we moved slowly down the alley, breaking the tension and I smirked, even though moving with half of Spencer's weight on me wasn't the easiest thing in the world.

'But seriously - '

'Then I'll shoot at them.' Emily said, clipping her gun into her belt as an idea hit me.

'Have you got your gun?' I asked Spencer, halting at the end of the alley. We were clear on both sides. He handed it to me and I quickly loaded it, gripping it in the hand that wasn't supporting Spencer's back. Both him and Emily were staring at me.

'My dad's in the FBI and I'm from Oklahoma. I can shoot a gun.' I said, smirking slightly, ignoring the fact that I was kind of breaking the law. I hadn't held a gun in what must have been years but shooting wasn't the kind of thing you forgot. 'Now we can both shoot at them.'

'This is ridiculous!' Spencer whispered angrily as Emily told him to be quiet. 'I'm not injured. I've had worse happen to me - '

'I don't care.' I said, silencing him, not really sure if I wanted to know what else he'd had to endure in the name of the FBI.

I knew that all it would take was for one of the employees to come back and then we were pretty much toast if we couldn't get a clear shot of him. We weren't leaving Spencer and he couldn't exactly run anywhere and I didn't know how many bullets me and Emily had between us.

I pushed this voice to the back of my mind. I couldn't think like that right now.

We were close to the road now. I could see the gleam from the streetlamps at the other end of the alley. Somewhere up the road was the jeep and safety.

To my right, I suddenly saw Emily click the safety off her gun as we continued forwards. She shot me a look. She'd heard it too - the patter of footsteps and the mutter of voices.

Neither of us could shoot like this, with one arm around Spencer's back, and hope to hit anything. 'You got him?'

'Yeah - ' Emily grunted slightly as I dropped Spencer's arm and gripped the gun with both hands. 'What're you doing?'

'Stay close behind me.' I said, my eyes searching for the source of the noise. 'And make a run for it if you need to - '

'Run?' Emily breathed.

'Hobble then.'

'Lizzy, you don't need to - '

Two figures suddenly appeared in front of me from the street, the moonlight illuminating the purple trim of their uniforms and the guns clutched in their hands.

I didn't think. I just moved, as their eyes raked over me, a look of realization hitting them. I shot the closest one in the shoulder, then the second man in the back of his leg as he turned to run.

Emily and Spencer were already moving as quickly as they were able towards the jeep that only lay a few feet away from us. JJ was lingering by the passenger door and as soon as she spotted them, she instantly started the engine and rushed over to help.

I'd just shot 2 people, non-fatally of course as I'd avoided any major arteries and with some basic surgery, rest and physiotherapy they'd be fine. But still. Tonight really wasn't what I'd expected.

I hurried after Emily and Spencer, supporting Spencer's back as he was helped into the jeep. Aaron, David and Morgan were all safely inside. None of them were bleeding out in an alley. I could allow myself to breathe.

Aaron's eye-brows were pinched together and his eyes cold. He was sat staring at the computer screen, wearing a pair of headphones. As soon as he saw me, he was instantly out of his seat and helping me into the jeep, his hand resting on my back.

'Calm down, you look like you're going to have a heart attack - '

'You okay?' He ignored my comment and I nodded, watching Emily and JJ help Spencer sit down on the floor, who was still insisting that he was fine. 'There were gunshots.'

'I'm okay. I didn't run into any of them. And if it's any consolation when I was flirting with those guys, I was totally picturing you.' It seemed when my senses were heightened, I got sarcastic without even realizing it. Aaron didn't flinch. 'I'm fine but Spencer's not - '

'You're all over-reacting - ' He insisted as I tore myself away from Aaron's touch and his steely gaze. 'I am fine.'

'No, you're not. You need to stay still. And Aaron sit down, you look like you're going to collapse - ' I shot a look behind me at Aaron's pale face as David shot him a look and the jeep lurched into motion.

'Can we all just all agree that that was suspicious?' Derek said as I kneeled on the floor in front of Spencer, Emily taking a seat next to me. 'There's something going on in there - '

'Agreed.' Emily said. 'We need to take a closer look at that place.'

'What about the gunshots? No one was hurt?' I asked.

'It was mostly them shooting at us - ' Aaron said, his voice strangely cold. 'But we called the authorities so the wounded can be treated.'

'The rest of them will have scattered by now.' Derek said ruefully. 'We'll have a hard time tracking them down.' Everyone knew this and I sighed, turning my attention to Spencer who'd finally stopped trying to pull away from me.

'I need you to put your feet on my knees.' I said, pushing some hair from my face. Spencer frowned. 'It's for shock. Just, please. And I need you to take your shoes off - ' Spencer pulled off his brogues and I slowly began massaging his feet and ankles for anything unusual or anything that prompted pain.

'No pain yet?' I asked and Spencer shook his head as I pushed down along his ankles with my fingers.

'What happened?' David asked.

'He were chasing after a guy and he threw Reid to the floor - ' Emily explained as I turned my attention to his other foot. 'And then we got cornered by two other guys.'

'The gunshots?' Emily nodded. 'We had Lizzy protecting us, though.' I shrugged, feeling everyone's eyes turn in my direction.

'I told you I could shoot.' I said. 'My Dad taught me when I was 9.'

'You're better than some recruits from the Academy.'

'I highly doubt that.' I said with a smirk. The last time I'd shot something was about 8 years ago and even then it had only been a cow. I'd never shot a human before. That had all changed now.

'Watch out Hotch, she's armed - ' Derek teased and I rolled my eyes, not needing to look behind me to see that Aaron's expression hadn't changed. He was in full on work mode; fun wasn't allowed. 'And I thought you were a gynecologist?' He gestured down to my hands.

'I am. But I'm a doctor of medicine, I can do other things - '

'Feet?'

'Feet aren't exactly my speciality, no. And we might need to stop by the hospital so you can have an x-ray - '

'Sure thing - ' JJ called from the drivers seat.

'I've not broken anything.' Spencer insisted.

'Maybe not but pressing here isn't supposed to make you wince.' I lightly pressed against his ankle, and Spencer sucked in a short breath. 'And you're the not the type to fake a limp.'

'Is he okay for work?' Emily asked worriedly, the worry clear on everyone's face. These guys weren't just a team, they were like a family.

'I think you've sprained your ankles.' I said after moment, handing Spencer his brogues back. 'So you need to go home, rest, ice and elevate them.'

'And if you ask nicely, pretty boy, she might even give you a lollipop - ' Derek teased and I rolled my eyes. I didn't have to deal with very young children, so I'd never had to do the whole giving out lollipop thing.

'Did one of those guys shout Lizzy?' David asked and I suddenly froze, not knowing how to react. 'Does one of them know you?' I remained quiet. I really didn't want to have to explain this whole situation. It was a moment in my life that I was trying very hard to forget.

I was trying very hard to forget Mike.

'Lizzy - '

'Don't remind me of my Mom.' I said to Aaron, knowing that whenever she was mad at me for something she'd say my name in the same authoritative, yet caring tone.

'Is there are a juicy story here?' Derek asked and I still remained quiet, resting my head back against the wall of the jeep, the gentle vibrations almost enough to send me to sleep. I didn't want to do this. I -

'You could be arrested for the obstruction of justice,' Aaron continued and I caught a hint of laughter in his voice. I met his gaze and rolled my eyes, inwardly groaning.

'Are you actually my Mom?' He didn't flinch and I sighed. I couldn't believe I was telling this story, right now, to a bunch of profilers. 'Fine. Yes, I know one of them. He's called Michael Caulfield. And when I broke up with Clint - ' I met Aaron's eye to see that he understood the reference 'He was my rebound.'

'He's your ex-boyfriend?' Spencer asked, as though the words were confusing to him and I nodded, grimly. Sadly, he was.

'Looking back, our relationship wasn't very healthy.' I said slowly, rubbing my eyes. 'Within a couple of months, I was basically infatuated with him and would have married him had he asked. I didn't care what anyone said about him. I loved him. At least I thought I did - '

I paused for a moment, cringing at the words that were about to come out of my mouth. I still didn't entirely know how I'd managed to get so swept up in him. I'd been lonely and depressed for more than a year after kicking Clint out and the fact that someone wanted to be with me had blown my mind. I hadn't been able to see just how messed up everything had been.

'One day, a woman came to my house asking for a Mike Caulfield.'

'His girlfriend?' David prompted and I shook my head, staring down at my hands.

'Even better. His wife.'

'No way.' Emily breathed and I nodded, judging Aaron's expression. I didn't know what to make of it.

'Turns out he was married. Had been for years. I'd been his fun side project. But the joke's on him because we both ended up leaving him and he lost pretty much everything in the divorce - '

'Asshole.' Derek murmured under his breath and I nodded.

'But it's fate isn't it?' I almost laughed, the irony comedic. 'He tried to kill me and Natasha, that's his ex-wife, is now one of my patients. Which is great, because she hates me - '

'Anything else exciting that we should know about?' I paused to think, the blush rushing to my cheeks. I'd gone in to help in a murder investigation and all I'd done was manage to drag my messy personal life into the mix.

'I think I saw Sean.' I said slowly, watching Aaron raise an eyebrow and narrow his eyes.

'Really?' I nodded.

'I'll call him tomorrow. He might know something that could help us - '

'You'll need to come in tomorrow, if you can.' David said and I nodded. 'For a debrief.'

'Sure thing.'

I'd almost got shot by Mike. That was a sentence I hadn't thought I would ever say. But it looked like, whether I wanted him to be or not, Mike was back in my life.

Oh boy.

\- What do you make of Mike so far? And what's going to happen next? Is Sean involved too?


	12. Undecim

The next day, it was clear that there was at least one indicator that I was getting older: I was shattered. By my lunch break at 12:30, I could have happily fallen asleep on my desk.

And that made me feel really old, even if I was only 32.

I hadn't even got in that late; I'd been tucked up in bed by 10:30. But what had happened was I'd ran into my ex-boyfriend who had consequently ended up shooting at me. And then I'd had to explain those overwhelming months to a group of profilers, including my current boyfriend.

That was why I felt so tired.

It was tearing me up inside that I couldn't tell Kelly or my family anything that I knew or even that Mike was apparently back in town. Kelly would have kittens if I told her; she hated Mike probably more than I did.

But I couldn't. I was part of an ongoing investigation.

Every day brought more rumours circulating about what was happening and even more TV reports and news coverage. The panic was rising. On practically every news channel, there were discussions about who they thought was responsible and why the FBI hadn't made a detailed statement yet.

Some dickheads were even saying how the men had deserved it. I could see why Mom was so desperate to keep Joe inside the house, even if he was beginning to condemn her for it.

I was trying to ignore the rumours, seeing as they were based on nothing, and concentrate on the information that Penelope and Aaron gave me, which wasn't exactly a lot. They didn't have very much to go on and with the cops breathing down their necks, praying that they'd mess up, it was making the whole investigation a lot harder.

I knew that if Mom was still on the force, anyone who so much looked at an FBI agent would be on the night shift for a month.

Dr. Hartner hadn't made an appearance all morning and I was taking this as a good sign. Maybe I'd got through to him and he would back off Becky? She seemed to have forgotten his comment and while I knew this probably wasn't the case, I was glad that she was back to her warm, bubbly self.

I'd also made a conscious effort to stop clumping him and Dr. Gonzalez together because while he was seriously cocky and somewhat anti-social, he didn't seem to be a bigot, which meant I didn't dislike him as strongly as I did Hartner.

With the characteristics of the killers still clear in my mind as well as my dislike for Hartner, I guessed it was only natural for me to be slightly wary around him. I hadn't suspected Tomas at all and that had ended up in him almost killing myself and Kelly. I wasn't going to make that mistake again.

And with Aaron and Dad both being in the FBI, I would be lying if I said I hadn't considered giving them Hartner's name. I knew it was stupid, that I had real no proof at all that he was involved, but I couldn't help it.

The BAU were looking for white men in their 20s and 30s who were homophobic, at least to the extent to be in a gang that killed gay men.  Hartner seemed to fit into all of those categories. It was a bit far to go from disliking him to accusing him or murder and I'd told myself several times to stop being stupid and just get on with the job.

It was obviously the stress from Christmas and the tiredness and everything else that was beginning to muck up my brain. I needed to keep a clear head.  
***  
I didn't know what was happening. I couldn't understand any of it. It was as though I was trapped in a nightmare and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't wake myself up.

It was some kind of nightmare. It was the kind of worst-case scenario that I never thought of because I never believed that it would actually happen. I was trying to backtrack in my mind, to remember how I'd got into this position, how everything had suddenly happened all at once.

I'd been called into Terzaki's office, somewhere I'd never been and hoped never to be again. Evan was there as well as Terzaki and some of the hospital governors. That was when I'd known something was happening. That it wasn't just a social call.

I still wasn't able to connect the dots in my mind. It didn't make sense. I must have misheard him.

But the piece of paper in my hand couldn't lie. Even if it had took me a few attempts to read it and understand the words swimming in front of my eyes.

Last week I'd told one of my long time patients, June Cabot, that her cervical results were clean and normal. And two days later, she'd gone down to Marchmont Hospital and had her tests repeated - and now she wasn't clean. Apparently.

She was suing me and she was suing the hospital. Her lawyer was already involved. I could lose everything because of this: my job and my license to practice. Everything that I'd worked for for the last 12 years could go up in smoke; the hours and the money and the tears could all be for nothing now.

Terzaki was talking to me - I could see his mouth moving but I couldn't make out the words. It was just white noise over the blaring in my ears. Evan was looking solemn, so were the 2 governors. I couldn't hear anything that was happening.

This whole thing was bullshit.

I helped June through both of her previous cancer scares. And this was how she thanked me.

This whole thing was bullshit.

'Of course Dr. Harmon, I don't think that you made a mistake - ' Terzaki was saying, my anger seeming to drag me back into the moment. 'There has to be some kind of misunderstanding which we are going to investigate fully. I'm going to contact Mrs. Cabot as well as Marchmont and find out what the hell is happening.'

His words were empty. They didn't mean anything. I could lose my license. That meant the end of my career forever.

'We're fully on your side. And if there's anything you need, just ask.' I met Terzaki's gaze, seeing his supportive smile, but it didn't comfort me. 'And while I hope it won't come to this and everything will be sorted out quickly and easily, you might want to look into getting yourself a lawyer. I can get in touch with HR personally if you - '

'No, it's fine.' I said stiffly, absent-mindedly playing with the belt of my teal colored pencil dress. This couldn't be real. I needed a lawyer. An actual lawyer.

This whole thing was bullshit.

'We're presuming Mrs. Cabot is going to ask for a lot of money from both you and the hospital and so - ' Of course the governors were only thinking about the money aspect, that was the only thing they did care about.

But of course they were. Everyone in the room knew that the Cabot's were involved in property developing and certainly weren't short of money. They were going to sue me and the hospital for every single penny that we were worth.

'You alright, Dr. Harmon?' Evan asked me, speaking for the first time. At least I thought it was the first time. I hadn't exactly been listening. His eyes narrowed behind his thin framed-glasses. I nodded.

'Yes, I'm okay.'

I was anything but okay. But Evan and I had been doing this a lot recently and we both knew it - lying to each other about our feelings. I couldn't even remember when we'd started doing it, but he was now pretending that he hadn't been absent from the corridors and wasn't spending a disproportionate amount of time in his office while I was pretending that this whole thing wasn't freaking me out and making me want to sit on the floor and cry.

At least when we'd been at odds with each other, we'd both known where we'd stood.

I had no idea what to do. I had told June that her results were clean because that's what I had thought. That's what I had seen. But I'd been wrong. I obviously hadn't been looking hard enough. I'd missed something. I failed at my job. I failed at doing one of the few things I was paid to do.

I had no idea what was going on. Or what I was meant to do about it.

This whole thing was bullshit.

\- Trouble's on the horizon for Lizzy! How do you think this whole thing is going to play out?


	13. Duodecim

Somehow, I managed to force myself through the rest of the day, ignoring every whisper I heard about myself. By tomorrow morning the news would be all around the hospital. I knew it. But I couldn't focus on that. I couldn't focus on anything.

Kelly had been just as shocked as I'd been. I hadn't been able to escape her and she'd practically interrogated me over what Terzaki had wanted when I returned from his office.

We'd both stood in the corridor saying how it was all bullshit, over and over, for several minutes before my next patient had arrived.

No one outside the hospital knew right now. I couldn't work up the courage to text Mom or Dad or even Aaron. Doing that would make the whole thing real.

I still couldn't comprehend it.

I forced myself into my car at the end of the day and instead of driving directly to my parents, I made my way over to the BAU. Thinking about the case would distract myself from thinking about work. At least that was the plan.

JJ greeted me as soon as I pushed open the doors, looking as flawless as ever, and beamed at me. I forced myself to smile.

'Hotch is on a phone call right now.' She said, leading me towards a room I hadn't been in before. 'But you can start filling out some information, if you would.' I nodded, looking through the glass doors to see another figure seated at the table, dressed in dark jeans and a leather jacket.

Sean.

I guessed it was my turn to meet the family.

But as far as I knew, he wouldn't know that I was the person his brother was dating, seeing as we'd never actually met or been introduced. This meant I could run with it - I deserved to have some fun today. And God knows my day hadn't been particularly fun so far.

Sean looked up as I entered the room, sat down on the chair next to him and pulled out a pen from my bag as JJ handed me some pieces of paper. I could feel Sean's eyes on me as I scribbled down my name. He had the same intense stare as his brother.

'So you're the hot chick they were using as bait?' He certainly got right to the point. 'I can see why they picked you.' I rolled my eyes. He was definitely going for a different flirting style than Aaron but I guessed that came with being ten years younger. 'I'm Sean Hotchner - '

'Dr. Harmon.' He raised an eyebrow and I smirked. 'Or Lizzy. I'm good friends with the tech analyst. That's why they picked me.'  Sean smirked again, leaning back slightly in his chair.

'I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. So I got nabbed by my brother - '

'Agent...Hotchner, right?' I asked slowly, as though I had to think about it. He nodded.

'I'm the more fun brother who actually has a life.'

'Agent Hotchner works very hard from what I've heard.' I said, running a hand through my hair.

'He's married to his work.' Sean said with a roll of his eyes. 'I, on the other hand, know how to have a good time. If you're up for it - ' I open my mouth, not quite sure how to respond, when the door suddenly swings open.

'That is beyond inappropriate, Sean.' Aaron said, pulling himself up to his full height. 'You're here to help in a murder investigation.'

'Here comes the funeral march - ' Sean murmured under his breath, making me smile, before turning back to his piece of paper. Aaron turns to come towards me but I subtly shake my head, watching his brows knit together before relaxing.

This was the most fun that I'd had all day. Sean was actually making me smile with his obvious advances towards me, even if two people in the room knew that I wasn't interested.

And besides, just because I was dating Aaron didn't mean I couldn't partake in some harmless flirting.

'What does that matter if I'm not interested, though?' I said, scribbling down more of my details.

'We'll see about that.' Sean said winking in my direction and I smirked up at Aaron, watching him grind his teeth in annoyance. Aaron was glaring at him the way he had when he'd first met Evan - like they were an annoying insect he wanted to step on.  
***  
What I thought would be a quick and easy task soon turned into something much bigger. I kept getting distracted and it wasn't just because of Sean's constant flirting. I'd find myself thinking about work and then I'd start to get nervous or I'd feel David or Spencer staring at me from across the room and I'd look up at them and worry that they could see through my smiling façade.

But it was mostly Sean. Let's be honest.

But Sean flirting with me had also brought another outcome - Aaron had begun to up the ante with me which was both hilarious and extremely distracting.

He was trying to impress me even though he'd already won. I definitely wasn't complaining, though.

Sean had disappeared in search of the bathroom and I'd just started on writing down everything that I could remember about last night when I felt a light touch on my arm.

'Are you ganging up on me with my own brother?' Aaron asked, his eyes sparkling in amusement. I furrowed my eyebrows.

'Of course not. I'm a professional adult who isn't bored out of my mind and low on energy.' I replied with a grin and watched Aaron rolled his eyes, straightening up as Sean returned, the fanciest cup of coffee that the coffee machine could produce in his hand.

'I thought you could use a pick-me-up.' He said, placing the cup in front of me and winking at his brother.

'I'd say thanks if I didn't kind of hate coffee.' I said, watching Sean's face fall and Aaron chuckle, quickly covering it up with a cough.

'Go away - ' Sean said, glaring at Aaron's retreating back, before taking the coffee for himself.

'I'm a doctor.' I reminded himself. 'Of course I'm against anything that's bad for your health.'

'You're gorgeous, successful, have the makings of a spy - ' Sean counted off on his fingers and I laughed, watching him run a hand through his hair. I hadn't realized he'd took his jacket off but it was now hung on the back of his chair, showing off his impressive arm muscles.

'Aren't you cold?' I asked, acutely aware of how Aaron was standing a few feet away. 'It's -1 outside - '

'Nah, I'm fine.' He grinned, turning his attention to the paper in front of him. I looked up as Aaron approached; he raised an eyebrow at me and I smirked.

'We need to give you some kind of payment.' He said, placing a bottle of apple juice in front of me and I rolled my eyes at his pettiness.

'Thank you.' Sean was shooting daggers in Aaron's direction and if looks could kill, he'd already be in his grave. Sean was ready for battle. And I was immensely enjoying this.  
***  
In the next twenty minutes, Aaron and Sean had pulled out all the stops.

They were both going out of their way to help me, bringing me countless bottles of water and apple juice, new pens in case mine happened to run out and even bars of chocolate from the vending machine.

Sean kept flexing in front of me and after a while I noticed that Aaron had hung his suit jacket over the back of a chair and had rolled his shirt up to his elbows. Did he know how distracting I found his forearms? Was that weird?

I didn't know and I didn't really care because every time I saw the muscles ripple in his back and arms, I had to swallow and force myself to concentrate. This competition they were having was progressing from being just amusing to being a serious problem - Aaron was hot.

I finally managed to finish writing up every single tiny piece of information that I could remember, everything I'd seen and heard as well as what the camera had captured. It was 6:15 PM. With everything that had happened today, as well as the exhaustion of being hit on from two very attractive men and subtly checking out of my boyfriend, I was ready to crash.

That was, until Sean appeared by my side, leaning over me, his hand on my back, asking if I wanted anything else. This had to stop at some point. I couldn't drag him along forever.

'You can't go and flirt with every single woman that you see - ' I said firmly, throwing my pen back into my bag. Sean raised an eyebrow at me and folded his arms.

'Why doesn't Aaron get told off for flirting? And I'm better looking anyway - '

'Because Aaron's allowed to.' I rose from my chair, looking Sean straight in the eye and seeing the realization slowly dawn on his face. He quickly looked me up and down, turning to look for Aaron, before turning back to face me.

'Oh shit - ' He sighed and I smirked. 'No one told me anything!'

'I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.' I admitted but Sean just shrugged.

'It's alright, I should have seen it. You're just his type - blonde, gorgeous, funny.'

'Thanks.' I said with a roll of my eyes, gesturing for Aaron to come over.

'That was genuine that time.' Sean said teasingly, his smile sincere. It was clear that even though their relationship was strained, they did care for each other.

'It was completely my idea, don't blame Aaron.'

'I can believe that.' Sean said smirking as Aaron approached. 'Aaron's no fun.'

'He has his moments.' He commented, slapping him on the back before giving me a wave and disappearing out of the door.

That was the end of my family introduction then. I hadn't predicted it would have been so amusing. Or would make me so flustered.

'I enjoyed that.' I said, watching Aaron sigh.

'I bet you did.' I laughed. 'How are you?' I swallowed down what I really wanted to say, how everything over the last hour was simply a distraction to what was really on my mind, how everything was not as perfect as I might have shown.

'Good.' Aaron paused for a moment, gesturing towards where David was sat at a desk, filling out forms.

'Dave said you looked a bit tired - ' So he and Spencer had been spying on me. Was tired just his way of saying anxious? Or was I managing to hide the thoughts that were flying around my head?

'Work was just busy.' I didn't want to face everything yet. Facing everything would make it real. I didn't know if I was ready for that yet. 'I like Sean, you'll have to introduce me properly soon.'

'You sure about that?' Aaron asked and I grinned, nodding.

'I want to hear all your embarrassingly childhood stories. You've heard enough of them about me. How's the case going?'

'Thanks to you and Sean, we're getting a warrant to search the club right now. And Sean's given us some names so we finally have some suspects.'

'That's great.' I said, allowing myself to feel a spark of actual happiness that I might have helped to save some people's lives - even if my working life was currently hanging slightly in the balance.

'It's all thanks to you.' Aaron said, collecting the pieces of paper that I'd filled out off the table.

'And Sean.'

'And Sean - ' Aaron admitted, giving me a sharp look and a smirk.

\- What do you think of Sean? And is Lizzy going to start accepting what's happening and tell someone?


	14. Tredecim

The next morning, I was steadily making my way through my list of patients with some trepidation - I found myself second guessing every test result that I gave out, wondering if there had been some kind of mistake or something else that I was at fault for.

As I'd predicted, pretty much all the hospital staff were now aware of what had happened. I knew that being brought into Terzaki's office was bound to prompt questions but I hadn't expected everyone to have heard about it, down to even some of the janitors.

If I didn't know any different, I would have guessed it to be Evan who had been gossiping about me. But that didn't seem like the kind of thing he'd do anymore. It couldn't have been him anyway; he'd barely left his office in the last couple of days and hadn't had time to gossip with anyone.

I didn't like busy Evan. Not only did he hardly ever leave his office, but he seemed to be slightly miserable. Gone were his witty comments and snark that was always directed at me; I'd begun to miss our banter in the corridors. At least it would have given me something else to focus on.

And while he'd told me - and pretty much everyone else in Gynaecology - that he was simply busy with Terzaki running him ragged, I couldn't help wonder if there was something else bothering him. Even Terzaki, who was busy as a result of being the head of Gynaecology, found time to leave his office.

Was he deliberately shutting himself up? Was he avoiding me? Or was it something else?

For the course of the morning, Terzaki was insistent on emailing me every 30 seconds to tell me of the developments, or the lack of, in my 'case' as he'd took to calling it. I cringed every time I had to open them, wondering what had happened now.

I was terrified every time my computer pinged, it finally having dawned on me that I could lose my job and much more if something didn't happen. If I didn't make something happen.

That didn't mean I'd figured out where to start, though.

The Christmas decorations had finally been put up - long strings of tinsel and fairy lights that looped across the ceiling and a Christmas tree that sat proudly in the corner of the waiting room, decorated with glimmering baubles. The break room had also been decked out with tinsel and glittering stars had been hung from the ceiling, reflecting the light.

Even this didn't cheer me up. Even Kelly's lame jokes couldn't make me roll my eyes or flash a smile.

I had a short 5 minute break at 12, an hour before my lunch break for the day, but instead of feeling relieved, the seconds seemed to drag into hours.

My cell buzzed and I carelessly stared at it, expecting it to be another depressing development in the case. Another dead body. Or another complication.

I wasn't joking about that fun time, even if it would have to be platonic now

I hurriedly sat up in my chair, my eyes quickly re-reading the sentence, confusion flashing in my head. What the hell? Who was this? Then it clicked.

Sean. Of course.

How did you get my number?

I might have looked at your form

Of course he had. I could imagine the smirk on his face right now. I rolled my eyes.

Isn't that a bit stalker-ish?

But I make up for it cos of my ruggedly handsome looks? 

I supressed a grin, checking the time on the clock. I only had a couple more minutes before my next patient was scheduled to arrive. I felt a pang of something I couldn't identify. Sean was the first person to make me really smile all morning.

No, you're still a stalker

What are you up to?

Work

Ah, work. You're a gynaecologist right?

You see that on my form too?

Yep

Any sarcastic comments?

Nope, you scare me

I needed to have a serious sit-down with him if he really found me scary. But at least he had no sarcastic, condescending comments for me in spite of my occupation. Practically everyone I'd ever met had something to say about it when they found out and none of them were particularly flattering.

I have to go, got work to do

We should grab a drink sometime, I can tell you loads of stories about Aaron

I'd like that

Perhaps chatting to Sean over a beer about stories that happened years ago would make me feel better. At least they'd be able to distract me. Because at the moment it seemed that was all I was capable of.

***  
A couple of hours later, I was replenishing my stock of speculums before my next patient when Sylvie cornered me coming out of the stock cupboard, brushing dust off her navy blazer. She shot me a kind smile.

'How you holding up?'

'Fine.' I'd said this word too much lately, I knew it. It was a word that in reality meant absolutely nothing. Because fine wasn't an emotion, a feeling. It was a filler.

'I'm getting a drink, d'you want one?' I shook my head, looking over to Kelly who was sat at her desk, answering a phone call. 'Has Terzaki said anything to you?'

'Not since this morning. Not since she announced that she's suing the hospital 1 million bucks.' Sylvie's eyes widened and her mouth partly dropped open. Yeah, that had been my reaction too when Terzaki had told me.

'Bitch.' She murmured softly under her breath and I pursed my lips. Sylvie hardly ever swore. That was what June Cabot's announcement was doing to everyone.

'I never liked her - ' Kelly said, putting the phone down and turning to face us. She was wrapped up a thick green turtleneck, her brown hair arranged in a plait. 'And her husband's old enough to be my dad.'

I gave her a look, pulling the sleeves of my cream sweater down. June Cabot was 50. She was hardly ancient. And neither was her husband.

'What? He could be a young dad - ' Sylvie giggled and I gave Kelly a thankful look. She was trying to make me feel better. It was just a shame that it wasn't really working.

'It's all so messed up - ' Sylvie said, selecting her mug from the shelf and pressing a few buttons on the coffee machine.

'No it's not. That bitch is wrong and so is Marchmont and Lizzy's right.' Kelly said confidently. 'And that's the end of it.'

She was so sure of everything, so sure of me, so sure in my abilities. There wasn't even a glimmer of disbelief in her eyes as she stared back at me, her deep brown eyes so sincere. I smiled. 'Thanks, Kel.'

'There's no way you would have told her she was cancer free if you didn't absolutely believe that.' Kelly continued. 'So I completely trust you. As does everyone here. Everyone's behind you, Lizzy - '

'Thanks.' I repeated, folding my arms. Whatever happened, I knew that I could always rely on Kelly. That I always had been able to and I always would do.

'How are you parents handling it all?' I stared at her, blinking trying to digest her words. I hadn't told them. I didn't know how to. I shrugged.

'I haven't told them.' I tried to say it nonchalantly but Kelly instantly raised an eyebrow and stared at me.

'What? Lizzy - '

'I want to figure out what to do first. I don't want to panic them.'

'Lizzy, this is important. They might be able to help.'

I knew it was important. I knew that more than anything. And that's why I'd been so scared to tell anyone because when I did it became real.

'What about Aaron? He used to be a prosecutor, didn't he? He must know lawyers. What's he said?' I swallowed hard, the words fading in my throat as Kelly's eyes bored into my head and Sylvie disappeared down the corridor.

'I - I haven't - '

'What are you playing at?' Kelly shouted, her eyes narrowing.

'He's busy!' I knew I was clutching at straws, that there was nothing I could say that could justify not involving some of the most important people in my life in this mess that I'd ended up in.

'Not this again - ' Kelly rolled her eyes. 'You might lose your job and you've not told anybody at home. They might be able to help, Lizzy. I know you like sorting everything out by yourself but I don't see very much that you can do at the moment. And - '

Hartner and Gonzalez suddenly entered the corridor, laughing to each other, and disappeared into the break room. Just seeing them made me feel even worse, like there was something heavy sitting in my stomach. Kelly was still staring at me, her eyes wide and fierce. I nodded.

She was right, as per usual. I'd been being stupid. I should have told them the second that I found out.

She was right. I did like to solve things on my own. I didn't like burdening other people with my problems, even when I knew that they wouldn't mind.

'I'll tell them tonight.' I breathed, the words sounding definite on my tongue. Kelly nodded. 'When I come back from seeing Lexi's teacher.'

'What's that all about? That sounds a bit dodgy - ' That was something else I loved about Kelly. She never dwelled on anything that I obviously didn't want to talk about.

'I don't know.' I said. I hadn't thought about the letter since last week but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been curious. 'Lexi said nothing has happened with any of the other kids so I don't have a clue.'

'Let me know when you find out?' I nodded.

I would make myself tell her. Just as I was going to make myself call Aaron and Mom the second I got home and tell them everything that had happened over the last two days.

Why did everything bad always seem to happen at the same time? Was it some kind of omen?


	15. Quattourdecim

I let my head loll back onto the head rest, squeezing my eyes shut as the kids continued laughing in the backseat. They'd been outside playing in the yard while I'd been talking to Mrs. Carter.

They hadn't heard anything about our conversation, which was a relief to me. They hadn't seen just how badly I'd handled it.

Mrs. Carter's words were still floating around in my head. I was trying to form them into coherent sentences that I could read and understand but nothing was working. Nothing made sense. I couldn't get my head around it.

ADHD.

Or ADD, she wasn't entirely sure yet.

She'd told me that she wasn't even sure that it was anything but the fact that she'd called me in to school told me she was more confident in her theory that she'd told me in words. She thought Lexi had something - ADHD or ADD or something else along those lines.

I'd just stared at her and said that ADHD wasn't usually diagnosed in girls until they were at least 10. Lexi had only turned 7 a month and a half ago.

She'd already known that. And yet she'd still brought me in to talk to me.

Was this even real anymore? Or was it just some cruel joke?

The leaflets that she'd gave me lay crumpled in my hands from where I'd been clutching them too tightly. I couldn't read them.

What even happened? Had I missed something? Had I missed that my own daughter had a condition? I should have seen it. I was a doctor for fuck's sake. If anyone should have seen anything, it should have been me. I should have been the one calling in to see Mrs. Carter, not the other way round.

I should have seen it. I should have -

'Can we go home, Mom? I want to show Jack something - '

'Sure, sweetie.'

I had to pull myself together. I had three kids sitting in the backseat, all looking at me expectantly, wondering what the hell was wrong with me and why we weren't moving.

I sighed, fumbling for my car key and starting the ignition.

I just needed to keep my mind on the road for 10 minutes until we got home. Then I could figure out what the fuck life was anymore.  
***  
3 hours later and I still had no idea what I was doing. I was feeling totally overwhelmed. And calling Kelly, Mom and Aaron was now looking much less appealing.

I'd been subtly watching Lexi's every move all evening, reading into every gesture, every sound, every movement that she made.

Did she have ADHD? Was it really that obvious? Had a woman who'd been teaching Lexi for less than 4 months spotted it but I, her own mother, hadn't?

I could read what it meant. This, as well as the whole thing with June Cabot, was telling me too much: I was missing things. Missing things that I should have picked up on seeing as I called myself a doctor.

I was failing at the one thing I was supposed to be the best at. At least it felt like I was failing, if my heart being crushed and a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach was disappointment.

Even watching the kids are their care-free conversations and their smiles hadn't managed to cheer my up. I still felt rotten. And every time I locked eyes with Lexi and she smiled at me I felt like I was letting her down even more.

How did I even go around explaining the whole situation to Lexi? And then to Lola, and then Jack?

I was used to dealing with adults. They could handle the statistics and the facts and always knew how to put a brave face on. They could understand at least some of the scientific explanation, understand how the treatment was going to work and understand that there was always a chance things could get worse before they got better.

But Lex, she was 7. She was a kid. How could I possibly start to explain everything to her? That this was something she couldn't control, something that made her different from other kids, something that was heavily stigmatized by society and the media, something that could need meds to control.

I'd already made up the story that Mrs. Carter had simply wanted to talk about her progress, when they'd questioned me in the car.

I never lied to my kids. That was a rule that I lived by. And yet I just had. The lies had felt dead and dry in my mouth but that hadn't stopped me from doing it.

I'd have to explain it to her eventually. If we continued down the route Mrs. Carter was suggesting, of evaluations and testing and talking to professionals, Lexi was going to be asking me a lot of questions sooner or later. And I was going to have to figure out how to answer them.

Everything really was bullshit right now.

Even my chicken pasta bake that I'd cooked for dinner hadn't really improved my mood. And even the brownies that we'd had for desert had had limited impact.

There was a knock on the door. I pushed myself off the couch and moved towards the door. Aaron.

Great. Now I could hear how crap the case was going. That was going to make me feel loads better. And I had to fulfill my  promise to Kelly and explain to him what was going on at the hospital in a coherent way that didn't result in me swearing in front of all the kids.

'Hey.' He was dressed in his usual dark suit, shirt and tie. He looked as miserable as I felt.

'Hey. Bad day?' I don't know why I asked. The words left my mouth before I could stop them. I knew what the answer was going to be before he even spoke.

'We thought we had a lead but it just ended up leading us around in circles all day.' He answered gruffly, ruffling Jack's hair as he usually did but I could tell by his movements that he wasn't really here in the moment. His mind was somewhere else.

'I feel that - ' I murmured, so quietly I wasn't even sure if Aaron heard me.

'Anything happen with you?' He turned towards me and I swallowed. This was it. I couldn't keep this quiet any longer. It was eating me alive.

'Actually, yeah. There was something that I - '

'Look Dad! Look what we did today - ' Jack was dragging his backpack into the room, rambling to Aaron about how they'd basically spent the whole day painting. Aaron now appeared to be absorbed in the streaks of paint on the paper.

For the first time ever, I felt annoyed towards Jack. I'd been bottling this up for days now and I needed to get it out. And now my plan had been shattered by a child.

'Go and get your shoes on, buddy - ' Aaron said, rubbing his eyes with his palm. 'Sorry, you were saying?'

'It doesn't matter.' I mumbled, swallowing down my anxiety. I could see that Aaron wasn't all here, half of him was already asleep and the other half of him was still at the BAU. I would tell him another time.

I hated myself for not just spitting out the words.

I was a coward. I'd frozen, right at the minute, and had fallen for the excuses that Kelly had been telling me to avoid. Some days, we would both be exhausted from work and I couldn't let that get in the way of our lives.

Today felt different though. I was exhausted, yes, but I was buzzing with the energy of having kept my mouth shut over the last two days. I was on edge, and was dangerously close to falling off.

'There's an ice rink up in town, Dad!' Jack said as he tied his laces. 'Luke in my class went at the weekend and said it was awesome. Can we go?'

'We'll have to see, bud.' Aaron replied but I already knew the answer: something would come up with the case and he'd have to work and Jack would be shipped off to his Aunt's.

Jack looked so excited at the prospect of spending some time with his Dad but I knew that it wasn't going to happen.

'It's only in town.' I said gently, leaning against the kitchen counter. 'You should take him - '

'I know, but I'm busy with the case. We've got a ton of leads that we need to follow up and - '

'You've hardly seen him this week. It's nearly Christmas, you should spend some time with him.' I pushed, glancing back at Jack's hopeful face as he laughed about something with Lola.

'I'm chasing a group of murderers.' Aaron said bluntly and I tore my gaze away from Jack towards him. Why was being so defensive? I knew he had a case but it was Christmas, for God's sake, and he needed to spend some time with his son. Why couldn't he get that? 'Maybe you could take him? He likes you - '

'Right.' I murmured under my breath, turning towards the dishwasher and tidying away a plate. 'Because he's now my child. And I'm your glorified babysitter.'

'That's not what I said!' Aaron replied sharply, raising his voice slightly. 'Why are you being like this?' I raised an eyebrow at him, scoffing. My mind had gone blurry. I didn't know what I was saying. All I knew was that Aaron wasn't spending anytime with his son and expected me to pick up the pieces.

As if I didn't have my own shit to deal with.

'Of course you have to go to work, you always have to, don't you - ' I rambled, turning away from him as I wiped some residue off a mug. 'While some of us are being sued half a million bucks for doing jack shit - '

'What?' Aaron nudged my arm slightly, angling me away from the kids and I quickly moved away from him. His eyes were dark and stern. I was feeling slightly hysterical. The atmosphere between us was quickly turning angry.

'I told a patient she was clean and Marchmont said she wasn't and now I'm taking the crap for it, as per usual.' I snapped, my words sharp. I was bitter, bitter that this was happening to me. Aaron looked confused for a moment. I wanted this conversation to be over. I should never have told him. I wanted to sleep.

'And who's right? Did you make a mistake?'

'No - ' I said, Kelly's confidence ringing in my ears.

'You sure? I mean - '

'What?' So Aaron know thought that I couldn't do my job. Brilliant. 'What are you saying?' I didn't want to speak too loudly seeing as the kids were stood in front of me but I couldn't help it. Anger and panic were radiating out of me and I couldn't quash them.

'Everyone makes mistakes, Lizzy. And - '

'Thank you so much.' I hissed, blinking back the tears of frustration. 'That was just what I wanted when I'm about to lose my job and my entire career and my brother, if my Mom's anything to go off, and now my daughter. And the one person who I thought might understand just a little bit - '

My voice cracked and I turned away. If I carried on, I was going to end up having a screaming match with Aaron in front of the kids. And I wasn't going to do that, no matter how angry and hurt I was feeling right now.

'I'm not doing this right now.'

'Come on Jack, we need to get off.' Aaron said after a moment and Jack jumped to his feet.

I kissed the top of his head as I hugged him, not meeting Aaron's gaze. Jack looked so much like his Dad that it made me want to cry. My throat felt clogged but my head was fizzing with anger. I'd finally managed to get the words out and we'd argued over them.

I didn't think that was what Kelly had told me to do.

Aaron opened the front door, gripping Jack's hand and leading him down the path as Jack waved at me. I waved back, leaning my head against the doorframe. The cold of the night felt cleansing compared to the suffocating heat of the kitchen.

I waved goodbye, noticing how Aaron kept his eyes firmly on the road.  
   
***  
Two hours later, the girls were in bed and I'd given up trying to read my book and was lying on the sofa, surrounded by cushions. Kelly had texted me to ask what Mrs. Carter had wanted and I hadn't replied.

I'd spent the rest of the evening simply going through the motions, not really conscious of what I was doing and glad I didn't really need to think about it.

Lying here, doing nothing, was allowing me to re-live the last two days and they were spinning around like stuck records in my head. It was driving me crazy. I felt as though I was stuck in a hole that someone else had dug for me and now I couldn't get out. My mind was fuzzy. I couldn't think straight.

I'd thought Aaron would get it. But now he hated me too.

I'd shouted at him. I'd basically told him that he was a crap parent. And I knew that he had to work, I knew that he did and that he loved his work and that he was doing us all a favour. But I'd turned it into something personal, I'd let my own insecurities about him working so much get ahead of me and had basically condemned him for it.

I didn't realize I was crying until a tear dropped onto the cushion by my head. Thick, heavy tears were rolling down my face. Sylvie was right: everything was just a mess.

My face was hot and sticky with tears and my head was pounding.

It was supposed to be Christmas. And yet I was sobbing my eyes out, alone and exhausted on my sofa, trying not to make too much noise to wake the girls.

\- Well, that went well, didn't it? How's Lizzy going to sort things out?


	16. Quindecim

Upon waking up, I basically had to pry my eyes open with my tired fingers, my tears having welded them shut. My left arm was dead as a result of lying on it all night. My skirt felt tight and uncomfortable around my thighs.

I'd fallen asleep on the sofa.

I felt like shit.

I groggily rubbed my face with my hands, my eyes becoming used to the light filtering into the room, not even thinking about the mascara I was smearing over my face. My cheeks were still sticky with tears. I could only imagine how red and puffy my face was right now. My entire body was frozen into position and I knew that it was going to take some serious brushing to sort out my hair.

My cell was lying uncomfortably under my hip. I tugged it out from under me and checked the time. 6AM. Even when I felt like crap, my internal body clock still decided to work.

It was slightly earlier than I usually got up but I slowly pushed myself into a sitting position, running a hand through my matted hair and instantly getting it stuck in a knot. I was going to need a bit of time to make myself look human again.

Every metaphor about everything being better in the morning was being disproved by this exact moment. The space of 12 hours made absolutely nothing better; it just made me even more aware of how awful the previous night had been.

I was horrible to Aaron. I was apathetic and grumpy and cruel.

But then, he was a bit of jackass too.

I inwardly groaned, my head still pounding. I wanted nothing more than to crash back down into the cushions and sleep for another 7 hours. But I couldn't do that - I had humans to feed and patients to see.

It was supposed to be Christmas, if the décor of my living room was anything to go off. And if that was the case, why was everything falling to pieces? Every time I thought I had something under control, it would crumble to shreds in my hands.

And Kelly had told me that sharing my problems would help. So far, the only thing this whole sharing malarkey had helped me in was giving me a headache.  
***

Kelly's P.O.V  
I slammed down the phone and let out a sigh, deleting Lisa Palmer's name from the 9AM appointment slot. I couldn't work any bloody miracles. I was only in charge of the phone and the computer, not the entire world. I couldn't help that that time didn't suit her.

It was probably a good thing though, to be fair.

Lizzy had arrived 20 minutes ago after dropping the girls off at school, looking as though she's been dragged through a bush backwards. She'd hurriedly explained to me that she'd fallen asleep on the sofa after having her breakfast and Lola had prodded her awake, thus she'd had no time to sort her hair and makeup out.

This wouldn't have shocked me, if it had been anyone else telling me. But this was Lizzy. She always looked composed and pulled together, no matter the time or day. So to see her looking frantic and blotchy-eyed sent my alarm bells ringing.

I knew it was Friday and that everyone was tired and ready for the weekend but Lizzy had looked as though she'd ran a marathon between getting dressed and brushing her teeth.

I wasn't even sure if she had brushed her teeth.

The door to Lizzy's office suddenly opened and I carefully assessed her appearance. I'd known Lizzy half my life; I could tell what was wrong by the way that she looked. Or that's what I told myself.

The first thing that I noticed was that her makeup was heavier than usual. The bags under her eyes were dark despite the makeup and her cheeks looked slightly puffy. Her posture seemed lower, more hunched over. Her eyes looked a little bloodshot.

Her dress was a classic Lizzy choice - a fitted taupe skirt with a thick black belt and sleeveless white top. But the white seemed to wash her out. And instead of looking glamorous, her hair was looking almost...straggly.

And Lizzy didn't do straggly.

'You okay?' I asked nonchalantly, reaching for the sign-in sheet for Lizzy to sign. She wasn't stupid. She knew why I was asking.

'Yeah.' She sounded the same at least.

'You sure?'

'Why?'

'You look a bit tired.' I said after a pause as Lizzy handed the pen back to me. She knew that I could see the change in her appearance. I saw her pretty much every day. I picked up on even the little things.

'Obviously...' She murmured under her breath, gesturing to her face and I narrowed my eyes.

'What happened?' When she hadn't replied to my message about Lexi's teacher, I had instantly presumed the worse. What had she said? Was that why she looked so exhausted?

'We had a bit of a fight - ' Lizzy said quietly and I raised an eyebrow. That was not what I'd been expecting to hear.

'I'm going to hit him.' Lizzy smiled tiredly, pushing some hair from her face. I really was going to hit him, if their arguments resulted in her looking this awful.

'I'm fine, honestly.'

That was Lizzy speak for she didn't want to worry anyone with her problems. But at the moment, with everything that was going on with her and the bitch June Cabot, I figured she could be allowed to worry.

'You don't look it - ' I answered briskly. Lizzy opened her mouth to speak but Becky suddenly appeared at the end of the corridor, shouting her name. She shot me another sad look and disappeared.

Lizzy looked like a hurt, weak, little puppy who'd been left out in the cold. And that wasn't Lizzy.  
   
***  
2 patients into Lizzy's day, I couldn't handle it any longer. She had enough to think about right now without her relationship being a problem and weighing this heavily on her mind.

And while I still wanted to hit Aaron - I figured this wasn't exactly the best solution - I got the feeling that he could be too damn stubborn for his own good sometimes. Not that this meant Lizzy wasn't stubborn too, but she would let things slide and then think about them for weeks afterwards and let them pile up inside her mind, like a leaning tower of panic.

I'd already searched for the phone number for Aaron's office and hadn't been able to find it. I didn't want his personal one - he'd probably hang up on me and that would never work - as I needed to jump on him unexpectedly.

Thus, came plan B. I'd ring JJ whose personal number I did want and then ask to be put through to Aaron's office. I only hoped that no patients rang up in the next five minutes because they weren't going to be getting a reply.

Lizzy was ten minutes in to seeing a patient so I figured I was in the clear.

'JJ? It's Kelly Santiago. I need the phone number for Aaron's office.' I didn't give her chance to greet me. Lizzy didn't have time for that. 'It's important.'

'Oh, hey. Look, I think he's busy right now so - '

'It's really important.' I stressed, gritting my teeth. I was seconds away from ending the call and calling Penelope. The only reason why I hadn't was because I didn't want to get her into trouble. I heard JJ sigh. I smirked. I'd won.

'Okay, I'll patch you through. Give me a minute - '

Yes. I subtly punched the air

No one could say no to Kelly Luciana Santiago.

'Aaron Hotchner?' God, even the way he answered the phone was official.

'It's Kelly. You know, Santiago - ' I allowed him half a second to remember me before continuing. 'I know you're probably busy because when are you not busy but I really need to talk to you.'

'About what? Is everything okay?' I caught a glimmer of worry in his voice. At least I knew he wasn't a complete emotionless psychopath.

'Lizzy. And it depends what your definition of okay is.' Okay, maybe I could reel it in a little. She hadn't been in a car crash or anything. 'I don't need to know the details but what I know is that you had a fight and now Lizzy looks like shit.'

'I don't see what - '

'You don't get to talk right now, mister - ' I interrupted. I didn't care about his bullshit excuses right now. 'She's wearing a ton of makeup to cover her bags, it looks like she's been crying all night and she's practically translucent. You did not improve the situation by yelling, if that's what you were hoping to achieve. And she has enough shit going on at the moment so I'm not going to let you be another thing for her to worry about - '

I paused for a breath and was surprised to hear that Aaron didn't try to cut me off. He was actually listening.

'You need to go and talk to her. Tonight. Where she can say everything that she needs to say and explain all the shit that's happening...'

'What is going on?' Aaron asked. 'She said something about being sued and - '

'You need to hear it from her. I don't even understand half the shit that this bitch is putting her through. And you'd better apologise for being a dick to her, otherwise you're going to have me to deal with.'

Evan suddenly appeared in the corridor looking confused, clearly having caught my last few words. 'I need to go. See you...soon - '

I put the phone down, smoothing my hair back and tapping a few keys, as though I'd simply been talking to a patient. Evan raised an eyebrow at me but passed into the break room without a comment.

I wasn't pulling any punches with this. Anyone messed around with Lizzy and they had me to deal with, FBI agent or not.  
***

Lizzy's P.O.V.  
I brushed my semi-damp hair over my shoulder, wrapping the cardigan around my shoulders. I'd just stepped out of the shower after returning from my dance class and was dressed in my pjs - a simple cami and fleecy sweat pants. I wasn't even wearing a bra.

And someone had just knocked at the door.

I'd also just started getting cramps. So whoever this was, they were definitely getting me at my best.

Who was knocking at my door at 9:30 at night? Couldn't they just call me?

I cast a look in the mirror as I fumbled with my keys in the lock. I'd just taken all my makeup off and the bags under my eyes were stark in contrast to my pale skin. I had massive zit forming on my forehead as well as my red, blotchy cheeks.

I was loving life right now. And desperately hoping that this wasn't someone I needed to impress.

The blustery wind hit me head-on as I opened the door, my eyes instantly widening at the figure stood on my porch. He was wrapped in a thick black coat, still dressed in his suit and tie. Aaron.

I didn't know what to say. What was he doing here?

'Hey.' I leaned against the doorframe, wrapping my arms around myself. My heart was racing.

'Hey.' He replied softly, his eyes wide and solemn. 'I'm sorry that it's so late but I was hoping we could talk.'

I was still mad but the lines had become a little blurred - was I mad at Aaron or at the situation as a whole? And deep down I knew that our argument hadn't just been about my work. It was how Aaron was constantly dashing all over the place and I felt like I never saw him.

He had to split his time between his work and myself and Jack and everything else. And as much as I tried not to blame him for that, I was clearly failing.

'Sure, have a seat - ' That sounded more blunt than I had intended it to. I pushed off the doorframe, stepping back to let him enter and quickly closed the door behind him. The girls were long asleep but I didn't want to do anything that could wake them - it had taken me nearly an hour to get Lexi to stay in bed. 'Do you want a drink?'

'I'm fine, thanks.' Because this wasn't a social meeting. He had an ulterior motive.

I poured myself a glass of water and quickly took a paracetamol - I hated going to bed with cramps and it allowed me a second to breathe before approaching Aaron and sitting down next to him, him on the left side of the sofa, me on the right, the way we always sat.

'The girls at your parents?' He asked and I shook my head, gulping down some water.

'In bed. Where's Jack?'

'I've got a neighbor watching him, I said I wouldn't be long so...' He didn't expect this to take much time then. Good to know. I didn't know what to say. I'd pushed him and shouted at him and now I felt awful. But I also felt angry at him.

Our conversation starter was always about the kids, whether what they'd done that day or what they had coming up. It was one of our places of common ground.

I wished I'd switched the TV on the second I'd arrived because, that way, the room wouldn't have been so deathly silent. I looked down at my hands, tightly clasped around my glass of water, my nails short.

What was he going to say? He too was staring at his hands, clasped loosely in front of him. I hated silence. Did he hate me so much that he couldn't even speak to me?

The silence was eating away at my insides. I felt awful and it wasn't just because of the cramps.

'Please just...say something - ' I breathed, looking over at him, my words seeming to jolt him awake as he met my gaze, something changing in his expression.

'I was a jackass.' He said slowly, as though considering every single word. I held my breath. 'I shouldn't have taken my frustrations out on you. And I shouldn't have been so harsh. I was tired but that was no excuse for treating you - '

'So you don't hate me?' I asked quietly, reaching to place my empty glass on the coffee table. Aaron's brows furrowed, his eyes sincere and almost sad.

'Why would I hate you?'

'I was a jackass too.' I said, shrugging lightly, as thought it was obvious. I'd made everything worse by shouting at him. 'I should never have pushed you like that, I was being unfair.'

'You were right about some things.' He murmured, his eyes sliding to the floor. He looked almost...guilty and I hated that some of my words had struck such a deep chord with him.

But we were talking things out. And he didn't hate me.

'I still shouldn't have said them.'

'Can you forgive me?' His eyes softened and he looked so unsure as he spoke that I found myself smiling slightly.

'Only if you can forgive me.' I replied, leaning over to take his hand. He smiled and I remembered Pen telling me how, when he smiled, it was like staring directly into the sun.

He pulled me into his arms and I wrapped mine around his neck, burrowing my head into his shoulder and soaking up his warmth as he hands roamed across my back.

'I'm so sorry.' I murmured into his neck, lightly kissing his skin. His hands stopped moving and I felt him sigh. 'You work so hard and you're under so much pressure. I didn't mean it - '

'It's okay. You don't need to apologize. I'm in a serious relationship. I should spend more time with you.'

The word 'serious' struck a chord with me. While I'd thought we might possibly be committed to each other and it had been a nice thought, for him to say we were serious and that he cared about the relationship we were forming made my heart skip a beat.

I was realizing just how much I'd missed him over the last few days - his warmth and his security and how I always felt safe when he was around. I was going to cry; I could feel the tears building in my eyes. I was filled with the overwhelming need to tell him everything and I finally understood what Kelly had been talking about.

'Why don't you explain some things and I'll just sit here and listen?' He murmured into my shoulder and I nodded.

***  
It felt like an hour later. It might have been for all I knew - I'd lost all concept of time as I told practically every single second of the last two days. I felt as though a weight had physically been lifted from my shoulder.

And, true to his word, Aaron had simply held my hand and listened to me. And wiped away a tear when I'd started crying when I'd been talking about Lexi.

'I'm so sorry.' He repeated, for what must have been the eigth time in five minutes. 'I've been so stupid and let the case completely consume me and forget that I do have another life. But you couldn't have done anything. It's not your fault - '

'What isn't?

'Any of it.' I needed to hear this from someone outside of the hospital. That they believed in me and my abilities and reminded my brain that I was a good doctor.

'She thinks it's because Lex was born at 30 weeks.' I explained slowly. 'Emergency C-section. Being born prematurely can sometimes be part of the problem - '

'I didn't know that.' Aaron said and I nodded, smiling at the memory even though at the time it hadn't been particularly nostalgic. It had hurt like hell.

'She's always been a little troublemaker.'

'It definitely has taken away from her quality of life.' Aaron said confidently, smiling at me. 'She's one of the happiest kids that I've ever met.'

I knew that. I saw her smile and giggle everyday. But just for someone else to be able to see it and say it made me feel better.

Aaron reached into his suit pocket, bringing out a card holder and pried out a business card before returning it to his pocket. He handed it to me. It was for a lawyer's firm. My stomach clenched.

'He's an old friend of mine.' Aaron explained. 'And he's one of the best. Tell him you know me. He'll get you sorted.'

'Thanks.' I carefully placed the card next to my empty glass. If Aaron trusted him then I trusted him. If he was good enough for Aaron then he was good enough for me.

'You're a brilliant doctor.' He murmured, squeezing my hand and gently caressing the back of my hand with his thumb. 'And you've done absolutely nothing wrong.'

'Thanks.' His eyes were sparkling under the lights. 'Can we both agree that we need to talk about our feelings more?' Aaron chuckled and nodded.

'I should probably get back to Jack.' He said sighing, checking his watch and I nodded, watching him rise to his feet.

'I'll try calling him in a minute.' I'd already wasted two days. I wasn't about to waste anymore time.

'So we're good now?' Aaron asked, smirking slightly and I rolled my eyes.

'I suppose so.' I led him over to the front door, his hand still clutched in my mine. I didn't really want to let go. He paused by my side as I unlocked the door, the cold suddenly hitting me.

'Put some heat on it.' He muttered quietly and my brows instantly furrowed as I stared at his blank expression. 'What?'

'Have you just profiled that I've got cramps?' He shrugged.

'Maybe. I saw the paracetamol and guessed from there. And you were subconsciously guarding your stomach from me. People protect the parts of them that are in pain.' I rolled my eyes. Of course my boyfriend could profile when I was on my period.

'Clever man.'

'Do you want to meet up tomorrow?'

'What about the case?'

'I want to spend some time with you and the kids. I'm sure they won't miss me for a couple of hours.'

But I would.

'Okay, sure - ' I smiled, smoothing my hair out as the wind whipped against my face. 'We could go to the park? At, say, 11?' Aaron nodded.

'We'll meet you here.' I now had something to look forward to, something positive to distract myself from everything else that was going on that wasn't procrastinating.

'I can't wait.' He leaned forwards, his nose brushing slightly against mine as I met his lips. It was quick, the wind biting against my skin, but it still left me dazed. I'd missed him so much over the last few days that I needed to have a good sit down with myself.

But as he squeezed my hand and quickly pecked me on the lips again before heading for his car, I knew that that didn't matter. I was going to miss him when he wasn't here and that was okay. Because he was never far away and I knew that.

\- A cute moment between them! Thanks for reading!


	17. Sedecim

Closing the door, I leaned my head back against it, relief washing over me. I could now stop panicking for half a second because I knew somebody was on my side, someone who could actually help me out, at least with the whole lawyer thing.

I was smiling before I could stop myself, my mouth still tingling from the kiss. I hated myself for reacting like this. It had only been two days. I needed to get a grip. He went away for days, sometimes weeks, at a time. I'd have to be able to cope with that.

I rolled my eyes as Kelly's voice came into my head. She taunted me when I'd first starting seeing Aaron, saying that he looked like he'd give good homecoming presents, if I got what she meant. I'd tried to push this thought from my mind. It wasn't easy.

My cell started vibrating on the coffee table and I dashed to answer it before the tune could wake up the girls. Who was ringing me at this time? I rolled my eyes at the caller ID.

'What?'

'How are things?' I'd saved Sean's number after he'd texted me at work and I definitely hadn't expected to hear from him so soon. I felt like I could be honest with Sean, what you saw was what you got with him. And I appreciated that.

'Kinda crap but okay.' I said, slumping down onto the sofa.

'Then you make a good pair because Aaron was being a moody prick yesterday.' I rolled my eyes, smirking at his voice. I doubted Aaron had had time to be a moody prick.

'We had a fight.' Our conversation seemed to be almost insignificant, now that we were out the other end and we'd made things up. Kelly would tell me to remember our first fight and make it a national anniversary but I was kind of hoping that with time we'd forget about it.

That is, if I managed to get through the whole being sued a small fortune.

'So that's definitely why - '

'We're better now, though. He just came round and we talked it out. It was the case, really, I think - '

'It's always the case.' Sean groaned and he instantly reminded me of Kelly. Maybe I ought to set Sean and Kelly up? They definitely had similar personalities and Sean certainly wasn't bad looking. Or maybe that was just my sleepy brain talking. 'And what was your excuse?'

'That I'm being sued by one of my patients for telling her that she doesn't have cancer when she doesn't.' I said. 'And my daughter might have ADHD. Or ADD. And I've got cramps. And - '

'Okay, what?' I rolled my eyes and explained everything as quickly as I could: everything with June Cabot and Lexi and Aaron, while skipping the bits about my period. I doubted Sean cared to be honest. 'Why can't you just have normal people problems? Why do you always have to be so dramatic? But then, that's why you make such a good pair - '

'I didn't know you were so cheesy - ' I smirked, thinking how no one could possibly say that Sean didn't care about his brother. And it was kind of nice to know that he backed our relationship.

'I can be romantic when I want to be.'

'The girls are all so lucky, aren't they?' I teased, rubbing my eyes. 'And Aaron can be very romantic when he wants to be - '

'I am nothing like Aaron.' Sean scoffed, reminding me of the insistence Aimee spoke with whenever she said she was nothing like me which, in fact, she was.

'You have some things in common...'

'Like what?' Sean asked exasperatedly and I rolled my eyes, pausing for a moment as though I was thinking about it. I could name a handful of qualities that I picked up over the last couple of days that were similar - as well as many that were different.

'Fine, nothing...'

'I'm young, ruggedly handsome, funny, charming - '

'Modest too.' I added with a grin.

'That too. And Aaron's a grump - '

'I wouldn't quite say that.' I interrupted again. 'He smiles when I see him, at least most of the time.'

'How cute.'

'Go away!' I joked, thinking how I should have been having this light-hearted conversation with one of my siblings but one of those was practically on house arrest while the other was campaigning for his bail.

'Really though. I wouldn't worry about any of that stuff. You sound like you can handle yourself.' I'd only met Sean once and this was the third time we'd talked and yet he was already sure of my capabilities? If only it took that time for everybody to feel they could trust me.

'He gave me some lawyers number, I'm going to try calling him in a minute.'

'Now?' I knew that it was late and I knew I was probably hedging my bets but I didn't want to waste another moment. June Cabot was undoubtedly using every available resource that she had and I would be a fool not to use all my assets.

'He might still be up. And anyway, I could lose my job because of this. I'm not going to waste any more time.'

'Understood.' Sean said, silence hanging between us for a few moments. 'Do you think Aaron knows that we're talking? I keep thinking of creative ways to tell him but I'm coming up blank.'

I smiled in anticipation for the moment that we finally told him. He had such a teasing relationship with Sean and the fact that I was friends with him would only increase this. Still, it would be a pretty funny moment.

'I mean, he profiled that I was on my period so I wouldn't put it past him.'

'I don't know want to say that.' Sean replied, sounding a little awkward and I rolled my eyes.

'And that's okay. Night.'

'Night Lizzy.'

I ended the call, my eyes instantly locking onto the business card that was sitting on the coffee table. Was it stupid calling him at this time? Should I just wait until the morning? The fear was heavy in my chest. What would he say? What if it wasn't what I wanted to hear?

No. I had to. I needed to take some advice for once.

I had to face up to this, even if it wasn't what I wanted. And I had to fight for what I did want.

I picked up the card and dialed the number before I could talk myself out of it again. I held my breath.

'Hello, this is Peter Gladstone - ' I almost dropped my cell in surprise. What did I say?

'Hi. Err, my boyfriend gave me your number and - ' I started, my voice shaking slightly.

'Who's your boyfriend?' He sounded local and around the same age as Aaron, if not a couple of years older. Aaron had faith in him. I had to too.

'Aaron Hotchner.'

'That's a name I've not heard in a while!' He let out a chuckle. 'Me and Aaron go way back. I've not seen him for a few years though - how's he doing?'

The one thing I hadn't expected to be talking about was Aaron but at least it could diffuse some of the tension that was building up inside of me. I explained that he and Jack, because Peter asked about him too, were doing great at the moment. But that wasn't why I was calling.

'So, my name's Lizzy. Lizanne but, anyway. And I need your help, I - '

'Let me get a pen, love, I've a feeling I'm going to have to take some notes.' His voice disappeared. I would normally object to a complete stranger calling me 'love' but I could hardly have a rant at the man who was supposed to be helping me. And he'd hardly done it in a derogatory manner.

I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. I'd never ever predicted that I would have to hire myself a lawyer, but here I was. I was going to have to put up with it.

'So, why don't you start at the beginning? And I'll see what I think I can do.'

'You're not going to ask me any questions?' I asked after a moment. I'd never rang a lawyer so I didn't exactly have a lot to go off but I didn't think this was the norm.

'If you're dating Aaron, then you can't be that bad.' He joked. 'And I usually start with the details of the case rather than date of birth and whatever - '

'Right, okay...'

I explained everything in as much detail as I could remember, every single fact from Tzacky's emails and everything that I knew. Peter didn't interrupt once and I would have forgotten he was on the other line if I could hear him breathing in my ear.

'Consider myself on the case, then.' Peter said, finally, as I bit my lip. 'She can't sue you that amount of money based on so little actual evidence.'

'What - Really?' I didn't know what to say. He believed me? He didn't think it was my fault?

'Really. Can you get physical copies of all these emails? And any letters that she's sent to the hospital?'

'Yeah.' I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My mind was struggling to catch up.

'Don't answer any of her questions. Don't talk to her, or her lawyer, in person. If she asks to speak to you, wait for me to get there. You can say I'm representing you now. And can we meet up in person at some point? I might be old fashioned but I still like to see my clients face to face - '

'Sure, that's fine. Tomorrow morning? Or is that too soon - ' I had no idea how these things worked or how long he would need to get things moving.

'No, that's perfect. How about at that pancake cafes in town?' I knew which one he meant. There weren't exactly many pancake cafes in town. 'At 9?'

'Sure, I'll meet you then.'

The line went dead and I tossed my phone into the pile of cushions next to me. Everything was going to be okay. Everything would work itself out now.

At least I desperately hoped so.

\- Lizzy's finally taking some action! Thanks for reading!


	18. Septendecim

The next morning, it seemed as though we would have to change our plans. It had started snowing overnight and the temperature had dropped dramatically, freezing the snow on the roads and frosting up the windows.

Of course, the girls were ecstatic. They loved the snow and could happily spend all day outside if I let them.

I, on the other hand, was less of a fan. I disliked the cold almost to the point of hatred and was the main thing that had prevented me from settling in easily when we'd first moved to Virginia.

I missed the warm weather of Oklahoma even to this day, even if it had been 18 years. And even though the summers could be so hot that people would literally die of heatstroke, I would take that over the bitterly cold air.

I'd almost bailed on Peter and it had taken every ounce of my will to not pick the phone up and reschedule. But Aimee was already coming over and after having gone through the hassle of explaining the situation to my family, I couldn't let it all be for nothing. I needed his help, desperately.

We'd had a long chat over breakfast where I showed him all the emails and messages I'd received from both Terzaki and June Cabot herself. He'd reiterated what he'd said last night - she couldn't sue me 1 million dollars with such little evidence and I could consider him my lawyer from this point onwards.

We'd also, somehow, got onto talking about Aaron and Peter had told me some of his tales about when they'd met in Aaron's prosecuting days. He hadn't sounded like someone I would want to cross.

I was now bundled up on the sofa, a cup of tea clutched in my hands that I was using purely for warmth, as the girls played with their toys. Their swimming lessons had been cancelled as the roads weren't deemed safe enough and I was putting off the shopping hoping that the roads would thaw a little.

There was a knock on the door and I sighed, forcing myself out of my cocoon of blankets and towards the door. I felt sorry for whichever door-to-door salesperson was being forced to work in this weather.

I opened the door, cringing backwards against the freezing air. I blinked. I couldn't believe they were actually here. Had Aaron drove?

He and Jack were both wrapped up in thick coats and were wearing hats, gloves and scarves, their faces pinched against the cold.

Aaron must have caught me silence and smirked. 'Hey, don't tell me you forgot we were coming - '

I didn't know what to answer; not so much forgot rather than thought they valued their life more than they obviously did.

Jack was stomping around in the front garden and the girls had realized what was happening and remembered what I'd told them this morning as they started pulling on their coats.

'What?' Aaron repeated and I ran a hand through my hair.

'We're still going out?'

'Why not?' Aaron shrugged, rubbing his hands together. 'We need to make the most of the snow.'

'But it's freezing.' I pressed, knowing there was no amount of coats and scarves that would be able to protect me from the cold. 'I'm not going out in this weather.' Aaron rolled his eyes.

'Come on, it'll be good for you to get some fresh air.'

'Who's the doctor in this relationship?' I reminded him and Aaron chuckled. 'I know what's good for me and sub-zero temperatures are not it. Someone will hurt themselves or - '

Lola and Lexi suddenly ran past me, both dressed in their coats, hats and gloves and started stomping around with Jack in the snow. Aaron gave me a knowing look, the enjoyment clear on the kids faces. It was freezing. I wasn't doing this.

'It'll be fun.' Aaron insisted. 'We can go for some food afterwards but we'll need to work up to that - we could do a couple of laps and - '

'We could do what?' I half shrieked, crossing my arms. 'You want to go running?'

'We.' Aaron corrected and I groaned, leaning against the door. I wasn't a runner, especially when temperatures were near to freezing.

'Look, I support your life decisions but this, this is crazy. I'm not going for a run in the cold and the snow.'

'A walk then?' Aaron suggested and I rolled my eyes at how cute he looked all wrapped up. But I wasn't about to back down now.

'No. I'll freeze!'

'Lizzy - '

'Come inside before I hurt you for being so - '

'You're from Oklahoma where they also experience extreme temperatures.' Aaron said. So now he was trying to use facts to win me over, was he? It wasn't going to work.

'Not snow!' I insisted, Aaron giving me a hard stare. I sighed. 'Fine. It snows once every 5 years and that's it - '

'You're the one who suggested we go to the park.' Aaron continued, gesturing to the kids who were giggling in the snow. 'And Jack's really excited.'

'Don't blackmail me with your son.' I shot back, feeling my resolve crumble slightly at the sight of the kids having so much fun. I would hate to be the reason that Jack was disappointed...

'You don't have to run, you know.' Aaron continued with a small smile. 'There's plenty of benches.'

'I'm cold and I'm tired and I'm not going anywhere and if you think I am then you've gone insane over night.'

'Mom, can you hurry up? I really want to go and play in the park.' Lola said suddenly and I groaned. For fuck's sake. Aaron was smirking like an idiot and I knew I was outnumbered here four to one.

'I hate you all - ' I moaned, watching Aaron grin. I was freezing after just standing in the doorway. What would I be like after spending hours outside? But I had no choice. 'Just give me a minute.'

'Way to go Lizzy - ' Aaron cheered sarcastically, adjusting his striped scarf. I was going to put on practically every winter clothing item that I owned.

And I was a hoarder, so that was a lot of stuff.  
***  
Aaron had to practically lead me to the park as I dragged my feet pretty much every step of the way while the kids ran on ahead of us. I'd refused to let Aaron drive, saying it wasn't safe, so instead we were walking. And it was just as cold and I was just as miserable as I'd thought.

At the park, it was colder still with the wind blowing viciously through the trees and whipping across the semi-frozen pond.

The kids were messing around in the snow, letting it sink through their gloves and touch their skin. My feet were the coldest, even if I was wearing two pairs of socks. I wouldn't be surprised if all my toes snapped off. I'd already mentioned this to Aaron and he'd told me to suck it up and that he'd spent nearly a fortnight in Alaska on a case last year and that I didn't know the meaning of cold.

I'd rolled my eyes and sulked for a solid five minutes.

Compared to me, Aaron was wearing hardly any layers and I was marveling at the fact he seemed to be enjoying himself. Or rather, he was laughing at my discomfort which wasn't very supportive of him. I could have passed for a snowman.

'You've lived in Virginia for how many years?' Aaron teased, even though he already knew the answer.

'I'll go home if you're bullying me.' I complained, folding my arms in the hope of trapping more heat between my layers of clothing. 'I went and met Peter this morning.'

'So quickly?' I nodded.

'I didn't want to waste any more time. And he seems really nice. We talked about you a bit, too, and shared some amusing stories.'

'Of course you did.' He said with a roll of his eyes. I didn't mention how Peter had told me I was too pretty for Aaron. I was saving that tidbit for an future conversation when I needed something to tease him with. 'And?'

'I've got a lawyer.' It sounded strange to admit it, even if I'd finally begun to accept it.

'He won't let you down.' Aaron said confidently.

'And I told my parents this morning.' That had been an interesting conversation. Mom had felt very passive aggressive which wasn't a mode she went into very often.

'How did that go?'

'They were shocked. And a bit angry. But I don't know if that was more at me or June Cabot. I know I should have told them sooner but - ' I didn't have a reason other than my own cowardice. But now things were looking up.

'It'll all work out.' I nodded.

'How's the case going, Mr. Profiler?' I asked. I knew that avoiding the topic of work completely was never going to work in our relationship, seeing as our jobs were so closely linked to who we were.

'We've got five bodies.' Aaron said grimly and part of me was surprised that this number wasn't higher. 'And five more injured in hospital.' That was a development. Injured? 'Looks like they were attacked but couldn't be killed because they were ex-military, personal trainers or whatever. They picked the wrong targets which shows they're not as smart as they think they are.'

'That's not been on the news.' I checked every night to see what the developments were, trying to decipher between the gossip and the fact.

'JJ's been working very hard.' Aaron said ruefully. 'People don't need this eleven days before Christmas.'

'Don't you usually warn the public of something like this?'

'There's enough panic in the gay community already.' Aaron said slowly. 'The people they could target are already panicking. It doesn't make sense to increase the panic.'

'Any more suspects?' I knew that Sean had been able to give them some names but I didn't know if any of these had turned out to be helpful.

'We've had a lot of names to work through and most of them seem to be dead ends. Some of them have very complicated histories that we're trying to untangle. And the victims in hospital couldn't identify their attackers because they all wore ski masks.'

'The cops settled down?' Aaron pulled a face and sighed. That didn't sound good. I guess some of them didn't like the FBI stepping over their investigation, even if they were just there to help.

'What do you know about Mike?' Aaron asked slowly and I raised an eyebrow, suddenly feeling a hot flush run through me. That wasn't what I'd expected to be asked and not exactly what I'd wanted to answer. 'It can be anything, past addresses, jobs, contacts...It might give us some more information.'

'He was born in Wyoming, I think.' I said finally, focusing my attention on the kids rather than what I was saying. If I had my way, I'd never talk about Mike ever again but it looked like the world had other plans for me.

'Okay...'

'He was a sports trainer when I knew him so I don't know what happened to make him work in a club. He turned out to be a sexist dick - '

'We're going to look into him.' Aaron said, his eyes narrowing as I finished the sentence. I didn't want them looking into what exactly made him a sexist dick. That would bring up things that I'd only recently buried and wasn't ready to unearth. But I couldn't stop a federal investigation.

'And if you want more sexist dicks, there's two new ones at work - ' I joked but it was clear Aaron wasn't in a joking mood. He froze and started grinding his teeth, his eyes fixed on my face.

'What?' In all the chaos over the last few days, I hadn't mentioned Hartner or Gonzalez once.

'Two new doctors.' I explained carefully, trying not to go into a full on rampage on how much I hated Hartner. 'Hartner and Gonzalez. Hartner called me a Bible basher within five minutes of meeting him. And they keep staring at my boobs whenever I talk to them and - '

'Why haven't you mentioned this?' Aaron asked, his voice deeper and his eyes sharp. 'Have you made a complaint? You should do - ' The anger was clear in his voice and his tone. He almost looked scary. 'Have they said anything else?'

'I'm fine. I've been called worse.' I said. 'I've got it handled.' His face was still tense and I could visibly see the cogs in his head turning. 'What?'

'They might be suspects, you know.' No. I couldn't deal with all that again. I couldn't live with having another serial killer stalking the corridors and keeping me up at night. I opened my mouth to speak but I was cut off.

'Mommy? Can we make a snow man?' Lexi was peering up at me, her hat pulled down so far it almost covered her eyes.

'But snow's cold, sweetie.' I said grimly, knowing I'd explained how much I disliked snow many times before.

'I'll help.' Aaron said next to me and I saw him smirk.

'What's wrong with Mom?' Lola asked as Aaron began gathering some snow in his hands and showing Jack what to do. For fuck's sake. Aaron shot me a grin and I rolled my eyes.

'Stop ganging up on me with my kids!' I groaned, tucking my hair into the collar of my coat and tightening my scarf.

'Stop ganging up on me with my brother!' Aaron shot back and I had to suppress a smirk. If only he knew...


	19. Duodeviginti

That evening, I was still trying to defrost myself from our jaunt around the park. The fire was blazing in the hearth and I had a blanket wrapped around myself in addition to the thick cardigan and sweater I was already wearing. My toes still felt like icicles.

We'd spent around ninety minutes at the park and had afterwards gone to a nearby café for some food. I'd loved spending time with both Aaron and the kids like we were, well, a family.

I didn't know exactly what we were or what the technical term was but I knew that whatever it was, it worked for us.

I knew it was weird for the kids to try and figure out just exactly what we were but they were handling it pretty well. Jack called me Lizzy and the girls called Aaron, well, Aaron so while our routine might be a little awkward and we were still figuring some parts out, it seemed to work.

I wasn't going to push Jack to call me anything that he didn't want to call me. He could call me Lizzy for the rest of eternity if he wanted to.

I was just about to start on dinner, using the remnants of last weeks shop. The girls were playing upstairs, doing who knows what, since I'd told them they'd spent enough time outside today and I didn't want them getting a cold.

I opened the fridge, adjusting the blanket around my shoulders, when suddenly there was a knock at the door. I'd been getting a lot of unannounced house calls lately. Did the cold weather bring this out in people?

I opened the door to a sight that I had not expected to see: Jack wearing the same thick coat he'd been wearing earlier and clutching a backpack. Stood next to him was a woman I'd never seen before with blonde curly hair. There was something about her that stood out to me and I felt like I'd seen her before but I couldn't put my finger on it.

'Hey - ' I said, smiling down at Jack. 'What're you doing here?'

'I'm Jessica Brooks, Jack's Aunt.' The woman said and realization suddenly hit me - she was Haley's sister. That was why she looked so similar. I'd seen her in pictures around Aaron's house and I could see her in Jack too.

'It's nice to finally meet you.' I said, wondering what she was doing here. As far as I knew, there had been no plans made for Jack to spend the weekend with his Aunt. 'I'm Lizzy Harmon.'

She nodded, pushing some hair out of her face. She knew who I was. She'd heard of me. 'I wouldn't normally do this but something's come up at work that I really need to get to and I couldn't think of anyone else.'

'What's happened?' I asked, my eyes narrowing. Had something happened with the case? Or Aaron? Oh God, was he okay? Had he - 'Aaron?'

'He's ill.' Jessica said bluntly. 'Flu, I think. He'll be fine but he can hardly look after himself, never mind Jack too.'

'We went for a walk in the park this morning.' I said slowly, thinking aloud. 'It was freezing. That'll be why.' I hadn't thought about this outcome, what Aaron would do if he was sick and couldn't look after Jack.

'I've dosed him up with medicine and sent him back to bed.' Jessica continued and I instantly got the impression that she wasn't somebody to be messed with. I got the impression that Haley had been like that too.

'Good.' The only thing keeping me on my porch instead of racing over to Aaron's house to check on him was the child standing in front of me, the collar of his coat pulled up to keep his ears warm. Aaron would be okay. And right now, Jack needed my help.

'Are you alright with looking after Jack overnight? I can drop him back off at home tomorrow when Aaron's over the worst of it.'

'Sure.' I said quickly, not knowing exactly what I was saying? What if Jack didn't feel comfortable staying with me? What if he didn't feel safe? How did Aaron do things? 'Have you brought all your things?' Jack nodded, grinning up at me and I took a deep breath. 'Come on in, then - '

It was Jack. Everything was going to be fine.

'Thanks for this.' Jessica said as I moved aside to let him enter. 'I have to dash but - '

'Don't worry about it.' I promised her, ruffling Jack's hair a little as he passed me. 'It's nice to finally meet you.'

'You too.' She said, before hurrying back down the path and towards her car.

It was startling how similar I looked to her, blonde hair and blue eyes. How similar did I look to Haley? Everyone did say that Aaron had a type...

Lola let out a cheer and I turned to see her hugging Jack and I pushed these thoughts aside. I didn't know how I felt but I knew I didn't want to think about that right now.

'Look who's come for a sleepover!' I said, closing the door and locking it. Lexi was settled on the couch and had already put a film on. I thought that Jack might be a little nervous but no - he put his backpack by his feet and jumped onto the couch next to Lex.

I instantly felt myself relax. Jack was a little angel, really. The only thing I was going to have to do was make an extra portion of food and make up a bed for him. I didn't have anything to worry about.  
***  
After dinner of vegetable pasta bake, sitting through another film and snacking on popcorn, Jack picked which of the two spare rooms he wanted to sleep in and I made the bed up for him. He was now brushing his teeth with the girls and getting his pajamas on. It was taking a little getting used to that there wasn't only three people in the house, but Jack was absolutely no trouble.

'Can we watch another film, Mom?' Lola asked as she padded down the stairs, Jack by her side. While Jack was friendly with both of the girls, he and Lola were practically joined at the hip.

I checked the time, seeing that it was nearing 9PM. 'What time do you normally go to bed, Jack?'

'About 9.' He said cautiously, his eyes checking the clock. I didn't want to disrupt the usual routine that Aaron had created for him; I knew that a solid routine was important.

'It's the weekend, Mommy.' Lola pleaded and I rolled my eyes.

'Go on, then.' I caved, seeing their faces light up as the settled back onto the couch, the opening credits of The Avengers filling the screen.

I'd been researching ADHD in children on my laptop for the last half an hour, steadily taking notes about anything I found interesting or thought would be important. One of the main things it said was that children needed a routine that they knew and were used to, which would make tasks easier for them to accomplish.

And I'd just destroyed this rule by allowing them to stay up past their bedtime.

I couldn't think of too many things at once, otherwise I was going to lose it. I needed to tackle things one at a time and right now what I really needed to do was meal plan. Everything else would have to wait.

Yet as I closed my laptop and pulled my notebook towards me, Aaron's words were still ringing in my ears. Were Hartner and Gonzalez really involved in the cult that was taking control of the city? Gonzalez wasn't white so that was one aspect of the profile that he didn't fit but this didn't calm me.

I couldn't actually see them as killers as much as I disliked them but, then again, I had never imagined Tomas as a killer and he had murdered six people. I was going to have to keep my eyes open for anything suspicious.

And Mike, too. The chances of him being involved in the cult, seeing as he worked at the bar and seemed pretty handy with a gun, were high.

I had another appointment with Natasha on Monday. Maybe I could ask her some questions about Mike and see if she knew anything? But that was sure to make things more awkward than they already were.

However, it seemed like I had very little choice. The BAU and the cops were yet to find a clear suspect and manage to locate him. And the longer it went on, the more people who would end up dead.

I rested my head on my hand and cast my eyes around the room, smiling as they landed on the kids who were snuggled up under some blankets together. They looked so cute together that it made me smile without even trying.

I highly doubted that Aimee, Joe and I had looked so cute when we had been younger - especially considering there was a six year age gap between myself and Joe, and seven years between myself and Aimee.

From what I could remember, my childhood had mainly consisted off Aimee annoying everybody every minute of every day. She'd been a diva since the day she was born and I felt almost glad that I'd missed the majority of her teenage years while I'd been at med school.

My phone buzzed next to me and I picked it up, seeing Pen's name flashing across the screen.

'Hey Pen! Is everything okay?'

'Do you know where Hotch is? I've been trying his phone for ages but he's not answering.'

'He's probably asleep.' I answered. 'He's got flu and he's been banished to his bed.'

'Oh. I'll let the rest of the team know. I just wanted to run a couple of things past him.'

'How are things going? Have you found anything yet?' I knew that Pen often found it frustrating when she couldn't find out any helpful information, seeing as she wasn't out in the field.

'I've been trying to find a link between all the murders but I haven't found anything yet. It doesn't help that they're all done by different people so trying to find a link is proving kind of tricky.'

'You'll find something, I know it.' Penelope was one of the smartest people that I knew, which considering I worked in a hospital, was saying something. 'How do you know Hotch is ill? Is he alright?'

'He'll be fine in the morning, he just needs to sleep it off. And Jessica came around about two hours ago with Jack. She can't look after him and neither can Aaron so he's staying with us for the night.'

'Aww, that's so cute!' Pen squealed and I rolled my eyes, smirking.

'Really?'

'Yes! I'm going to tell the team, that'll perk them up.'

'I'm glad we amuse you.' I deadpanned.

'You do. And it's nice seeing Hotch get more in touch with his feelings.'

'We're still working on it.' I smirked. 'And I better let you go. I don't want to be told off for impeding a federal investigation.'

'Like anyone would tell you off.' Pen chuckled. 'You're practically in the FBI with Hotch and your Dad - '

'Can you tell the others that Aaron'll be MIA for a bit? I'll go and check on him tomorrow - '

'Sure.'

'And if you need to get in touch with him, you can always call me.'

'On it, boss.' I rolled my eyes.

'Have fun!'

'I plan on it!' She hung up and I listened to the dull ringing on the other end. I always felt compelled to end our conversations by telling her to stay safe, even if she did barely ever leave the BAU building. But when I didn't say it, I always started to panic that that was the last time I'd ever get to speak to her.

I knew that it was stupid and highly illogical and irrational but I couldn't help myself. I guess Mom being a cop and Dad being in the FBI had conditioned me to be paranoid. I knew that things could happen at any time and could go wrong in the blink of an eye.

\- Thanks for reading!


	20. Undeviginti

I pulled up in front of Aaron's house, killing the engine. It was just past lunchtime the following day and after a morning of pancakes, pillow fights and laughter I'd come round to check on Aaron.

Jack had been an absolute dream and while at first I was worried that he might not be able to sleep, it turned out that I had nothing to be concerned about. The fact that he felt safe enough to sleep peacefully in my home made me happy in myself. But Jack wasn't the person that I needed to look after right now.

I'd come stocked up with food supplies and medicine, seeing as I didn't know just what stage of illness Aaron was currently at. To be fair, I didn't even know if he was awake. I'd sent him a text which he hadn't replied to a couple of hours ago so I was now holding my breath.

I knocked on his front door after having a peek through the curtains and seeing no sign of life. I didn't have a key so I was praying Aaron was well enough to move from his bed. The kids were stood behind me, Jack clutching the Get Well Soon card that they'd spent an hour making last night. I was still hovering the glitter out of my carpet.

After a few seconds, I heard slow footsteps moving in the corridor and let out a breath. He was still alive, and moving, so that had to count for something.

The door opened and I shot Aaron a sympathetic smile as I took in his appearance. His dark hair was dishevelled, his skin coated in a thin layer of sweat and his face pale. He was clutching onto the doorframe so tightly that if he let go, I was afraid he would collapse. I didn't want to say it but I had to, otherwise I knew he'd insist he was fine.

'You look terrible.' I said bluntly and he rolled his eyes as Jack pushed past me and wrapped his arms around Aaron's leg. I would have thought this was outrageously adorable if I wasn't suddenly worried about Jack contracting whatever Aaron had. 'I don't know whether you should be doing that, Jack.'

'Hilarious.' Aaron rasped, gently prying Jack away from him and taking the card that was in his hands with a grin.

'How do you feel?'

'Fine.' I gave him a hard look. I knew he'd say that.

'You don't look fine. You look like you have a fever.'

'I'm fine.' He insisted again, stepping aside so that we could enter. I instantly knew Aaron wasn't feeling fine; his body was so out of whack he hadn't realized that his front room was freezing.

'Then why aren't you at work?' He rolled his eyes and looked off to the side.

'Dave said I needed to take a day off and that I wasn't helping anyone by being sick. Apparently I didn't look too good - ' I gave him a look, as if to say 'I told you so' before turning towards the central heating system and cranking up the heat. He was never going to get better if he ended up with hypothermia.

'You need to get back in bed, mister.' I said, gently, looping an arm around his shoulders to give him some support. Aaron sighed but ultimately agreed, staggering back in the direction of his bedroom. He didn't seem to be too confident walking which was just another indicator to me that he wasn't feeling 100%.

'How long have you been in those clothes?' I asked, placing my hand on his shoulder to steer him towards the bed.

'Why? Do I smell?' He suddenly look concerned and I shook my head, fluffing up the pillows on the bed. He seemed to forget that I worked in a hospital. I had definitely smelled worse than a sweaty man.

'I've smelt worse. Trust me - ' I pressed my hand to his forehead as he lay down and it was how I predicted: he was burning. His eyes were fixed on my face and I smiled, not wanting to freak him out. Patients rarely responded well to you telling them that they were seriously ill and were not fine. 'You've got a bit of a fever.'

'You don't have to look after me, Lizzy.' He said as I sat down on the edge of the bed, rolling the sleeves of my cardigan up to my elbows. He looked so innocent and childlike, curled up under the duvet, his hair sticking up.

'I know. But I want to.' I said, smoothing out his hair. 'And I want to get some liquids down you. You're going to be seriously dehydrated with sweating so much.'

I quickly retrieved some of the drinks that I'd brought with me from the kitchen, noticing how impeccably kept the rooms were - was that down to Aaron or Jessica? I placed the bottle of water, bottle of orange juice and bottle of fizzy, carbonated energy drink that I'd found on his nightstand.

'I want you to drink all of them. You'll feel better afterwards.

'All of them?' He complained, sitting up against the pillows and I smirked slightly. Even when he was ill, he was ridiculously stubborn. 'I don't like that flavour.' He gestured to the bottle of fizzy stuff and I rolled my eyes.

'I don't care. I'm the doctor and you'll do what I tell you to do.'

'I don't want to be one of your patients.'

'Tough, you are.' I shot back, taking the bottle of water and unscrewing the lid. 'What have you done today?'

'Slept.' He said after a moment and I nodded, opening the other two bottles.

'That's good. That's your body repairing itself.' Aaron still didn't move towards the bottles and I rolled my eyes, handing him the bottle of orange juice. 'Drink it. Imagine it's beer.'

'I can do that.' He said, taking a large gulp and wincing slightly. 'How's Jack been?'

'Perfect. He's a little angel.'

'He's not ill?' I shook my head. Thankfully, he seemed fine. I hated seeing kids being ill. That was one of the reasons I didn't work in general paediatrics. I saw minors sometimes, but they were all usually over 16.

'Good. I'm sure one of the cops passed it on to me.'

'All the more reason not to like them.' I joked, straightening out the duvet. It felt damp with sweat and I knew that I needed to change all the bedsheets at the nearest opportunity.

'I'm sorry that I had to drop Jack on you like that.' Aaron said, pausing for a minute. 'Jessica said I needed to rest.'

'I definitely agree with that. And you didn't drop him on me. I wanted to look after him. And it was nice to meet Jessica.' I didn't mention how startled I'd been when I realized how similar we looked. That could wait, at least until his temperature returned to that of a normal human being. 'Have you eaten anything today?'

'No.'

'Last night?' He shook his head.

'I didn't think I could stomach anything.' That meant he'd gone almost twenty four hours without eating anything. That, coupled with his fever and dehydration, showed just why he was feeling and looking so awful.

'I'll make you something.' Aaron made a face of protest as he finished the last gulp of the energy drink.

'I'm not hungry.'

'Hold that thought.' I said, standing up from the edge of the bed. 'You haven't tried my miracle butternut squash soup.'

'I don't think we have - '

'It's a good reason I brought some with me.' I continued, running a hand through my hair and holding up my hand to block any more of his protests. 'Drink your liquids.' He pulled a face yet reached for the bottle of water and I smiled. 'Good boy.'

'I think Dr. Harmon is enjoying this too much.' He croaked with a roll of his eyes and I shrugged.

'I don't know what you're talking about.'  
***  
After making my miracle butternut squash soup, I poured some into a bowl and allowed it to cool. In the meantime, I unpacked the food that I had brought with me. He wouldn't need to go shopping for at least a week and a half, meaning it was one less thing for him to worry about.

I placed the bowl of soup on a tray along with a hunk of bread and carried it into Aaron's bedroom. He was fully sat up, the bottle of water held to his lips while the other two bottles lay empty on his nightstand.

'I'm half done.' He announced, gulping down some more of the water. I raised an eyebrow at him as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

'Did you actually drink it? Or did you pour it down the sink?'

'Scouts honour.' He saluted and I smirked, handing him the spoon. He definitely seemed perkier, but he still looked feverish. I'd been planning on feeding him myself but he seemed like he was up to it.

'You need to eat something.'

'This smells amazing.' He said, cautiously bringing the spoon to his lips. It had been tried and tested by practically every person in my family and they all said that it made them feel better. 'And it tastes really good.'

'Great. Because even Batman needs soup occasionally.' I teased and Aaron rolled his eyes.

'I'm not Batman.' He murmured.

'Superman then.' I grinned. Aaron looked at me for a moment before raising his eyebrow.

'No, Batman. Jack says he's cooler.' I grasped the hand that was holding the spoon and gently lowered it.

'Take your time. I don't want you being sick.'

'I don't want you cleaning up my sick.' He shot back and I rolled my eyes.

'Again, I've handled worse. But this probably isn't the time for all my medical adventures.' Aaron probably didn't want to hear about my years in the maternity wards when he was just about keeping down liquids and a mouthful of soup.

I'd learned the hard way that butternut squash soup stained. I'd have to throw all of his sheets out. At least that was one way to get rid of them.

'It's definitely working, though. I am feeling better.'

'Good. But you're not going anywhere yet.' I said firmly, feeling Aaron's forehead again. He was still burning up. 'You've not been discharged.' I waited a split second. 'I'm not being too pushy, am I? I know you're going to be fine and can look after yourself but - '

'I'm glad you're here.' He answered, squeezing my hand. It was easy for me to get side-tracked sometimes and I had to remind myself that I wasn't currently working in the hospital, even if I was only trying to make people feel better. 'Even if I am pretty gross right now.'

'I like you, even when you're gross.' I promised, smoothing his hair over his forehead, feeling the sweat that was coating it. I was going to have to do something soon if I wanted to stop him from becoming delirious. I was hoping the electrolytes in the energy drink and the orange juice would buy me a little more time.

And even at a moment like this, when he was looking at me like I was the only person in his entire world as I nursed him back to health, I still couldn't say that I loved him. The words wouldn't leave my mouth. I could only say that I liked him, even though I was sure what I felt went much deeper than that.

I let go of his hand and let him take another spoonful.


	21. Viginti

'How you feeling?' I'd left him alone for the last twenty minutes, knowing it would be unnerving just to sit there and watch him eat. He'd managed to keep everything down which I'd taken as a good sign so had gone to sit with the kids for a while.

'Breathing is a lot easier.' I sat down on the edge of the bed, easing the tray of his lap and holding my hand to his forehead before sliding it down his neck. His skin was still feverish. I watched him swallow as I drew my hand away.

'You've still got a fever. It's not doing you any good staying in those clothes, either. Think you can handle a shower?'

'That sounds like bliss.' Aaron said, running a hand through his hair. I placed the tray on his nightstand and moved off the bed, holding out my hand in case he needed it to balance as he swung his legs out from under the duvet

'Make sure you take it slowly. I don't want to have to save you.'

'Yes ma'am.' I rolled my eyes as he slowly stood. His t-shirt and shorts clung uncomfortably to his body, presumably with sweat.

'Where do you keep the bedsheets?'

'Third shelf in that cupboard.' Aaron said, gesturing to a door at the far side of the room. 'Why?'

'It's making you more ill by lying in your own sweat. And don't look at me like that!'

'You don't need to do that, Lizzy.' He sighed, leaning back against the wall. I wasn't sure how long he'd be able to stand unsupported. This could be a problem, seeing as he was about to step into the shower. And while I'd seen many naked people before, none of them were Aaron.

And that was something that both excited and terrified me.

'I'm the doctor and I promise this will make you feel better. Trust me. Please. I want to do this.' He sighed again and his face relaxed.

'Fine. I trust you.'

'Now go and enjoy your shower.' I said firmly, gesturing to the bathroom door. 'Shout if you need anything. I promise I'll close my eyes.' Aaron slowly padded away, murmuring something under his breath that I couldn't hear.

***  
While Aaron was in the shower, I stripped the bed and re-made it with fresh, clean sheets that didn't stink of sweat, misery and something else that I couldn't name that was so distinctly him. I also loaded the washing machine with his old sheets and clothes, loaded the dishwasher and opened a handful of windows to allow the stale air to leave the room.

I didn't hear any yells for help, so presumed that he'd been able to remain standing and I didn't have to go in and rescue him. Not that I would have objected...

When I'd heard the water stop running, I laid out a fresh pair of shorts and a t-shirt for him. The kids were still happily playing in Jack's room so I left them to their own devices, arranging the throws on the sofa and bringing more bottles of water for when he emerged from the shower.

'Thank you so much.' He said, once he was tucked under some blankets, his feet in my lap. I would have preferred him to lie the other way round so I could play with his hair but I couldn't exactly complain.

'It's what I'm here for.' I said, turning away from whichever reality TV show was playing. 'I'm a doctor. It's literally what I'm here for.'

'Your humour knows no bounds.'

'How about a movie?' I said, ignoring his comment. 'Barbara Streisand? You don't strike me as Bride Wars kind of guy - '

'I'm afraid to ask...'

'Funny Girl? Or The Mirror Has Two Faces?'

'I've not seen either so...'

'Mirror then.' I said beaming, gently moving his feet off of me as I stepped towards the TV. I didn't want to admit that I'd only brought Mirror with me. 'Prepare to be amazed. It's one of my favourite films ever.' He let out a small moan and I whipped around, thinking he was in pain but he was smirking instead.

'Great. So that means it's a musical - ' I gasped in mock outrage and rolled my eyes. If he didn't like musical, which was something I was going to have to change, then Funny Girl definitely wasn't for him.

'Musicals are great. And you told me you didn't mind them...'

'Lizzy - '

'Not every film I like is a musical, although that would make an interesting re-make. It's about two Ivy League professors who fall in love.' I took the DVD case from my bag and inserted the disk, watching the opening credits before standing. 'Want some tea?'

'Sure, thanks.'

'Where the hell do you keep the teabags? I couldn't find them before - ' There was a sudden knock at the door and I looked over at Aaron. 'Expecting any visitors?' He shook his head.

Whoever it was, I was going to have to warn them that they might want to consider a bio-hazard suit before entering; I wasn't entirely sure how contagious Aaron's symptoms were. But Jack seemed to be fine, so hopefully I wouldn't wake up in a cold sweat tomorrow morning.

'What the hell?' I breathed exasperatedly as I opened the door, my mouth dropping open slightly.

'That's one trait that we have in common. All Hotchner men feel better when a beautiful woman gawps at them.'

'Sean?' gasped Aaron from the couch and I sighed. I felt like there hadn't been a day when I hadn't had some contact with him recently and conversations with Sean Hotchner were tiring. 'What are you doing here?'

'You don't look like you're on death's door anymore.' He said cheerfully, tearing his gaze away from me to look at Aaron. 'You've been brought back from the brink.'

'I was hardly dying.' Aaron said and, I mean, he wasn't exactly at the peak of health a couple of hours ago.

'Are you going to let me in? It's not very nice to leave people standing in the cold.' I sighed, stepping back to let him enter as he shot me a wink.

'What are you doing here, Sean?' Aaron asked, pushing himself up onto his elbows and throwing the blankets off himself.

'I thought I'd check up on my dying brother. Jess called me asking if I could look after Jack but I was busy. It seems as though you got a better replacement, anyway.' I rolled my eyes, sitting back down next to Aaron.

'Why don't you just invite everyone round?' Aaron complained.

'Stop being so grumpy.' I said, lightly tapping the soles of his feet and smirking when he suddenly pulled away from me.

'Your replacement doesn't try to corrupt my son.' Aaron said firmly, shooting Sean a sharp look as he opened the fridge and started rooting around.

'Where is Jack, anyway?'

'Upstairs.' Sean then proceeded to yell Jack's name up the stairs, so loudly that I was sure my eardrums had actually burst.

'How are you feeling?' I asked, re-tucking the blankets around him and pressing a hand to his forehead.

'You ask that every ten minutes.' Aaron said with a small smile.

'It's a habit - '

'Much better.'

'You sound better.' His voice was no longer raspy and croaky. 'But you still look like you're going to keel over so don't get too excited.' He pulled a face when I said this and I rolled my eyes, leaning forwards to press a hand to his neck and a kiss to his slightly clammy lips.

We only drew apart at the sound of childish giggling and gagging sounds coming from behind me. The kids were crowded around Sean, with Jack clinging on to Sean's leg and smiling, while Sean was pretending to retch.

He really needed to meet Joe.

'What?' Sean shrugged when Aaron raised a brow at him. 'It was them!'

'Was not!' Jack said.

'Couldn't stick up for me just this once, could you!' Sean pouted and Jack giggled.

'Nope!'

'On that note, Jack seems to have spawned over night.' Sean gave me a pointed look and gestured to Lola and Lexi. I rolled my eyes as Jack introduced them both.

'They're my spawn.' I clarified.

'I guessed that far.' I rolled my eyes, turning to see that Aaron had reached for his cell that was resting on the arm of the chair.

'What are you doing?' I asked.

'Texting Dave to see if there have been any developments in the case.' My conversation with Penelope suddenly came flooding back into my mind. I'd completely forgot.

'Pen called me yesterday. I forgot to tell you. She hadn't managed to find anything yet - ' He nodded and sighed slightly, completing his message before sending it.

'Dave might need me to come in - ' He said, putting his cell down and looking over at me. I felt his forehead again and gave him a sharp look.

'You're not moving off this sofa until I say so. You need to wait until your fever breaks, or at least until the film has finished. You'll be infecting the whole precinct otherwise.'

The kids rushed out of the room, talking among themselves, as Aaron begrudgingly lay back down again and Sean sat down in the armchair across from us, a beer in his hand.

'I take it Aaron's told you about me, then - ' Sean said, smirking slightly, knowing that we'd had more conversations than the one in the BAU.

'Possibly.' I replied, shrugging.

'What's he said? Nothing bad, hopefully. Because none of the bad stuff is true, he made it all up and - ' He rambled.

'To be honest, he's not said much more other than you exist.' I grinned, shooting Aaron a look.

'How rude.' Sean looked stonily in Aaron's direction and Aaron sighed.

'You never answer my messages. I'd texted you something a month ago and you still haven't replied to that.'

'I'm busy, man. I have a life - ' Sean said, holding his hands up.

'Lizzy is a working single mom and still finds time to reply to me. And, usually, she's the one texting me.' He smiled at me and I grinned back, hearing Sean sigh loudly.

'Alright, I get the point. I know how amazing and beautiful she is, I don't want to start throwing up everywhere. You're sickeningly cute you two, you know that - ' He said standing up and raising an eyebrow at me before walking back into the kitchen.

I didn't think I'd ever been called sickeningly cute before. I wasn't entirely sure it was a compliment either.

'Can I have some soup? I'm starved - ' Sean gestured to the pot that I'd left simmering on the stove.

'Are you sick?' I asked.

'Yes. I'm love sick because you're taken.' He grinned and I rolled my eyes, hearing Aaron sigh.

'Just don't have all of it because some of it is for Jack's tea.' I warned him, turning back to the film. I'd missed the first twenty minutes already and I loved this film.

'Was that a compliment? The love sick thing?' I murmured quietly to Aaron as Sean started fiddling with the radio.

'With Sean it's hard to tell.' Aaron said, sitting up fully so he could take my hand. 'But it's clear that he likes you. And he doesn't like everyone.' It seemed that Sean liked anyone who would banter with him.

'Sean's definitely my favourite Hotchner. After Jack.' I said with a grin, watching Aaron roll his eyes.

'That was cruel - '

'Fine, Jack's my favourite Hotchner and you're a close second.'

'We're both enticed by your natural charm.' I blushed slightly, and looked down at the hand that was clutching Aaron's.

'I really am going to throw up in a minute.' Sean called from the kitchen, a bowl of steaming soup in his hands. 'And that wasn't a jab at the soup, either, because it's really good. I might steal the recipe from you.'

'You'll have to fight me for it.' I joked.

'You really will.' Aaron added.

'I don't doubt it.' Sean said with a smirk. 'I can see under all the friendliness and the charm, that you can be a real wildcat when you want to be.'

Again, I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or not. But I knew that Sean may have just made a lowkey High School Musical reference. And that definitely made me want to like him.

\- Thanks so much for reading guys!


	22. Viginti Unum

After what seemed like an age, it was finally the last working week before Christmas. In less than ten days, the big day would finally be here. And, in the spirit of sharing things with others, I'd started sharing some of the things that had been on my mind.

Mainly, the whole Mike fiasco. Aaron had said it was okay to talk about it so I'd called Kelly and explained the entire thing. She'd been outraged that I'd kept it a secret for so long, which I'd expected, and called Mike a lot of unsavory names, which I'd also expected. She'd joked that if he showed his face again she'd drop kick him into Canada.

And that really was Kelly summarized.

On the Monday morning, I actually arrived in time for the morning briefing. It mainly consisted of Terzaki telling us that even though it was the last week before the holidays, we couldn't afford to slack off and it was still business of usual. He wanted to try and get through as many patients as humanly possible before the holidays which is what the head of department said every year.

But every doctor sat around the table, including Evan, knew the truth. The last week was just a mad panic and by the end of it everyone ended up going crazy.

Although this year might be slightly different, on the account that members of staff kept bringing me drinks and snacks. And it wasn't just Kelly, Sylvie and Becky but random members of staff that I was sure I'd only talked to once. Everyone seemed to be pitying me because of what was happening with June Cabot and while I didn't reject the bottles of flavoured water or doughnuts, I wished they'd just stop.

I knew everyone meant well and it was a way of showing their support but I didn't want to wallow in a pool of my own self-pity. I wanted to get on with the job. And trust that Peter could get me out of this mess.

Kelly was the worst and said that she needed to keep bringing me sugary snacks so that I didn't just lie on the floor in the fetal position and stay there, which was probably true.

I began to tune out of the conversation when Terzaki started talking about some minor budgeting concerns; I knew we needed to save money in any way we could already. I had something else weighing heavy on my mind.

In the course of one night, two more men had died - one man had been found dead in an alley and another had died in hospital because of his injuries.

The hotline was inundated with false claims and empty tip-offs that never led anywhere and I hadn't talked to Aaron since he'd gone back to work yesterday afternoon, when the film had ended.

I knew they'd brought a handful of suspects in, thanks to Penelope, but I didn't think it had gotten them anywhere. They had no idea how many people were actually in the group which effectively left them an infinite number of unsubs to profile.

My appointment with Natasha was today and I'd decided to ask her some questions about Mike. Our relationship couldn't get any worse and it was the only thing I could think of that would help. Everything I knew about Mike was a lie. Hopefully, he'd been a little more honest with her.

Sylvie nudged me slightly with her arm as she reached for her coffee and I startled, tuning back into the conversation, shooting her a small smile. Across the table from me was Hartner and Gonzalez. We never usually had meetings with the surgeons but one of the boardrooms was taken up with all the Christmas decoration boxes so we had no choice.

Gonzalez was staring down at the pad of paper in his hand, looking as though he was at least attempting to take notes. Hartner, on the other hand, was looking down the table in the direction of Terzaki, though his eyes were pinned on Evan who was sat next to him.

And he wasn't staring in a friendly way. It was the way Aimee looked when someone stole her takeout - as though she was ready for revenge and whoever was on the receiving end should start running now.

Evan usually gave as good as he got and on any other day would have stared back at him, his gaze unflinching. But today, he was looking up at Terzaki, a tense look on his face, his hands fidgeting on the table. He was definitely uncomfortable.

I glared back at the pair of them, Hartner catching my eye and beginning to smirk while Gonzalez pursed his lips. I still didn't know what to make of him. Was he a dick too? Or was he just too caught up in Hartner's bubble?

I'd been trying to push them out of mind lately, knowing that I had more important things that I needed to focus on. I'd been trying to think of a time where I could go and see Lexi's teacher again because the longer I left it, the guiltier that I felt. I couldn't help thinking that I was slowly making life more difficult for her.

What's more, no new details had come through about my case over the weekend. And this form of radio silence made me feel even more nervous the more that I thought about it. I had to have complete confidence in Peter. He'd sort things out for me. I was still going to give him a call later.

Terzaki finally stopped talking about budgeting concerns and asked Evan if there was anything he wanted to say, cheerfully introducing him as the newest board member. Something clicked in my mind and everything suddenly became a little bit clearer.

There had been an empty spot on the hospital board after a doctor in Rheumatology had finally retired. Gonzalez and Hartner had been at the hospital a matter of days at this point and after much deliberation, Evan had taken the spot.

He'd fully deserved it, really, even though he could be a bit of a moron sometimes. But it finally dawned on me that both Gonzalez and Hartner had also applied for the board position and had been turned down. That could be part of the reason why they were intent on attacking him.

They were attacking him for something that he couldn't possibly control, which the pair of them dicks to begin with.

And I'd almost forgotten about the Bible basher comment. Almost.

I decided then that at the end of the briefing I was going to go and talk to Terzaki about everything that had been going on. Hartner, at the very least, shouldn't be allowed to go around saying what he had without anybody saying anything about it. And the jury was still out on my opinion on Gonzalez.

That said, I didn't think they'd done anything else since I'd spoken to Hartner in the corridor. Becky hadn't mentioned anything. But that didn't mean they hadn't; Evan wouldn't be acting the way that he was if everything was normal. They were intimidating and controlling him and I wasn't going to let Evan go around living in fear for any longer.

Terzaki then reminded us that it was the floor's Christmas party on Thursday at a bar downtown. I'd almost forgotten about it, given everything else that was going on. Why the whole floor was invited and not just Gynecology was beyond me but that was the way it had always been.

'That's it, then. Dismissed - ' I startled in my seat, quickly grabbing my mug and pen as Terzaki quickly left the room and the doctors started to file out. I was going to lose Terzaki if I didn't hurry up. He'd have some phone call to make or appointment to get to and while he was kind, he'd probably brush me off and tell me to make an appointment. That was what they usually did.

I hurried out of the boardroom in time to see Terzaki disappear around a corner. I started to follow him when I saw Evan walking down another corridor, closely followed by Hartner and Gonzalez. They were quietly talking and Evan's arms were clenched by his sides. He didn't look very happy.

I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, their voices too quiet for me to pick anything up. That's how they managed to get away with saying what they were; they never said anything loud enough for anyone else to notice.

Hartner then reached up to pat Evan on the shoulder. If I was a stranger, I could have mistaken this as a friendly gesture. But I wasn't a stranger and I new better. I had to stop this before it escalated and Evan became even more reclusive than he already was.

Terzaki could wait. Evan was more important.

'Is there a problem here?' I said firmly, approaching them and folding my arms.

'Course not.' Hartner said, his tone jovial for his first time. I didn't like it when he looked happy. That instantly made me suspicious.

'Morning, Dr. Harmon.' Gonzalez said cheerfully, his eyes taking in my purple pencil dress. The pair of them barely met my eye when I talked to them, they'd rather stare at my legs or my boobs. And I wouldn't have minded as much if they were trying to flirt with me and I respected them, but neither of those things were happening right now.

'We'll see you later, Doc.' Hartner said, patting Evan on the shoulder again before walking up the corridor, followed by Gonzalez. I kept my eyes pinned on them until they left the corridor before turning back to Evan.

'I'm going to make a complaint to Terzaki. Enough is enough.'

'Just leave it Lizzy.' Evan said, turning on his heel and walking down the corridor. I followed him, ignoring the fact I was walking towards the Minor Burns unit instead of the elevators.

'I can't just leave it. You're acting like a different person. I don't know what they've said but they've said something and you shouldn't - '

'Can we do this later?' Evan interrupted bluntly, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. 'I'm tired.'

'No, you're not. I know you better than that. You - '

'Maybe you're the one who needs to back off, Lizzy.' Evan sighed but I kept pushing. How could he not see I was trying to help him? Did he want to be bullied?

'Don't let them win. If you make an official complaint, you - '

'Just leave it.' He pushed open the set of double doors and I had to dart forwards to stop them from slamming into me. Why was he so angry about this? Hartner was being a dick to him and he was willing to step back and let him?

'Maybe I don't want to leave it.' I insisted. 'Maybe I don't like seeing a friend being treated like crap.'

'I don't want your help.' He said, firmly, halting his movement. 'You should focus on helping yourself.'

'I've got that sorted and - '

'How about you care about yourself for once and leave the rest of us alone.' I took a deep breath. I wasn't going to bite his head off because underneath this tough exterior, I knew he was scared. They were getting to him and he didn't want anybody else to know.

'Come to Terzaki with me.'

'I can look after myself.' He hissed, storming past me and I let him walk away. I wasn't going to get through to him when he was seething with anger. I was just hitting a brick wall.

'I know you can,' I shouted down the corridor as he stalked away from me. 'But you shouldn't have to - '

He shouldn't have to fight this thing alone. He should know that there were people around him who cared about him and wanted to help him. This was something that Kelly was shoving down my throat lately; I wasn't alone either, no matter how many times I forced myself to think it.

\- What do you think so far? Do you think anyone else is involved with the murders? Is Mike going to come after Lizzy?


	23. Viginti Duo

By my lunch break that day, I hadn't been able to stop thinking about Evan all morning. That wasn't something I ever thought I'd say but I was really beginning to worry about him. He seemed indignant to let Hartner bully him and I knew it would only be a matter of time before something gave.

He'd completely changed from his usually confident personality. His drive and ambition were fizzling out. If things continued the way they were going it would come to the point where Evan would leave his position on the board all because Hartner kept harassing him and he wouldn't do anything about it.

I couldn't let it come to that.

But I also knew just how difficult it was to ask for help. Hell, I knew that hard.

I'd gone to deliver some files to only be accosted by Kelly and Becky who were crowding around the front desk. Becky instantly filled me in on the conversation - Kelly was wondering whether to ask Jordan from diabetics out on a date. I didn't have much contact with the diabetes department but Kelly managed to paint a pretty vivid picture for me.

'He's hot and fit and funny. But he's also a bit of a health nut and might lecture me on all the takeout I eat. I want a boyfriend, not another mom - I've got Lizzy for that.'

'Very funny.' I rolled my eyes.

'What do you think, Bex?' Kelly said, turning to Becky. Bex was Kelly's new nickname for her and I wasn't even sure whether she liked it, but she was too nice to say anything.

'Well...do you like him?' Kelly pondered for a minute, curling a lock of her hair around her finger.

'Yes.'

'Then ask him out. You don't have to think long term yet. Just...see what happens - ' She smiled and Kelly nodded.

'Yeah. Yeah! That's a good answer. I'll try and catch him on his way out.'

'You never listen to my advice.' I complained with a pout, resting my head on my palm. Kelly looked pointedly at me.

'I only listen when it's good advice - '

'I always give good advice!' Kelly smirked at me, biting on the end of her pen.

'Your love life isn't exactly one to be admired.' I stared at her for a moment, my mouth dropping open in mock outrage.

'Ouch.'

'What does that mean?' Becky asked and Kelly smiled, leaning over the front of the desk to be closer to her.

'Well. Her ex-fiancée is a drug addict and very possibly a criminal. And her ex-boyfriend is an asshole and cheated on her with his wife. And is definitely a criminal.' 

Becky narrowed her eyes in confusion and I hit Kelly playfully on the arm. She'd re-told all of my romantic exploits over the years to the point where it didn't even bother me any more and was almost amusing. Although, the fact that Mike was now definitely a criminal was something that had been added very recently.

'It's very complicated.' I reassured Becky, smiling at her. 'And I'm not exactly proud of it but you'll get your head around it all soon.'

'The current boyfriend, on the other hand, is much better.' Kelly said matter-of-factly and I rolled my eyes.

'Thank you.'

'Despite him being as entertaining as a plank of wood.' She continued and I sighed. Everyone was insistent that Aaron had no sense of humour and it seemed I was going to be spending the entirety of our relationship telling people that this wasn't true.

'I'm going to tell him that.'

'Go ahead. It won't affect him anyway. He doesn't know what humour is. He's hot though - '

'Hey - ' I interjected, shooting her a smirk which she shot back.

'Kidding!' She insisted with a grin. 'Though he is pretty hot. And the last decent guy on Earth apparently.'

'What about Jordan?' Minutes ago she'd been saying how he was hot and funny and apparently now he was the human equivalent of a troll.

'He wears too much deodorant sometimes.' Kelly shrugged. 'And I'm pretty sure he has more pairs of sneakers than the rest of his clothing put together. Maybe I'll just have to settle for him.'

'No way - ' I assured her, shooting a look at Becky's amused face. She was going to have to get used to our conversations if she wanted to work here. 'Your perfect guy's out there somewhere. You just have to give it time.'

'I only had my first girlfriend when I was 23.' Becky said slowly, 'But that might just have been because I lived in a really conservative town...Like Lizzy said, there's no point rushing it.'

Kelly shot her a thankful smile before her eyes drifted to something behind me. 'Next patient alert.' She said, gesturing behind me.

I turned to see Natasha coming out of the elevator talking into her cell. '2 minutes.' She mouthed at me and I nodded, the nerves slowly beginning to build in my stomach.

'It's time to embrace your inner secret agent.' Kelly whispered dramatically and I rolled my eyes.

'I'm not spying. And anyway, it's going to be awkward as hell.'

'Do it for America!' Kelly whispered back.

'He might not even be involved!' I hissed, knowing as soon as the words left my mouth that he was definitely involved. He didn't come running at me with a gun in his hand if there wasn't something he thought I'd overheard, when in fact I'd heard nothing.

'Come on - ' Kelly said with a roll of her eyes. 'We all know that that asshole is involved. That's what assholes do - '

'Becky doesn't know who he is.' I defended. 'She doesn't know that he's involved.' Kelly shot Becky a sharp glare.

'I mean - he sounds a bit shifty but - '

'Mrs. Westfield, please come in - ' I spun around, watching Natasha drop her cell back into her bag. I could feel Kelly glaring at the back of my head as I led Natasha into my office, turning back at the last moment to stick my tongue out at her before the door swung shut.

I always wondered where the people who said I was austere and serious got their information, because I'd just stuck my tongue out at a colleague after she'd said my ex-boyfriend was involved in a murder-cult.

Because, let's be honest: he probably was.

'Please, have a seat.' I sat down at my desk, pulling out her records from the filing cabinet. 'All your results have come back clean. There are no signs of anything abnormal or anything that worries me. There's nothing in your family that suggests conceiving would be a problem so I think you should be fine. But you can always call me or come in for an appointment if you've got any questions.'

'Great.' Natasha said with a nod, smiling slightly at me. Every time I looked her in the eye I was brought back to the time when I'd opened the door to her, the disappointment and anger clear in her eyes. How she'd found out about Mike's 'affair' I didn't exactly know. All I knew was that she'd hated me for it. I'd hate me too if I was in her position.

And now I was going to make things even more awkward by dragging up the past. But she could hate me all she wanted. This was the only way I could think of that I could help.

'Can I not be your doctor for a moment?' I asked and Natasha's dark eyes instantly narrowed. 'The FBI are investigating the series of murders that have been happening across the city. They think that...Mike might be involved.'

I bit my lip. I could almost feel the awkwardness of this whole situation creeping up my skin. I watched her face, looking for any change in her expression. She was going to change doctors. Or she would just walk out and slam the door. She would hate me more than she already did.

But all she did was look down at her hands, the wedding ring that glinted on her finger, before looking back up at me. 'How do you know this?' She asked bluntly. That was one detail I hadn't expected her to ask questions about.

'My boyfriend is leading the investigation.' I said slowly, trying not to trip up over the word 'boyfriend'. She was married and I was in a relationship; we'd both moved on from Mike.

But from the way she was frowning, I could tell it wasn't that simple.

'Right.'

'It's almost like he doesn't exist. They've been able to find very little details about his childhood, current addresses, family.'

'I don't know anything.' She said curtly. 'Why are you asking me? Surely you can answer them yourself.'

I'd been kidding myself thinking that she'd be over Mike and everything that had happened between us. It had only been ten months. I couldn't expect her to forgive me, even if I had had no idea that he was married anyway...

She sighed and ran a hand through her jet black hair. 'I'm sorry. That was rude.'

'You're allowed to be rude.' I said with a shrug. I felt partly responsible for destroying her marriage.

'No, I'm not. He lied to both of us. I need to stop being such of a bitch to you.' She smiled slightly, but her eyes were sad. 'I guess it was easier to blame you than to blame myself for not seeing it.'

'It wasn't your  - '

'I know. I know it wasn't my fault. But you still think there's something you could have done, don't you. Some sign that you should have seen. We were married for four years. You'd think I'd know him well enough to know he wasn't being honest with me.'

This was the first conversation we'd had about the whole thing, that hadn't involved the pair of us crying and screaming in each others faces. And I knew that we should have done it sooner, that closure was needed for every party involved. But we hadn't. So maybe it was only now that we could move past everything.

'I'm really, really sorry Natasha.' I said after a moment, looking her straight in the eye. She nodded.

'I'm really, really sorry too. Lizzy.'  
***  
In the end, she answered all of the questions that I asked her and everything that she told me was new information. It seemed he'd been at least partially true to her. That had to mean something; their marriage had to have meant something.

'I didn't know any of this.' I breathed, looking down at the page of notes I'd just made.

'That's Mike for you - ' She said shrugging. 'It all might be made up, I don't know. But that's what he told me.'

'He told me he was born in Wyoming so - ' I said with a laugh and Natasha's mouth dropped open.

'What? With that tan?' She giggled and I shrugged.

'I was....really stupid.' I said plainly and Natasha smirked. 'We've never...talked this before, have we?' She shook her head. 'Maybe we should have.'

'Yeah. Then it wouldn't have been so awkward the first time I came in here and you looked so shocked to see me.' I cringed thinking back to our first meeting and Natasha chuckled.

If I'd met Natasha in any other scenario, we would have become friends. I knew we would. I could clearly see now that she was a lovely person. Our meeting had just been clouded by our emotions and the third person involved.

'If you could ever move past this and even begin to not hate the sight of me.' I said sincerely, 'then I'd really like it if we could move towards being something like friends.'

'I'd really like that too.' Natasha said, with a smirk. 'But don't think I'm naming any kids after you. Mark had a Great Dane called Lizzy when he was younger and she terrorized him.'

'Got it.' I grinned, the awkwardness beginning to ebb away. I wasn't going to let Mike stand in the way of the new relationship that we were forming. And, if anything, our experience with Mike gave us some bonding material.

At the very least, we could bond over our intense hatred of the guy and how we wanted to push him off a cliff. But apparently that was illegal.

\- What's going to happen with Evan? And what exactly did Lizzy find out about Mike? Hmmm....


	24. Viginti Tres

The second Natasha left my office, before the door could even swing fully closed, I dialed Aaron's number. They needed to know this. It might be able to help track Mike down and who knew what else they'd discover in the process. Anything to stop innocent people from being killed.

'Hey, Lizzy. I'm a little - '

'Is the team there?' I interrupted. 'I've got some information that I think could help you guys out.'

'Information? Where from?'

'I just saw Natasha, Mike's ex-wife, and I might have asked her some questions about him.'

'I'm beginning to think that I might be a bad influence.' Aaron teased and I rolled my eyes. 'Alright, the rest of the team are here. I'll put you on speaker - '

'So.' I took in a breath. 'I asked Natasha about Mike and she told me a lot of stuff that I didn't know. He had two different addresses in his name, I've already sent Penelope the details. Maybe he's hiding out at one of them.'

'How does Natasha know that?' Dave asked.

'He used different addresses on his divorce papers. He switched between the two but no one ever picked up on it. She didn't care enough about him to point it out.'

'That does sound suspicious - ' JJ said.

'And he also went to prison, did a year.' I'd never known that he'd stayed in prison. It was like I was meeting him all over again but now, I was finding out the truth.

'How did we not know that?' Aaron asked and I looked down at my page of notes.

'He was in Edgefield. They had a massive systems failure and it wiped all the records. He was released during that time so nothing about him was every recorded.'

'That's convenient. We should look into any cellmates he had. He might still be in touch with them. What was he charged with?'

'I'm getting to that. Theft and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Natasha said he didn't bring friends round often but there was one guy she saw a lot of. Dylan Mitchell - '

'That's the man who first came forward!' Spencer said and my eyes widened. Was Mike deeper into this whole thing than I'd first thought? Was he best mates with the mastermind behind it all?

'She didn't know much about him but got the impression that he'd been in and out of prison a lot. She said she wouldn't be surprised if he was the one with all the contacts, it seemed like he had a pretty tight run of the place when they were both inside.'

'So Dylan introduces Mike to some of his friends, they get talking - ' Emily started as I bit my lip. What if Mike wasn't just involved in this whole thing, but was actually one of the front men of the operation? 'It probably involves some alcohol. They're all ambitious, self-centered, narcissistic with a deep desire to outdo each other.'

'And so begins the killing.' Spencer finished abruptly.

 'I think we need to give Dylan Mitchell another visit.' Dave said. No shit. 'I'll tell Garcia to start looking for any current addresses on this guy.'

'I also got - ' I continued, running my pen down the page so that I didn't lose my train of thought. 'That he was thrown out of college for drug dealing.'

'You really know how to pick guys, don't you?' Derek teased and I sighed. I knew he'd left college early - the only change was that Mike had told me he'd chosen to leave, not been forced out.

'We're not talking about that right now. I also got that - '

'If you're ever considering a change of career, I'd say interrogator is a good place to start.' JJ commented and I smiled slightly. Natasha was a lot more forthcoming with information when we weren't baying for each others blood.

'Both of his parents were killed in a car crash when he was a kid so he lived with his Uncle until he was 18.'

'And I'm guessing that this Uncle was a bit of a douchebag?' Derek guessed.

'From the sound it, he was rarely sober and when he was he wasn't very nice.' I said simply. 'He could be pretty handy with his belt.'

'So this is his way of trying to get control over his life. He's compensating for the lack of respect he had as child and is being overtly masculine in doing it.' Aaron said. 'We need to get to Dylan Mitchell now.'

'Thanks for the information, Lizzy.' Emily said. 'This is the first promising lead we've had all day.'

'Just glad I could help.' Kelly suddenly popped her head around my door. My next patient was here. I needed to wrap this up. I nodded. 'I've got to get back to work now. I'll talk to you later.'

I hung up and put my cell back on the desk, checking which patient was currently waiting in the foyer for me. I hadn't expected the information that I'd gathered, information that seemed so basic and inconsequential, to prove to be such a help.

They were on the trail of Dylan Mitchell. He might carve this whole case wide open - he might be the suspect that they'd been hunting for.

Then why was I still staring down at my page of notes? It had nothing to do with me.

I re-read the information that I'd taken down. I hadn't known any of it. My relationship with Mike really had been a lie. None of it had been true. Mike had been lying to me since the second he met me and I'd been lying to myself, caught up in the moment of being wanted by someone after so many months of being alone.

Of being wanted by a lying, deceptive, arrogant, manipulative man who was now wanted for murder.

***  
After tidying up my office, I locked the door behind me and swung my bag onto my shoulder. My last patient of the day had left twenty minutes ago and I was eager to get home. Peter had called me earlier to tell me we had a meeting tomorrow evening - June Cabot and her lawyer were also going to be there. And that made me feel slightly sick.

The front desk was empty, which was unusual. At this time I could always count on Kelly being stuck on the phone with an irritating patient, nursing her third cup of coffee. But she wasn't there.

I peered into the break room and saw most of the doctors off the floor crowding around the TV set, Kelly included. She suddenly caught my eye and waved me over.

'I think you'll be interested in this.' She said as I approached, my curiousity growing with every step. 'They've arrested Dylan Mitchell.'

'That was quick.' I said, my eyes wide. I'd only given them the information four hours ago and now he was in custody. They weren't doing any messing around. The break room was crowded with medical personnel, all muttering their own theories and opinions about what was happening.

'The press are all over it.' Kelly gestured to the screen, showing one of what I presumed was many news channels broadcasting about the arrest. 'Most of them are ranting about the fact this is the first arrest that has happened in nearly two weeks of killing. The FBI and police are being slated.'

If they knew all of the details about the case and how many different leads were being investigated, then the media would not be slating them. But of course, they didn't know all the details. That was the point.

Even though the arrest of Dylan Mitchell seemed like a massive step forward, he was still only one of the many members of the group that were roaming the city. Still, you had to be optimistic, which some people were having a problem doing.

'They think it's a group, right? But they might be wrong. It wouldn't be the first time a case has turned into something else.' Kelly said, standing next to me.

'How could one guy have killed two people in the space of one night?'

'Something called the subway.'

This was true. But I was sure the BAU wouldn't be following their 'cult of killers' theory if they didn't have some evidence to back it up; I was sure if I asked the time of death for the two victims would be similar, making it impossible for one killer to have committed both murders.

'I'd like to see you chase a gang of murderers.' I said with a smirk.

'Please. I'm Starsky and Hutch all rolled into one.'

The media seemed to be playing up the possible 'more than one killer' aspect to maximum affect - 'GANG OF KILLERS' was the headline that they'd gone with which I knew the BAU would not be a massive fan of.

Gang just made me think of the group of hyenas in the Lion King, that slunk around in the shadows, being weird  and generally just creeping everyone out. If that was the case, who was Scar? Dylan Mitchell? Mike? Someone else entirely?

I turned at the sound of footsteps, seeing Hartner and Gonzalez enter the break room, their eyes fixed on the TV screen. Could they not? Could they just leave everyone alone for once? Apparently not.

'It's not going to do anything.' Gonzalez said with a sigh and I immediately raised an eyebrow. How the hell he did he know?

'Why not?' I asked firmly.

'They have an inverted pack mentality. If one of them gets arrested, they won't scramble to bail him out. It'll just heighten the rest of them and make them even more determined to continue killing. It'll be every man for himself.'

'And you know this how?' Kelly said, crossing her arms and sticking her hip out, her eyes boring into his. Hartner seemed to be staring into the crowd, paying little attention to what was going on. At least if he was quiet, he couldn't be annoying anyone.

'My Mom's a psychologist.' Gonzalez explained with a shrug. 'I learned a lot from her. It was just the two of us when I was growing up so I spent a lot of time helping her with her work.'

Gonzalez coming from a single parent family was a bit of a shock to me, especially one void of a father-figure. I'd assumed that was where he'd got his arrogance from but maybe I'd been a little too judgmental.

Hartner, of course, was a still a dick. But maybe Gonzalez was slightly less of a dick now?

Or did saying he was less of a dick because of his background make me even more of a judgmental person?

'One of the killers off the street means that the rest of the group will be more reluctant.' Kelly said defiantly and I didn't mention that just a few minutes ago she'd been against the whole 'group of killers' thing.

'Does it?' He shot back, his lips curving into a smirk and I could see why Kelly had said he was hot - when he wasn't being a jackass, he was rather attractive - in the whole smug, confident guy kind of way. 'There's still a group of them out there. The number and identity of every member is unknown. They're presumably homophobic, arrogant, highly ambitious men who think they're superior and aren't doing anything wrong by killing. It's a game to them; they're chasing the thrill and trying to up each other.'

If I was in a particularly vindictive frame of mind, then he could have just described himself and Hartner. Did he know that he basically fit the profile?

I turned my attention back to the TV screen, suddenly catching sight of Evan standing in the corner, his hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed on the news report. Aaron had said there was enough fear in the gay community already but what about the people who were only beginning to come to terms with their sexuality and were now seeing hate crimes on the news and being bullied by their colleagues?

No wonder Evan seemed a little on edge. He was probably terrified of what was going to happen to him.

I didn't care if Gonzalez had a single mom and sounded to be pretty intelligent. He and Hartner were being dicks to Evan and he was who my loyalties lay with.

'It looks like your information was helpful.' Kelly said as people began to slowly file out of the room and the news report changed to an update on the freezing weather we'd been having for the last two weeks. I'd told Kelly about my meeting with Natasha as soon as I'd got off the phone with Aaron.

'Yeah. I wonder what they'll find out about Mike.' I couldn't deny his involvement anymore and was beginning to come to terms with that.

'Who knows. It'll only be a matter of time. I'm sure they'll all be locked up before Christmas.' Kelly said gently, taking in the slightly worried expression on my face.

'Fingers crossed.' I said with a sigh. The fact that Mike was running around with a gun with a point to prove made me feel uneasy. But he was probably hiding out in a dingy apartment somewhere and in a matter of days he'd be behind bars.

Right?

FEATURED SONGS:  
The Lion King - Be Prepared


	25. Viginti Quattour

At 7pm the next evening I was on way to June Cabot's lawyer's offices downtown, my stomach churning to the point where I thought I was going to be sick. I was anxious to see June Cabot face to face, knowing the charges that she'd now stacked against me. I knew I had to trust Peter, but that was getting harder to do with every second that passed.

I was already feeling tired and I hadn't even got there yet. The anxiety over everything was beginning to get to me, I could feel it. It was a combination of everything happening with Peter, Hartner and Gonzalez, worrying about Evan, worrying about Mike, the fact that I still hadn't met again with Lexi's teacher and that Christmas was in a week.

I wasn't going to try sleeping pills so the only other option I had was to deal with everything. But dealing with everything seemed too overwhelming at the moment.

The girls were buzzing with excitement about Christmas and it was impossible to be miserable when I was around them. They were currently at home, Joe and Aimee both looking after them.

Mom and Joe still weren't on great terms and it seemed like Aimee was doing her best to keep them apart. While I knew this wasn't a long term solution, she'd told me on my way out it was to avoid anything being broken. The arguments seemed to be frequent now and usually resulted in a lot of door-slamming.

I was stuck right on the fence. I just wanted everyone to get on - and clearly that wasn't happening.

The more days that passed and the more attacks and attempted-attacks that were reported on the news, the more paranoid Mom got. I could completely understand her concerns; if someone was kidnapping young girls then I probably wouldn't let Lola and Lexi out of my sight.

But Joe was 25. He wasn't a kid and he wasn't stupid.

Everything was too much when I thought about it all at once. I was just trying to get myself through the days, minute by minute, hour by hour.

That was what I was concentrating on. Otherwise, my mind would splinter apart.

***  
An hour and a half later, I was in shock. I'd known what I was walking into, at least I thought I did. But for a lawyer to look me in the eye and tell me I owed his client one million dollars and my license to practice was something I didn't think I would ever get over.

It wasn't even the money that was bothering me, once it boiled down to it. It was still the fact that I could lose my job, lose my license full stop, that shocked the air out of me when I thought about it for too long. And I'd been forced to think about it for ninety minutes straight.

Maybe I really should become an interrogator for the FBI? At least no one could accuse me of not thinking ahead.

Peter had been lovely and supportive as he usually was, reassuring me throughout our meeting that he had everything under control. Whether he really did, or that was just his lawyer talk, I didn't know. I'd have to hope it was the latter.

June Cabot's lawyer had insisted on calling me Miss Harmon the entire time and while I didn't necessarily mind being called that outside of the hospital, but he'd been doing it deliberately to patronize me and demean me.

And I wasn't having that.

Before Peter had left me stood in front of the offices as he had to speed off somewhere, he'd told me that he was going to work on building me some character references to show that I wouldn't make a mistake like this and that I took my job seriously. The fact that I even had to prove any of this was insane.

I'd given him some people's numbers, such as the band and members of my dance class, seeing that he couldn't ask my family to testify for me.

I didn't know what I felt more strongly as I leaned against the cold brick of the offices, the road deserted and faintly illuminated by the street lamps.

Anger or fear.

Peter had proposed that June had another sample taken from her cervix to be sent of to the lab, which she'd denied. If she had nothing to hide, there should have been no problem with her taking another test because it would have yielded the same result: that her cells were cancerous and abnormal.

But she'd refused on the account that it was her own personal choice to have the test run and she wouldn't be bullied into it.

I didn't need to be a law school graduate to know that that was suspicious.

The night air was bitterly cold against my skin but I needed to feel the cold to clear my head.

I just wanted to help people. That was my simplest and primary aim as a doctor. I didn't want to bring the chaos, the upheaval into someone else's life. But that was what she was doing to me.

Peter hadn't explicitly said it but it was clear he thought that her positive results had been manufactured or contaminated or altered in some way. If this wasn't the case, she wouldn't have objected to another test.

So I was torn between feeling scared and anxious about what would happen to my job and everything I'd worked for and feeling angry about why June would pull a stunt like this in the first place. I couldn't come up with a motive for her.

But Mom always said that people don't need a reason to do crazy things, they just do them.

I sighed, pushing myself away from the wall and approaching the sidewalk. I was freezing and hungry - the pink blouse, black lace skirt and thin trench coat I was wearing were doing nothing to protect me from the chill and I had used up all my energy worrying about whether I was going to lose my job.

To make matters worse, I'd had to park practically a mile away from the offices which now left me a long, lonely walk back to my car. The streets were almost deserted, my footsteps echoing in the silence as I walked. I just wanted to get home to the warmth and have some food and watch a movie and forget what had -

I froze, my steps faltering as my eyes locked onto a figure across the road. Was I really so delusional? Was everything I feared beginning to manifest into reality?

No. I trusted my mind, at least to a certain degree. Across the road, walking down the sidewalk with his back to me, was Mike.

It was. It was Mike.

I could spot him a mile away, even if his features weren't even that distinctive. They were distinctive to me. I'd spent weeks staring into his eyes and gripping onto his face and digging my hands into his flesh; I would always be able to recognize him.

I held my breath as I watched him walk away from me with long, confident strides. He turned a corner, disappearing down an alley. My mind had gone into overdrive.

What should I do? I couldn't think. I just moved.

Before I realized what was happening, I'd dug my cell out from my bag and was texting Aaron my location. I didn't know whether my hands were shaking with shock or with the cold.

What if he didn't have his phone near him? What if they'd moved onto another suspect? What if he was busy with something else?

I quickly crossed the street, the clicking of my heels seeming to be amplified in the eerie silence. I couldn't figure out what I was doing. Why would I want to be any closer to him than I had to be?

My cell buzzed.

Don't engage with him. He's dangerous. We're on our way now. 

Mike was still a suspect then, otherwise they wouldn't be dropping everything to get here. What did that really say about my boyfriend choices?

I took a step forward, Aaron's words ringing in my ears. It was dark, it was late and it was cold. I didn't want to follow him down the street, into the alley, but something was making me put one foot in front of the other.

I cringed at the sound of my footsteps against the concrete. Following him could help the investigation. He was killing people, he could come after Joe or Evan next.

I was helping them with this investigation any way that I could and, right now, this was the way I could help.

I snuck down the street, walking as softly as I could, my ears listening out for the slightest noise. The alley was a dead end; Mike had gone down there for a reason.

I stopped when I heard the faint murmur of voices. My heart was racing. There were two voices - one was Mike's, another that I didn't recognize. Someone else was down there with him.

I pushed my body up against the wall as I crept closer. Aaron would be here any minute. I rested my head against the slimy brick wall, trying to memorize every word that I heard.

'Dylan's going to tell, I know he is.' I didn't recognize this voice but he was male and sounded local. And if he knew Dylan, that meant he had to be another member of the gang.

'Of course he is.' Mike said, sounding almost bored. His voice sent shockwaves through me. 'That's what this is now, it's every man for himself.' It seemed Gonzalez had been right then, at least about this.

'But - '

'Calm down.' Mike didn't sound very reassuring. The other man's voice was practically trembling. 'I've got it under control. The cops have no evidence against us. We're perfect law abiding citizens.'

I would not say that by any stretch of the imagination. But Mike seemed to be convinced that they were, that what they'd done needed no punishment.

'When does it stop? It started as a stupid joke and now - ' The man sounded hysterical. He sounded young too, almost like a teenager. God, were they involving kids as well?

It wasn't a very funny joke. Mike seemed to be one of the only people laughing.

'Who knows?' Mike said nonchalantly.

'I don't know if I want to do this anymore - '

'Then you'd better make your mind up quickly.' Mike spat and I shifted my position slightly, my legs feeling numb from staying in the same position. I winced as the gravel crackled under my feet. I held my breath.

'Shit.' I heard Mike hiss and my eyes widened. 

'What was that?'

'Someone's there - ' Fuck. Fuck. I needed to get out of there. I began moving as quickly and quietly as I could. They could both be armed as far as I knew and I didn't really want to have to use my shoe as a weapon again.

'The cops? Have they found us?'

But before I could move another step, I heard the crackling of gunshots in the sky. My breath hitched in my throat. It sounded close. I could hear the faint sounds of screaming in the distance.

If I remembered correctly, there was a night club just around the corner of here. Oh God...

The screaming suddenly seemed to get louder, echoing around my skull, stifling any thoughts I could give to Mike or the other man behind me.

I was running before I knew what was happening, my heart beating painfully fast in my chest. There was another round of shots. More screaming.

The logical part of my brain was trying to halt my movements, make me run in the opposite direction, call 911.

But the BAU were already on their way. Someone might be injured. I could help them. That was the whole point of me being a doctor.

Mike had caused this. Mike had caused the screams and the pain. He was telling kids that everything would be okay, that killing was the right thing to do, that it was simply a joke or a game.

The screams that were ricocheting around my skull didn't agree with him.


	26. Viginti Quinque

I had no idea what I was going to find as I ran through the streets, desperately trying to remember which streets I needed to enter. I couldn't follow the screams - they seemed to be coming from all directions.

I no longer cared about the cold or my hunger or the fact that Mike might be following me right now, with a gun aimed at my back. Every worst case scenario was flashing through my mind as my heels clattered against the floor.

What if someone was seriously hurt and required immediate medical attention? I didn't have any medical equipment on me other than what I was carrying in my purse and I was sure that only consisted of a pair of latex gloves which seemed to follow me everywhere.

And there was every chance that I was going to come across a dead body. That the gunman would have succeeded and would have taken another life.

How was I going to respond to that?

And what if the gunman was still on site? The first rule of first aid was to make sure the area was safe and secure so I was contractually obliged to take him out first before treating anyone if it came down to it.

The BAU couldn't drive that quickly - they'd still be a  few minutes out. And while I was sure someone would have called 911, they too would still take a few minutes to get on site. I ran faster, forcing my legs to move.

I ran into the street, the nightclub up ahead of me, the bright lights flashing into the sky. I was only thinking of one thing at a time. And right now, I had to focus on making sure that everyone was alright and unhurt.

Even if you hadn't heard the gunshots, a complete stranger would be able to see that something had happened. Frantic looking people were stood outside, talking furiously on their cells. Some people were crying, others shouting, while some were hurrying away from the scene. But no one of them seemed to be fearful as I approached, which meant the gunman probably wasn't still here.

Was this a positive or a negative? It meant that no one in the immediate vicinity was at risk of being gunned down but he could just as easily go out and kill again.

One thing at a time, Lizzy.

I furiously scanned the area, trying to get my breathing under control, as I spotted a girl leaning over a boy who was lying on the floor. As I got closer, I could see the girl was sobbing, her hands shaking.

The boy was pale, his breathing ragged, a wound on his chest trickling blood.

Shit.

I crept down next to her, my eyes instantly taking in the boys condition. Had the bullet hit any major organs? Arteries? Did he have a head injury?

'Hey - ' I said softly, already digging the latex gloves out of my bag. The girl jumped away from me, covering the boy's body with her own, her eyes seething with anger and fear.

'GET AWAY FROM HIM!' She screeched, her voice hoarse. I slowly knelt down onto the floor, holding my hands up.

'It's okay. I'm a doctor. I want to help - ' The girl slowly relaxed as my words sank in, sitting back on her heels. I turned to the boy, checking his pulse, whether he responded to my touch, how much blood was staining the front of his shirt.

He looked fairly young, a couple of years younger than Joe at least. His chest was heaving as he gasped for breath, his eyelids fluttering closed. His pulse was elevated, his pale skin looking slightly blue but I couldn't be sure if this was just the lights from the nightclub.

Do something, Lizzy. He's not a question on a test paper. He's a dying man.

I leaned forwards, pressing both of my hands onto the wound and pushing down hard. The boy stuttered for breath and I swallowed down my panic. At least he wasn't unconscious yet, even if he looked to be heading that way.

I turned to the girl who was watching on with wide eyes, her eyes glassy and her jumper streaked with bloodstains.

'Have you called an ambulance?' She nodded. But if he had punctured a lung, like I predicted, the emergency team needed to be here now. Otherwise, there was very little I could do. 'What's his name?'

'Taylor - ' she stuttered, reaching out to take his hand. 

'Okay, I need you to keep him awake. Can you do that? It's really important - ' The girl nodded again, squeezing his hand slightly as I pressed down harder on the wound on his chest. I needed to press hard enough to stop the bleeding and to keep his lungs compressed, but not so hard that I compressed them even more. 'Talk to him. He'll be able to recognise your voice. And I need you to help me to sit him up.'

'Taylor - ' she whispered quietly as I looked up at the sound of sirens. They were still a little way off. 'Taylor.' She repeated, louder this time, as I quickly manoeuvred his feet onto my knees and she helped me push him into a sitting position. I knew that, in reality, this was probably going to achieve very little but right now, I was going to try anything.

With every second that passed, I was aware that the gunman could come back at any moment.

We were all sitting ducks, waiting to be shot. We had no cover, nothing to protect ourselves...

One thing at a time, Lizzy.

'Is he okay?' The girl asked frantically as she continued repeating Taylor over and over again.

'He's still breathing.' I said, trying to sound more confident that I really felt, nodding towards the slight rise and fall of his chest. 'He's okay at the minute.'

That was a lie. His skin was tinged slightly blue; he wasn't getting enough oxygen. His breathing was abnormal. He still hadn't opened his eyes, no matter how many times the girl desperately squeezed his hand.

I knew how to treat a punctured lung. If the trauma was only minor, it might just heal on its own.

Or a chest tube could be placed through the ribs into the area surrounding the lungs to help drain the air. That was in more extreme cases.

And that was what Taylor desperately needed. I was going to have to improvise. Or Taylor was going to die. 

I gave his chest another strong push before releasing one of my hands and delving into my purse for a pen. Taylor suddenly shifted slightly, his hand flexing as he let out a guttural cough. Blood was now staining his lips. 

Oh fuck. 

I could feel the girl's eyes boring into my head as I quickly removed the ink cartridge using my teeth. His breathing was more rapid now, his chest stuttering as I looked up at the black jeeps that were grinding to a halt in front of me, the team spilling out.

The BAU. The emergency service that I didn't want at the moment. This was the kind of thing that couldn't be fixed using a first aid kit.

Wait...First aid kits had syringes...and needles...at least some of them did...and that was exactly what I needed at the moment.

'Lizzy? What are - ' 

'Have you got a first aid kit on board?' I shouted, trying to identify just where his second and third rib were, while keeping one hand pressed to his wound. 'That has a syringe and a needle in it?' 

'Yes, but - ' 

'I need it now!' I didn't look up at the sound of Aaron's voice or as I felt an object being pressed into my hand. I tore the packet open with my teeth, praying desperately that this was going to work.

It had to work. Taylor was depending on me. So was the girl currently holding him up, who hadn't stopped crying since I'd knelt down beside her.

'Mike is two streets away to the right.' I said hastily, pressing the needle into his skin. Taylor still wasn't reacting. I could feel Aaron's presence over me, feel his arm holding me up as he crouched down beside me. 'And there's a madman running around with a gun somewhere. Take your pick and leave me and - ' 

'Molly.' The girl interjected, as the sirens suddenly got louder and a ray of hope burst through my chest. This might work out after all. Even if I did feel that I was about to pass out.

'The ambulance is on it's way. We've got this. Go - ' I said harshly, meeting Aaron's gaze for a split second before I slowly released the syringe, a slow stream of air releasing from his lungs.

'It's not safe!'

'Aaron. Go.' I ordered harshly. 'Don't make me shout at you in front of your team. Go and do your job and I'll do mine - '

I was just glad that Derek had other things on his mind or I knew he would have made some comment about me being a gynaecologist. I knew that I was being mean but I had to be. Taylor's life was literally sitting in my freezing cold hands and if the gunman wasn't stopped, he could go and do this to somebody else.

Aaron had to go and find him and he couldn't do that if he was by my side, worrying about me.

Taylor suddenly let out a guttering cough, jolting the syringe from his skin. I was faintly aware of Aaron leaving my side and ordering the team to split up but I was panicking too much to think clearly. Blood was slowly dribbling from Taylor's mouth, spotting the sidewalk, his eyes finally opening slightly. The didn't focus on my face as he looked at me; he was delirious.

He coughed again, and again, blood splattering against my dress as I kept one arm wrapped around him, the other slowly forcing the air from his lungs using my makeshift catheter.

I could feel his body trembling beneath my grip as his lungs fought for air. He was practically translucent, his body limp against my arm as I continued extracting the air from his lungs.

I knew what coughing up blood meant. He was choking on his own blood; he was basically drowning in it.

My hands shook slightly as the syringe slipped; Taylor made a choking noise and spat a mouthful of blood onto my skirt. Molly was shaking next to me, she'd started crying again.

'What's that? What does that mean?' Her voice was even shaking as Taylor slumped against her, his eyes flickering closed again.

No. Fuck, no. I couldn't let this happen. I needed to do something. I...

'He's - ' I could lie to here as I forced the syringe back into his skin, telling myself to believe that just one more, two more, tries and Taylor would be fine. 'He's choking on his blood. One of his lungs has been punctured. He - '

The emergency team from the ambulance suddenly descended - I'd been so caught up in the moment, in the movement of the syringe, in Taylor's gasps for breath, that I hadn't realized the ambulance was here.

Taylor was pulled from my grip, gently pushed onto a stretcher and a oxygen mask placed over his face. I was sure Molly was speaking next to me as a paramedic led her towards the ambulance but I couldn't make out her words.

I felt a warmth on my shoulder, someone was talking to me, saying that I might have saved his life but I my eyes were transfixed on Taylor's limp form  as the paramedics rushed around him, the blood pouring from his mouth and his wound.

The blood that was now on me.  
***  
I hovered around once the ambulance sped away, checking on the rest of the people who hadn't been scared away. I kept thinking back to Molly and Taylor inside the ambulance - Molly sobbing her eyes out while Taylor lay still, apart from his gasping breaths.

If I was honest with myself, Taylor probably died the second he was moved onto the stretcher. Once you start breathing in your own blood, you can't really get back from that.

It wouldn't be the first time that somebody had died in front of me. I'd been at the hospital in Oklahoma when my Grandma had died eight years ago. But we hadn't been particularly close and she'd always been distant with me, especially since I'd found out I was pregnant with Lola months before.

This was different, though. There was nothing they could do for her stage 4 cancer. There were things that could be done to treat a punctured lung, procedures that I knew and had attempted. And probably failed.

I didn't really know what to do now.

My skirt and blouse were stained with Taylor's blood and even though I'd thrown away my latex gloves, I could still feel his blood on my hands. I was still shaking a little but I put this down to the cold and the adrenaline that was quickly leaving my system, leaving me numb.

There were cops and other FBI agents milling all over the place, talking to people and collecting evidence. I had no idea where the BAU were - their jeeps were still parked in front of me so I knew they couldn't be far.

I had no reason to be here anymore. But I'd been putting off starting the fifteen minute walk back to my car with an empty stomach and slightly shaky legs.

If I didn't start, then I'd never get home. And I didn't even want to think about what the time was. Or how I was going to explain the blood on my clothes to Joe and Aimee.

I'd started walking a few paces when I heard someone call my name. I turned, seeing Dave trying to catch up to me and slowed my pace. He too looked disheveled and tired, his shirt untucked and his tie lose around his neck.

'You okay?' I nodded, folding my arms across my chest.

'Taylor isn't.'

'Is he...dead?' Dave asked gently and I shrugged, even though my mind was screaming yes. I knew it, deep down in my chest, I knew it. He had to be.

I could still see the blood dripping from his mouth. I could feel the warmth of it as it splattered onto my skin.

'He might as well have died on the floor.'

'That's not your fault.' He insisted, like I knew he would. 'There's nothing more that you could have done.'

'I know.' I sighed. I'd known since the moment I'd locked eyes on him that Taylor's chances were going to be slim. 'If you puncture a lung then you need to be in surgery.'

'This whole part of the city is on lockdown.' Dave explained, pushing his hands into his pockets. 'We've put a warrant out for Mike's arrest - he was gone by the time we got to the alley, as we expected. But we think we've identified this shooter, one of Dylan's former cell-mates.'

'I heard another man talking with Mike in the alley. He sounded local. And young - '

'How young?' Dave questioned, his brows instantly furrowing. Why hadn't I just peered around the corner to see what he looked like? Why did I have to freeze up like a coward? I thought for a moment.

'Eighteen, maybe. It was hard to tell - '

'No matter. We'll get Garcia on it in the morning.' I nodded. Penelope would be able to find something with my practically non-existent information. That there was a kid from the area helping them to kill people.

That was definitely going to find them their next suspect.

I shot Dave a smile, suppressing a yawn as I did so and instantly hoped that he didn't notice. I stepped to turn away but Dave's voice called out to me again. 'Aaron mentioned something about you having some trouble at work?'

I rolled eyes even though I would have much preferred to close them and fall asleep on the spot. 'Is that how he put it?' I smirked slightly, watching Dave chuckle and hold up his hands.

'Okay, he may have made it a bit more dramatic than that...'

'Yeah.' I sighed, thinking back to the conversation that I'd had two hours ago, a conversation that now seemed a world away. 'I'm being sued half a million dollars and she's suing the hospital one million. And I'm pretty sure she's gonna put that price up. And I'm going to lose my job - '

'No you're not.' Dave said confidently and I had to smile. Dave knew basically nothing about me or my work history and yet he still believed in me. I could see why he and Aaron were such good friends.

'Thanks.'

'And if you need any character witnesses, then I'll write something for you. I'm sure the rest of the team will too.'

'I might just take you all up on that.' I breathed. Having a team of FBI agents vouch for me would surely look good to any lawyer. But would it be enough? June Cabot had seemed insistent that this was what she wanted to do - steal her million bucks from me and drag my name through the mud in the process. And I wasn't sure if this would all be enough to stop her.

'You on your way home?' Dave asked and I nodded. I couldn't wait to dive into my bed and forget everything that had happened today. Or, at least, try to forget everything that had happened. I knew it was going to take something drastic to wipe the image of Taylor's blood on my skin and the rasping of his chest out of my mind.

'I'm parked...somewhere down there. There weren't any spaces but I could do with the walk - ' I gestured down the street and even as I said the words, I was cursing why I couldn't have parked closer. Dark, eerie streets with shady alleyways weren't exactly what I wanted right now, given how on-edge I still felt. 'I should get going.'

'No, wait a minute. Officer Meyer can walk you to your car - ' Dave shouted over his shoulder for an officer who was stood on the sidewalk, staring into space and looking slightly bored.

'That's really not necessary.' I said to him. 'You need all the help you can get here...' Meyer smirked at me.

'With all due respect ma'am, I'm doing jack shit right now.' I sighed, rubbing my eyes. I didn't need anyone with me. I was fine.

But I couldn't deny that the prospect of having someone with me did make me feel a little more calm.

'Fine.' I said eventually, and Dave smirked triumphantly.

'Get some sleep.' He told me and I rolled my eyes.

'You too.'

'I've got a long night ahead of me.' He chuckled to himself. 'And I'll tell Aaron that you've gone home.' I hadn't seen him since I'd bitten his head off and banished him from my side. And while I knew he was fine, I would have heard about it if he wasn't, there was a small part of me that felt guilty.

'Look after him.' I said after a moment and Dave nodded, meeting my gaze.

'On it.'

'Stay safe, all of you.' I continued, not quite ready to leave my spot on the sidewalk. Something about having been so close to a gunman made me feel even more paranoid than usual. 'And...I didn't mean to shout at him like that - '

'He needed that.' Dave assured me with a grin. 'Seeing you there made him panic a bit, I think. But you can look after yourself and you reminded him of it. He worries about things too much sometimes.'

He wasn't the only one who did that.

\- Things went a bit darker in this chapter! What did you think?


	27. Viginti Sex

The next morning, I tried to act as normally as possible as I gave the girls their breakfast. They'd been fast asleep when I'd come home and Joe and Aimee had been practically asleep as well. I'd been hoping this would mean they wouldn't ask about the blood on my blouse but it didn't.

I'd had to explain everything to them and Joe had looked as though he wanted to punch something.

I poured myself a glass of water, checking the clock again for what seemed like the twentieth time this morning. I was trying my best to keep to a schedule, seeing as that seemed to be the biggest thing that helped kids with ADHD. I was going to see Lexi's teacher again after school tomorrow. I didn't know whether I'd be able to get away with the same excuse.

I'd have to explain it to her soon. I just didn't know exactly how I'd get the words out.

I'd been right in thinking the image of Taylor's body would keep me up half the night. But what I hadn't predicted was that I'd keep having flashbacks to Molly's face, her red-rimmed eyes that felt like they were boring into my skull.

So many people had died already. Seven bodies, now eight because of Taylor, as well as the countless injuries and the effects that this would have on the families of those involved.

What if this was just too big for the authorities to handle, even the BAU? I hadn't allowed myself to even entertain the idea. But what if it was true?

'Hurry up, you two. We're going to be late - ' I checked the clock again, forcing down a couple of spoonfuls of granola. All this panicking about things made me hungry.

My cell started buzzing just as Lola finished her cereal, handing me the bowl before running up the stairs to get dressed. I grabbed my phone and didn't even check the caller ID as I positioned it in the crook of my neck and started loading the dishwasher.

'Hello?'

'Hey, it's me. I'm sorry I didn't call last night.' Aaron. 'I only got back late. Or early, depending on how you look at it.'

'It's fine.' I said, realizing that I'd been waiting to hear his voice all night. 'Have you got any news from the hospital? About Taylor?'

'Actually, yes. He's still alive.' I didn't know how to respond. That was impossible. I didn't know anybody who'd been able to come back from coughing up so much blood and having their lung collapse. 'He's in ICU and he's flat-lined twice but he's hanging in there.'

'That's - ' I couldn't think of any words. It was a miracle. 'I can't - '

'The doctors said that he would have died hours ago if the air hadn't had been removed from his chest. That was you, Lizzy. If you hadn't had acted so quickly we would have lost him.' I could hear what sounded like admiration in his voice. I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I just couldn't believe it.

And I refused to accept any claim for keeping him alive. If anything, I probably caused his wound to become infected.

'I just can't believe that he's actually still alive.' I said after a moment as Lexi handed me her empty plate.

'How are you? You're the one who had to deal with him - '

'I'm fine.' I insisted, catching my reflection in the microwave and tucking a wisp of hair behind my ear. 'I just wish I could have done more. He's probably going to be in ICU for weeks.'

'At least he's alive.' That, in itself, was a miracle. I should have been satisfied that his heart was still beating. I was sure this was what he was focusing on, rather than the length of his stay in the ICU. 'Dave said something about you not having a great time with Peter last night.'

'Don't remind me - ' I sighed, leaning back against the sink. 'June Cabot's refusing to have another test done, which only makes her look more suspicious. She might be making the whole thing up. I don't know. I need facts. Peter's trying to get me some character references to show that I'm not delusional.'

'Get Peter to come over here.' Aaron said instantly and I smiled slightly, thinking how similar this conversation was to the one I'd had with David yesterday. 'We'll all write one. Garcia will need more paper, she'll be writing so much.'

'I think I'm going to have to take you up on that. I don't think it's looking too good. And I don't have a plan B - '

'You don't need one.' Aaron promised. 'Peter's great at his job. And there's now way her case is going to get anywhere, not going off the details you've told me.'

Sometimes I forgot that Aaron used to be a prosecutor. I only wished I didn't need situations like this to remind me.

'How're you doing with the case?' I asked, checking the clock and brushing away the specks of mascara that were under my eyes. I heard Aaron pause for a moment. That didn't sound good.

'Mike's still not been found. He wasn't at either of the addresses you gave us. And we're still looking for the shooter. But we've got a list of anyone who Dylan Mitchell might have interacted with and everyone on it is being looked into and monitored.'

'It sounds like Penelope has been busy.'

'She has.' I slipped on the heels that were waiting for me by the door and tucked my purple blazer under my arm. 'You shouldn't have followed Mike, you know. He's dangerous.'

'I know that he's dangerous!' I said exasperatedly. Everyone was telling me how dangerous Mike was and I was the only person who had any first-hand experience of how dangerous he actually was. 'I know that better than anyone. But I'm going to do whatever I can to get them locked away for this.'

'I know that. Just...be careful, okay?'

'Okay.' I couldn't put the phone down just yet. Something was still bugging me. 'How many people are going to have to die for this?' I said slowly, more to myself than anyone else. 'What if this - '

I looked up towards the stairs, the sound of Lola and Lexi arguing filling the house. We had to leave any minute now and from the sound of things, they weren't ready.

'I'm sorry, I have to go before the girls kill each other.'

'We'll talk later?'

'Yeah.' I said, realizing most of our conversations were probably going to take place over the phone as opposed to face-to-face. But this was something I was going to have to get over. 'Stay safe.'

***  
At the first available opportunity, I explained everything that had happened last night to Kelly and subsequently Becky. After the initial surprise and sympathetic looks, Kelly joked that we were the crime squad and that, put together, we knew more about what was happening than half of the population.

I didn't really know whether that was a good thing. I was just trying to make it through each day. I wasn't asking for a man's life to be held in my hands.

Taylor and Molly were on my mind a lot more than I expected them to be as I worked through my first couple of patients of the day. Maybe it was because, aside from Mom and Joe's ongoing conflict, this was my first insight into the damage the group was really doing.

And that made me even more eager to figure out where the hell Mike was hiding. The city was on lockdown looking for him. He couldn't hide anywhere. So where was he? The fact that no one had been able to pinpoint his location since I'd heard him in the alley did nothing to answer my questions or calm my nerves.

After my third patient of the day left I lingered by the front desk, exchanging a few words with Kelly and asking how the whole thing with Jordan had gone. 

Apparently, she'd gotten a mixed response - he was interested but was heading out to Indiana tomorrow to visit his family. So there was going to have to be a raincheck for their date.

And going off to visit his family during the holidays meant that he wasn't interested, in her book. Because he hadn't even kissed her either. That was the kicker.

I gazed down the corridor while straightening out the hem of the dark trousers that I was wearing. Today had been fairly standard so far - nothing had gone wrong, nothing had exploded and no one had been sick. That was considered to be a good morning.

My eyes narrowed slightly when I saw Evan slink into his office carrying a pile of files while Hartner continued down the corridor. It was clear they had just been talking because Hartner was looking smug about something.

Something inside of me snapped for the final time. After seeing what I had last night and almost having a man die in my arms, I knew now more than ever that life was too short for this shit.

I had ten minutes until my next patient. That was plenty of time.

'Where are you going?' Kelly called as I took off down the corridor.

'To give Evan a reality check.'

I didn't even knock before entering Evan's office, something that I hadn't ever done before. But I was buzzing with too much frustration to really care about protocol right now. Evan was sat behind his desk, as he always was, and his head shot up as I entered. It was the fastest I'd seen him move in the last three weeks.

'What do you want? Aren't you busy?' I didn't reply, simply shut the door behind me and sat down. Evan sighed, raising an eyebrow at me. Could he really not see what was going on here? Or was he just determined to ignore it?

'Are you for real?'

'What?'

'I don't know who you are anymore.' I said frankly, crossing my legs. 'I'm seeing Evan but whenever you open your mouth, I'm hearing someone else. Someone I don't know.'

Evan stared at me, the pen still in his hand from signing whatever important document someone had thrust into his hand today. His gaze then slipped down to the table and then back to my face.

'The door's behind you. Close it on your way out, please.'

'No!' I leaned forwards, my hands gripping the arm rests.

'I don't want your help!' Evan shouted, his composure suddenly cracking. 'Why don't you get that?'

'I know you're scared.' I said slowly, taking a deep breath. I'd learned that with Evan, shouting at him wouldn't get him to do anything. But that was getting harder with every second that passed. 'I know you're scared of what's happening and because this is how everyone will react when and if you tell them.'

Evan opened his mouth to say something but then closed it. I could see it in his face that he was listening to me, really listening to me. I had to make this next bit count.

'I'd hate you to think that that is how everyone is going to react because it's not. There are people around you who will support you and won't try to steal your job.'

'Who? You?' Evan scoffed and I had to force myself not to fight back. 'You hate me.'

'No, I don't. You're one of the smartest people that I know and what you've managed to achieve by the age of 35 is incredible. I'm honored to be able to work beside you.'

Evan was quiet, staring down at the pen is his hand. The room was silent. I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. 'Even when I yell Harmon down the corridor?' He asked seriously.

'At least you call me by my name.' I said, shrugging. 'Hartner doesn't even see me. He doesn't see the twelve years it took to be here. He just sees my boobs and my accent and immediately calls me a Bible basher.'

'I didn't know that.' Evan said softly.

'I know.' I didn't expect him to know. It wasn't something I really wanted to be thrown around the department. 'But I'm going to go to Terzaki after work to make a complaint. I'm going to ask Dr. Griffin to come to. And I'll happily explain what I've seen them doing to you. But it would also be really nice if you came with us.'

I left the room silently, quietly closing the door behind me as Evan had asked. I could see my next patient waiting in the foyer.

All we had to do was get through the next six hours. And then I could begin to right some of the wrongs that had been going on around here.

\- What do you think of Lizzy and Evan's relationship? Thanks for reading!


	28. Viginti Septem

From the moment I left Evan's office, I was swamped with patients but still managed to find the time to replay our conversation in my head over and over again. I couldn't tell whether I'd got through to him or not. I prayed that I had. I was running out of options.

Because of the restrictions the FBI had set up around the city to try and locate Mike and the rest of the group, there was a lot more traffic build-up downtown and four of my patients had been late for their appointments because of it. This was something that couldn't be helped and, if anything, it gave me a little more time between patients to finish up some paperwork.

I was waiting for my final patient of the day while signing off on some documents that I needed to finish. There was a sudden knock on my door and I looked up to see Kelly stood in the doorway, clutching a pile of files close to her chest.

'There's a Mr. Gladstone here to see you. And I don't think he wants to be tested for anything. At least, not by you - ' She smirked.

'Let him in - ' I said, quickly tidying up my desk. Kelly shot me a confused look.

'Who is he?'

'My lawyer.' I had just about come to terms with the fact that I actually had a lawyer. But it was obvious the people around me hadn't fully.

'Oh.' Kelly peered over her shoulder before turning back to me. 'Cabot still not dropped the case against you?'

'Nope. And I don't know if she will. She seems very determined.' I still couldn't understand her motives for wanting to get me sacked from my job. If I really had made a mistake, then that was fair enough. But the more I really thought about it, the surer I was that this wasn't entirely my doing.

'Want me to go and egg her house? Because I will.' Kelly said seriously and I smiled.

'While that would definitely make me feel better, I don't think it would fix anything else.' If only it could be that simple.

'Shame.' Kelly shrugged, shooting me a long look. 'I'll keep thinking.'

'Alright.' I knew she'd keep thinking. I knew it was killing her that she couldn't do anything else. I knew that if I said so, she really would go and egg June Cabot's house. But I wasn't going to win this with pettiness, even if the prospect made me smile.

After a moment, Peter walked through the door, shook my hand and shot me a smile. I gestured to the chair next to my desk and he sat down, pulling a slightly battered briefcase onto his lap. My stomach was doing cartwheels as I pushed some paper around on my desk.

'So, I've been going round collecting some character references for you, using the names that you gave me as well as some others that I found. I managed to get hold of some of your college professors - '

'Really?' My eyes grew wide. I didn't think he'd look that far back into my academic career. But apparently he had.

'A Professor Jane Talbot couldn't shut up about you.' He said with a smirk and I instantly felt the need to give her a call. I'd loved being in her lessons but I hadn't spoken to her in almost nine years. 'Teacher's pet?'

'A bit.' I admitted with a shrug. That's what made me different from my siblings - Joe had never given much attention to school and Aimee had never gotten on with most of her teachers, though that was more to do with her dyslexia than anything.

'What I've put together to form the basis of your argument, on this account, are the statements I collected from the FBI. I can't ask your colleagues because there'd be a bias - they'd all try and show the hospital in the best light. And I can't ask your family because they'd obviously try and amplify your qualities.'

'What about Aaron?' I didn't know how specific the guidelines went. He wasn't my family but he was more than a friend.

'There's nothing about romantic relationships.' Peter said with a knowing look which made me blush slightly. 'Just direct family. I brought them to show you; I thought you might like to see them.'

He unlocked his briefcase and brought out a pile of handwritten papers, handing them to me. I instantly started smiling when I realised the first one was written by Penelope. I could recognize her large, looping letters anywhere.

Aaron was right about her needing more paper - she'd filled in the first sheet she'd been given and had then needed more. I scanned over her words, feeling Peter's eyes boring into my head.

Penelope was so sweet sometimes. I was going to start crying soon. I could feel the tears building up in my eyes as I took in her comments, about how clever and kind I was.

I turned the page, my eyes latching onto the neat, measured handwriting that had formed three lengthy paragraphs. Aaron. I read over his words, the burning sensation building up in my eyes.

'You okay?' Peter asked gently as I looked away, staring towards the door. I nodded.

'I forget sometimes just how nice people are.'

'They obviously value you very highly.' He said, taking the papers back off me. I didn't think I could read any more or I really would start crying.

'Even when I tell a patient she's clean when she's not?' Peter sighed and looked down at his hands.

'In the time that I've known you, I don't think you're capable of telling a patient something that you didn't wholly believe. What you told June Cabot was your genuine opinion and I think, considering how many patients you've treated, the chance of you making such an obvious mistake is highly, highly unlikely.'

Over the years I'd seen hundreds, possibly thousands of patients. And I'd never, ever made a mistake before. So why would I now?

'There's no way you're getting your license removed if I have anything to do with it.' Everyone was so confident that everything was going to be okay. I had to start believing them. 'I'm surprised I even managed to get them. The BAU was crazy.'

'They're in the middle of an investigation.' I explained, before realizing that Peter probably knew this. It was all over the news. It wouldn't take a genius to put it together. 'They've got a million arrest warrants out.'

'I'm not really sure what's going to come of all this.' Peter admitted, shuffling the papers in his hands. 'They all seem to be scurrying away like rats. They need something to lure them out not force them into hiding.' I stared at Peter for a moment. He was clearly very diplomatic-minded and wasn't just a lawyer.

He and Aaron had definitely spent time together.

He suddenly looked up at me, collecting himself with a smile, and shutting his briefcase. 'But Aaron's the boss and he knows what he's doing. I'll go and submit these.' He gestured to his briefcase. 'And let you get on.'

'Thank you for everything you've done.' I said, standing up to shake his hand.

'I've really not done anything - ' He said with a smile, brushing down his suit. But he had. He'd done so much for me that I could never really explain.

'Just being here. So I'm not alone.' I said softly, feeling slightly embarrassed as I looked off to the side. But if Peter noticed my slight blush he didn't mention it.

'Going off your character statements, you're definitely not alone.' He said firmly. I knew this, of course I knew this, but I sometimes forgot about it. More often than not, my mind would convince itself that I was alone in everything that I did and alone in feeling everything that I felt.

And that was never the case. I was never alone.

There was a light knock on the door and Becky peered her head around the corner, her auburn hair now tied into two French plaits. Kelly must have got her hands on her. She liked showing off her hairdressing expertise. An expertise that I didn't possess. Hence why I kept my hair in a bun for work.

'Miss Hawkins has just arrived.'

Just one more patient. And then Hartner was going to get it.

***  
Thirty minutes later, I was hovering in the foyer with Becky by my side, trying to give Evan as much time as humanly possible to come with us to meet Terzaki.

I'd already checked his office, which was empty, but I knew he couldn't be performing a surgery at almost 6PM. He'd come with us if he wanted to.

And I desperately hoped he did.

I turned to Becky who was sat on one of the chairs in the waiting room, her head resting on her hands. It hadn't taken many words from me to get her to agree to talk to Terzaki. But now, taking in her posture and the way she kept biting her lip, I could see she was getting cold feet.

'You sure you want to do this?' I asked, watching her head whip up to look at me. 'Because you don't have to if you don't want to.'

'No, I want to do this.' She said confidently, meeting my gaze and I smiled. Becky could come across as shy sometimes but when she believed in something there was no stopping her. 'Is Dr. Bartholomew coming too?'

I was the only person, aside from Kelly, that Becky was on a first name basis with at the moment and it made me smile as I stared down the corridor leading from Evan's office. It was empty.

'I don't know.' I said honestly. 'I asked him but I don't know if I actually managed to get through to him.' One thing myself and Evan had in common was how relentlessly stubborn we were. It was like fighting with myself sometimes.

I turned my head at the sound of footsteps and sighed when I saw Kelly walking down the corridor leading from surgery, checking her watch as she did so.

'I know, we need to hurry up if we want to catch Terzaki before he leaves - ' Terzaki always left around the same time and I really didn't want to have to wait until tomorrow morning to get the ball rolling on calling Hartner out on his behavior.

'No, it's not that.' Kelly said seriously and her tone made me pause. 'I've just seen it on the news. The cops just found another body.'

Oh, crap. 

What if what Peter and Gonzalez had said was right? What if all the pushing from the FBI and the cops were just making things worse? I thought back to Peter's words - they were scurrying away like rats. We needed a way of luring them out.

'And it's not just a random guy. The cops think he was in the gang. He was only eighteen - '

The guy I'd heard talking to Mike in the alley. It was him. He'd probably been dragged into the gang in the first place. And now he was dead.

'Gonzalez was right.' Kelly continued as I shared a look with Becky. She was silent, not knowing what to say. 'They're getting bolder and panicking more at the same time. They're turning on each other to cover it up. They don't care anymore - '

'The cops are still out searching for people.' I breathed, meeting Kelly's gaze. Mike's name hung in the air. It was him they were still searching for, him who they thought was instrumental to the case.

He was the one causing the panic, this act of desperation between the men to start killing each other off as their competitiveness continued to grow.

This shit was real.

'Lizzy - ' Becky said suddenly, gesturing towards the clock. In ten minutes time, Terzaki would be leaving. We needed to go now. We'd given Evan as much time as we possibly could, even though it killed me to start walking down the corridor without him.

Kelly gave me a supportive look as we passed her. I still felt partly dazed by her news. How many people were going to get caught up in this? How was it going to end?

Myself and Becky walked in silence, the only noise being the clatter of our footsteps. I knew the way to the Head of Gynecology's office like the back of my hand now, though I noticed Becky lingering a little bit behind me as she followed.

I hadn't actually thought about what I was going to say to Terzaki, other than none of it was going to be in Hartner's favour. I owed Evan that much.

As we got closer, the anxiety began to build in my stomach. But as soon as we turned the final corner, I was filled with something else as I looked at the two figures sat outside Terzaki's office, one hunched over, the other leaning his head against the wall.

Gonzalez, still partly dressed in his scrubs, who I didn't care as much about at that moment. And Evan, who shot up when he saw us.

I couldn't believe he'd actually come. I found myself smiling. He had listened to what I said.

'I thought you'd gone off without me.' He said in greeting as I stepped forwards.

'As if we'd do that.' I teased, ignoring the fact that until ten seconds ago that was exactly what we were going to do. I peered over at Gonzalez who nodded in my direction and I shot Evan a confused look.

'Hartner's in there right now talking to Terzaki. So's Chang. And a governor.' Dr. Chang was head of the surgery units and another one of Evan's kind-of bosses.

But if Hartner was in there and Gonzalez was sat outside, what did that mean? Were they on different sides now? Had Gonzalez finally seen sense and stopped hanging around with a bigot?

I didn't know. But what I did know was that when those doors opened, shit was going to go down. Because this was one thing that I could control the outcome of. And it was going to swing in our favour.

\- Dun dun duuun!


	29. Viginti Octo

I started the engine, my hands gripping the steering wheel tighter than I needed to. I knew that it was late and that I should drive as quickly as I could in order to get to my parents and pick the girls up but I was still feeling slightly dazed as I relived every single word that had been said in Terzaki's office in my head.

I had no idea what Hartner had been talking to Terzaki about while we'd been outside and I'd gathered that Gonzalez didn't either. It might have been something completely unrelated to him being an asshole but, at the same time, it had been awfully coincidental to see him there and I highly doubted it.

How he'd found out we were complaining about him was something that I'd never know the answer to but I was trying to push that part from my mind.

Once Hartner was out of the room and Becky had checked twice that he wasn't lingering outside, we'd clearly stated our case to Terzaki and Chang and explained just what had been going on. Even Gonzalez, whose presence had really shocked me, fully explained just what had been going on between Evan and Hartner.

Maybe I had been wrong about him because he didn't seem to be scared in front of Terzaki and Chang even when he was ratting out his friend. He'd seemed totally in control. Had he just been hanging around Hartner to make a note of every offensive thing he said?

If I thought about Gonzalez's motives for too long then it made my head hurt. I still didn't know whether I trusted him or not but at least I could see that he wasn't as firmly under Hartner's thumb as everyone had first assumed. And I could tell Kelly it was now okay to fawn over him because he wasn't as big a douche as I'd made him out to be.

Terzaki and Chang had both been surprised by our accusations but said that they were going to take what we'd said very seriously and would look into it.

I could breathe at least a partial sigh of relief - we'd done something about him and would now have to see what would come of it. And I'd be on Terzaki's case if he didn't do anything.

I pulled out of the parking lot, glad to see that their roads were fairly empty. It was nearing 7PM and I felt a slight pang of guilt at picking the girls up so late.

I was also feeling apprehensive about what state I was going to find the house in.

Mom and Joe were still arguing on a daily basis with Mom saying Joe didn't care about his life or the rest of our feelings and Joe complaining about Mom trying to control him too much and that she needed to get a grip.

Aimee was sending me frequent text updates about the current state of affairs and it didn't seem to be cooling down any time soon.

What both Mom and Joe were saying was valid but neither of them were going to back down. Stubbornness really was a Harmon family gene because we all had it. But someone was going to have to step in between them at some point - I was hoping that I wouldn't be the one who would have to play moderator.

The constant arguing between them both was ruining the Christmas atmosphere and it was making life pretty unbearable for Aimee and Dad who were doing their best to calm things down but then they'd be accused of choosing a side.

This was another effect the murders were having on the city - they were tearing families apart. And something was going to have to be done about it.

I pulled up in front of my parents house and quickly approached the house - I could see a cartoon playing on the TV but there was no sign of the girls in the living room. I knocked on the door, slightly apprehensive about what I was going to find.

Aimee opened the door, wearing a striped t-shirt, denim jacket and black jeans, and I could instantly tell that something was wrong. On any normal day, Aimee would be belting her lungs out right now.  

'Not singing?' I asked gently, stepping into the hall and hugging her. She shook her head.

'It didn't feel right.' She sighed, folding her arms. 'They're still at each other's throats. We can't cope with this. I keep trying to make Joe see sense, tell him that Mom's just worried about him but he won't have it. So they're not really talking to each other - '

'I'll talk to them.' I wasn't going to let my family tear itself apart like this. I needed to do something.

'How are you?' Aimee asked, which startled me slightly. I shrugged. They knew everything that was going on with me, aside from the Hartner problem, thanks to Kelly's encouragement. 'Dad's trying to get some of his friends to write you a statement.'

More FBI agents on my case could never hurt, could it? And I had met a good few of Dad's colleagues in the past so hopefully they'd say some kind words about me.

'I'm fine.' Aimee rolled her eyes and cocked her head to the side.

'You're not going to get away with saying that.' She said confidently and I sighed.

'I'm sorting the June Cabot thing. My lawyer's a really good guy - Aaron trusts him so I do too.'

'I want to give this June Cabot a good talking to.' Aimee grumbled, pushing her fringe from her eyes.

'It's her health.' I admitted, even if I did have some suspicions that she wasn't being wholly truthful with the test results. 'She can do what she wants.'

'You're too nice sometimes.' Aimee said with a grin, pushing the door open into the empty living room. I could hear giggled coming from upstairs as well as a voice that sounded like Dad. 'And what about the thing with Lex?'

'I'm having another talk with her teacher tomorrow.' I said slowly. The 'thing' with Lex was what filled me with the most anxiety. I could cope with June Cabot because in that situation she was only attacking me. But with this, it was Lexi who was coming under fire.

'I've been talking with Dad and we suppose we can see it. She's always had trouble sleeping and listening to instructions and - ' Aimee trailed off when she noticed my expression. I shrugged.

'The more I think about it, the more I see it.' I said slowly, feeling my stomach tighten. I'd been trying to convince myself that there was nothing there in an attempt to keep my pride, but the longer I kept up the pretense, the more I was hurting Lexi.

'And that's nothing on you.' Aimee gently rubbed my shoulder and I shot her a smile. 'If you're watching your kids every second of every day wondering what illness or disorder they've got then you wouldn't be living. And then you wouldn't be a parent and I'd have to adopt them - '

'That's good to know.' I said with a smile.

'I would have said this all in song form but I don't want Mom to start ranting at me. She's been doing that a lot lately - '

'I'll sort it out.' I promised, looking out into the music room where I could see Joe moping over the piano.

'Mom's in the kitchen. And Dad's upstairs with Lola and Lex.' Aimee murmured and I nodded.

'Let's keep it that way for a minute. I'm going to tackle Mom first.'

'Brave choice.' Aimee joked and I rolled my eyes as I slipped past her into the kitchen. Mom had her back to me as I entered, a tea-towel flung over her shoulder as bustled around, drying dishes and putting them away.

'Hey Mom.' I smiled, leaning against the door-frame and watching her turn to face me.

'Oh, hello dear. I didn't hear you come in - '

'You okay?'

'Yes, I'm good.'

I narrowed my eyes and she turned away to reach for another plate. No matter what she was saying, it was clear something was off. She should be asking me questions about every single second of my day, overwhelming me with questions about June Cabot and Kelly and Lexi.

But there was nothing. Today, she was more interested in drying plates. So far, she'd been like this every day this week. Behind me, I could hear Aimee quietly talking to either Carrie or Jess on her cell. I took a deep breath.

'I don't know how to word this so - '

'What is it?' I paused for a moment. How did I go about doing this without becoming the most hated person in the family?

'This is what they want.' Mom's expression instantly changed; she knew exactly what I was talking about. 'They want to change everybody's lives and scare everyone and assert the power that we're giving them. And treating Joe like you are is buying into all of that - '

'I'm not - ' Mom started but I cut her off. I was going to have to put my foot down here.

'I know why you're doing it and completely understand it all. You have every single right to worry. But Joe does care about his life - that's why he wants to go out and live it and not let this stop him. Please.' I shot Mom a desperate look.

She was biting her lip and leaning against the counter, a hand on her hip. She hadn't bitten my head off yet. That was good; that was progress.

'It's Christmas.' I continued. 'Please stop fighting - '

I heard a sudden cough behind me and turned to see Joe with a confused look on his face. Behind him, Aimee was smirking slightly. She'd definitely done something to get Joe into the kitchen. I only hoped I didn't blow it all at the last minute.

'Aimee said that you wanted me.' He said, defiantly ignoring Mom who turned away from him. I sighed at her actions. Yes, we could be stubborn but we could also be petty.

'Yes, I want a word.' I said simply and Joe rolled his eyes.

'Here we go.' He murmured under his breath, turning away, but I grabbed the cuff of his sleeve.

'Don't be like that.' I said firmly, knowing that I only had a limited amount of time before everything blew up in my face. 'Mom's got every right to worry and you know it. If she wasn't worried about you, she'd be a heartless cow. She's your Mom, Joe, of course she's going to worry about you.'

'There's a difference between - '

'I'm not finished.' I said sharply, cutting him off and turning back to look at Mom. 'Everyone in this house just wants Joe to be safe and to be able to go out and live his life.' I looked Joe and Mom in the eye, daring them to comment but neither one did because this was an disreputable fact.

That was what this whole thing came down to. And no one could argue with me on it.

'Now, you two need to talk.' I stepped back to allow Joe to enter, giving him a sharp look. He sighed and nodded.

I gently closed the door to the kitchen, taking the fact that neither of them had started screaming as a good sign. Maybe I'd accomplished something after all.

Aimee was stood in the conservatory behind a microphone and when she saw me she shot me a grin and gave me a thumbs up, just as the opening chords of a song began. I recognized it instantly and rolled my eyes.

'You're a miracle worker!' Aimee giggled, swaying her hips to the music. 'So I figured you deserved a song.'

Aimee could be so corny and cheesy sometimes but that was why I loved her.

FEATURED SONGS:  
Uptight (Everything's Alright) - Glee Cast

\- Things are looking up slightly! But what about Mike?


	30. Viginti Novem

I halted at the traffic lights, sandwiched between two battered trucks, cursing the rush hour traffic. I'd just dropped the girls off at my parents and was now heading back home. And while I knew I should be looking forward to tonight my mind, as per usual, was focused on the conversation I'd had half an hour ago with Lexi's teacher.

They'd had a behavioral expert in today watching Lex to see whether she thought there was an undiagnosed condition going on. She wanted to come and observe Lex in her natural environment - at home - at some point during the holidays and we'd agreed a date.

I still had no clue how I was going to explain it all to Lex. But I was going to have to do it, and soon.

I would have probably done it tonight just to get it out of the way if the girls weren't staying at my parents while I went to the Christmas party. I hated handing the girls over sometimes, even though I had been doing it for the last eight years.

It made me feel guilty and that I was failing as a parent all at the same time. I'd been feeling like that a lot lately.

But even the behavioral expert had said that whatever Lexi's diagnosis was, it wasn't a reflection of anything that I'd done. Lexi was clearly a very happy child and I clearly loved her; apparently she talked about me all the time in class.

Still. That only comforted me so much.

I pushed forward down the road, keeping an eye on the time.  I had just less than two hours before the party was due to start. 'Party' was a relative term - in reality, we were just sitting down at a bar having some food and a lot of drinks.

I'd almost forgotten about it and probably would have, if Kelly hadn't reminded me this morning. And I never forgot about the Christmas party because it was Christmas; I adored Christmas. And yet, I wasn't feeling particularly cheery or festive today, despite it being only six days until the big day.

Like the weather, I was feeling gray and miserable.

June Cabot had upped her offers - she was suing the hospital 1 million bucks now and I had a sinking feeling that it would be a matter of hours before she upped what she was suing me.

Peter had said that it sometimes got worse before it got better but that sounded like some tropical disease rather than a legal case that would dictate my entire future.

Anyway, I couldn't be miserable tonight. I had a party to get to.

***  
I hurried down the stairs, trying to fasten the back of my earring while opening the door. I could hear the rain thundering outside and I knew Kelly would not be happy if I left her standing in the rain.

I swung open the door and stepped back to let Kelly enter and despite the rain, she looked remarkably cheerful. Maybe that was just because of the promise of alcohol.

'I love your outfit!' She said with a grin, peeling off her coat and shaking out her sodden umbrella as I shut the door. I was planning on wrapping up as much as possible, seeing as I didn't want to get ill like Aaron, so was wearing a jumpsuit with navy fitted trousers, a cream top and a bright orange belt around my waist.

And one earring. The other one was still sitting on my dressing table.

'You look great, too. Very festive - ' I said, gesturing to her red beaded dress. 'We've got ages before we need to leave yet. I'm just sorting my hair out.'

'Sure thing - ' Kelly followed me up the stairs as I returned to my bedroom and secured the other earring in my ear. Kelly flopped onto my bed, after leaving her heels by the door, and shot me a smile. 'Is everyone going?'

'I think so - ' I said as I started straightening my hair.

'The whole floor? Including douchey Dr. Hartner?' We'd both come to the mutual agreement that Gonzalez was no longer one of the 'douchey doctors' which meant Kelly could now flirt, or try and flirt, with him without feeling guilty.

'I hope not.' I was secretly, or not so secretly, hoping that parties really weren't Hartner's scene and he'd just stay at home. I didn't know how likely this was to happen, however.

'Evan wouldn't invite him, would he?' I shrugged. Everyone was supposed to be invited to the party by whoever was organizing it, this year Evan, but no one really followed that rule anymore. Anyone could turn up, as long as they had an employee pass.

'He might do if he's terrified of him.'

'Is he really terrified of him?'

'Yeah.' Even though I knew Evan would never admit it, I could read between the lines. 'That's what's making him so quiet. And why he's spending so much time in his office - Terzaki doesn't have that much paperwork for him.'

'Hartner's such a douche.' He really was. And I hated what he was doing to Evan, even if I hadn't explicitly caught him doing anything.

'He wants Evan place on the board.' I explained, turning to look at Kelly who was re-arranging the cushions on my bed, careful not to singe my hand. 'And Evan's just beginning to accept who he is and now he's going to hate himself if he thinks everyone is going to discriminate him.'

Kelly didn't reply; there was nothing really to say. We'd already covered the fact that we both hated Hartner. That was all there was to it.

'I can't believe one of the suspects are dead.' Kelly said as I finished off my hair. 'The whole thing is just nuts.'

I was still trying to process the fact that a man I'd heard talking had been found floating in the river. He'd been barely more than a kid.

'Pen's been updating me a little.' I said, smoothing down my hair. 'The group's unpredictable now so that's thrown the profile off. But they've got suspects, the hard bit is finding them. They're trying to find a way to lure them out.'

'How are you feeling about Mike?' Of course Kelly could see that I was thinking about him. She and Penelope were basically the two different halves of my brain. I sighed and turned to face.

'He's stressing me out a bit.' I admitted, sitting down on my bed next to Kelly as she sat up.

'Why?'

'I don't know.' I sighed. I didn't know why I was thinking about him so much. He wasn't interested in me, he was interested in killing people. But I still couldn't get him out my head. 'He might go after someone else. Or he might come after me...'

'No, he won't. Stop panicking - ' Kelly said firmly.

'He might come after Joe.' He might do. I didn't know how his brain worked. And if he wanted to get back at me, then coming after my brother would be a pretty good way to do it.

'If he's any sense, then he'll stay in whatever hole he's hiding in instead of coming after you. Or Joe.'

'But he doesn't have any sense. We figured that out a while back.' I said with a sigh.

'That's true. He was a dick. Hot, but a dick.'

'That's always how it is.' I said with a roll of my eyes, ignoring the sick feeling that rose in my stomach whenever I thought of Mike as attractive or hot or anything remotely sexy. I preferred not to think about him at all.

My cell suddenly buzzed and I reached for it, seeing that Dad had sent me a message.

How are you getting home? Is Aaron picking up you?

I quickly replied, with Kelly peering over my shoulder, that no, Aaron was not picking me up and I was planning on getting a cab home. Aaron was working hard to stop the killings that were happening and the BAU had been kicked into overdrive ever since the media had increased their presence on the case.

'It's not his job to chauffer me around everywhere.' I said, rolling my eyes as Kelly pulled me down to lie next to her on my bed. The cab I'd ordered was still a couple of miles away and I had nothing else to do. I could feel Kelly staring at me and turned to look at her. 'What?'

'Nothing.' She replied, waiting half a second before continuing. 'I don't need a lecture, I know I'm high maintence. But I'd want to see a boyfriend pretty much every day. That's why you're better than me - '

'That doesn't make me better than you.' I said firmly, resting my hands on my stomach. 'You just have different needs in a relationship.'

And sure, seeing Aaron every day would be pretty great but I knew that was never going to happen and I was never expecting it to.

'What happened with Lex's teacher? Kelly asked after a moment.

'This woman wants to come for a home visit in a couple of weeks to Lex in her natural environment - to see how she behaves then.' This wasn't until after the holidays; I had loads of time to bottle up the courage to try and explain to Lexi what was going on.

'And are you okay?' No matter the situation, Kelly always cared about my feelings. Always.

'I'm getting used to it. But I've no idea how I'm going to explain the whole thing to a six year old.' I said grimly.

'We can work that out later when we're drunk.' Kelly said with a grin and I rolled my eyes. 'Everything is easier when you're drunk.' From the years of experience I had with going out with Kelly, some things were most certainly not easier when intoxicated.

'I'm working tomorrow.' I reminded her. 'And so are you.'

'No one will care.' Kelly said with a shrug, the both of us knowing that most of the employees were really just counting down the seconds until they could clock out for the holidays. And if some of their colleagues were slightly drunk, who were they to judge?

Still. I didn't like to think of performing any examinations while I was feeling sick or light-headed.

'We can drink enough so that we like Hartner.' Kelly continued.

'I don't think there's enough alcohol in the world for that.' I said with a smirk. It wouldn't matter just how much alcohol my brain was swimming in - my dislike for Hartner would still be there.

'And then you - ' Kelly pointed a finger at me, 'can drink a bit more so that you start to see what the rest of us do and find Gonzalez hot.'

'There's definitely not enough alcohol for that.' I said with a smile as Kelly sighed dramatically and my cell buzzed again. Our cab was here.

Time to get this thing started.


	31. Triginta

I pushed through the crowds of people, Kelly's sharp grip on my wrist dragging me through the swarm. It seemed that many people were having the same idea that we were - drowning our sorrows in some mulled wine, or beer, or whatever your beverage of choice was - because the bar was basically bursting at the seams.

I slipped through the rest of the crowd towards the table at the back of the room that Evan had reserved, the grip on my wrist finally disappearing as saw Sylvie who was nursing a glass of white wine and Becky, who was looking slightly awkward at the whole thing

Around the table was sat practically every other member of the Gynecology and surgery department, dressed in semi-formal festive attire, clutching a glass of something.

It was always weird seeing people from work outside of the hospital, other than Kelly who I saw almost every day anyway. But it reminded me that work wasn't just work - work was made up of people too and I was lucky enough to work with some of the best in the business.

'I'm off to get drinks!' Kelly announced, finally releasing Becky from her grip and disappearing back into the crowd before I could stop her or even open my mouth. She thrived in situations like this, her energy fizzing around her like something tangible I could actually touch.

I gazed around the table again, stepping towards Sylvie and greeting her with a hug. Something was buggine me, though and I finally put my finger on it. One figure was missing from the table.

Evan.

Evan was usually early for everything. That was something that I'd learned very early on. And he wasn't usually one to miss out on social events which would give him a chance to whip out a sarcastic comment or witty remark.

'The roads all around his house are closed off by the police.' Sylvie said, obviously noticing my wandering eyes as she paused her conversation with Dr. Montoya. 'He's probably going to be a bit late because of the traffic.'

Right. Because the killings were now effecting everybody's lives, on way or another.

I pushed this thought from my mind, moving over towards Becky and hugging her before sitting down in the chair next to her. She was dressed in a emerald green jumper dress, tights and brown knee-high boots, an un-touched glass of gin and tonic sitting in front of her.

'Someone bought it for me - ' She said with a slight roll of her eyes and I smiled, scanning the crowd in front of me for any sign of Kelly. I knew that she might be gone a while and it had nothing to do with the fact she could sometimes be indecisive. Some semi-drunk party-goer was undoubtedly going to take a pass at Kelly and she was going to give as good as she got.

'Mike was your boyfriend, right?' Becky asked suddenly, looking at me slightly nervously. Someone had told her, then. Or she'd just put the pieces together. It wasn't like I was exactly hiding it anymore.

'Yep. And his ex-wife is now one of my patients.' This was still an entertaining bit of information that I liked throwing around, even if I could now consider Natasha a friend. Becky raised an eyebrow at me and her eyes grew wide.

'Do you want to swap?' Sylvie asked suddenly, coming to sit down next to me, dressed in a tight-fitting navy lace dress.

'I'll manage.' I said with a smile. 'And once we talked things out a bit, I found that she's actually really lovely.'

'We could have done with a fist-fight to liven the place up a bit.' Sylvie complained with a smirk and I rolled my eyes, looking up suddenly when a glass was slammed down on the table.

'I've got this first round boys!' Kelly announced, gesturing to the tray of drinks that she was precariously balancing in her hands. Three quarters of the male staff were over the age of 45 and I didn't think could be classed as boys anymore but I didn't point this out, instead narrowing my eyes at the variety of drinks Kelly was passing around the table, toasting everyone as she did so.

Montoya's glass was only two-thirds full. Someone unfortunate party-goer was going to discover they had beer sloshed down their back at some point tonight and I didn't really want to be around when they did.

Kelly passed me a large glass of champagne and I narrowed my eyes at her as she did so. 'You sure you're not drunk already?' I teased, knowing she was drunk off the atmosphere more than anything. Give it a few hours and that would change, but still. 'Do I need to take a urine sample?'

'Can't you ever stop being a doctor?' Kelly said, her voice a little louder and with a more prominent Spanish edge than usual. I was guessing she'd downed a drink already, probably bought for her by a hopeful drunkard at the bar.

'No.' I said bluntly, throwing her a grin and taking the champagne glass in my hand. Kelly rolled her eyes exaggeratedly and sighed.

'Well, Bex is on my side. And she's not mean to me - '

'I'm a doctor too.' Becky pointed out.

'But you don't gang up on me, unlike someone I could mention - ' Kelly said, bending down to ruffle my hair and tap me on the nose. I glared at her.

I would have shot back at her with something, either something else about her being drunk or the look that Dr. Garret was currently giving her, despite him having flirted with pretty much every woman in the hospital, if the words hadn't suddenly been snatched from my mouth by the two figures that approached the table.

Hartner and Gonzalez. And while Gonzalez did look very attractive in his tight grey shirt and trousers - and Kelly definitely picked up on this as he entered - I couldn't help but glare over in Hartner's direction while the surgeons welcomed him. Becky stiffened up next to me.

'I hope I haven't missed anything - ' Hartner joked as he started shaking people's hands.

'Nope - ' I said and he looked over at me and nodded in my direction, smirking.

Apparently, it had been too much to wish for that Hartner simply wouldn't show up.

'Why is he here?' Kelly hissed in my ear, her voice echoing down my eardrum.

'He works on the floor.' I watched him intently as he worked his way around the surgeons, shaking their hands and talking with them. I didn't how his colleagues put up with him.

'He can fuck off.' Kelly spat before straightening up and downing the rest of her wine. When Kelly got drunk, all hell broke lose and that was exactly what I needed right now because every time I looked in Hartner's direction and saw his smug face, I wanted to punch him.

'Are we going to get some food, then? I'm starved - ' Hartner said with a grin.

'We're waiting for Evan.' Sylvie replied coolly. I was practically waiting for Hartner to make a comment because when he did, I would be onto him in an instant.

'Surely we can at least look at some menus?' He said, looking over at Gonzalez for his opinion. But Gonzalez was deep in conversation with Dr. Moretti, a lovely trauma-specialist who lived up to every inch of his Italian name.

Hartner had lost the one 'ally' that he'd had. And now I was free to glare at him all I wanted.

'I'll go and find some.' I said, rising from my hair and dislodging Kelly from where she'd been leaning on my shoulder in the process. I was famished and even though every inch of me hated doing whatever Hartner suggested, if I could get away from him for even one instant I was going to take it.

I weaved my way slowly through the crowds towards the bar, clenching my fists. I wasn't going to let Hartner get me down. Then I would just be letting him win. And that was one thing that I was never going to let happen.

I found an empty spot at the bar and leaned up against the counter, waiting for a bartender to approach me, when another figure appeared next to me. I'd been so swept up in my thoughts and concentrating on not bumping into anyone that I hadn't realized I'd been walking in step with Gonzalez.

He shot me a smile as I looked up at him. 'The next round's on me.' He clarified with a shrug. I nodded, fixing my attention on the bartender for a moment as I asked for some menus, before turning towards him.

It hit me that I'd never had an actual conversation with him that involved just the two of us - maybe this would be a good time to figure out where he really stood.

But all I could really think about was the way he was leaning up against me, too close to be an accident. He was not flirting with me. I wasn't here for this.

'You look amazing.' He said and if I had looked up, I was willing to bet I would have seen him checking me out.

'Thanks.' I replied flatly, keeping my gaze ahead of me. I almost wanted to laugh.

He nudged me slightly with his elbow as he leaned forward to order the drinks and I had to restrain myself from completely pushing him away.

I could feel him looking at me from the corner of his eyes, the eyes that were dark brown and tinged with green that I knew Kelly had been pining after.

He was so flirting with me.

'Can I get you a drink?' He asked, his voice smooth with a trace of his accent peaking through. I shook my head.

'I'm fine.'

'You sure? Christmas is the time for buying all your colleagues drinks, isn't it?'

'I'm fine, honestly.' I repeated, turning to look at him. His gaze really was intense when you looked at him head on and I could appreciate why Kelly had formed such an attraction towards him, for his eyes if for nothing else.

'Alright. But how about a snack? You must be hungry - '

'Look - ' I cut him off sharply, stepping away slightly so our arms were no longer touching. 'If you want to flirt with me, I have to really like you and be available. The jury is still out on that first one and I'm in a relationship. So, sorry, but you're going to have to look elsewhere - '

I seized the menus that the bartender passed me and left Gonzalez alone at the bar. Had I been too harsh on him? His intentions might have been harmless but whenever I looked at him, I automatically remembered his association with Hartner and backed off.

But he'd shown himself to be different than Hartner. And he was a very talented surgeon, not that that meant I automatically had to like him.

Everything was piling up and hurting my head and I didn't have enough energy left to start second-guessing Gonzalez's every move. This was one thing I was willing to leave and just see what happened.

And I'd have to hope that I didn't come to regret it later.  
***  
Evan arrived soon afterwards and the food was ordered. Evan positioned himself as far away from Hartner as he could possibly get at the table. Whether this was simply because that was where the last empty chair was located or he was doing it out of fear, I didn't really know.

I was still thinking about Gonzalez and whether I could stop being indifferent towards him. I hoped so. I didn't want Kelly pining for someone who didn't deserve her.

Only when the food arrived and I stopped feeling so pathetically hungry did I stop worrying and start focusing on what was happening right in front of me. I could almost imagine that Hartner wasn't here; everyone was chatting about their personal lives and what they'd got up to at the weekend and no one mentioned the murders once.

No one needed to mention it to me, though. It came to mind every single time I looked at Evan. And seeing as he was sat two chairs down from me, this was difficult to avoid.

I found myself in conversation with Evan while Becky and Montoya went off to get the next round of drinks. At least if I was talking to him, then Hartner couldn't be picking on him. That was my thinking, anyway.

Once we'd got the pleasantries out of the way, I asked Evan if he had any plans for Christmas. He paused a moment, taking a long gulp of his beer. That didn't look too good. People were supposed to be happy in the holidays, not look like they were going to their own funeral.

'My sister is coming to visit. From Minnesota.'

'Isn't that a...good thing?' I asked gently. I'd had no idea that Evan even had a sister, no matter that she lived nineteen hours away by car.

'I've not seen her for a few years.' I raised an eyebrow. I couldn't even imagine not seeing Aimee or Joe for that long. Even when I had been at med school, I'd made sure to come home every couple of weeks. 'She's a lawyer, so she's very busy.'

'And why don't you look more pleased about it?'

'I don't know what to get her. Like, at all. Mom only told me she was coming to visit yesterday so it's kind of last minute.' Evan looked miserable. But, luckily for him, present buying was one of my specialties.

'Does she have any hobbies?' Evan shrugged.

'I don't know! I haven't seen her for three years. I've no idea what she likes - ' Evan sat slumped in his chair, staring down at his pint glass.

'How about flowers? They're usually a safe bet...'

'I don't know what flowers she likes...' The fact that he was thinking so hard about this made me smirk slightly. Some people didn't give a second thought as to whether the person they were buying the gift for would actually like it.

'What is she like? Girly? Sophisticated?'

'A lawyer.' Evan said bluntly and I gave him a hard look. 'She's never out of a pencil skirt. Apparently. She sometimes Skypes Mom.'

'Okay, so she's a professional. You want something elegant, not too flashy. How about an orchid?'

'I'll take whatever recommendation I can get.' He said with a small smile, taking his cell out his trouser pocket. 'I'll make a note of it. Thanks.'

'No problem.'  
***  
Once the plates were cleared away, Evan was bullied into making a short speech seeing as he was the only Head of Department present. He'd argued that he wasn't strictly the head of Gynecology to which I'd swiftly reminded him he was our sub-leader and performed all of my operations. He was making a speech.

It wasn't so much of a speech than a couple of words. He congratulated everyone on their hard work this year and wished them a happy holiday period so we could all come back to complete more important work.

I'd caught Kelly rolling her eyes slightly when he'd sat down amid the cheers. So his speech hadn't been the most exciting thing I'd ever heard. But I was still proud of him for standing up in front of Hartner, even if he hadn't exactly looked him in the eye.

Soon, the full effects of the alcohol was setting in and some of the older doctors began to leave. I was in the unfortunate position of sharing a cab with Kelly, meaning I only left when she left. While I was on my third glass of wine, Kelly looked to be on her fifth mojito.

And while she had the highest alcohol tolerance of anybody that I'd ever met, I knew I was going to have a hard time wrangling her into cab.

Eventually more people began to leave, including Sylvie and Becky who both claimed they needed to sleep off the alcohol before work tomorrow. And while this was a very good idea, I was enjoying chatting with Kelly just a little too much to hold back from ordering a small bottle of cider.

Kelly, Gonzalez, Hartner and myself were the only people left sat at the table, save Evan who had gone to the bathroom before taking the trip home. I had no idea why Gonzalez was still here but I knew Kelly was having a lot of fun shooting him flirty looks from across the table.

I'd never seriously considered Kelly and Gonzalez being a thing but he wasn't exactly objecting to her flirting. But he'd flirted with me, too. Maybe that was just his thing? Or maybe that was just him being friendly?

I looked up at the sound of familiar voices while Kelly stared seductively across at Gonzalez. I would have felt slightly sorry for him if my eyes hadn't locked onto Evan who was pulling on his coat and trying to push through the crowd and Hartner who was practically grabbing onto his arm.

'Come on, Kel.' I insisted sharply, downing what remained of her mojito and grabbing her jacket. 'We're going.'

I didn't hear her protests as I stormed towards Hartner, the alcohol in my system pushing me further than I would have normally gone.

'Can I have a word?' I demanded as Hartner slowly turned to face me, his face neutral. Kelly, in her drunken stupor, was engaging in conversation with Evan but I didn't care what they were saying. 'Let's get something straight. You need to leave Evan alone.'

'We were just talking.' Hartner said nonchalantly.

'I don't care - '

'That's not very nice.'

'And I'm not bothered. If I see you talking, or even attempting to talk, to Evan then you're going to regret it.' Hartner's eyes looked even darker under the shady lights of the bar but, unlike Aaron's whose were warm, they were cold and unfeeling. He stepped towards me, the muscles rippling in his arms as he crossed them.

'Why?' His voice was barely more than a whisper. 'What're you going to do about it?'

'I can ruin you career with one phone call. Leave him alone. If I see you anywhere near him, then it's war. And nothing gets past me. Understood?'

I didn't give him chance to respond, knowing it would be a snarky comment or nothing at all. I pushed straight past him, knocking him with my hip as I did so, and approached Kelly and Evan. Kelly was smirking.

'And that's why no one messes with Lizzy - '

'How are you getting home?' I pushed on, noticing Evan's slightly shocked appearance.

'I was going to get a cab...' He said after a moment.

'Ours is already here.' I said gesturing towards the door. 'You can get a ride.'

\- What do you think about Gonzalez? And Lizzy taking Hartner on? What's going to happen next?


	32. Triginta Unus

The last twelve hours had been an absolute blur. The morning had been a little rocky, as I'd pushed through the light haziness of my hangover and the final day of work before the holidays.

I'd firmly ignored the headache that had gripped me since the moment I'd woken that morning, after getting very little sleep and tried to focus on the positives: I hadn't seen Hartner all morning; Peter had called to say my case was going well and he wasn't leaving his office until June Cabot agreed to take another test; I'd been given three boxes of biscuits from patients.

And then someone turned on the news. And no one knew what to think.

It was being talked about on every single news channel that the scheduled pride event, that no one had even known was scheduled, was taking place in a matter of hours.

I'd asked every employee that I could fine and none of them had known about a scheduled pride event. I was certain that Aimee and Joe would have mentioned something about it if they'd known, especially considering everything that was going on right now.

And then it had hit me. This wasn't simply a celebration - it had been put on by the FBI to try and lure the remaining gang members out. Whether that made it stupid or a piece of genius I wasn't entirely sure.

But as soon as I got the text from Aimee saying that they'd spoken to the organizers and had managed to get themselves onto the performer's list for the event, I had to attend.

Everything that had been building up inside my head for the last few weeks would climax at that event - my disputes with Hartner, the conflict within my family, all the shit with Mike.

Mike.

He hadn't been arrested yet. He hadn't even been found, despite half the city being on lockdown. And that meant there was a strong chance, an almost certain chance, that Mike was going to show up.

The fact that I might come face to face with Mike filled me with dread. It made me feel slightly sick. But I wasn't about to not attend because of the small chance of bumping into him. I wasn't going to let him dictate what I did and where I went.

Around lunchtime, when news of the event had circulated around the hospital and almost every employee was making a plan to bunk off work, I suddenly got a call from Aaron. And he told me what I'd already guessed - they were using this to try and lure out the remaining members.

'We know that it's risky but it's our best, and pretty much only, option that we've got right now. Every cop in the city is going to be patrolling the area, as well as as many agents that we can spare.'

'I'm going to try and bunk off work and come down.' I said, checking the time. The event was scheduled to start at 3 PM. 'Kelly's coming too, I think. And Aimee and Joe are singing, apparently - '

'Yeah, I saw their names on the billing order.' He paused for a moment. 'Are you sure that - '

'You've spent the last half an hour telling me just how safe this is going to be but suddenly, now that I want to go, it's become dangerous?' I teased. 'I think that's called being hypocritical.'

I knew that he was just looking out for me, the same way I'd started panicking the second I heard Joe and Aimee were performing at something that was being created to attract killers. But I couldn't control their lives, the way Mom had tried to.

'Fine.' I heard Aaron sigh but I could tell he was smirking. 'I know I'm not going to be able to convince you otherwise.' The man was learning quickly.

My next patient was going to arrive any second now but something was preventing me from putting the phone down. I didn't entirely know why. Maybe it was because it was beginning to hit me just how serious the pride event was. I might not be able to speak to Aaron later. And what if something happened?

'I've got a patient in a minute but I don't want to go.' I complained with a sigh, leaning back in my chair.

'Go.' Aaron insisted. 'I don't want you getting into trouble because of me.'

'I'm already in trouble.' I said with a smirk, thinking back to last night. 'I told Hartner to knock it off with Evan and he didn't look too pleased about it. And it might have been the alcohol, but I definitely went into protective mama-bear mode.'

'Remind me not to piss you off again.' Aaron said with a chuckle, but there was a sharpness to his words that I instantly picked up on.

'You didn't piss me off - ' I told him, wondering how I'd got to the stage where I could look back on the night of our argument almost fondly. It certainly hadn't been fond at the time.

'Then I want to know what pissing you off feels like. Or rather, I don't - '

'Very funny.' There was a sudden knock on my door and I sighed. I had to get back to work, even if it was the last day and my head was still spinning slightly. 'I'm going to have to go or Kelly will batter the door down. But I'll see you later.'

'Yeah, I'll see you later.'

We were both kidding ourselves. I didn't know whether I really would see him later and neither did he. All I did know was that if this didn't work then we were going to have a problem.

***  
Two and a half hours later and it was clear that most of the hospital had had the same idea as me about bunking off work, given how many employees I'd seen wandering around the park. I knew this wasn't going to fare well with senior management and our wages would all probably be docked but I didn't really care.

I wanted to be here. I had to be here.

Stretched out in front of me were rows and rows of stalls, all promoting different charities and organizations that were selling their products or handing out flyers.

Whoever's job it had been to sort of the logistics of the event in less than six hours really deserved a pay rise. Or a promotion. Or both.

I'd already passed the main stage area where Aimee and Joe were belting out some of their favorite songs, the open guitar case placed in front of them steadily filling with tips. Fear made me people more charitable, apparently.

I was scanning the face of every person that passed me, trying to figure out whether I knew them or not. I knew what my brain was doing. It was subconsciously searching for Mike in the faces that were swimming in front of me.

I'd already warned Kelly several times on the drive over to be careful and that no one, not even the FBI, could predict what was going to happen. I'd left Aimee, Joe and Aaron several texts.

I hadn't said it to a single one of my colleagues.

And now, standing in the blustery park with my coat wrapped around me and wisps of my hair flying around my face, I felt like I should have. The guilt was gnawing away at my stomach. I hadn't wanted to create any more panic, which was the FBI were trying to prevent.

But still. I still felt like I should have said something.

'This all feels fake.' Kelly murmured, stood next to me, with her thick bomber jacket zipped up to her chin. 'Like the calm before the storm...'

'Let's hope it's not.' I replied, beginning to walk towards the stage where Aimee's voice was echoing across the park. No one else seemed to be on edge; everyone seemed calm and cheery and had a smile on their face. Or maybe they were just all very good at hiding it.

'They're trying to draw the gang out.' Kelly said with a sigh, as though she was reminding herself. 'But I'd rather they were arrested in their apartments rather than at something public like this where people could get hurt.'

'They tried that and it didn't work. They're not going to hide and be sitting ducks.' I spotted the familiar figure of Spencer up ahead, wrapped in a black water-proof jacket. I'd also been keeping an eye out for any of the team but Spencer was the only one I'd seen so far.

'Hey,' I said with a smile, standing next to him and shooting Aimee a wink as she launched into her next song. 'You guys seen anything yet?'

'Not yet.' Spencer said as she slowly trailed his eyes over the people passing him. 'But I'm sure something will come up. These un-subs want to inject themselves into the investigation as well as assert their power. They'll show.'

'She's so good.' Kelly said, gesturing to Aimee and I grinned.

'They definitely didn't pass the musical gene on to me.' I saw Spencer narrow his eyes before realization seemed to dawn on his face.

'They're your siblings?' I nodded.

'Yeah. And Joe's bi, so we're all pretty passionate about it.' I paused to clap while Aimee belted out her final note before Joe stepped up to the microphone. I smirked at the opening chords. Newsies. 'Of course they had to get a musical in there somewhere.'

'Anything?' I looked up at the sudden voice, seeing that Aaron was now standing next to Spencer, his eyes pinned on the people in front of him and his hands shoved into his pockets.

'Not yet.' Aaron caught my eye and smiled at me. I forced myself to smile back; I couldn't allow myself to get stressed out by the whole situation and start to panic. I wouldn't be helping anybody then, least of all myself.

'Here.' Aaron pulled something out of his pocket, something that made me clench my fists a little tighter and reminded me just what the stakes were.

A gun.

'In case things get hairy.' He said, catching the look on my face. I knew that I needed to take it quickly, to avoid other people seeing it and beginning to panic. But I could feel Kelly's eyes boring into my head. She'd never seen me hold a gun before.

'You sure?' I was confident in my shooting ability when it came down to it but that didn't mean I wanted one on me at all times. It just increased the chance of injury.

'We're taking any extra help that we can get.' Aaron said and something about the gentle, slightly desperate look in his eyes made me reach out, grip my fingers around the trigger and tuck into my pocket.

'You're an honorary cop.' Kelly teased but her eyes were fixed on my pocket, as though she was staring through the material and could see what I was hiding. She knew I could shoot but I'd never had to show her before.

'Be careful - ' Aaron continued and I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off. 'I know you will be but no one really knows what's going to happen. And I'd tell you to get out of here if things start to happen, but I know that you'll want to stay.' He gave me a firm look.

The man really was learning. 'You know me well.' I shot back with a smile.

'I'll keep out of it, you don't need to worry.' Kelly said with a grin. 'I'd end up blowing my own head off with a gun. A water pistol on the other hand...'

I never got to find out what Kelly was like with a water pistol because at that moment there was a crackling of gunshots and everybody started screaming.

Aaron and Spencer were gone from my side in an instant, Kelly staying close next to me. I had no idea where the gunshots had come from and among the running crowds and screaming people, I couldn't make much out.

'You should go back to the car.' I said to Kelly as I gripped onto her arm, my eyes scanning for anything suspicious. She gave me a look. I knew she wasn't going to listen to me.

'I'll stay with Aimee and Joe, make sure they're okay. And you'd better be fucking careful - ' She said, running off after Aimee and Joe who were hiding behind some bushes and I felt a rush of gratitude. If they were all together, then they'd all be okay. Right?

I didn't have time to consider every eventuality. My heart was racing, my fingers clutched around the trigger of the gun. All around me were people running, people screaming, people crying.

And in the middle of it all, I knew Mike was clutching a gun alongside his comrades.

I focused on the trees bordering the edges of the park. They'd make excellent cover for someone trying to escape. I blinked several times; I could barely focus with the adrenaline thundering through my body.

I froze when I suddenly caught sight of a figure running through the trees, dressed in black and clutching something in his hand. A gun.

I didn't stop. I didn't think. I just ran after him.

FEATURED SONGS:  
Born This Way - Lady Gaga  
Santa Fe - Newsies


	33. Triginta Duo

\- It's a long one, folks! And there's some mention of sexual assault near the end so just be careful if that's something you don't want to read about...

Branches and leaves crackled under my feet as I ran, cursing the fact that I was doing it in heels. I'd come straight from work. And while I was used to basically living in them, I knew I'd be able to run so much faster if I was wearing a pair of boots, like the figure I was chasing was.

I'd left the main part of the park behind me and was now completely surrounded by trees. I could still hear the shouts and screams coming from behind me but I couldn't focus on that. One of the gunmen was around here somewhere. I just had to find him.

I moved forwards as quickly as I dared, removing the gun from my pocket as I did so and kept my eyes pinned on the scene in front of me.

I had no idea what the cops or the FBI were doing; no idea whether anybody had been hurt. I thought back to my time in the club, when I'd had an ear-piece and had constantly had a member of the team talking to me.

Now everything was silent. I couldn't communicate with them like that. I was going to have to think of an alternative method.

I heard the sharp crack of a branch up ahead and I instantly froze. I could hear the blood rushing in my ears, my breath quickening.

My eyes locked onto a figure up-ahead. Judging from his tall build, he was a young male which fit with everything the BAU had said. He was moving slowly through the trees, the gun clutched tightly in his hand.

At least if he was out here, then he wasn't killing anyone. Yet.

I crept up behind him as he moved into a clearing, the branches and leaves underfoot being replaced with patches of moss and rocks.

'Drop the gun.' I ordered firmly, forcing my voice not to shake as I raised the gun and aimed it at his back. 'And slowly turn around with your hands up - '

I had no idea how I was going to handle this or how I was going to get him out of here and into a police car. If everything went according to plan, I'd be able to simply lead him out with my gun pinned at his back and his hands on his head.

But if everything went sideways, then I was going to have to do something drastic. I was probably going to have to tackle him...

Surprisingly, the man began to slowly turn around and that's when I began to digest some of his characteristics that I hadn't picked up when I'd first seen him because I'd been too busy freaking out. The shade of his hair, the sharp slope of his nose, the glint in his eyes.

Shit.

There was no point trying to convince myself otherwise because every inch of my body knew the figure that was standing in front of me.

Mike.

Why did it have to be him?

'Nice to see you, Lizzy.' His words sounded sincere but the smirk on his face and the gun clutched in his hand firmly told me otherwise. I'd hoped I would never have to see him again but now that I was, in this situation, then everything felt ten times worse.

'Put the gun down.' I couldn't think of anything else to say and instead focused on the gun that was in my hands. Mike's smirk widened.

'Is that all I get? After - '

'Gun. Now.'

'You were in the alley, weren't you?' I didn't reply. I wasn't giving Mike anything. 'I thought I heard something.' He chuckled slightly. 'Of course it would be you.'

He smiled at my silence and looked almost complacent, despite there being a gun in front of him.

Prick.

'I'm not going to come quietly, if that's what you're hoping. And why are you the one with the gun anyway? You're not a cop, that's your mom.'

I hated how much he knew about how, how many areas of my life that I'd let him in on. But I couldn't do anything about it now.

'People aren't usually this chatty when they've got a gun pointed at them.' I said coolly, adjusting my arm slightly. Every second that Mike stalled was another second that I had to keep the gun pinned on his chest and my arms were beginning to ache slightly.

'I know you won't shoot.'

'Really?' I clicked the safety off. If Mike was surprised, he didn't react. 'This is how it's going to work. We're going to walk to the gates. You're going to come quietly or else I'm going to shoot you.'

Non-fatally, of course, so he could be punished for his crimes but he didn't need to know this.

'That's not going to happen, sweetheart - ' He said with a smirk, folding his arms across his black jacket and taking a step forward.

'Stay where you are - ' I commanded, tightening the grip on my gun and adjusting my stance slightly, Dad's words about how to hit the mark every time running through my head.

I knew that Mike was cocky and only cared about himself, in every sense. He was going to push me. But I couldn't let him win.

'And I think it is. You've killed people - '

'You don't have any proof of that.'

'I don't but the FBI do.'

'Good job you're not the FBI - ' With every second that passed, Mike seemed to edge a step closer to me, my threats about shooting him having absolutely no affect. And he was getting a little too close for my liking.

'I said don't move - ' I shouted, my arm shaking a little with the strain of holding the gun for so long. I knew Mike had the upper hand, stood barely two feet away from me. And he knew it too.

'How about no.' I could almost feel his breath on my face, the warmth leaching from his skin that made me want to run.

I had to keep both hands on the gun. But my stubbornness wasn't going to do anything when Mike struck out against me. He was bigger and stronger than me and didn't care about shooting people.

There were currently two guns in the mix and Mike was stood in front of me, his hands clenched, his mouth smirking, his eyes cold. I had to get one gun out of the equation before he moved, before he came after me. Otherwise, I would definitely be getting shot.

My plan was stupid and reckless and idiotic. It sounded like I had a death wish. But I didn't really have any other options right now.

I threw my gun with as much force as I could muster into the grass to my left, losing sight of it among the rocks and shrubbery.

I really was alone now. But I was also still alive.

That was before Mike lunged forwards, punched me and kicked my legs out from under me sending me tumbling into the moss and rocks. I tried to roll and absorb the impact but stumbled painfully to my feet instead.

Mike was smirking and cracked his knuckles as he glared down at me. His gun was back on his belt, reminding me of what I was up against here. I could handle him when he was being cocky and childish. It was when he turned possessive and violent my resolve began to chip away.

He shot forwards, his arms locking around my waist as I kicked out against his grip, my heels jabbing into his thighs.

I hated the feeling of his hands on my hips, his breath on my skin, his smug, strong voice in my ear telling me to give it up as I furiously fought to get away from him, to hurt him.

The ground was covered in long, gnarled tree roots; all I needed was to disrupt his balance or for him to lose his footing slightly and I'd have the advantage.

The grip around my waist tightened and a gulp of breath was pushed from my lungs. Every second he was close to me was another second that I wanted to be sick. I couldn't do this for much longer.

Mike suddenly tripped slightly over a tree root, his grip loosening for a split second. I pushed forwards, throwing away his arms and turned to face him before punching him in the nose.

This seemed to be my standard, go-to target to aim for and as Mike staggered back slightly, clutching his nose and glaring at me, it was clear why. It shocked them without hurting me too badly and while my fist was stinging, it was worth it for the slow trickle of blood that was oozing down Mike's face.

I lunged forwards, aiming a kick to Mike's stomach which he deftly avoided, swinging a punch towards me that I had to jump back to avoid. My heart was racing and my lungs were vying for air as the adrenaline, fear and panic were sapping the energy from my body.

'Fuck Lizzy, what's got into you?' Mike panted, wiping his nose on the back of his hand and having the look of a deranged vampire.

'Shut up - ' I had no idea whether any of the BAU team were in my immediate vicinity, nor if any cops were. I didn't have the time to waste to check. Mike wasn't going to stop coming at me until one of us was down on the ground.

And I was going to have to do everything to make sure that that wasn't me.

Mike shot forwards again with a power that I didn't anticipate, his smug smile replaced with a look of pure fury. I guess he didn't like being punched in the face.

He grabbed my hair, forcing my head upwards at the same time as he knocked my legs from under me, sending my head and body slamming into the ground. Pain ricocheted through me as I rolled onto my back, my hair lying limp on my shoulders from where Mike had wrenched it from my bun.

I looked up at him, my vision blurred and head spinning and wished. I couldn't make out of his facial expression and tried to move as I felt him kneel over me but every time I shifted, pain shot through my body and left me wincing.

I didn't want Mike this close to me. I didn't want him leaning over me, his breath hot on my face.

I couldn't move. I couldn't overpower him. Stop. I wanted it to stop.

He was smirking, cracking his knuckles in the obnoxious way he always did and reminding me of the countless times I'd told him he'd develop arthritis. But he wasn't focusing on my blurry eyes that were scanning his figure, latching his gun.

I locked my fingers around the barrel and wrenched it from his belt, forcing my body around and shot three times up into the sky.

Mike's hand was instantly in mine, pulling it from my grip and tossing it into the bushes, his other hand gripping onto my chin.

Someone would have heard that, whether FBI agent, cop or civilian.

At least, I hoped so.

Mike's hands clasped around my throat and I gasped for breath. His face was looming over me, his face slowly coming into focus and the pressure on my throat began to increase. I kicked out, my arms flailing but my body was trapped between his thighs.

No. This wasn't happening.

Fuck.

I gripped onto his wrists that were clenched around my throat, digging my nails into his skin and frantically trying to push him off.

'It was so nice to see you again, Lizzy.' Mike said casually, as though he was enjoying a movie and wasn't slowly squeezing the life out of me. I dug my fingers into the bone of his wrist, loosening his grip for a second so I could gasp for breath before his grip tightened again.

He was doing this slowly, slowly enough that I was able to feel it, feel the warmth from his hands and the tightness in my throat and my chest as I gasped for another breath.

'It's a shame it had to go like this, though - '

I wanted to claw my fingers into his eyes and wipe the smug, arrogant smile from his face but my arms were locked to my sides. Frustrated tears were trickling down my face as I stared into Mike's eyes. If he was going to kill me, he was going to have to look at me while he did.

A series of bullets suddenly lodged themselves in the tree next to us and Mike's eyes shot up into the clearing behind me, clearly evaluating his priorities. Someone was closing in on him. And he could either continue squeezing the life out of me to prove a point and probably got arrested or run now and stand a chance of escaping.

Sadly, Mike had always been smarter than I gave him credit for.

He jumped to his feet and bolted out of the clearing, Derek storming after him. I pushed myself onto my knees, coughing and retching as I forced air into my lungs and dug my hands into the earth to have something to ground myself. I felt lightheaded and my vision was blurry. If I moved too quickly I was probably going to pass out.

 I slowly raised my head at the sound of leaves crunching, my mouth hanging open to collect as I gasped for air. Aaron was clipping his gun back onto his belt, his eyes wide with panic.

'Are you okay?' He knelt down beside me, his hands gently moving the hair from my face. I nodded, wincing slightly as he wrapped an arm around me. He spotted it immediately and narrowed his eyes. 'Honestly?'

I gulped at the fear in Aaron's eyes as I tried to regulate my breathing, locking my arms around his neck and resting my head on his shoulder. I didn't think I'd ever been so happy to see someone. 'I am now.'  
***  
After a couple of minutes, I was able to stand up without feeling as though I was going to pass out and Aaron began to lead me out of the clearing, his arm secure around my waist.

Up ahead, on the path that ran through the center of the park was a handful of police officers, the rest of the BAU team and fighting to escape from Derek and David's grip was Mike. Aaron tried to steer me away from them and towards a squad of ambulances that I could see arriving but I dug my heels into the ground and gave him a firm look.

David was in the process of arresting Mike, listing off his crimes which ranged from petty theft to murder and attempted murder. Then he paused for a breath, shooting Aaron the smallest of glances. I narrowed my eyebrows.

And then I felt like the air had been knocked out of me all over again. I couldn't believe the words that had just left David's lips. Or, I could, because I had weeks of panic attacks and feelings of isolation and shame to show for it.  
I just couldn't believe everyone else knew. That Aaron knew.

I felt my face flush with shame as I kept my eyes trained on the floor. I could hear Mike raging on about something and knew that Aaron was probably looking at me but I couldn't meet his gaze.

'Lizzy blabbed did she?' Mike rolled his eyes. I wanted to be sick. 'Great. And how is it assault exactly? We were dating and we were drunk - '

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I wasn't going to cry in front of Mike.

'When she says stop and you ignore her.' Aaron spat, so viciously I thought he was going to take a swing at Mike. And, judging from the burning anger in the team's eyes then he wouldn't be the only one.

I still couldn't digest what was happening.

'You weren't both drunk.' JJ said firmly, her eyes shooting me a warm look. I could have cried at that alone. 'One glass of alcohol does not appease your actions - '

'You've no proof for any of that!' Mike continued, wrestling in David and Derek's grip. 'It was months ago and all you've got is one statement.' Mike looked towards me, his piercing eyes hollowing into my skull. My one statement.

I could do something. I could make sure that he went away for good. I didn't really know if they could prove he'd killed anyone. But I could prove he'd done...this. As long as I got my act together and stopped like acting like the victim.

'Lift up your shirt.' I said, staring Mike straight in the eye. 

'What?' He breathed and I didn't allow myself to blink, even if he looked like a snake ready to strike. I wasn't going to let myself be scared.

'You heard her.' Aaron said sternly, his eyes fixed on me. Even when he didn't know what I was doing, he trusted me.

I didn't know how they'd found out but Penelope did have the most advanced computer system on the planet, pretty much. And there was nothing she couldn't find out.

I took a step forwards, crossing my arms in front of me for some extra stability. Mike knew he had no option here. But he was going to make me regret every single second of it.

Slowly, he unzipped his jacket. He was doing it slowly on purpose. He met my gaze as he raised the hem of his t-shirt over his navel, revealing the scattering of scars that crisscrossed along his abdomen.

They weren't as red as the last time I'd seen them but then it had been six months. Since I'd inflicted them. Since we'd been alone, together, and he'd forced...

I cautiously pressed my fingers along his stomach, the warmth of his skin almost burning my fingers as each one of my fingers lining up perfectly with a scar.

I met Mike's gaze. If David and Derek hadn't been holding onto him, I knew I'd be dead. Mike would have squeezed the life out of me without even batting an eyelid.

'I'd say that's probable cause.' David said grimly as I pushed down onto the scars a little before pushing my hands into my pockets. The team were talking about something but I wasn't listening - there was nothing outside this moment other than Mike and myself.

His lips were meters from my face. He murmured something to me, something that made me regret even more the information I'd told him about my past. And then he whispered something else, the smug smile on his face. 'All you need to do now is get on your knees.'

Aaron moved before I could take in his words, moving into David's position and wrenching Mike's arms behind him and snarling some words into his ear, something about him regretting ever being born.

Now the team knew that I'd filed a sexual assault claim against Mike that had been thrown out of court because we'd had alcohol in our systems. And so did Penelope, who I'd never told. And Kelly would soon, if she didn't already.

But Mike was being dragged off to prison by Derek and Aaron, screaming empty threats about what he was going to do to me and the police and the FBI.

I let myself smirk for a moment. Mike couldn't reach anybody any more.

***  
I winced slightly as the medic rested her hands gently on my collar bone, trying to feel if there was any internal damage. I was still struggling to come to terms with everything that had happened mere minutes ago.

The FBI and police had managed to round up five other men who'd been sneaking around the park with guns, who'd they'd since arrested. No one had been killed and those who'd been injured were receiving treatment. Kelly, Aimee and Joe were fine.

Everything was fine.

Aaron hadn't left my side since he'd thrown Mike into a police car and I'd sat down in the back of one of the ambulances. We hadn't talked about it but I knew that the second everything at the park was back to normal, I'd have to start talking.

Or rather, I wouldn't have to because Aaron never forced me into anything which was the biggest difference between him and Mike. But I wanted to talk about it. It had been six long months of silence.

'I don't know if letting a member of the public rant at an arrested criminal is allowed or not,' Aaron said, shrugging lightly as the medic passed me an ice-pack. 'But it seemed to make Kelly pretty happy.'

I'd been reliably informed Kelly had started ranting at Mike with all sorts of colorful language. I also learned Penelope had texted her the second she'd found out about the thing with Mike. She'd been pretending for days that everything was the same.

'I'd do it if I was up to shouting.' I joked, swallowing several times. I'd been told to rest my voice for a few days; how I was supposed to rest my voice being a mom was something I hadn't wasted the energy trying to explain.

'Lizzy?' I looked up and Kelly was leaning against the door, her eyes wide I could see the questions that she wasted to ask dripping from her tongue but wouldn't ask any until she thought I was ready. 'You okay?'

'I'll live.' Aaron's hand rested in my own and I lightly leaned my head against his shoulder. He really was incredibly warm.

'Good, because I've got some news.' What? What had happened now? 'One of the gang-members hotwired a car and tried to make a run for it. But he ended up crashing the car into another car.'

'And?'

'The car he hotwired was a red sudan.' Kelly said slowly, biting her lip. 'But the car he crashed into was...yours.'

For fuck's sake.

If coming face to face with the man who'd assaulted me, nearly been strangled and had to come to terms with a trauma I still wasn't over wasn't enough wasn't enough, I now had no car.

Aaron ran a comforting hand through my hair as I met Kelly's gaze as she shot me an excited smile. 'Now you can get a fab new one! With orange flames on the side and a mini-bar and  - '

'I'm not getting a car with flames on.' I deadpanned, feeling Aaron smirk next to me.

'Why not? They're cool - ' Kelly insisted and I rolled my eyes.

'I think it would suit you.' Aaron said with a grin that didn't quite meet his eyes. I could feel the tension in his body as I sat next to him. Something had shifted slightly in our relationship. And the cause was, well, the cause was me.

And that hurt slightly.

'No.' I said firmly, shooting Kelly a look. 'There's going to be no flaming car.'

\- What else did Mike say to her? How much do you hate Mike now? It's another long chapter next!


	34. Triginta Tres

I knew the fact that most of the staff had bunked off work for the afternoon would not go un-noticed by senior management. In fact, they more than noticed it. They said everyone who had bunked off had to work this afternoon, seeing as they'd had to turn away a lot of patients on Friday who they couldn't possibly fit in.

Great.

But it also happened that this evening was David's official BAU Christmas party which I'd been invited to and which had started ten minutes ago. Trying to see as many patients as possible as well as dishing out presents, cards and goodbyes to all my colleagues was taking up much more time then I was anticipating.

Even though, technically, Tuesday was the last working day before Christmas, I'd decided to take Monday and Tuesday off work to spend some more time with the girls and to process everything that had happened over the last few weeks. I felt like I'd barely seen them.

I'd dished out my presents for Becky, Sylvie and the rest of the department and Kelly, who was currently waiting for me in the parking lot, seeing as my car was now a wreck, and she'd offered to give me a ride.

The only department member I'd yet to see was Evan.

I rapped my knuckles on the door, the present bag which contained a bottle of his favourite whiskey swinging by my side. I heard a muffled 'come in,' and pushed the door open into his office.

Evan was busily typing something when I entered so didn't meet my eyes until I was standing in front of his mahogany desk. His glasses were pushed up on top of his head, caught in the tufts of his hair.

'Hey. Are you okay?' Evan's eyes shot up from his computer screen and landed on my face. He blinked several times, positioning his glasses back over his eyes.

I didn't know how the investigation into Hartner was going to go. But I was now firmly in the camp that Gonzalez just needed to pick better friends, rather than hating him as I first had.

'Yeah, I'm fine.' He coughed to clear his throat and re-adjusted his glasses.

'You sure?'

'Positive. I'm just tired. You look nice.'

'Thanks,' I said smiling, looking down at my floral midi-dress and black heels. I'd transported my outfit with me in a separate bag and had been very surprised and extremely glad to see that the dress wasn't too creased. I'd quickly brushed my hair and applied some red lipstick, hoping that my appearance didn't show how disheveled I actually felt. 'I'm off to a Christmas party.'

'It was ours the other day,' Evan said calmly, fidgeting slightly in his chair and I could see how the memory of the party made him want to recoil.

'It's for the BAU. I was invited personally so I feel very honored.' I said, trying to lighten the mood. Evan smirked.

'You'll be surrounded by foreign diplomats and oil barons second wives and caviar and lots and lots of champagne.' Evan said with a roll of his eyes and I smirked.

'I don't think it's quite at that level, but it's at Agent Rossi's house - '

'You mean his mansion,' Evan interrupted, grinning and I shot him a glare.

'His house so I'm not quite sure what to expect.'

'How are you getting there?' Evan asked and for a moment I was surprised that he'd even heard I was without a car but then he probably heard Kelly mention it. It had been quite a dramatic tale, apparently.

'Kelly's giving me a lift.' Evan nodded, typing out another word to fill the silence that now rested between us. 'So this is my goodbye. And this is for you.' I passed him the bag, noticing the look of surprise on his face and the slight blush on his face.

'Wow. Thanks.' He fumbled for a moment, not quite sure what to do before tucking the bag under his desk.

'Well, you are kind of my boss so take this as a bribe for a pay rise.' I said jokingly and Evan rolled his eyes.

'Oh, okay. Well, I'll consider it, Dr. Harmon.' He said in a jovial tone, reaching for something under his desk. 'And take this as my bribe to keep working here.' He passed me a bottle of Prosecco and I let the cold sink into my skin.

'Thank you. Thank you so much.' I said with a smile, my eyes drifting to the clock on the wall. Yep, I was well over half an hour late now.

'You should probably be getting going, shouldn't you?' Evan said, following my gaze.

'Yeah, Kelly will be going out of her mind. Are you staying?'

'Just for a bit longer. I've got some e-mails that need answering. But then I'll be off.'

'Don't stay too long.' I chided, with a smile on my face. 'It's Christmas. And the weekend. You need to have a break too.'

'I know. Merry Christmas Lizzy.'

'Merry Christmas, Evan.' I turned to leave, pulling my phone out of my bag to see if I had any messages asking where I was and as I predicted, I had three messages and one missed call.

'Oh, and Lizzy?'

'Yeah?' I turned back, seeing Evan run a hand through his hair and a small smile appear upon his tired face.

'Thanks for everything.' He didn't need to specify anything further. I knew what he meant.

'No problem.' I said, with a smile. 'It was nothing. And I hope your sister likes the flowers.' With a nod, Evan fixed his attentions back on his computer screen and continue typing whatever important e-mails had to be communicated over the festive period.

I, on the other hand, had a party to get to.  
***  
'Thanks for the lift, Kel.' I precariously balanced my collection of gift bags on the roof of Kelly's car as I reached inside for my handbag, the icy wind biting at my skin despite the coat tightly tied around me. 'I did not want to get the bus with all this stuff.'

'I couldn't exactly leave you stranded.' Kelly said with a roll of her eyes. 'That's not in the 'spirit of Christmas'.'  
I gathered all of my bags and testing the weight. I'd just have to be careful not to walk into anyone. I did not want to spill all of my presents on the floor.

'Well, give me a call if you need a lift home. Or will Mr. FBI be driving you?'

'I mean, probably - ' I said with a shrug, ignoring Kelly's knowing look and the blush on my cheeks. 'He's the only one out of the pair of us who currently owns a car that is drivable.'

'Get to it then - ' Kelly said, gesturing to the bubble of raucous chatter that was emerging from the windows of David's rather large and impressive home. I could get why people now called it a mansion. 'You're already late. People will think I've kidnapped you or something.'

'Because you look so suspicious all of the time.' I mumbled, lightly kicking the door closed with my foot. 'See you - '

'Bye, Lizzles - ' Kelly called out the window before driving away. Lizzles was her new nickname for me. I can't say I adored it.

David's house was completely bedecked with Christmas decorations and the effect was almost blinding. Flashing golden lights were strung across every roof top, bathing the whole garden in a warm glow. Several light up reindeer were positioned across the lawn, grazing in the frost covered grass. One reindeer even had a flashing red nose.

Well, it was Christmas. It was either go big or go home, wasn't it?

I weaved my through the reindeer and to the front door, which was decorated with an enormous fir wreath. From inside, I could hear Christmas music being blasted mixed with the incessant chatter of voices. Swapping all of my bags to my left hand, I loudly knocked on the door hoping someone would hear me through the echoing voice of WHAM!

The door was suddenly yanked open to reveal Penelope, dressed in a vibrant pink dress and matching pink Santa hat. From her ears dangled flashing Christmas trees and her nails were painted in alternating red and white shades like a candy cane.

'Lizzy!' Penelope's arms flew around me and I breathed in her warm scent of apple, mentally cringing at her strong grip and praying that my bags weren't too crushed. 'I'm so glad that you came!'

'Did you really think I'd miss all this?' I said incredulously, gesturing to the scene around me. Behind Penelope, I could see even more flashing lights, mountains of tinsel and glittering snowflakes hanging from practically ever surface.

'No...Well, I hoped that you wouldn't but you weren't here and then - '

'I know, I'm so sorry. I had to say bye to everyone and - '

'Oh, it doesn't matter now!' Penelope grinned, ushering me aside. As soon as I stepped inside, I was engulfed by the scent of warm caramel and cinnamon and sugar cookies and the fresh scent of pine. Even the air felt warm with the scent of Christmas. 'You're here and that's all that matters. You look lovely, you know. Hotch won't know what hit him.' I gave her a look and she giggled, as she threw my coat into a small closet that was already filled with a mountain of other coats.

'It's a nice touch,' I said, gesturing to the pink hat that sat perched on top of her blonde curls and she grinned.

'I brought one for the whole team but only JJ and Emily are wearing theirs. You'll wear one, won't you?'

Penelope brought me into a large room that was crammed with people all dressed in smart clothes and had a long table laden with every variety of Christmas food on the far side of the room. The walls were lined with tinsel and glittering stars and in the corner of the room was the biggest Christmas tree I'd ever seen, extravagantly decorated with glimmering silver and gold decorations.

'Course,' I gaped, looking around the room wide-eyed. 'Wow, this is insane.'

Penelope chuckled and started to lead me towards where JJ was animatedly talking to a man I'd never seen before. 'I may have had some input in the decorations.'

'Of course. No one else could do something like this.' I said smiling, trying to keep my bags as close to my body as possible so not to get them completely crushed.

'Hey Lizzy!' I grinned, wrapping JJ up in a hug. She was dressed in a simple black dress decorated with silver sequins with her hair delicately curled and diamonds twinkling in her ears.

'Hey, you look amazing!' I gushed and JJ blushed slightly.

'Thanks. Your dress is gorgeous.' JJ replied, as Penelope suddenly plonked a pink Santa hat onto my head. 'How's the bruising?' I'd spent longer grappling with some foundation trying to cover up the bruises that littered my collar bone and neck than I had with a single patient.

'It's not great. And I'm not allowed to raise my voice so tonight should be fun - ' I said with a shrug, the memory of yesterday weighing down on the conversation. I pushed it away with a smile.

'Have you seen anyone else yet?' JJ asked.

'No, I've just got here. Work was a bit hectic.' I said, gesturing to the bags I was carrying that had been given to me by my colleagues.

'I think I saw Spencer and Morgan over there.' JJ said, gesturing over to the corner of the room near the Christmas tree. 'And Emily went off to look for some more pretzels.'

'I'll keep an eye out then.' I said with a chuckle. 'I'll talk to you later, yeah?' JJ nodded, giving my shoulder a squeeze before she was engrossed in conversation with Penelope.

I clumsily weaved my way through the streams of people. I seemed like every FBI agent in Virginia was here - with the exception of my dad - and my eyes were scanning the crowds for anyone that I remotely recognized.

Suddenly, my eyes latched onto a pair who were chatting in front of the tree. Derek was dressed all in black, with a grey trilby on his head, clutching a large glass of wine. Spencer was dressed in a black suit with a black bow-tie but I did notice that a pair of black Chuck Taylor's donned his feet. I never had taken him for the formal type.

'Hey guys!' I exclaimed, and they both looked over at me with smiles on their faces.

'Hey Lizzy!' Derek smiled, giving me a hug and kissing me on the cheek. 'We didn't know if you'd ever show up.' I rolled my eyes. Did everyone know about my busy work life?

'I know. I didn't either. But I'm glad I did.'

'Have you tried any of the food?' Spencer asked and I shook my head, noting the slight emptiness in my stomach. 'It's amazing.'

'Well, I wouldn't expect anything less from David.' I said with a smile and Derek grinned, taking a sip of his drink.

'You doin' okay?' I stepped closer to Derek to allow someone to pass behind me and I noticed the look of concern that was on both his and Spencer's face. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded.

'Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just looking for Aaron.' Derek smirked and nudged Spencer in the ribs with his elbow, raising his eyebrow. 'Oh, shut up - ' I said, glaring at him and folding my arms.

'What?'

'I'm told you two won't wear your Christmas hats,' I said in mock anger, gesturing to the hat that was on my head.

'I'm already wearing headgear, sweetheart.' Derek said with a smile. 'And it doesn't go with my outfit.'

'I don't care.' I said stubbornly. 'I want you wearing them.'

'Or what?' Spencer asked, shooting Derek an almost nervous glance which he returned.

'I'll - I'll - ' I stuttered, trying to think of a suitable threat. 'I'll suck up to my boyfriend and get you guys doing all the paperwork for the next five months.'

'You can't do that,' Derek said confidently, with a roll of his eyes.

'Really? You sure about that? I can be very persuasive.' I struck my most confident pose and stared Derek straight in the eyes. Penelope wanted the team to wear neon pink Santa hats and I was going to make that happen.

'Oh look, is that Hotch?' Derek said suddenly, pointing to someone behind me.

'Where?' I spun around on my heels, searching the crowd for the tall figure dressed in a fitted suit that made my heart soar. But, as I scanned the crowds, I couldn't see any sign of anyone who looked even remotely like Aaron. My heart dropped slightly.

'No, I don't think that's - ' As I spun back around, my words died in my throat. Derek and Spencer had vanished. Sighing, I searched the crowd again for Aaron, flexing my fingers. Whatever Sylvie had got me as a present was certainly not light.

I slowly weaved my way through the crowds, keeping my bags close to me and scanning every face for one that I recognized. Where was Aaron? He wasn't exactly hard to miss, being over 6 foot tall.

A movement in the crowd caught my eye. A hand waving over the sea of people. I shuffled a bit to the left. It was David, sporting a patterned sweater and waving manically at me with a wide smile on his face. And behind him, staring me straight in the eye with a slightly awed expression on his face, was Aaron who was dressed in a dark blue shirt and black trousers.

I pushed my way through the crowds, murmuring my apologies to the partygoers around me as I approached them. David embraced me in his arms, kissing me on both cheeks as I breathed in his aftershave.

'I'm so glad you could make it,' He said, patting me on the shoulder and I smiled. His eyes fell to the bags I was carried and instantly started to pry them from my hands. 'Let me take those from you, I'll put them in the back where they won't get damaged. I feel like an awful host now - ' He rambled, his brows furrowing.

'How could you be an awful host? This party's incredible!' I praised, gesturing to the room around me that was literally overflowing with festive cheer. 'I'm sorry I'm late, I got caught up at work.'

'Don't worry about it,' David insisted with a wave of his hand. 'I'm just glad you're here. He might stop moping around now,' he nudged me gently as gestured to Aaron who was watching our exchange, the awed expression still on his face. 'You look enchanting. And I don't think I'm the only one who's noticed.' I blushed slightly at his words, seeing Aaron suddenly start and David disappear off through the crowds of people with my bags.

'Hey,' I said with a smile, glad that the weight of my bags had been lifted from my hands. I slipped mine into Aaron's, relishing the warmth that passed through them.

'Hey,' He replied, his deep eyes glittering under the lights. 'You look amazing.' I felt a blush immediately rise to my face and felt electricity bubble under my skin as he traced his thumbs across the backs of my hands.

'You look pretty good yourself.' I said, watching him smirk and his eyes jump down from my face to our hands. 'But I think you're missing a pink Santa hat.'  Aaron rolled his eyes as I gave him a stern look and raised an eyebrow. 'Don't make me force you.'

'I'm not wearing it.' He protested, pulling me closer. I didn't blink but continued to stare at him. This was my Mom face; the face I wore when I needed to put my foot down. 'I'm not!'

'Why not?'

'Because I am the boss of a lot of people in this room,' He said and I rolled my eyes. 'Because I have a reputation to uphold and I need to look professional.'

'That is not a good enough excuse. That is rubbish. I want you wearing one.'

'Lizzy - '

'Fine, don't wear one!' I threw my hands up in surrender and turned away from him, taking a few steps forward. 'I guess I'll go and find Emily and those pretzels. Or I can go and dance with JJ and Penelope. Or maybe there's some mistletoe around Derek - '

I started to walk away before two arms wrapped themselves around my waist and held me still. I chuckled to myself and peered behind me to see Aaron resting his chin on my shoulder.

'Fine. You win.' He said grudgingly and I smiled, kissing him on the cheek just as David re-appeared.

'That sounds about right.'

'Right then. Let's get you a drink, shall we?'  
   
***

The rest of the night passed by in a blur. By the end of it, I'd been introduced to several FBI agents by Aaron and David as Dr. Harmon, drunk my fair share of expensive Champagne and even been dragged onto the dancefloor.

I would have thought that Aaron would have been reluctant but apparently, after he'd had a few beers, he'd do pretty much anything. He'd been remarkably light on his feet and could definitely pull some moves. We'd even slow-danced to a couple of  songs where he'd twirled me under his arm and then dipped me.

No one had felt as surprised as I had. And it may have turned me on ever so slightly...

As I had predicted, the food was incredible so I was completely stuffed by the time the first few agents started leaving. I'd been chatting to Penelope, JJ and Emily for the majority of the night.

By the time the clock was nearing midnight, the room had began to clear significantly. I could now pick out each individual face rather than a hulking mass of bodies. And when Penelope suddenly brought out a camera, I felt Aaron roll his eyes.

'Come on, I want a picture of the whole team!' She giggled, ushering Spencer and JJ away from the buffet and Emily and Derek away from the bar. 'Come on boss, it's Christmas!'

'Come on, Aaron. You can't get out of this one.' David called, emerging with another bottle of Champagne. I felt like my body's water content had been replaced with the liquid.

'What's wrong?' I asked, as Penelope began directing people into their places and explained why JJ and Emily couldn't stand next to each other as their outfits clashed.

'I'm not really a fan of having my picture taken.' He explained, drawing his eyes away from his team to meet mine.

'But it's Christmas!' I said in a sing-song voice, causing him to smile for a second before it quickly disappeared at Penelope's voice - Spencer was too tall to fit in the frame. 'I'll be in it too.' I said gently. 'Then we can look like fools together.' Aaron sighed.

'Okay.'

'Good boy.' I smiled watching Aaron roll his eyes as I led him towards the center of the room.

'And you never look like a fool.' He murmured into my ear and I smiled, my heart fluttering a little.

'I'm gatecrashing your picture.' I explained to Penelope.

'Can you take one of us all first?' She begged, her eyes pleading.

'Sure.' I quickly kissed Aaron on the cheek before taking the camera from Penelope. Spencer and Aaron had to bend their knees a little to fit in the frame and Aaron didn't look particularly cheery but soon I was back beside him and Penelope was aiming the camera at us.

'I want one of just you two.' She said, fixing her Santa hat which had begun to slide off her head. 'You look really cute.' Aaron sighed heavily beside me and I nudged him with my elbow.

'Come on, it's just one more. Then we can go back to the buffet.' I said with a gentle smile. In honesty, I wanted this picture of myself and Aaron because I didn't actually have one of us together. And I always got particularly sentimental around Christmas.

David took the camera from Penelope and I smiled but David paused a moment. 'Aaron, you like you're going to your own funeral. Can you look a bit more alive?'

'That's harsh,' I murmured, looking up at Aaron. 'Here.' I positioned his left arm around my waist and passed him my Champagne glass. 'If you hold something, then you might look less...awkward.' Aaron gave me a grateful if slightly strained smile and David re-angled the camera as I positioned my left hand on my hip.

'Beautiful.' David exclaimed, winking at me. 'Now, where's Reid and Morgan disappeared to?'  
   
***  
   
After another hour, we'd all decided to call it a night. I'd offered to help clean up but David had assured me that he was more than capable of tackling a few empty bottles of Champagne and some distressed tinsel. Aaron had offered to give me a drive home so after I'd said my goodbyes to everyone, wished everyone a merry Christmas and reminded everyone that I was holding a small Boxing day party, I was on my way home with my bundle of bags sat at my feet and Aaron's free hand resting in mine.

The sky was absolutely pitch black with a strong chill in the air as Aaron pulled up in front of my house. I hadn't even needed to give him any instructions.

'Where are the girls tonight?' Aaron asked as he opened the car door for me and helped me out.

'In bed, I hope.' I explained, as I collected all of my present bags. 'Aimee's on baby sitting duty.'

I tried the door handle and, after finding it to be unlocked, I pushed it open. Aimee was nowhere to be seen and the only sign that she was here was the empty pizza box on the coffee table and the re-run of Gilmore Girls that was playing on the screen.

'I presume she's taking advantage of my bath.' I said with a sigh, draping my coat over the back of a chair and laying my presents across the dining table. 'It's all a bit chaotic at home apparently. Or at least more chaotic than usual.'

'Why? What's happening?' Aaron asked, carefully closing the door so as not to make a noise. I shrugged, kicking off the heels that were beginning to pinch my feet and beginning to arrange the presents around the foot off the Christmas tree.

'They have to somehow fit the band around their jobs and buying presents and wrapping presents and eating and sleeping and it turns out that my Aunt Linda's coming over and - ' I was cut off by a pair of hands on my waist and I smiled as I nestled Kelly's present among the other glimmering bags.

'Look what I found - ' Aaron said in a teasing voice and I turned around to see his eyes focused on something hanging above our heads. It was a sprig of mistletoe, green and fresh. My brows furrowed instantly. 'What is it?'

'I have absolutely no idea where that came from.' I admitted, a smile creeping onto my face. I never hung mistletoe up. That wasn't a part of my many traditions.

'So you didn't go around hanging it up just so you'd have a chance to kiss me?' Aaron joked, putting on a disappointed voice and I smirked at him, stepping closer so that his breath was warm on my face.

'No. Although I like the idea.' I teased, smiling as his lips met my own in a warm embrace.

I circled my arms around his neck to pull him closer as one of his hands rested on my hip and the other gently cupped my face. Maybe I was slightly tipsier than I first thought but as we broke apart for a second before his lips met mine again I felt as though I was drowning in the intoxicating scent of his cologne and the warmth of his hands that burned my skin as they roamed across my back.

'Well, well, well. Mommy and Daddy are having a moment, are they?' I jumped away from Aaron at the sound of the smug voice, my heart pounding and my lungs struggling for breath as my eyes shot towards the doorway. Aimee was dragging a brush through her damp hair, dressed in a pair of loose trousers and faded hoodie, with a self-satisfied smile on her face.

Oh, why did she have to look so smug?

'How did the mistletoe get there?' I panted, running a hand through my rumpled hair and shooting a look at Aaron, who was similarly panting and trying to regain his composure but the furious blush on his face busted his cover.

'I hung it up.' Aimee explained nonchalantly. 'They were throwing a ton out at the florists, so Mom basically bought the whole lot. I thought this room could do with some sprucing up.'

'Right. Did you now,' I sighed, a lazy smile forming on my face as she shot me a wink and straightened up.

'I dare say I should be heading home.' Aaron coughed awkwardly, his eyes shooting between me and Aimee.

'There's supposed to be ice forming on the roads overnight. We might even get some more snow.' Aimee said, slumping down on the sofa.

'There you go, get gone.' I said to Aaron, who narrowed his eyes. 'I don't want you driving if there's ice on the roads.' I glared at him for a moment, my eyes glazing over his ruffled hair and general disheveled appearance, before he caved.

'Alright, I'll go. I'll see you on Wednesday then?' He pressed a kiss to my forehead, eying Aimee who was slurping at what looked like milkshake. 'Or I might see you tomorrow if I'm organized.' He said with a smirk.

'Yep. Get ready for the madhouse.' I teased, the thought of Christmas day and the madness that is was going to fill my house bring a smile to my face.

'I look forward to it.' He said before kissing me again on the cheek, saying his goodbyes to Aimee, and then disappearing out of the door.

FEATURED SONGS:  
WHAM! - Last Christmas


	35. Triginta Quattour

Only one day before Christmas, it was as though a switch had finally been flipped in my brain and I was now actually feeling excited about the big day. I hadn't been able to think straight with everything that had been going on but I was finally feeling Christmassy. And now I couldn't wait for tomorrow.

I had taken the week off, mostly to spend some time with the girls who it felt like I'd hardly seen recently but also because I knew there was no way I was going to want to go into work on Friday after two solid days of drinking and festivities.

There was even more good news in the form of Peter, who'd been true to his word and hadn't left the office until June Cabot had agreed to have another test. The results were due any day now, hopefully today or I doubted whether I'd get them before New Year.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt this nervous. It had probably been back in Med school. But if the test came back negative, as I felt certain it had to, then her entire case would fall apart and my license and my bank account would be in the clear.

All morning I'd been trying to distract myself from checking my cell every five seconds by cleaning the house from top to bottom, generally mooching around and having a spontaneous pillow fight with Lexi.

I thought I'd won but she didn't agree.

I'd found myself constantly checking her and her behavior and had stopped denying it to myself. Everyone in my close circle now knew what was going on, even Becky and Sylvie. And while I had no idea what I was doing, I felt better knowing I wasn't keeping this big secret anymore.

That had also meant explaining it to Lola and Lexi. Lola hadn't worried me and she'd taken it fine. But I'd had to build up to telling Lexi and had second-guessed every word that had left my mouth. I'd explained how there was nothing wrong with her and how her brain was just a little different to other people's and it was nothing to do with what she'd done but how she'd grown in my tummy.

I'd practically been sweating. But she seemed to have taken it okay.

She knew that someone was coming round after Christmas to check up on her and that she might have to start taking some medicine, depending on what the lady thought. I was sure that it hadn't fully sunk in yet and there might be a point where she suddenly got upset about it all. But I'd just have to cope with that.

I was also coping with the fact that it didn't make me a failure. That, like Lexi, it was nothing I had done. It was just

 

something I'd have to deal with.  
The girls had been crazily excited all day and I had absolutely no idea how I was going to get them to sleep tonight. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to sleep tonight because of how excited I was and that really showed just how much of a kid I was.

But Christmas really was my favorite time of year. I loved the atmosphere and the whole message of spending time with your family. It wasn't like I didn't see them anyway but it felt different at Christmas.

What's more, this year we had the addition of Jack and Aaron. They were spending today with Sean after spending the last couple of days with Jessica and her family.

I was in the process of unloading the dishwasher and would have completed it a lot sooner if my cell didn't keep vibrating every five seconds. Kelly was asking me about what kind of food she should buy for tomorrow and what was easy to cook. While Kelly had abundances of enthusiasm, not everything went to plan in the cooking department.

She was spending the day with her grandparents, like she did every year because both of her parents lived abroad and, after they'd divorced, had began to forget they actually had a daughter and had paid more attention to the holidays they went on.

And while her grandparents insisted on making Christmas dinner, they were both in their seventies so it always turned into a three-sided thing and Kelly always asked me what would be the easiest to make in their small kitchen that would still taste good.

I wiped the final plate of excess water and stacked it back into the cupboard. It was late afternoon and I was quickly running out of tasks to distract me from everything that was too exciting or too nerve-racking for me to think about. I knew that I should probably relax on the sofa and watch some of the cop shows I was obsessed with but I couldn't let myself relax.

After everything that had been going on for the last month, I knew that I deserved a hour to myself to lie down and get absorbed in an intriguing mystery. But something was stopping me; something was telling me that I wasn't worthy of the time to myself. And maybe it was Mike still screwing with my head or I was just overworked and overtired, but I was beginning to listen to that voice.

More than I cared to admit...

'Mom!' Lola hurried into the kitchen, Lexi trailing behind her. They hadn't stopped playing since the moment they'd woken up and it made me so happy that even with all the horrible things that had been going, they hadn't let that get to them. 'Can we make some cookies?'

'Now?'

'Cookies!' Lexi begged, her face flushed and bright and I sighed. I felt like I'd hardly seen them over the last few weeks and if the last month had taught me anything, it was that I needed to value my family and not take them for granted.

'Fine.' I said with a grin, turning to grab the bowl that I'd just wiped clean and put back in the cupboard. 'Let's make some cookies!'  
***  
Before I knew it, I was starting to get tea ready and it became very obvious that one of my specialist skills was creating new ways how to waste time. After making the cookies, I'd spontaneously started to clear out my wardrobe and now I was concentrating on what we'd be eating for dinner.

In a handful of hours it would be Christmas. And I could hardly contain myself.

What's more, it seemed as though the weather forecast may not have been entirely incorrect when it had predicted a white Christmas this year, seeing as heavy snow had started falling an hour ago and there was no sign of it letting up. This made me even more excited.

Once the girls were in bed, I could spend the evening curled up under a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and a cookie - our baking mission had surprisingly well - spiraling away a couple of hours watching some cheesy Christmas movie.

It was going to be amazing.

I looked up at the sudden knock on the door, running a hand through my hair. I wasn't expecting any visitors tonight, unless it was Aimee saying she'd forgotten to buy Joe a present and was in desperate need of some help.

But it wasn't, which did surprise me a little as Aimee was famed for being forgetful. It was Aaron and Jack huddling on the front step, Jack clutching a toy close to his chest.

'I'm sorry about this, it's all Jack's fault - ' Aaron rambled Jack glared at him. 'He wants to show Lola something that can't possibly wait until tomorrow - '

'Really? How intriguing - ' I smiled, stepping back to allow them to enter and Jack practically ran over to where Lola was playing on the rug, showing off the stuffed toy he'd been clutching in his hands.

'Sean gave him a toy dinosaur as an early Christmas present and he's way too excited about it - ' Aaron murmured warmly as I leaned against the kitchen counter, watching the kids interaction. Aaron was stood so close to me that our arms were lightly brushing against each other and I could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

I'd spent the last couple of days pushing Mike from my mind and reminding myself over and over again that Aaron wasn't him - because while I knew this, there was something in the back of my mind determined to make me feel nervous about so much as standing close to him and feeling his breath on my skin.

'That was nice of him - ' I replied with a smile, turning to look at Aaron and noticing how his lips were quirked up in a smirk. I raised an eyebrow. 'What?'

'Nothing. I just think it's funny how neither of you decided to mention that you've been having conversations for weeks now.' My mouth dropped open slightly but I found myself giggling at Aaron's expression. He looked so done.

'I guess I'm busted.'

'I really didn't think you'd go ranting about me behind my back, especially with my own brother.' Aaron continued, his eyes teasing. 'You really are ganging up on me - '

'I happen to like him. He's not as terrible as you make him out to be.' I said firmly, wondering how the hell he'd figured it out. There was nothing that I was going to be able to keep from him.

Aside from presents. Because I never spilled on presents.

'Do I have competition?' I rolled my eyes.

'Obviously. Because that's why I'm spending Christmas day with you instead of him.'

'Noted.' Aaron pulled his gloves off and tucked them into his pocket, just as Lexi seized Jack's dinosaur and began chasing Lola around the room with it, disappearing into the hallway and up the stairs, with Jack trailing after them. The poor guy had a lot to get used to.

Aaron shifted next to me, leaning forwards to rest his arms on the table. The silence between us was paramount - it wasn't awkward, just telling.

On Saturday afternoon, when the girls had been engrossed with re-watching Elf for the fifth time that day, Aaron had called me and we'd talked about everything to do with Mike, about what had happened, how I felt about it and how it was going to affect us. I'd started quietly crying at some point and hadn't even noticed.

But that conversation had been one thing. Seeing him now, and thinking back on everything that I'd told, was something else entirely. Because while my fling with Mike had been brief, it had been powerful, and I wasn't stupid in knowing it was going to affect me for the rest of my life.

'How is Sean?' I asked suddenly, tearing myself away from my thoughts and back into the moment. Aaron's eyes were fixed on me and if he'd noticed that I'd glazed over while staring at his hands, he didn't mention it. He was probably reading pages and pages about me right now but he'd never say it.

'Good. He's spending tomorrow with some friends so he's excited for that - '

'You don't have to spend it here, you know.' I said, a rush of guilt shooting through me over the fact I was dragging Aaron away from one of the only family members that he had left...'You could spend it with Sean if you - '

'I want to spend it with you.' He said, crossing the kitchen in three strides and taking hold of my hands. 'Really.'

Had he noticed how I'd been staring at his and wondering why he wasn't touching me? If what I'd told him about Mike would make him reluctant to touch me, in case I bolted? In case -

'Okay.' I breathed, staring to smile as I met Aaron's gaze. Whenever he looked at me, really looked at me, I found myself smiling.

'Sean's excited about drinking his weight in alcohol.' Aaron said and I opened my mouth to start listing off all the ways this was damaging to his health but Aaron tapped his thumb onto my chin, making me smirk. 'And I'm excited about coming here and eating whatever wonderful thing you're going to be making.'

'Hold that thought, I haven't made anything yet.'

'Are you feeling better?'

'It doesn't hurt as much to talk.' I said, taking note of the sincere look in his eyes. While the bruising was still prominent, my voice no longer ached like I'd been shouting all night. 'Do you and Jack want to stay for tea?'

'No, we should get off in a minute. I've got some last minute wrapping to do - ' My mouth flew open, dislodging his hand from where he'd been gently cupping my face and he rolled his eyes.

'What? You've - '

'I know, I know I'm disorganized, calm down.' He pleaded and I gave him a sharp look. How could anyone possibly leave their wrapping to the last minute? How could they still function? Wasn't he panicking?

'How are you so calm about it all?'

'I'm not about some things...'

'Like what?'

'What should I wear tomorrow?'

'Anything.' I said instantly, before realizing that this was not the advice Aaron was looking for. 'Not too formal because it's just me who likes dressing up. But honestly, anything will be perfect. Joe will be wearing a t-shirt so no one will give you two looks - '

Unless you look devastatingly handsome, which I know you will do...

Aaron looked like he was going to add something but at that moment the kids padded back into the room. 'Come on buddy, we need to go home - '

'Aaron's got wrapping to do.' I said firmly and he rolled his eyes at me.

'You told me you'd wrapped everything!' Jack insisted with a pout.

'I bought that other thing at the weekend, remember?' Aaron said cryptically, emphasizing the 'other thing'.

'What other thing?'

'The other thing.' Aaron repeated, shooting Jack a conspiratorial wink.

'I don't know what kind of mind-reading is going on right now but it's freaking me out.' I said with a laugh as Aaron guided Jack over to the door, his dinosaur toy in his hand.

'I dare say you'll find out tomorrow - '

Now I knew I was never going to sleep. Because, like a child, I wanted to know all the presents I was going to get. And Aaron had just dropped me a hint.

'Bye - ' Aaron kissed me gently on the lips, my hands automatically sliding to clutch at his shoulders. I felt basically no pain in my neck anymore, apart from when I prodded a particular bruise, but the way that Aaron was being so gentle made me blush.

'Bye - ' I repeated, my voice soft and slightly breathless. The words were on the tip of my tongue as they passed out the door and down the path, their feet crunching in the snow. I wanted to say it, I wanted to say it so badly that I was going to burst if I didn't.

But Aaron and Jack were already inside the car, protected against the cold, oblivious to the words that wanted to fall from my lips.

I love you.


	36. Triginta Quinque

Every year, I promised myself that I wasn't going to budge until 8 AM. That I'd remain in bed and sleep because the day was going to take enough out of me without me being up half the night.

And every year I had to abort my plan but it was never just down to me being far too excited; it also had something to do with the pair who started frantically jumping on my bed as the sun was coming up, telling me that I had to get up.

This year was no different. I was up before 7, making pancakes and eying up the stack of presents that was nestled under the tree. Lola and Lexi had inherited my love for Christmas too but I had to put my foot down - no presents before they'd eaten their breakfast.

Christmas was amazing. But it was also really tiring.

And this year, I had to take into account that Aaron and Jack were spending the day here ; I had to make dinner for all 11 of us taking into account my mom's nut allergy and Aunt Linda's lactose intolerance.

So, while I was still dressed in my pajamas and a grey cardigan for extra warmth, I'd started making preparations. That is, after I'd collected all the discarded wrapping paper. Christmas was my absolute favourite time of the year and because of this, I went all out on the food.

I quickly got to work with preparing the turkey and soon had it in the oven. The girls were nagging me about opening some of my presents but I was set on preparing all the veg first. If I was organized, then I'd enjoy the day a lot more.

After a further hour and a bit of peeling and chopping the carrots and potatoes (I knew that the kids all loved mash so I'd made sure I had extra), I was beginning to feel a lot more organized. The sprouts, parsnips and peas didn't need anything doing to them and neither did the sausages - or pigs in blankets as Mom called them - and they didn't need particularly long to cook either.

Just as I was about to sit down and catch the start of Arthur Christmas as well as open some of my own presents, the door bell rang. Running a hand through my disheveled hair, I quickly hurried to the door, not even pausing to check the peep hole.

'Merry Christmas!' Jack was stood on my front porch, dressed in a very smart green shirt, beaming his head off. Behind him was Aaron, dressed in an similar forest green sweater. He took in my slightly disheveled appearance and smirked, his eyes sparkling.

'Merry Christmas!' I replied, stepping aside so that they could enter. I was more than happy to return to the steaming heat of the kitchen. 'Look who's here!'

The girls tore their eyes away from the TV and ran over to Jack, rambling their greetings and discussing what presents Father Christmas had left for them. I heard something about a bike. Aaron must have been able to find the model he wanted, then.

'We're not too early, are we?' Aaron asked anxiously, taking in the slight mess that was building up in the kitchen.

'No, of course not. I'm glad you're here before the madness descends.' Aaron smiled, taking a lock of hair that had fallen in front of my face and tucking it behind my ear.

'Is everything alright? Do you want any help with anything?'

'No, everything's under control. For the moment anyway.' I insisted.

'Mom! Where's Jack's present?' Lola's words dragged me away from Aaron and I pointed to under the tree where a large sparkly blue bag was sat. 'And, I think there may even be something for you.' I teased, meeting Aaron's eye.

'Oh really?' He smirked back.

'Well, I mean, it depends on whether you've been good or not.'

'I could say the same thing.' Aaron replied, meeting my lips in a kiss that did nothing to bring my body temperature down back to normal, given the heat of the kitchen. 'And Merry Christmas.'  
***  
   
While Lola, Lexi and Jack were chattering about the presents that they'd received - Lola was infatuated with the duck plushie that Aaron had somehow managed to track down - I turned my attention to the small pile of gifts that Aaron had given me. I had yet to open any of my presents and the 5 year old within me was beginning to grow impatient.

'Should I open one and then you open one or what?' I asked, looking over at Aaron and seeing a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

'Sure, whatever you want.' He nodded, his foot tapping agitatedly on the floor.  
   
'Is there any specific one that you want me to open first?'  
   
'No.' He shook his head and I sighed.  
   
'Why'd you look so nervous?' I asked, my tone light and Aaron rolled his eyes.  
   
'Because I want you to like them!' He said, blushing slightly.  
   
'I'm going to love them.' I assured him, ignoring the fact that I was practically sweating with stress.  
   
'You haven't even opened them yet.' He mumbled, his eyes locking onto the kids who were giggling over the joke book that I'd bought Jack.  
   
'And I already know that I'm going to love them.' I said, pressing a brief kiss to his cheek as I picked up my first present which was in a large purple holographic bag.  
   
I pulled out the brightest bouquet of flowers that I'd ever seen but the flowers weren't bright in a gaudy, unnatural way. The peonies were vibrant pink and purple and yellow, in varying different hues, all arranged in a gorgeous foiled box.

'See, you're already off to an amazing start. They're beautiful.' I said, smiling widely. 'Thank you.'

'No problem.' Aaron turned to his pile of presents that was sitting on the couch next to him. He took the first one, carefully unwrapping a long black box. He removed the lid and smiled, taking out the sleek black fountain pen that had 'Aaron Hotchner' printed in tiny silver letters on the side.

'You always need a pen. And I dare say that yours always have to look professional so - '

'It's great. Thanks. I'll put it on my desk when I go back to work.' He said, beaming as he inspected the pen in more detail.

'Which is not for three whole days.' I reminded him, taking the next present which was significantly larger and heavier. I unwrapped the paper to reveal a large box of my favourite chocolates and three books: one being the latest cookbook from a famous TV chef, the second being a book tracing the history of the pill and the third being a book about Britain in the early 1920s.

'Well these are going to get eaten very quickly.' I teased, gesturing to the box of chocolates. 'And these look great, honestly.' I was slowly being filled with the happy, giddy feeling of a child on Christmas day because these presents were my equivalent of the latest new toy. How did he know me so well?

'I thought they sounded like things you'd like.'

'They are. You know me so well - ' I said with a grin. 'Or is that just because you're a profiler?'

Aaron smirked and slowly unwrapped his next present, a blue and grey striped tie. I knew it was boring but I knew that he'd use it because he practically lived in them.

'I know it's dull but I you wear ties a lot. I figured you could probably use a new one.'

'No, it's not dull. I do wear them a lot. And they can wear out surprisingly quickly.' He said with a grateful smile and I turned to my final present.

As I unwrapped it, I saw that it was a small black box made for jewelry. I slowly lifted the lid and I was sure that my heart nearly stopped. Inside were a pair of earrings. The hooks were made of a rose gold metal but the thing that caught my eye was the large, glimmering, blush pink stones that hung from each of them like teardrops.

'Oh my gosh, they're gorgeous!' I exclaimed, a giddy smile slipping onto my face. 'Aaron, they're beautiful. I love them! Thank you so, so much!'

The kids suddenly looked up, noticing the excitement in my voice and Lola and Lexi ran over to investigate my present.

'Thank you so much!' I gushed, kissing Aaron quickly on the lips and watching him slowly blush. 'I'll put them on later.'

'I'm just glad that you like them.' He murmured, taking my hand in his and squeezing it.

'I adore them.'

He then moved onto his final present but I couldn't stop staring at the earrings that were glinting in the pale light emitting from the Christmas tree. They were absolutely stunning and I already loved them to pieces. He gently unwrapped the large flat box and I watched his eyes light up as he lifted out the brown leather wallet.

'I did some digging and my top secret source told me that you were in dire need of a new wallet.' I teased, shooting Jack a conspiratorial wink as he grinned at me.

'My old one's practically fallen apart but I've not have time to go out and get a new one.' He said, smoothing his hands over the fresh leather.

'Well, now you don't need to.' I said with a smile.

'And who's this secret source?' He asked suddenly, his eyes meeting mine. I shrugged, suppressing my smile.

'I can't tell you. Then it wouldn't be secret.' I had no doubts that he would have figured out that it was Jack by the end of the day but I had no qualms with keeping it a secret for now. 'Go on, open it.'

'Open it?' I nodded and he slowly undid the clasp and opened the front flap. In the space reserved for a photo, I'd placed one I'd took a few weeks ago that had Jack smiling in the foreground and Lola and Lexi giggling next to him.

'I just wanted a picture with Jack on it but that wasn't going to happen so - ' I hadn't known whether to use the picture or not because I had initially wanted him to have a picture of Jack in his wallet but I had decided to use it anyway. 'What do you think?'

'I love it.' He said, grinning and I felt a spark ignite in me.

'No problem. I'm just glad you like it.' I said, repeating his words from earlier and Aaron smirked, squeezing my hand.

'The only thing that would make it better is if you were in it too.' He said, smirking and blushing at his own cheesiness as I rested my head on his shoulder.  
   
***  
At 12 exactly, the rest of the Harmon clan descended. Lola, Lexi and Jack were all happily playing Lola's new board game and Aaron was trying to assist me in the kitchen, despite me saying multiple times that there was nothing for him to assist me with.

I'd somehow found the time to quickly get changed - I was wearing a midi length plum skirt with a fluted cream blouse, a pair of nude heels and the new earrings I'd received from Aaron. I'd done nothing with my hair and had simply slapped on a bit of lip stick.

Aaron had smiled when he'd noticed my earrings and I'd jokingly asked him if he noticed anything different. Then, the door swung open. They all knew it wouldn't be locked.

'We're here!' My father's voice announced and I could've kissed Aaron as he didn't bat an eyelid at the entire thing.

Mom and Dad were dressed in corresponding shades of purple and gray, both of them carrying large bin bags which I assumed were stuffed with presents. Joe was dressed in a red t-shirt while Aimee was wearing a red sequined dress, black tights and black biker boots.

Behind them were Aunt Linda and Lily, their blonde hair so similar to my own even though I got that trait from Mom's side. I hadn't seen them in almost twelve months and it struck me just how badly I'd missed them.

I was then swept up in the arms of my parents and siblings, while Aunt Linda flounced over to the girls, proclaiming them her favourite nieces - to which Lily responded that they were her only nieces.

Aaron didn't flinch as my mom swallowed him in her perfume and Aimee joked about his lack of a novelty tie. He only smiled and wished them a Merry Christmas, graciously accepting the bag my mom thrust into his arms before she hurried over to the kids who were being swamped by my siblings and Dad.

Lily fought her way through the crowds over to me as Aaron stood by my side, continuing to stir the fat that I'd taken from the turkey in order to make the gravy. She was dressed in an black turtleneck and red plaid miniskirt, her hair curling around her waist.

'Wait a minute Lizzy, I want to show you something.' She proclaimed, reaching into the bag that was swung over her shoulder to retrieve something.

Lily had been born with a underdeveloped left arm, leaving her without a left hand, and while she had lived to adapt to it, she eagerly updated me on the new synthetic limbs that she was trialing.

'Look! You can even paint the nails!' She said, fitting the limb over arm. 'And I can control the fingers and stuff.' The nails were painted a sparkly red shade which matched perfectly with the polish on her right hand.

'It's really good. And is it comfortable?' Lily made a face, scrunching her nose up. The only facial difference between us was that she had light green eyes and mine were light blue.

'Not really. But I'm hoping I'll just get used to it.'

'Hello, anyway.' I said giggling, embracing her in my arms. 'I feel like I've not heard from you in years.' Lily and I usually regularly e-mailed and had done until about 3 months ago when Lily's latest film had started shooting.

'I know, I know I work too much. But anyway, I have news. I know that you like the beefcakes and there's this guy who works in props. He's called Eric and he's gorgeous and he rescues cats and I think he's perfect for you - ' Lily paused, taking in my silent reaction. Aaron was awkwardly stood at my shoulder and I raised an eyebrow, gesturing over to him.

Lily took one glance at him and her face paled. 'Lizzy, who the heck is that?' I gave her an awkward smile and took Aaron's hand in my own.

'This is what happens when you don't talk to me for 3 months. I did tell you he was real. This is Aaron, my boyfriend. And this is Lily, my cousin.'

'It's very nice to meet you,' Aaron smiled, stepping towards her as if to greet her but Lily stayed frozen to the spot.

'Holy shit.' Lily murmured, far too quiet for my parents or Aunt Linda to hear which was a good job really. 'Eric's ass is mine.' I rolled my eyes as Lily grinned, her eyes glazing over slightly as she imagined her possible future with Eric. 'And I really work too much.'

'Hello? Earth to Lily?' I poked her softly in the cheek and she started, as though she'd been in a dream.

'Sorry, for a moment I thought he was a hallucination or something.' I glared at this as she stepped forwards to greet Aaron, a smile consuming her face. 'It's nice to meet you too. Not that I didn't think you were real or anything but - '

'I ain't a liar - ' I murmured under my breath.

'He's not as beefy as you usually go for.' Lily said, narrowing her eyes as she looked Aaron up and down.

'What does that even mean?' I sighed exasperatedly, watching Joe and Aimee tackle Jack onto the couch.

'You know, he's not as beefy. Muscular. Robust. I'm not a dictionary - '

'Alright, alright. Go away, go and sit down - ' I smiled, pushing her away.

'Aww, am I embarrassing you in front of your new boyfriend?' Lily teased, nudging me in the ribs. She was like Kelly in many respects - she was completely unashamed.

'Lizzy, it's so good to see you!' Lily sauntered over to hug Lola and Lexi as I was swept up in the arms of Aunt Linda, Dad's junior by five years.

'Merry Christmas!' I replied, breathing in her flowery scent. 'It's lovely to see you too.'

'They look so grown up!' She exclaimed, gesturing over to Lola and Lexi. 'I can't believe how tall they are!'

'They grow up so fast.' I agreed, watching Lola and Lexi thump Joe on the shoulder as he stole the duck plushie away from them.

'And who is this dashing young man?' Aunt Linda was now gazing up at Aaron and I smirked, watching Aaron stiffen slightly under her stare.

'This is Aaron, my boyfriend.' I introduced, looping my hand around his elbow. 'And this is my Aunt Linda.'

'It's lovely to meet you.' He said and Aunt Linda stared up at him. It was easy to forget that she was only 5 foot 3 which in contrast to Aaron's 6 foot something, was rather small.

'You too, dear. Lily didn't tell me that you were seeing someone, Lizzy.'

'She's been rather busy lately. I did send her an e-mail.' I said, seeing Lily settle down on the sofa with Lexi on her knee.

'Well, I'll have to remind her to keep up to date with these things. I'm missing out on all the gossip.' She said with a wink, reaching into a bag at her side.

'It's not much but Merry Christmas, dear. I know that it's very last minute.'

'Thank you very much.' I replied, embracing her in my arms again.

'And who's that little boy over there?' She rather unsubtly gestured over her shoulder to where Jack and Joe were flicking through his joke book.

'That's Aaron's son, Jack.' I explained, shooting Aaron a smile which he returned.

'He's very well behaved, isn't he.' Aunt Linda cooed and I grinned as Aimee brought her phone out and tapped the screen, the voice of Mariah Carey suddenly filling the room.  
***  
   
'Are we going to have a song, dear? I've been warming up all day.' Aunt Linda asked, looking over at Aimee and Joe expectantly. They were both curled up on the sofa and were riffling through a box of biscuits but instantly started smiling.

'Please do a song. She's been driving me mad all day with her 'vocal warm-ups'' Lily pleaded, as Lola snuggled up next to her.

'What can I say? I'm an artist - ' Aimee and Joe started discussing festive song choices just as Aaron brought over a bottle of port and offered it round, Dad and Mom eagerly taking him up on the offer.  
   
Christmas dinner had gone brilliantly, with everyone thanking me for doing such a good job and I insisting that it had been no trouble at all, instead congratulating Mom on her trifle.

Now all the plates loaded into the dishwasher and the biscuits were being passed around and Aaron was trying to set up the new Wii that my parents, Aimee and Joe had bought the girls, I could finally relax for a moment.  
Aimee, Joe and Aunt Linda finished up their rendition of 'We Need a Little Christmas' just as Lily flung herself onto the sofa next to me, her eyes scanning the pile of presents that was at my feet.  
'What did beefcake get you?' Lily asked suddenly, shooting me a wink and I glared at her, watching Aaron's brows furrow a little.

'Will you please stop calling him that?'

'Beefcake?' Joe questioned, as he and Aimee returned to their spots on the sofa.

'She means Aaron.'

'I've had worse nicknames.' Aaron commented, looking up from the TV with a slight blush and a smile on his face

'I don't care. You won't be getting any from my cousin.' I stated strongly, watching Lily screw her face up.

'Well, what did top secret FBI agent extraordinaire Aaron Hotchner get you then?' One of the main conversations over dinner had been Aaron's profession, as per usual.

'Those flowers.' I said, pointing to the flowers that were sat pride of place on my coffee table, 'Some chocolates, some books and these earrings. And would prop guy Eric have bought me these?' I asked Lily pointedly.

'No, you'd probably get two kittens. And which would you rather get?' I considered this a moment.

'The earrings won't scratch my furniture.' Lily scowled and rolled her eyes.

'Well, the second I get back to Oklahoma City I'm going to ride him so hard that - '

'Okay dear, we get the picture.' Aunt Linda said, reaching for the biscuits, the kids suddenly cheering as Aaron managed to get their game working. Lily winked at me

We spent the rest of the afternoon and the start of the evening catching up on everything. We quickly skimmed over the fact that there had been two quite high profile serial killings in the last 3 months and moved on to Aimee and Joe starring in a musical, Lexi's possible ADHD diagnosis and, of course, Aaron and I's relationship.

We then moved onto the annual Christmas quiz. I spent the whole year preparing for it. I was dangerously competitive and it went against my morals to lose at things, even things that were supposed to be a 'bit of fun'.

Aunt Linda had organized the questions this year and we'd sorted the teams out by pulling the names out of a present bag: I was with Joe, Aimee was with Lola, Lily was with Jack, Aaron was with Mom and Dad was with Lexi.

Me and Joe ended up winning. His pop culture, sport and music knowledge coupled with my science, history and film knowledge was unrivalled although Aaron and Mom did give us a slight run for our money. They absolutely destroyed us on questions regarding the legal system and laws - considering Mom used to be a cop and Aaron used to be a prosecutor this was expected - but then we racked up the points on the science and music questions.

'You can stop showing off now, Lizzy.' Lily moaned when me and Joe had been crowned the winners. 'It's not flattering.'

'Well I'm sorry for knowing that on average a red blood cell lives for 120 days but if I didn't I wouldn't be a very good doctor - ' I replied triumphantly, standing up to collect the glasses. The kids had moved back to their game and my parents had moved back to the port.

'When has that ever, ever, ever come up at work? When?'

'Loads of times. And stop being a sore loser.' I taunted, hearing Lily mumble something under her breath.

'You missed one.' I turned around to see Aaron clutching an empty wine glass.

'I'm sorry for completely thrashing you in the quiz.' I teased with a smirk and Aaron rolled his eyes.

'You did not 'thrash' me.' Aaron said bitterly, making air quotes with his fingers which made me smile. 'We would have won if you hadn't - '

'Yeah, yeah, whatever - ' I brushed him off with a grin, taking the glass from his hands. 'We still won.' I startled as he wrapped his hands around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. I gulped at the feeling of his body pressed against mine, the softness of his jumper rubbing against my bare arms.

'I let you win - ' He whispered in my ear, his fingers moving teasingly over my lower back. I huffed and rolled my eyes, giving him a sharp look. He chuckled and I turned to face him, ignoring the feeling of his breath on my face.

'Thanks for putting up with my crazy family.' I said with a smile, running my hands across his shoulder blades.

'They're not as crazy as you made them out to be.' Aaron admitted with a shrug. 'And I like Lily - '

'That's only because she called you a beefcake.' I said with a roll of my eyes. Aaron just shrugged again, his eyes glimmering with laughter and I sighed.

Ten years ago, I could never imagine a Christmas like this happening. Dad and Aunt Linda hadn't been close at all when my Grandma, their mother, had been alive - mainly because of her blatant disapproval for Aunt Linda's choices: her boyfriend who she'd never married, her job as an actress and singing coach, keeping Lily when she found out she was pregnant.

But ever since she'd died eight years ago and we'd all been forced to communicate at her funeral, it was clear that the cracks that had formed within our family had been put there by our own making - or rather, Grandma's making.

And while it had seemed rather blunt of us at the time, her death had brought us all closer together. It was nice to have some extended family who lived on the same continent I did, as opposed to Mom's sister's family who still lived in London and we only saw once a year if we were lucky.

Aaron leaned forwards, carefully pressing his lips against mine as the room erupted in laughter. Everyone was too pre-occupied with Lily's hilarious joke to pay much attention to us. Which was good, because if anyone could see how fervently I was clutching Aaron's hair as he lightly pushed me back against the counter, his arms around my waist and his body flush against mine, I knew I would never be able to live it down.

I broke away reluctantly, breathing heavily as I took in Aaron's expression, he too panting slightly. After my experience with Mike, I never thought that being breathless would be a good thing. But as Aaron leaned forwards again, one hand sliding lower to clutch the small of my back while the other cupped my face, and my hands slid into his hair, it was clear I had been wrong.

I hoped Lily had a couple more jokes up her sleeves to keep the rest of the room entertained. Or we were going to have to find another room. Because I was so not done with kissing. 

FEATURED SONGS:  
Glee Cast - We Need A Little Christmas  
Norbet Leo Butz, Aaron Tveit, Tom Wopat, Rachel de Benedet - Christmas Is My Favourite Time Of Year


	37. Triginta Sex

How I'd manage to squish 7 profilers, 4 children, a band, a cop and Kelly into my house at the same time was something that I was still trying to get my head around. And even though this was a social event, everyone seemed to be enjoying the music for the moment - the band were rehearsing for an office party and insisted they needed the practice.

They'd been here for the best part of an hour and still hadn't left.

'Come on, guys, you need to go! You'll be late!' I pressed, watching the band scuffle around the Christmas tree where they'd haphazardly arranged their microphones and sound systems.

'Just two more songs!' Aimee pleaded, looking at me with wide eyes. 'Please, Lizzy!'

'Fine, two more.' I said, passing Kelly a glass of Champagne which she gladly received and starting digging into the mountain of food I'd laid out on the coffee table - it was all leftovers from yesterday that I needed to get rid of.

Aimee burst into 'Santa Baby' as I popped open a second bottle, looking on amused as she dedicated a verse of the song to each of the men in the room. Will and Spencer, in particular, was looking rather flushed while Aaron was smirking. I think he'd began to realize the craziness that was Aimee Madison Harmon.

Upstairs, I could hear maniacal laughter and dreaded to think what Lola and Lexi were getting up to, now that they had Jack and Henry to play with. Aimee performed a theatrical bow as she finished her song and she winked in my direction.

The band suddenly launched into 'Angels We Have Heard On High' as Aunt Linda and Lily stepped into the room. I had two spare rooms so it had seemed silly for them to book a hotel for the few nights they were in town.

'We're going out for dinner.' Lily explained to me, as Aunt Linda paused to watch the band. 'Mom made a reservation somewhere fancy.'

'Go and have a great time.' I said with a smile, listening to the soaring clarity of Aimee's voice as she hit the highest note. I could listen to her singing for days.

Aimee belted out the final note and the room erupted in a round of applause. 'I think you're going to do fine.' I said with a grin as Aimee let out a breath. 'And you really need to leave now - '

'Keep going and you might be a better singer than me.' Aunt Linda teased as I noticed that a few members of the team giving them confused looks.

'This is my cousin Lily and my Aunt Linda.' I explained, as Kelly and Penelope shot up from the chairs to give Lily a hug. They'd met her a few times before and they'd always got on well. 'They're staying here for a few days.'

Lily peeled Kelly and Penelope off her, moving towards the door. 'We should be back around 8:30 ish.' Aunt Linda said, tying her scarf tightly around her neck.

'That's no problem. We'll still be here.' I said with a smile, motioning to the room. 'And so will that lot if they don't get a move on.'

'Alright, I get it! We're leaving!' Aimee shouted and I stuck my tongue out in retaliation, the clatter of footsteps down the stairs filling my ears.

'Oh, incoming.' I heard Aaron mutter and I smirked watching the girls run into the room, closely followed by Jack and Henry.

'Mom! Can we have a Mario Kart battle?' Lola asked, her hair disheveled.

'Do you have to?'

'Yes!' Lexi shouted as I made a face of protest and turned to face Aimee and Joe who were just about to leave.

'This is all your fault, you know.' I said, as the new bane of my life replaced the documentary that had been playing on the TV. I'd had no clue just how annoying something could be before I'd been introduced to Mario Kart.  
   
***

'Yes! Take that!' I exclaimed, shooting Aaron a triumphant look as my kart raced across the finish line and Lola and Lexi burst into applause.

'That's not fair, you cheated!' Aaron complained as his kart crossed the line in second place and I rolled my eyes.

'What was that? You were rubbish, Dad.' Jack moaned and I smirked.

'I did not cheat.' I said, shooting him a glare as the kids suddenly ran past me and hurried back up the stairs, laughing.

'You did. Didn't she cheat?' Aaron asked, climbing to his feet and looking at the rest of the team for input.

'I'm staying out of this.' David said, holding his hands up. 'This is how divorces start.'

'It's a kids game, Aaron. You can't cheat.' I said, taking a celebratory swig of champagne as Penelope gave me two thumbs up and a wide smile.

'I didn't know you were such a gamer.' Derek smirked.

'I'm not. I just know how to drive.' I said, a mischievous smile on my face. Aaron glared at me, his eyes narrowing.

'That was uncalled for.' He said, stomping over to the sink to deposit his empty wine glass.

'Aww, are you mad?' I said, wrapping my arms around myself and watching Aaron turn away from me. The rest of the team were looking on amused and I bit my lip as I approached him. 'I'm sorry. I'll let you win next time.' I promised, giving him a hopeful look.

'That's not the point.' He muttered, still facing away from me.

'How about I make it up to you?' I teased, taking hold of his hands so he had to look at me. He was pouting slightly but his eyebrows were now raised in interest.

'And how do you propose to do that?' He said, his lips quirking into a smirk and I rolled my eyes.

'You're so dirty minded.' I said with a grin and Aaron made a face.

'Says the woman who has been pointing out every single euphemism in every single Christmas song.' Aaron replied and I ignored his comment, pressing my lips to his.

'No! PDA! It's too much! I can't handle it!' Kelly cried sarcastically from behind me and I tore away from Aaron to shoot her a glare that could have put her in her grave. The team were looking on amused, JJ and Emily both grinning.

'Lizzy can kiss people if she wants to.' Penelope defended and I gave her a thankful smile as I crossed the room to sit down on the sofa, Aaron behind me.

'And you can't talk. You're the queen of PDA.' I stated, smirking as I reached for a grape and Aaron sat down beside me.

'No I'm not.' Kelly said with a sigh and a roll of her eyes. Penelope and I gave her a hard look.

I slipped the black heels from my feet and tucked my feet next to me, smoothing out my navy mid-length skirt and the black sleeveless blouse that I was wearing.

'Where did you get this, Lizzy?' Emily suddenly asked and I looked up to see her leafing through a large book entitled '1001 Questions to Break the Ice With'.

'It was a Christmas present.' I explained, reaching for a stick of celery. 'From some friends.'

'Who?' Kelly inquired suddenly.

'Saffron and Lydia.' I said. 'Because I hold so many parties that strangers attend.' The team were all looking at me with confused looks on their faces. 'They're in my dance class.'

'You dance?' Derek exclaimed and I nodded.

'Yeah, ballet. Didn't you know?' I looked over at Aaron who shrugged.

'It never came up in conversation.' I noticed that Spencer was smiling slightly and I instantly got curious.

'What?' He cleared his throat quickly.

'I...predicted that you did but I couldn't be wholly sure - '

'And how did you do that, pretty boy?' Derek asked, his tone full of disbelief. Spencer straightened his posture, turning his attention to me.

'Your stance is tall and up-right and you're light on your feet, suggesting years of dancing. You often wear your hair in a bun at the nape of your neck. And you also have a surprisingly muscular frame for someone so tall and...ahem...'

'Good spot.' I smiled, watching Spencer look a little awkward. I highly doubted that I'd ever have been able to be a professional dancer because there sadly weren't many top-heavy ballerinas around.

'How long have you been dancing for?' David asked and I cast my mind back.

'Years. I did it as a kid for ten years then stopped when we moved to Virginia. I started doing adult classes six years ago. I took it really seriously when I was younger. I wanted to do it professionally.'

'But then you changed your mind?' I shrugged.

'It didn't work out like that.'

'Well, seeing as there are obviously things that we don't know about you - ' Derek started, stealing the book from Emily's hands, 'I guess we should ask you some questions.'

'You can share all our fun times, Lizzy!' Penelope exclaimed.

'Just not all of them.' Kelly murmured and I smirked.

'Fine. Ask away.' I said, somewhat nervously, as Derek flipped through the book. I had had a flick through myself and knew that there were some questions I definitely didn't want to be asked.

'Okay. First one, we're starting off big. Have you ever been skinny-dipping?'

'Yes.' I said without hesitation, watching everyone's face morph into one of surprise. 'I was 19 and I can't be held accountable for my actions.'

I had a feeling that the team thought I was the typical, goody-two shoes, teacher's-pet type. And while I did like to please in an academic setting, I was definitely crazier and swearier than they'd given me credit for.

'Why don't you pass the book round?' I suggested and Derek grudgingly passed it over to Kelly.

'Oh, I don't need to ask a question. I already know everything.' She passed the book onto Will, who'd I'd been introduced to little over an hour ago and had already connected with over our time spent in New Orleans.

'When's your birthday?' He asked with a shrug. 'Because I don't know anything.'

'April 27th.' I said as he passed the book onto JJ with a gentle smile.

'I hope you're keeping notes, Aaron.' David said. 'You've not long to prepare.' Aaron rolled his eyes and shot me a smile, taking hold of my hand and squeezing it.

'Okay. What's a skill that you have that no one else in this room has?'

'She can stick things in people's vaginas.' Kelly said bluntly, taking a gulp of champagne and I shrugged.

'I mean in essence, yes. That is all I do.' Kelly snorted.

'Is Lizzy making a sex joke?' Kelly asked sarcastically.

'Back to the questions before we were so rudely interrupted.' I continued.

'By Lizzy making a sex joke...' Kelly repeated.

'Yes, either Gynecology, ballet, my weird accent thing or Latin. Oh, wait, you know every language, you know Latin.' I trailed off, meeting Emily's eye.

'You know it too?' Emily asked.

'Who speaks Latin?' Derek questioned.

'Two people in this room.' I replied with a smirk. 'And I majored in Human Biology and minored in Latin. I said I did it because it was the language of medicine. But it mainly consisted of just learning swear words.'

'This is going to a nerdy one. What's your Hogwarts house?' Emily said with a wide, if somewhat nervous, smile.

'Me and Lizzy are the same!' Penelope exclaimed, shooting me a smile. 'We're both Hufflepuff. But Lizzy could definitely pass as a Slytherin.'

'You've seen her get her claws out. She might look harmless but under the pencil skirts and the baking, she's not one to mess with.' Kelly said seriously, and I rolled my eyes.

'And Kelly's a Gryffindor.' I said with a smirk.

'Roar, I'm a lion.' She deadpanned and I grinned.

'Me and Em worked it out one plane journey.' Pen said eagerly, giving Emily a grin. 'She's Slytherin along with Rossi. Reid's a Ravenclaw. Obviously.' As if the boy-genius could be any other house. 'And JJ, Morgan and Hotch are all Gryffindor.'

'Interesting.' I said, smiling over at Aaron. 'I always knew you were a Gryffindor.' I whispered to him as David began flicking through the pages.

'And how's that?' He replied, leaning closer to me.

'Because you're brave and noble and chivalrous.' I said, watching his face colour slightly as he pressed a kiss to my cheek.

'Thanks for the compliment.' He said, smirking slightly. 'And you're a Hufflepuff because you're dedicated and fiercely loyal and protective of the people that you care about.'

'Why thank you,' I said jovially, as David cleared his throat.

'Right, that's enough love birds. Reid, pick a year - ' He said, looking over at Spencer who's face was blank for a moment.

'1666.'

'I don't think Lizzy's that old.' He smirked and my jaw dropped in mock outrage. 'Try again.'

'1998.' Spencer said and I nodded. I was 14 that year.

'Okay. 1998. What's the best thing that happened to you that year?'

'Easy.' I said with a grin. 'I met Penelope Garcia and Kelly Santiago for the first time.' My early teenage years really had been shit, but that was one highlight that I would never forget. Their friendship had made life bearable.

'Aww!' Penelope gasped, leaning over Aaron to squeeze my shoulder. 'I love you too.'

'I am pretty amazing.' Kelly stated, but there was a softness in her eyes that showed her sincerity. David passed the book to Spencer who bit his lip.

'How about the last time you were drunk?'

'Tipsy or fully drunk?' I asked. 'Because those are two very different things.'

'Fully drunk.' JJ confirmed and Kelly instantly starting grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

'I was 23, so quite a while ago.' I said with a shrug.

'And that was the last time we let Lizzy near a white Russian.' Kelly inputted, winking at me and I internally groaned.

'Why? What happens with Lizzy and white Russians?'

'Hell breaks loose.' Kelly muttered.

'I am two types of drunk. If you get me drunk on white Russians then I get violent and will pick a fight with anyone and will probably end up hitting someone. If you get me drunk on anything else then I'm very handsy and will sit like this - ' I moved my legs into Aaron's lap, wrapping one arm around his neck and pressing the other to his chest. 'And will laugh at everything you say - '

'And probably fall of a lot of tables. But we don't need to talk about that.' Kelly murmured as I removed my legs from Aaron's lap, watching him blush.

'What? Falling of tables?' David started but I dismissed it with a wave of my hand.

'It's a long story. And I'm not drunk enough for that.'

'I didn't know Lizzy was so...' David struggled for his words and Kelly let out a giggle.

'Crazy? She was a nut for a good 4 years. How else do you think she got pregnant at 24?'

'That's not fair.' I said with a smile, knowing Kelly didn't mean it to be bitter. 'Life knew what I needed before I did.'

'I want another one.' Derek said, as the book was passed around back to him. 'Alright. What about the last time you were in a hospital?'

'You don't have to answer that, Lizzy.' Kelly said instantly, her eyes narrow. Her sharp tone deflated the jovial atmosphere in the room and I could feel everyone's eyes on me. Aaron's hand rejoined mine and squeezed it in a soothing manner.

'That would be Saturday, working over-time seeing as half the staff disappeared - ' I said, trying to regain the happy, light atmosphere that had been created just moments before.

'I don't mean that.' Derek said with a smirk and I swallowed the lump in my throat, my eyes darting between Kelly and Penelope whose eyes were sharp.

'You don't have to answer if you don't want to.' Aaron said, his eyes fixed on my expression. 'It's only a bit of stupid fun.'

'No. It's okay.' I said after a moment, my eyes meeting Kelly's.

'Lizzy - ' She started.

'No, its fine.' I pushed. 'I - I - The last time I was in hospital was a couple of years ago.I had a miscarriage. Well, kind of. He was stillborn - '

'He?' Aaron murmured next to me and I nodded, looking up at him and feeling as though we were the only ones in the room.

'Yeah. Lola and Lexi would have had a little brother to play with but something happened with my placenta and - ' My voice cracked and Aaron squeezed my hand, his eyes warm. The room was completely silent as the memories came flooding back. 'I only found out after I'd kicked Clint out and I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I know it sounds silly but I think that's why I connected to Jack so much, he reminded me of - '

My voice broke again just as the phone started to ring. Anyone who knew me would call me on my cell, so I knew that this must be work related. I hurried over to the phone, the feelings of uselessness and emptiness that had consumed me for so many months rushing back into my head.

'Hello?' My voice sounded thick and congested and I quickly cleared my throat. 'Dr. Harmon speaking.'

'Hello, it's Dr. Terzaki and I - oh, wait a minute - ' The sound of three dogs barking suddenly filled my ears and I stepped back a little, walking into the kitchen. Why was Terzaki calling me?

'Who is it?' Kelly asked and I met her eyes, a lump forming in my throat. I mouthed his name and listened intently for his voice on the other end.

'Why is he calling you?' She asked, sounding as shocked as I felt and I shrugged.

'Who is it?' Aaron asked, his voice calm, but as his eyes met mine I could see the pain behind them. I swallowed, trying to root myself back in the present. I didn't want sympathy. I'd received enough back then.

'Dr. Terzaki, the new head of Gynecology.' Kelly answered as I heard raised voices and the shuffling of footsteps.

'Terzaki?' Derek asked.

'He's Greek.' Kelly replied simply. 'But he's nice.'

'I'm sorry about that, Dr. Harmon.' He said suddenly and I dragged my attention back to his voice and away from the chill in my stomach. 'Bertie caught a pigeon. He forgets that he's not a hunting dog sometimes. I'm sorry for calling you in the holidays, I'm sure you're very busy.'

'It's alright.' I said, glad to hear that there was no trace of sadness or grief in my voice. 'What can I help you with?'

'I was actually hoping that you could help me.' He paused for a moment my heart started pumping. What was happening? 'There's a conference in Richmond in a few weeks on Gynecology and all the major hospitals in Virginia are sending representatives. I'm attending and I was hoping that you would join me.'

'Really?' I couldn't really believe what he was saying. The conference was a massive deal. And he wanted me to go with him?

'Really. You're an extremely dedicated and hardworking member of staff and it's obvious how passionate you are about your patients and Gynecology as a whole. Dr. Griffin has been singing your praises, as has everyone else within the department. Dr. Bartholomew even specially recommended you. So yes, I would love for you to attend with me. What do you say?'

I didn't speak for a moment. I couldn't believe any of it. Firstly, that Evan had actually recommended me and secondly that Tzacky wanted me over everyone else within the department. Kelly was waving at me, mouthing 'what?' over and over again, growing more frustrated by the second. But the smile on my face just grew.

'Oh, yes. Yes! Of course I'll come with you.' I answered, reminding myself that I was on the phone with my boss, one of the many people who seemed to share that title nowadays. 'I'd be honored to.'

'I am absolutely thrilled to hear that. You were my first choice, of course. But if you couldn't make it, I was going to have to go with Dr. Bartholomew and he isn't exactly one for small talk.' I smirked at this.

'No, he's not. But he's a very good doctor.'

'That he is. Oh, the date is the 22nd of January and we can co-ordinate transport when you come back.'

'That's great. And thank you for asking me.' I said. My mind was still blown. I couldn't believe I was actually being invited to a big, important conference by the head of Gynecology. I just couldn't comprehend it. It didn't seem real.

And I was his first choice. I could do my job.

'I'll let you go then, Dr. Harmon. I hope you're having a lovely holiday.'

'You too. And thank you again.'

'Well what? What? What is it? Who's died? What's happened?' Kelly was shouting, her face stressed. 'What? Just tell me Lizzy!' My smile grew even wider and I suddenly poured myself a glass of champagne. I felt like I deserved it.

'I have been invited to a very big and important conference in Richmond.'  I said, not able to contain my excitement.

'Have you actually?' exclaimed Kelly and I nodded, my eyes still wide with shock. Penelope was beaming and Aaron was smiling at me, a look I identified as pride on his face. It made me feel weak at the knees.

'I was his first choice apparently.'

'Of course you were. He'd be a fool to not pick you.' Kelly said. 'And you're not a prick.'

'But Sylvie's got three years experience on me.' I breathed, tripping over my words as the news started to sink in.

'It's because you're brilliant at your job.' Aaron said with a wide grin as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. 'And everyone knows it.'

'Hear hear!' Penelope shouted as Aaron pressed a brief yet passionate kiss to my lips that left me feeling dizzy and wrapped his arm around me.

My entire body was warm with joy and excitement. I was surrounded by people who supported me and loved me. Everyone around me was happy and safe. And as David raised a toast in my name, and everyone raised their glasses, I knew that I was too.

FEATURED SONGS:  
Kylie - Santa Baby  
Glee Cast - Angels We Have Heard On High


	38. Epilogus

Can you believe that's the end of another part? It's gone by so fast! And yes, there will be another part following the next step in Lizzy and Aaron's relationship, uncovering some more about Lizzy's dark and complicated past, which will be being published next year, probably some time in April.

Update: The third part is now published! Read it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16516898/chapters/38686949)

And, because I get so obsessed with the worlds that I write in, I've made character aesthetics for every major character in this world as well as story aesthetics for this part and the previous part which you can check out on my Pinterest (https://www.pinterest.co.uk/abi_cxx/story-aesthetics/). If you'd like to see me do any other characters, or any other themes featured in the story, then be sure to let me know as I'll definitely be doing more over the coming weeks.

In the meantime, you can check out my completed story taking place in the Marvel universe, featuring some kick-ass characters, espionage, romance and some adorable dogs! You can also keep an eye out for my story set in the Now You See Me film universe, following my own set of characters as well as the Four Horsemen (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13437687/chapters/30797487)

You can also check out my brand new story set in Narnia featuring some badass characters, the usual mystery and intrigue and the dish that is Caspian X - or Ben Barnes, take your pick - https://archiveofourown.org/works/14712116/chapters/34000445

Thank you guys so much for reading!


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